Or not. No, definitely not, because the grim reaper's lost his job. He's been stripped of his scythe and banned from reaping. The angel of death has officially fallen, and he's crash-landed at 24/7 Demon Mart.It doesn't take long for DeeDee, Lloyd, and Kevin to figure out that living with the angel of death isn't easy. Lost souls. Angry exes. Ancient curses. Will the grim reaper ever get his afterlife together? The outlook is not so good.The reaper isn't the only angel who's out of sorts. Lloyd's devilish boss Faust hasn't been the same since a tentacle monster spit him out of an alternate dimension, and his ex-girlfriend tried to start the zombie apocalypse. And Angel eight ball? He's having a hell of a time juggling a terrible new boss and saving Lloyd from eternal damnation.As unreaped souls stack up and the specter of death looms larger, what's the Demon Mart crew to do? Find out in this grim reaper comedy.

    Uncle Burst's belief that his face is made of pasta is one of the milder notions with which he regales the family. Uncle Snapper is confined to a treehouse because of the uncontrollable urges he feels once his gun is loaded. Uncle Blute drowned in the lake at the wheel of his Morris Traveller, where he remains perfectly preserved. And Nanny Jack refuses all efforts to bury her and strikes terror into her relatives' hearts as she abandons yet another final resting place. Throughout this happy breed strolls a nameless anti-hero, who, when not kidnapped by clowns or puzzling out the fossilised family tree, is passionately in love with his spaced-out sister, Adrienne ...

    When Darren’s girlfriend falls foul of his temper, things quickly spiral out of control and Stevie watches on helplessly as the violent scene unfolds.Only, he’s not the only one watching; Darren’s mates are there too, and one of them is filming the action on his smartphone. Turns out, such home movies are worth a lot of money. So much so, in fact, a new business is born and ‘actresses’ must be found…Set in the poverty-stricken, sprawling outskirts of Greater Manchester, this is an extreme horror tale and a bleak, family drama. It contains strong sex, violence and the making of snuff films.

    But how does it reflect on your teaching skills when your doppleganger murders the whole class? Follow the Dystopian Duo (Dr. Blah Blah Blah and his robot Dr. Identity) on a killing spree of epic proportions through the irreal postapocalyptic city of Bliptown where time ticks sideways, artificial Bug-Eyed Monsters punish citizens for consumer-capitalist lethargy, and ultraviolence is as essential as a daily multivitamin.

    It's a tale filled with so much adventure, so much excitement, so much vocabulary, that all who read it will suffer a fit of giddiness that will freak out everyone in their general vicinity. It's the saga of Randall, a squire assigned to escort the lovely Princess Janice on a diplomatic journey of utmost importance. Then she gets killed. Now Randall must overcome desperate odds and ridiculous dangers in his quest to bring her back to life...before the entire Generic Fantasy Land falls into the evil clutches of The Dark One! Packed to the bursting point with unrestrained silliness (so be sure to hold it a safe distance from your face when reading), How to Rescue a Dead Princess is the novel all the really cool people are reading this year, an epic fantasy for your family to cherish approximately forever.

    The Spot and Smudge series explores the love of a unique family, the loyalty of their very special dogs, and the perils of underestimating them. These smart, imaginative stories weave together elements of horror, thriller, mystery, espionage, crime, medical drama, and genetic engineering. Note: This series contains some colorful language and mature themes. "Shove over brother, let me show you the proper bloody way to strangle someone." The Hogans weren’t looking to start a war. They just wanted to leave their troubles behind, move closer to grandma, and let their kids adopt some damn puppies. But their quaint new town is harboring some gruesome secrets… …and their strange new pups are not what they appear to be. There’s a dark connection between these mysterious orphaned canines and the town’s twisted criminals…and that connection is dragging the Hogans into a ruthless fight they aren’t prepared to win. But the grit of a devoted family, like the loyalty of a faithful pair of dogs, shouldn't be underestimated… …Especially when those cunning dogs are the most significant leap forward in the forty million years of canine evolution.

    This plant is used exclusively to comply with the extremely complicated ritual laws set down in the Tablets of Enku.

    Their rival store, Devil’s Food, is about to lay siege upon them with extreme prejudice. This is no ordinary grocery chain. Devil’s Food is run by a cult of murderous Satanists committed to killing the competition—literally.Armed with hatchets, knives, maces and motorcycles, they enter the store and start picking off their victims in the most ghastly and depraved ways possible. The Freshway’s only chance of survival is to fight, and this leads to a bloody battle royal of crazed cashiers, knife-wielding demo ladies, brutal butchers, and teenage clerks determined to make their favorite death metal albums come true.The Night Stockers is a gory horror comedy by Splatterpunk Award-winning authors Kristopher Triana and Ryan Harding, the men who brought you Full Brutal and Genital Grinder. Filled with bone-crushing carnage and the heaviest metal, this one promises customer satisfaction.

