The Funniest Text Message Autocorrects, Wrong Numbers & Mishaps on Smartphones!

    In another universe, humanity is overrun by monsters so evil that their very presence dims the light of the stars. In yet another universe, humanity is drawn into an endless battle for dominion over the galaxy. This is not one of those universes. In this universe, humanity is in charge of the Galactic Peace Committee. In theory, the Committee is an unmatched force for good, bringing peace and prosperity to countless worlds and ensuring that conflicts between different races are settled with words and not planet-cracking weaponry or super plagues designed to turn everyone into goo. In theory. Jake Smith is a diplomat. He works for the Committee. This is his story – and it goes about as well as you’d expect. In other words, it doesn’t go very well at all. Can Jake survive petty aliens? Sure. He’s a diplomat. It’s all part of the job. What about angry aliens? Probably. He does have a killer robot for a secretary, and he’s not bad with a shock staff. How about a fleet of aliens out for blood? That… that might be a little bit trickier. The Galactic Peace Committee… keeping peace (sort of) throughout the galaxy.

    Whether you're a new visitor to Snap City or a longtime fan of its most famous hero, this 852-page tome is guaranteed to rock your socks off!

    An unmissable must for Tank Girl fans of all hairstyles Dark and nasty, We Hate Tank Girl is a bonanza of stories, posters, prose, and extras, featuring tales from Tank Girl's past, present, and future, including the long-awaited Cut 'n' Dress Booga, and the never-before-seen bonus story, "Small Unit." Collects Tank Girl One-Shots: Dark Nuggets, Dirty Helmets, and Hairy Heroes.

    After abandoning his new home as a lost cause, he's caught up in the poker craze and moves to Atlantic City with a new dream of "playing poker for a living", but soon finds himself stuck in a dizzying spell of bad luck at the card tables. Or maybe he just sucks at poker, like everybody else. His money all gone, and finding that it's actually difficult to drink oneself to death at 1am, he's suddenly offered a chance to make his money back, and then some, by running an underground poker game in New York City. Once in New York, Tim finds himself on the road to recovery and making real money for the first time—but at what cost? We Run Bad offers an authentic and darkly comic look at underground poker culture, while serving up an indictment of post-recession America. Here, every game is rigged, and the only way to come out ahead is to be the one doing the rigging.

    It is where Delta Force operative Zeb Carter meets Mohammed Jama. It will be bloody. 'Up there with Mitch Rapp and Jack Reacher' Somalia in 1993 is witnessing civil war and famine that has left thousands dead and starving. Task Force Ranger, a unit of elite U.S. operatives is in the country to help enforce peace. Delta operative Zeb Carter is deployed along with Task Force Ranger. Zeb has seen death, up close and personal. He has no fear of dying. However, he has never come across someone like Mohammed Jama. Jama, a warlord in Mogadishu, is fast acquiring a cult status for his vicious killing methods and his attacks on the U.N. forces. He loves to inflict death and revels in his celebrity status. He is looking forward to his showdown with Zeb Carter. August 1993 in Mogadishu. It is hot. It is dusty, and dry. It will be bloody. Zulu Hour is the first in the Warriors Series Shorts, a series of short stories or novellas that will feature Zeb Carter and will link to the main Warriors Series thrillers. USA Today Bestselling Warriors Series: The Warrior The Reluctant Warrior The Warrior Code The Warrior's Debt Boxset 1-4 Flay Behind You Hunting You Zero Boxset 5-8

    NOTES ABOUT To Kill a MockingbirdNOT the book To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

    Culling over 300 pages of some of today's most thrilling writers, The Best of 2.13.61 Publications hallmarks our company's ten year existence. Excerpts include new material from Henry Rollins and Hubert Selby, Jr, as well as excerpts from Henry Miller's love letters, Nick Zedd's hilarious nihilistic New York urban spelunkings, Ian Shoales' undeniably witty social commentaries and so much more.

