So she decided to write it herself. Encased in a stunning design package with beautiful feminine illustrations, this is an ideal gift for your best friend, aunt, sister or fairy godmother.

    His humor and short fiction appear in various publications throughout the Southeast.

    Then, never having owned a tin box on wheels, they accidentally bought a caravan. They named her ‘Kismet’ – which means ‘Fate’. Half way down the second bottle of CCC (Caravan Celebratory Champagne) they made the perfectly rational decision to go straight from being First-Timers to Full-Timers. Within a month, they had sold most of their possessions on eBay and rented out their apartment to tour in Kismet full time. They called it ‘Early Retirement’ and set out to Live the Dream by touring Europe with their surfboards on their roof. ‘Fur Babies in France’ is the story of their first year on wheels with Kismet and ‘Big Blue’ – their trusty tow vehicle (and toy box) - a Hyundai iLoad panel van. It was a steep learning curve; one that involved lots of breakages and started on Day 1 with a near-death experience! However, Jackie and Mark approach all of their mishaps and misadventures with more than a pinch of humour. And avoiding the crowds to tour France by the back roads, they finally found what they were looking for; beauty, peace and tranquillity, with a bit of windsurfing thrown in!

    Who would? How stupid was I to assume the promotion was mine? Ha… I even had the party planned and ready. The humiliation is overwhelming. I need to get out of here. I can’t even look at these people. A trip somewhere far away and exotic is what I need. No… somewhere quiet. Maybe the wilderness where no one can reach me? Solitude. That’s what I need, where I can reset, and grasp the reality of what just happened. Branch I’m not one for getting close to any one particular girl. Hell, I love my life of isolation. Being a billionaire rancher has its perks with just as many drawbacks. I make it a point to maintain my life as private as possible on this sprawling ranch. The less people know about me personally, the better. But, as everyone knows, life loves to throw you a curve ball straight in the dirt. The woman that’s currently renting my cabin is somehow bridging a connection to my scarred heart. One that hasn’t been opened in god knows how long. I have to dig deep down and ask myself the hard questions. Can she actually handle my demons? Or should I get the hell out of dodge before someone gets hurt? **Billion Dollar Cowboy is a stand-alone, full length romance with a HEA and no cliff hanger!** ***For a limited time, and as a thank you for reading Billion Dollar Cowboy, we are including one additional full length novel co-written by Rowan. Two full length novels for the price of one!***

    Will love and strength conquer? Grace Owens has always longed for adventure. Being a restless spirit, the stories that came from the West fired her blood. So when her parish in Pittsburg brings a newspaper ad to her attention, her decision is made. She agrees to become a mail order bride and marry a man she has never met. Alonzo Forrester has everything he wants, except a wife and family. When Grace arrives on the train to be his, he thinks that everything will fall into place. But when tragedy strikes under the open skies of Montana, Grace finds herself thrown into caring for a farm and ailing husband with no experience in either. Can she muster the strength and courage to carry out the tasks ahead? Can Grace and Alonzo build a home and family together in this unforgiving land? Will they find love together? AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is a 65-page stand-alone story with an HEA, so no cliff-hangers.

    

    Back in six months whatever you do. Or three days, like last time.' Camilla Long on Nigel Farage'You're as ugly as a salad.' Bulgarian insult'I'm going to beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on.' Muhammed AliThere's no pleasure like a perfectly-turned put-down (when it's directed at somebody else, of course) but Matthew Parris's Scorn is sharply different from the standard collections. Here are the funniest, sharpest, rudest and most devastating insults in history, from ancient Roman graffiti to the battlefields of Twitter. Drawing on bile from such masters as Dorothy Parker, Elizabeth I, Donald Trump, Groucho Marx, Princess Anne, Winston Churchill, Nigel Farage, Mae West and Alastair Campbell - which form an exchange between voices down the ages - Scorn shows that abuse can be an art form. This collection includes extended literary invective as well as short verbal shin-kicks. Encompassing literature, art, politics, showbiz, marriage, gender, nationality and religion, Matthew Parris's sublime collection is the perfect companion for the festive season, whether you're searching for the perfect elegant riposte, the rudest polite letter ever written, or a brutal verbal sledgehammer.

    In fact, each setback they experience just seems to immerse them deeper into a life they have totally fallen in love with. 'Seriously Mum, Who's that Chicken?' is the latest installment of their adventures as they continue to seize the day, living off-grid and loving every minute.

    Because even though it sounds like you're calling your friend a weirdo, this book is in fact a wonderfully astute and affectionate look at the female psyche, and perfect for any girl with a sense of humor (and a desire to know what boys think of girls). With his unique Homer-Simpson-channeled-through-Jessica-Simpson sensibility, Todd Harris Goldman—that Todd Harris Goldman, the funny, crude, un-PC, very savvy author of Boys Are Stupid, Throw Rocks at Them!—explains why boys think the opposite sex is weird. Narrated by a boy who's sort of a moron, it questions all the things that are completely alien to boys, but with a surprisingly sweet insight and great good spirit. Waxing vs. shaving. The color pink. Shoe obsessions. The everyday dilemma: "Does this dress make me look fat?" The appeal of tiny little dogs. Fake boobs. The mysteries of PMS. In the end he can only conclude that girls are weirdos and leave it at that—a conclusion that girls will not only understand but own up to proudly.

    This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else. Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take. Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays: HEY DICK, WOULD YOU SEND YOUR MOM THAT PICTURE? LAURA INGALLS WILDER NEVER HAD A SIGNATURE LIPSMACKER FLAVOR MISSED MOM CONNECTION

    His book, You’re Not Helping… is a collection of short comedy articles that guide you through his delightful, inventive, and often nonsensical take on everything from attention-seeking dolphins to home invasions by the The Barenaked Ladies. You’re Not Helping… blends both humor and heart in what literary critics around the world are describing as “technically a book.” Join the 10s of readers worldwide enchanted by Ryan’s unique brand of wit.Ryan Patricks lives in San Francisco via Philadelphia. He is an aspiring comedy writer and once saw John Cusack at a Jamba Juice. You can follow him on Twitter @Ryan_Patricks or you can choose not to, it’s totally up to you.

    Despite her disappointment, she decides to make the best of the situation. That’s what she’s been taught to do.Sully always wanted to be a sheriff. When the old sheriff in Deep Well retired, he ran for sheriff and was elected by a landslide. Despite his bravery, he feels gloomy and insecure.He was in love once but, he wasn’t brave enough to tell her. After she married someone else, he had to find a mail order bride to alleviate the wound.But then he discovers that once he starts having real feelings for Geneva, the exact same issues are coming up. Will he be brave enough to tell her and risk having her break his heart? If he doesn't, they’ll never be able to have the deep and truly loving relationship that they both long for.

    It's a far cry from the heady days when he led his band, The Shooting Tsars, to the top of the charts and sell-out tours and festivals around the world.An unwelcome phone call from his deceitful ex-manager, Chas Dupont, sets in motion a chain of events that seems unstoppable.Can Will get his fractured band back together and rediscover his mojo? Are Chas Dupont's motives purely altruistic? Who are the musical mafia? And are the legendary rumours about the lost "Bloom Tape" true?

    Here is Erma Bombeck, laughing her way through childhood, marriage, motherhood, and celebrity status, even keeping her sense of humor as she battled terminal illness.

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…