In the London office my new boss Victor tells me I shall be working in a regional office - and he wants me to drive there. I am to deliver Victor's shiny Jaguar: his pride and joy. The office is in Calcutta. This all sounds like fun to me. A month long holiday. How bad can that be I think and decide to invite my friend Douglas to come along for the ride. This will be a road trip to die for I tell him. Victor's P.A. Shirley is the all seeing eye. Nothing gets past here. I have to report in on my progress at key points on the route. Shirley is going to be watching me. 'If you so much as scratch it you're dead.' I laugh, what could possibly go wrong....? well just about everything. We were OK up till Trieste; then a goat got in the car - after that it was downhill all the way to Calcutta.

    In this book I have set out prove that statement is completely untrue and in fact with customers like these then maybe the opposite could be said. So sit back, grab your self a drink perhaps an alcoholic one if you feel that way inclined and enjoy some of the strangest, ridiculous and most outrageous complaints and statements from all walks of life. The second volume is out now and is much longer and in my opinion even better than the first, though i would say that.

    Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    Armed with little knowledge but much determination, they attempt a self-supported cycle tour, carrying everything they need and camping along the way, normally the domain of hardy, beardy adventurers or Olympic athletes. Join The Beardless Adventurer and her inconvenience on their epic and often highly amusing trip through Europe, wondering if they will even make it through the first night or week, let alone 5,000km. Laugh and cry along with them in the both sublime and ridiculous situations in which they find themselves, mainly due to their own incompetence but also to the magnetism they seem to possess when it comes to eccentric or colourful characters. Whether you are a well-seasoned cyclist, or someone who doesn’t know your sprocket from your elbow, you’re sure to enjoy the antics of The Beardless Adventurer and her inconvenience.

    Three kids. One trip of a lifetime. Meet Jo Teague, a woman fighting against the odds. See You in September is a hilarious and uplifting true life adventure across Europe. With visions of a second honeymoon snatched away by circumstance, the Teague family find themselves faced by riots and strikes, robbers on the beach, tantrums and taxi drivers, snakes and spiders, and other strange happenings. This book will resonate with every parent who’s ever travelled on holiday with their kids. Unlike most family trips this one is tinged with sadness. Just a few months before setting off Jo was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos – a rare and still incurable, life-threatening condition. The fun and adventure was tinged with a sense of fragility of happiness and, indeed of life itself. A great holiday read and a fantastic travel book full of the ups and downs of parenthood. Will appeal to fans of Karen Wheeler, Bill Bryson and Alec le Sueur. Now with an updated epilogue.

    The dos and don'ts of travelling and staying in Iceland. Five chapters with multiple tips in each one explain what is expected of you as a traveller - as well as some bonus tips on what you can do.

    After growing up in an Irish Catholic household, he was sent to a grammar school run by priests, from which he eventually emerged unscathed. A combination of O Levels and rock ’n’ roll led him into the bowels of Manchester’s club land, where he worked alongside strippers and Chinese strongman acts while revising the War of Jenkin’s Ear.Testosterone and guilt struggled for mastery in his lapsing Catholic chest and trousers until testosterone won and, with guilt still on his back like Quasimodo’s hump, he toured the dancehalls of Northern England in a VW panel van, taking rock ’n’ roll to one-horse towns where the horse had bolted.Warm, nostalgic and very funny, Mike Harding’s memoir of his early life in post-war Manchester is as idiosyncratic and engaging as the man himself.

    Mostly from the USA and UK, they bring into sharp focus the extent of the abuse of our critical life-saving services.With cartoons to depict calls and hyperlinks to take the reader to the original audio (some of them released in the public domain by the police and ambulance services in order to show the world how badly a minority of individuals will misuse valuable resources), this book promises to amuse and shock every right-minded person who understands what these services are here for.The author and illustrator are professional front line paramedics, so they know a thing or two about the subject; and from calls to the police for directions to 999 rants about the lack of buses, they have experienced their fair share of such stupidity.You won't believe some of the calls that have been made in the name of personal crisis. You simply won't believe what some people think is an emergency!

     After blowing all his cash on his previous long-distance bike ride (No Place Like Home, Thank God), Steven Primrose-Smith wants to go cycling again. Without the necessary funds, he decides to see if it's possible to travel thousands of miles on a budget of just £1 a day. Against advice, he puts together a team of complete strangers, including a fresh-faced student, a Hungarian chef, and a man with the world's worst bike, the beard of a goblin and a fetish for goats. While cycling from Liverpool to Gibraltar through England, Wales, France, Spain and Portugal, they plan to supplement their cash-strapped diet by fishing and foraging. It's just a pity no one knows anything about either. People quit, nerves are strained, and faces and bikes are both smashed. Will anyone make it to Gibraltar?

