Entering a world of mysterious powers and nightmarish consequences, Chris realizes the secret belief of every teenage boy- that his wang has the power to change the world. The Monkey's Penis is the third installment in the terrifying Shingles series, and once again readers with weak hearts or bladders are advised to read on at their own risk...

    At least, that's what her cards tell her and they've never been wrong. She's evicted from her apartment, loses her job and is banned from Beverly Hills. So when the tarot cards predict her imminent demise, she uses a little magic to make her world right.Suddenly, an aunt she's never met dies, leaving Mara as her sole heir. But when Mara moves into her inherited home, she discovers Aunt Tillie never moved out. She's still one pissed-off old lady, even post-mortem, and she blames Mara's magical meddling for her death.When Mara accidentally releases a demon and awakens the spirit of the most powerful witch in history, Tillie's ready to kill her -- literally. It's the only way she can think of to save the girl from herself. The witch and the demon, however, have other plans for Mara's body.

    Brownstone books 13-18 (including Vax Humana, One Epic Ring, Spontaneous Justice, Shadow of the Ring, The Horsemen Gather, War of the Four Worlds)Vax Humana: James was raised by some good men. What would have happened if twisted cultists like the Brotherhood had found him instead of Fathers McCartney and Thomas? It's time to find out more about the Unbelievable Mr. Brownstone.James isn't from Earth or Oriceran. Where he is from has been a question for years.Will we find out now, or will those who seek to kill what James can become win in the end? One Epic Ring: “But you haven’t taken brain damage. I don’t want to have to take the time to get to know you again. The first time was exhausting enough...” Brownstone accepts a simple job and pisses off the most dangerous criminal in LA.Shay is approached by a powerful billionaire, one who knows her past.Now, Brownstone is ready to provide a beat down, but Shay is asking him for help. Does he stay in LA or fly (something he doesn't like to do) to Cambodia? Spontaneous Justice There is nothing to fear but the Vax Forerunner himself. Or is that something only aliens fear? Brownstone is at to a fever pitch to understand Shay and create something epic, so he makes a decision to ask someone hundreds of years old.The fight of his life and for his life is about to occur. Will he have a future when all is said and done? Shadow of the Ring James achieved something epic with his proposal. Now it is Shay’s turn. In planning the wedding, the tomb raider soon finds she sympathizes with what James had to go through. How does someone top something so special?The world’s mightiest class-six bounty hunter believes he’s conquered his amulet. The symbiont’s dark whispers no longer push him out of control, but a new enemy has decided LA should be his stomping grounds and threatens to break through James’ hard-earned discipline. The Horsemen Gather Barbecue is life.  Everything else is just details.With his life settling into a comfortable routine and the criminals of Los Angeles finally accepting his power, James ponders a future of family and food rather than kicking bounties through walls.  Can a bounty hunter be happy as a pitmaster? James’ idle thoughts of retirement are put on hold when a rogue group of government agents decides to go after the man they feel is the greatest threat to the country.  War of the Four Worlds The government and the underworld have finally learned their lesson about not taking on James Brownstone, but some enemies will never learn.  Some enemies can only be destroyed. James and Shay’s wedding is fast approaching, as is the bounty hunter’s semi-retirement. He’s ready to replace butt-kicking with barbecue, convinced he can have a life filled with something other than constant violence.

    . . .Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around--until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them one hundred dollars to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley.But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg. Seems someone's out to drive Loretta from the diner, and more than willing to raise a little hell on earth if that's what it takes. Before Duke and Earl get to the bottom of the diner's troubles, they'll run into such otherworldly complications as undead cattle, an amorous ghost, a jailbait sorceress, and the terrifying occult power of pig Latin.And maybe--just maybe--the End of the World, too.Gory, sexy, and flat-out hilarious, Gil's All Fright Diner will tickle your funny bone--before ripping it out of its socket!

    Dave. So, we're pretty much doomed.The Chronicles of Dave collects two great Dave Hooper adventures in one volume. In A PROTOCOL FOR MONSTERS we get the real story of Super Dave's embiggening, not the drunken, drug addled lies he told us in EMERGENCE. And in A SOUL FULL OF GUNS we learn the origin story of the only human being capable of kicking Dave's ass – the super-powered Colonel Karin Varatchevksy. Sent by the Russian military to spy on the US, she might he only thing that saves it from the worst superhero ever.If you love your fantasy action ludicrously violent, and your heroes hilariously flawed, this collection is for you.

    Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort.One fateful night – different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful – Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world, a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to “survive.” Because even after it’s over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.

    Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his boss's pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jean's goons. Now there's only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond high priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells. Here is a brazen, ingenious, irreverent, and wickedly funny novel from a modern master of the outrageous.

    Which is making life for the Ministry of Occultism difficult, because magic is supposed to be their best kept secret.After centuries in the shadows, the Ministry is forced to unmask, exposing the country's magical history - and magical citizens - to a brave new world of social media, government scrutiny, and public relations.On the trail of the killer are the Ministry's top agents: a junior operative with a photographic memory (and not much else), a couple of overgrown schoolboys with godlike powers, and a demonstrably insane magician.But as they struggle for results, their superiors at HQ must face the greatest threat the Ministry has ever known: the forces of political correctness....Differently Morphous is the latest and greatest tale to emerge from the mind of writer (and narrator) Yahtzee Croshaw.