     Meet Wally Moscowitz. His day job is top secret. As ghostwriter for Oral B, the most famous gangsta rapper in the world, Wally is the real mastermind behind Godz-Illa Records' best-selling artist, and the best-kept secret in the Industry. But if word gets out about Wally's true profession, Godz-Illa's kajillion-dollar rap empire will be sunk, and Wally will be dead meat. When Wally comes home one particularly bizarre afternoon to find a ransom note and his best friend and dog, Dr. Barry Schwartzman, missing, Wally goes to great lengths to stop the dognappers while keeping the big secret under wraps. He must, if he wants to walk away with his job, not to mention his life, intact. The hunt for Dr. Schwartzman and the blackmailing thug who is trying to reveal hip-hop's biggest conspiracy becomes a wild-goose chase in which everyone becomes a suspect: Sue Schadenfreude, Wally's girlfriend, who makes a pretty penny massaging Barbra Streisand's papillon, Yenta; Pardeep Vishvatma, Wally's neighbor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the suspicious characters lurking about the hood; Jerry Silver, Wally's slick-rick, self-styled superagent; Abraham "Dandy" Lyons, Wally's boss and Godz-Illa's CEO-badass with Suge Knight's street cred and Tony Soprano's "friends"; Jem, the fiery, achingly familiar vixen who steals Wally's heart; Yo Yo Pa and Teddy Bizzle, Oral B's entourage; and the mysterious mob crew: Five-two Lou, Six-seven Kevin, and Balsamic Vinny, who show up when Wally needs them most. Duck Duck Wally is a hilarious romp through the absurdities of Los Angeles, the bombastic details of hip-hop culture, and a day in the life of what was supposed to be the painfully ordinary existence of Wally Moscowitz.

    Flames of Chaos spread, swallowing up all they can with horrific hunger, bringing pain and madness to all they cross. Across the ocean, the lands have long since begun to die. The Empire of mankind struggles to maintain against the pressing weight of drought, famine, and the long-standing dangers of the Eastern Mountains, where ancient Dwarven [Constructs] and monsters roam. The people whisper of a coming doom, and some say even the Emperor's own Seers claim the end has begun... But none of these things have anything to do with a Tiny Snake. Not in the slightest. ------ From the online web-serial, comes a story of reincarnation, comedy, and the winding path towards existential redemption: All Hail The Tiny Snake God!

    After the tragic death of her mother, Paisley began to see her anxiety-induced hyper-focus as a strength. She has used this focus to become a paranormal investigator with an up and coming web series that she hopes will propel her into becoming an expert in her field. Hollis Grimm is a charismatic preacher from the small Appalachian mining town of Grey Water Ridge. When he contacts Paisley to help shine some light on the mysterious mutilation of seven women in the woods outside of town, she is on the first flight out. The locals believe God has sent a creature to punish the town for its sins, and this has captured Paisley’s attention more than the preacher or the murders themselves. The preacher, an outsider turned sheriff, an heiress and internet celebrity, a man obsessed with the past, an old-timer with an ax to grind, an obsessed fan, and a growing number of bodies stand between Paisley and the truth. After digging into the dark secrets of the town’s history and discovering a strange pattern she must decide what is more dangerous, the monster in the woods, or the people who believe in him. If she isn't careful, she will not be leaving Grey Water Ridge with the story, let alone her life.

    As he sits on the side of the road trying to calm his nerves, a man driving a red El Camino pulls up and invites him to have a drink at a saloon just up the road. At first Barlow doesn’t think much about the man in the meticulously-restored classic car, but when he gets back on the road and continues his journey into the mountains he starts to get the sinking feeling that something is just not right.On his way to the saloon he stops at a gas station that appears to be from a bygone era. There he meets Velton, the gas station attendant who rides a 1947 Knucklehead Harley. But there is something strange about Velton that he can’t quite put his finger on. And later, when he arrives at the saloon and meets Lucy, the bartender and driver of the El Camino, Barlow begins to realize that despite what he might have thought, the near-miss he had with the truck might not have been such a near-miss after all.***Infused with healthy dose of dark humor and set against a vivid backdrop of the author’s version of Hell, The Darklands is a haunting tale of the afterlife played out in a bizarre landscape populated by the souls of the damned. Follow along the winding backroads with Barlow and Candy, a sexy hitchhiker he meets along the way, as they ride through the eternal night while searching for the reason both of them have been dealt such a horrific twist of fate.Will they find a way out? Or will they suffer the same fate as the rest of the condemned souls and be forced to ride the haunted roads of The Darklands forever.

    *** It sounds like just another urban legend -- a clock appears in your home, ticking backward to midnight, and when the twelfth chime rings, the recipient is gruesomely murdered. But when Kristen receives a clock of her own, ticking backward to her doom, she must unravel its mysteries. Mysteries that have their roots in her family, and that will lead her through generations of madness. The clock is ticking, and when it reaches midnight, Kristen will discover that some urban legends are real, and sometimes the dead do not stay dead. It's only a matter of time...

    

    South China Sea. While on patrol between the Opium Wars, the crew of the steam frigate HMS Charger pursues a fleet of pirates that have been terrorizing the waters surrounding Hong Kong.But now the hunters have become the hunted. Something else has come to the South China Sea, something ancient and powerful and malevolent. Now, the crew of the Charger must face their worst nightmares in order to survive the terrible creature they come to know as the Darkstar.A Song For The Void is a haunting, terrifying historical horror novel that will keep you turning the pages and jumping at the shadows.