    This sampler contains the story of Operation Judgement; believed to be one of the most incredible raids of World War Two.Six raids that changed the course of history...Operation Judgement: one of the most spectacular efforts of World War Two, where obsolete British biplanes attacked the Italian fleet in Taranto.Operation Archery: the first true combined operation carried out by all three British forces. THis successful raid persuaded Hitler that the Allies were planning a full scale invasion.Operation Biting: a cross-Channel raid into France that was the first major attack by the British Airborne Division and its first battle honour.Operation Gunnerside: a dramatic demolition assault on Hitler's atomic bomb plant in Norway.Operation Chariot: 'the greatest raid of all': the British amphibious attack on the Normandie dry dock at St Nazaire in German-occupied France.Operation Deadstick: the story of the first Allies into the fray on D-Day, tasked with seizing and holding two bridges to prevent an armoured German counter-attack.

    When they returned the next year, they were met with sticks and stones, stripped naked and sent home with red cheeks.Mark Horrell and his two friends Mark and Ian shared a dream to climb an 8,000m peak, but it seemed the gods were against them too. They had made no fewer than eight attempts without success (though they had managed to return with their clothes on).With towering ice walls, monsoon rainstorms, arm-twisting crevasses and – most dangerous of all – welcoming teahouses ready to entrap them, would it be different this time?

    As soon as they drive across Andalusia, they fall in love with its rugged beauty, whitewashed villages, red geraniums, giant aloes, and endless olive trees. After weeks of visiting ruins and dilapidated sheds advertised as homes, they find a little stone cottage in a mountain valley in the middle of nowhere. Equipped with everything that a romantic soul desires: a patio shaded by grape vines, an ancient bay leaf tree, and a formidable oak in front of a long driveway, they fall in love with this property and decide to reform it into a guest house. With little foresight or planning, they exchange cushy expats lives for a life in the sun.Quite quickly, however, they find themselves battling cowboy builders, no electricity, a dry well, torrential rain storms, and a freezing cold winter without a roof over their heads. Through all these adventures, they develop relations with their neighbours who had lived in the valley for many generations. Puzzled by the strangers’ behaviour, the neighbours teach them about olive picking, and the cultivation of local vegetables. But primarily, they offer their endless generosity and insight into life in rural Andalusia.As they begin to settle in, financial problems confront our somewhat naïve couple. Without steady pay checks and construction bills piling up, their idea of the good life starts to fall apart. Written with a wry sense of honest humour, this story is filled with twists and turns that take the reader on a journey from a life where every day was monotonously repetitive to a place where every day presents a new challenge.

    and a bike called Reggie. Secondary school teacher Andrew Sykes moves out of the classroom, climbs onto his bicycle and sets off along the route of the EuroVelo 8, from the southern tip of Greece to the Atlantic coast of Portugal.However, this is more than just a cycling tale of border crossings and big hills, as our would-be adventurer perspires his way through a hot and sticky mix of Mediterranean landscapes, life and culture.Join Andrew as he travels Along The Med on a Bike Called Reggie: an inspirational and light-hearted travelogue for cyclists and non-cyclists alike.

    Can he find a way to recover from the setback and complete his mission to return to the little Chinese town of Mori, and in so doing complete a full circumnavigation of the planet using only his bicycle and boats? Join Chris and his girlfriend Dea as they travel across four continents and more than thirty countries in the second part of this epic tale of adventure, romance, and outright silliness. A hell of a lot of things happen as they make their way back towards China, but will there be a happy ending? Will the odd sculpture in Mori be reached without the aid of motor vehicles? You’ll have to read the book and find out, it’s not going to be revealed in the Amazon description.

    This guidebook is not meant to replace a Lonely Planet/Frommers/Rough Guide, but rather to compliment them. In NZ Frenzy you'll find info about all the South's must-see spots, plus detailed info about the lesser-known and unheralded off-the-beaten-path wonder spots. This guidebook goes WAY beyond the vague outdoor info in the mainstream travel guidebooks. NZ Frenzy is about giving you the details you'll need to find the "real" NZ, the one without lines of tour buses, the one without brochures of pay-to-see commercialized natural "attractions". NZ Frenzy, unlike any of the other mainstream guidebooks, will deliver you to the New Zealand that you've been planning for and fantasizing about. I guarantee it. Please read the reviews of NZ Frenzy North Island to see what travelers think of my info. Are you going to NZ to be a tourist at touristy crowded places or do you want to find the "Real" New Zealand that you'll tell stories about?? When you have an NZ Frenzy in hand, you'll leave the other guidebooks in the glove box and you'll leave the tourists behind!! The South Island has natural wonders beyond compare, but the mainstream media only promotes the commercialized stuff. Don't waste your precious time while in NZ waiting in line at the tourist visitor centers...get NZ Frenzy and go experience the Real New Zealand, the Fabled New Zealand. You can have the trip of a lifetime, you will have the trip of a lifetime!!