    Victor Frankenstein brought his notorious creation to life, but a horrible turn of events forced him to abandon it and slip away from the public eye. Two centuries later, a serial killer is on the loose in New Orleans, gruesomely salvaging body parts from each of his victims, as if trying to assemble a perfect human being. Detective Carson O’Connor is cool, cynical, and every bit as tough as she looks. Her partner, Michael Maddison, would back her up all the way to Hell itself–and that just may be where their new case leads. For as they investigate the strange killings, O’Connor and Madison find themselves drawn into a weird underworld of deception and secrets where a man named Victor Helios has created an entire race of perfectly engineered people who are meant to take humankind’s place one day. But something is happening to some of Helios’s creations, and it may be that this bizarre serial killer is the least of the detectives’ worries.From the masterly pen of New York Times bestselling author Dean Koontz–and featuring an adaptation by legendary comic book writer Chuck Dixon and gorgeous illustrations by acclaimed artist Brett Booth–Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein: Prodigal Son is a story filled with fast-paced action, gripping horror, and thrilling adventure.

    During the reign of King Stephen laws were lax, and landowners exacted high tithes from peasants forced to hand over their produce or face torture. One sector in society however, did not have to pay, and those were the monks. A fact which enraged local tyrant, Baron John Rivers. Today, nearly 900 years later, the forest village of Monkspike sits brooding. There is a sickness here passed down through ancient lines, one which is noted and deeply felt by Sybil Massey, the new psychologist. What is wrong with nurse, Belinda Sully's, son? Why did her husband take his own life? Why are the old people in Temple Lake Nursing Home so terrified? And what are the lawless inhabitants of nearby Wolfs Cross hiding? It is a dark village indeed, but one which has kept its secrets well. That is until local girl, Kezia Elwyn, returns home as a practising Satanist, and resurrects a hellish wrath no longer containable. Burdo, the white monk, will infect your dreams....This is pure occult horror and definitely not for the faint of heart...

    step in . . .For more than fifty years, the country has been affected by a horrifying epidemic of ghosts. A number of Psychic Investigations Agencies have sprung up to destroy the dangerous apparitions.Lucy Carlyle, a talented young agent, arrives in London hoping for a notable career. Instead she finds herself joining the smallest, most ramshackle agency in the city, run by the charismatic Anthony Lockwood. When one of their cases goes horribly wrong, Lockwood & Co. have one last chance of redemption. Unfortunately this involves spending the night in one of the most haunted houses in England, and trying to escape alive.Set in a city stalked by spectres, The Screaming Staircase is the first in a chilling new series full of suspense, humour and truly terrifying ghosts. Your nights will never be the same again . . .

    Psychopath, Elvin Hayes was convicted and executed for the presumed murders. He went to his grave with the secrets of what happened to the children dubbed The Silent Six. Thirty years later, the six are no longer silent. A curse has been summoned. The children have come home to play a demonic game called The Mayhem. Detective Kim Strode must find out who conjured The Mayhem before it destroys everyone connected to the case. There’s one major problem. Kim is connected. Her father sent Elvin Hayes to the electric chair. THE MAYHEM CHILDREN, a terrifying tale of witchcraft, demons, and revenge, is an ode to classic eighties horror.

    For they are the Keeper and the Seeker, and each year they must quiet the enraged souls of the damned.Only this year, the souls will not be quieted.Ambushed and separated by an ancient evil, the sisters’ journey to find each other sends them far from the only home they’ve ever known. Accompanied by a stubborn imperial guard and a dashing condemned thief, the girls cross a once-empty wasteland, now filled with reawakened monsters of legend, as they travel to warn the emperor. But a terrible secret awaits them at court—one that will alter the balance of their world forever.

    In order to satisfy the terms of her inheritance, Lia is forced to move to the family’s apartment complex in the scenic mountain town of Applebarrow, leaving behind her dead-end job and long-term boyfriend, Jason. While she’s happy to fulfill her Granana’s unusual dying wish to play social director to the eclectic group of tenants, she’s surprised to discover they are not what she was expecting. Her days as an RA in her college dorm were inadequate preparation for personalities such as a jealous librarian who names her Thanksgiving turkeys, a charmingly naive mechanic who thinks New Wave is beach music, and a volatile menopausal woman who claims to be a delicate flower. To add to the mayhem, she meets Logan, an attractive young bartender with a penchant for rescuing her from absurd antics, such as losing her phone to a raccoon and thinking Long Island Iced Teas contain little alcohol. As Jason’s behavior becomes increasingly suspicious and erratic, Lia can’t help being drawn to Logan’s thoughtfulness, wit, and intense blue eyes. As she adapts to her new community, secrets and lies emerge, and Lia wonders what the deceased, AND living, people in her life are hiding. Working to uncover the evidence, Lia hopes a wacky, unexpected visitor from beyond will provide the answers she craves – before she loses her grip on reality, and the love of her life.

     Every teenage girl has a diary in which she vents her frustrations with siblings and parents. But a zombie apocalypse? This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things During the Zombie Apocalypse is a comedic adventure about a teenage girl, her frustrating family, two high-spirited dogs, and a neighborhood of loveable rednecks coming together to survive a zombie outbreak.