    He's kind to animals, loves children and helps old ladies across the street. But when he gets a pencil in his hands, he becomes a menace. No subject is too taboo. From dead kittens, to Helen Keller, to organized religion, there's no subject he won't twist. Politically correct? Dan Collins doesn't know the meaning.You've never seen cartoons like this before. This definitely isn't the Sunday funnies. Hilarious, demented and guaranteed to have you clutching your navel between gasps for air. Once you get hold of this book, you'll be convinced that this guy needs serious help before he's doomed to an eternity in hell.Check out this collection of insane cartoons and see if you're as demented as Dan Collins. If you find yourself laughing hysterically at some of the most marvelously bent cartoons ever created, plan on joining him on his decent into the inferno.From an early age Dan was heavily influenced by revolutionary comic artists such as Robert Crumb, B. Kliban, Gahan Wilson and Sam Gross. Coming from small town Ohio to Ohio State University in the early, turbulent 70's was a cultural and political awakening for him that would have a lasting impact. The Vietnam War and the counter culture revolution were the back drop from which this small town choirboy 'innocent' would pen his creations. What emerged were some of the most off the wall cartoons ever drawn.

    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Holidays on Ice, Santaland Diaries, Barrel Fever. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Naked, published in 1997, is a collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris. The book details Sedaris life, from his unusual upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, to his booze-and-drug-ridden college years, to his Kerouacian wandering as a young adult. The book became a best-seller and was acclaimed for its wit, dark humor and irreverent tackling of tragic events, including the death of Sedaris mother. Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the NPR program This American Life. About the early life of the Sedaris family, and David's hopes to one day be rich and famous. It is revealed that the family is actually middle class. A description of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive and Tourettic tendencies as a child. His behavior quirks include licking light switches and kissing newspapers, and they frequently land him in trouble at school. These tendencies are abandoned when he begins smoking at college. An account of Sedaris' elderly (and slightly senile) grandmother, known as Ya-Ya. After suffering an injury she is forced to live with his family, resulting in tension for all. Eventually, at the urging of Sedaris' mom (who was against Ya-Ya moving in with the family in the first place), she is put into a low-grade nursing home. When she dies, only his father seems to mourn. A description of events regarding a pornographic book that Sedaris finds when he is a child. The book is passed between his siblings, and eventually confiscated by his mother, who in turn reads it. A description of...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=89168

    Wodehouse novels and story and article collections, with active table of contents. Illustrated with 10 unique illustrations.The Adventures of SallyThe Clicking of CuthbertThe Coming of BillA Damsel in DistressDeath At The Excelsior, and Other StoriesThe Gem CollectorThe Girl on the BoatThe Gold BatThe Head of Kay'sIndiscretions of ArchieThe Intrusion of JimmyJill the RecklessThe Little NuggetThe Little WarriorLove Among the ChickensA Man of MeansThe Man Upstairs and Other StoriesThe Man With Two Left Feet And Other StoriesMikeMike and PsmithMy Man JeevesNot George Washington, An Autobiographical NovelPiccadilly JimThe Politeness of Princes and Other School StoriesThe PothuntersA Prefect's UnclePsmith in the CityPsmith, JournalistRight Ho, JeevesSomething NewThe Swoop! or How Clarence Saved EnglandTales of St. Austin'sThree Men and a MaidUneasy MoneyThe White FeatherA Wodehouse Miscellany, Articles & Stories

    Get to know the man behind the apron strings, the misunderstood mixologist with the gold-plated heart, as he dispenses advice to drunks like it was Duff on draft, recommends some of his signature (and watered down) drinks like the Moe-jito, tries out a pick-up line or two, dreams of actually getting a date, dishes a little on his acting career, and counts his blessings (like babysittin' Maggie Simpson) that make life worth livin' for at least one more day.

    A chronicle of the adventures and misadventures of the Doonesbury character, Uncle Duke, in trouble spots throughout the world, is accompanied by a five-inch action figure complete with cigarette holder, Uzi, martini glass, and bourbon bottle.

    History has no record of him. There is a moral in that, somewhere.""The problem with being a pain in the ass is that you never quite know who's trying to get you.""Why do people keep insisting that I join the 21st Century? I *LIVE* in the 21st Century! I just don't want to be bothered by the shitheads on the internet!""I have no mouth. And I must scream.""I think love and sex are separate and only vaguely similar."

    Meet Judge Death, a warped ghoul from a parallel Earth where life itself is a crime. An entire world was judged, found guilty and its citizens executed. Now it's our turn. Judge Death comes to Mega-City One, and somehow Dredd must kill a creature already dead. And if one of these Dark Judges wasn't enough, get ready to meet Fear, Fire and Mortis! Featuring work by fan favourite artist Brian Bolland (Batman: The Killing Joke, Camelot 3000)!