When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man


Edward T. Welch - 1997
    Instead of a biblically guided fear of the Lord, we fear others. Of course, the “fear of man” goes by other names. When we are in our teens, it is called “peer pressure.” When we are older, it is called “people-pleasing.” Recently, it has been called “codependency.” With these labels in mind, we can spot the fear of man everywhere. Diagnosis is fairly straightforward. - Have you ever struggled with peer pressure? “Peer pressure” is simply a euphemism for the fear of man. - Are you over-committed? Do you find that it is hard to say no even when wisdom indicates that you should? Are you are a “people-pleaser,” another euphemism for the fear of man ? - Do you “need” something from your spouse? Do you “need” your spouse to listen to you? Respect you? Think carefully here. Certainly God is pleased when there is good communication and a mutual honor between spouses. But for many people, the desire for these things has roots in something that is far from God’s design for his image-bearers. Unless you understand the biblical parameters of marital commitment, your spouse will become the one you fear. Your spouse will control you. Your spouse will quietly take the place of God in your life. - Is self-esteem a critical concern for you? This, at least in the United States, is the most popular way that the fear of other people is expressed. If self-esteem is a recurring theme for you, chances are that your life revolves around what others think. You reverence or fear their opinions. You need them to buttress your sense of well-being and identity. You need them to fill you up. - Do you ever feel as if you might be exposed as an impostor? Many business executives and apparently successful people do. The sense of being exposed is an expression of the fear of man. It means that the opinions of other people — especially their possible opinion that you are a failure — are able to control you. - Are you always second-guessing decisions because of what other people might think? Are you afraid of making mistakes that will make you look bad in other people’s eyes? - Do you feel empty or meaningless? Do you experience “love hunger”? Here again, if you need others to fill you, you are controlled by them. - Do you get easily embarrassed? If so, people and their perceived opinions probably define you. Or, to use biblical language, you exalt the opinions of others to the point where you are ruled by them. THE problem is clear: People are too big in our lives and God is too small. The answer is straightforward: We must learn to know that our God is more loving and more powerful than we ever imagined. Yet this task is not easy. Even if we worked at the most spectacular of national parks, or the bush in our backyard started burning without being consumed, or Jesus appeared and wrestled a few rounds with us, we would not be guaranteed a persistent reverence of God. Too often our mountain-top experiences are quickly overtaken by the clamor of the world, and God once again is diminished in our minds. The goal is to establish a daily tradition of growing in the knowledge of God.

What Every Woman Wants in a Man/What Every Man Wants in a Woman: 10 Essentials for Growing Deeper in Love |10 Qualities for Nurturing Intimacy


John Hagee - 2001
    Throughout the book the authors use their own personalities and experience with marriage to demonstrate how to do marriage right.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond


Patricia Evans - 1992
    You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse--and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior--from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse--and the abuser.This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time!

Red-Hot Monogamy: Making Your Marriage Sizzle


Bill Farrel - 2006
    With their trademark insight, humor, and candid personal perspectives, Bill and Pam Farrel reveal the truths about the sexual relationship in marriage and what husbands and wives need to know to keep the embers burning.Sex is like fireworks!—why a little skill turns marriage into red-hot monogamyHow sex works best emotionally, physically, and physiologicallyHow to avoid the pleasure thieves that steal your chance for fulfillmentThe Farrels present difficult-to-discuss topics and biblical truths in universal language with sensitivity, fun, and understanding.For newlyweds, golden anniversary celebrants, and all couples in between—this book inspires the gift of romance and passion to fuel lives with love.

Letters to My Daughters: The Art of Being a Wife


Barbara Rainey - 2016
    Dismayed by Hollywood depictions of marriage and the seemingly easy solution of divorce, she sees a desperate need for a voice of experience, a mentor who has been there and understands--and can encourage, coach, and care.As her daughters began their married lives, Barbara wanted to share with them, and now you, some of the lessons learned throughout her own marriage as well as those gleaned from years of ministry to couples. In these heartfelt, insightful letters, she answers the tough questions and addresses the realities of marriage. Through personal stories--including her own mistakes--and practical advice, Barbara provides the tools and direction to help you become a godly wife and determine your part in achieving a better marriage.

Rocking the Roles: Building a Win-Win Marriage


Robert Lewis - 1991
    Rocking the Roles explains how marriage can be a perfect blend of structure and equality, balance and beauty.Transform your relationship by learning about:• common misunderstandings about marriage• core roles that don’t limit choices• what spouses most need to understand about each other• what submission and authority is and is not• sexualityBuild a marriage on a firm foundation of Scripture, forgiveness, and a healthy understand of who we are in Christ.

The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge


Beatrice Chestnut - 2013
    In this comprehensive handbook, Beatrice Chestnut, PhD, traces the development of the personality as it relates to the nine types of the Enneagram, the three different subtype forms each type can take, and the path each of us can take toward liberation. With her guidance, readers will learn to observe themselves, face their fears and disowned Shadow aspects, and work to manifest their highest potential."

Marriage After God: Chasing Boldly After God’s Purpose for Your Life Together


Aaron Smith - 2019
    Still, so many couples stop short at happy and wonder why they feel unsatisfied. Rather than "you and me against the world," God calls each couple to the rich and meaningful mission of "you and me for the world."Aaron and Jennifer Smith, popular marriage bloggers at HusbandRevolution.com and UnveiledWife.com, transparently share their journey from a marriage in crisis to a marriage built on Christ's redemptive love. Through fresh biblical insight and intimate stories of their own struggles and victories, this book will guide you toward a God-centered, ministry-minded, and thriving marriage. In these pages you will . . .Discover the signature marks of a marriage after GodFind principles for building an unshakable marriage foundationLearn how to let God's story take the lead in your love storyRecognize the tools God has already equipped you with for a missional life togetherFilled with helpful illustrations, this thorough and practical book will empower you and your spouse to dream, decide, and do as you step hand in hand into God's ultimate purpose for your marriage.Your oneness is also meant for witness. God has purposed your remarkable, romantic, and redemptive relationship to be a powerful light to a dark and hurting world. This is your invitation to marriage as God intended--a life-saving, hope-inspiring, and transforming force of God's love.

For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards


Jen Hatmaker - 2015
    People are the best and worst thing about the human life.Jen Hatmaker knows this all too well, and so she reveals how to practice kindness, grace, truthfulness, vision, and love to ourselves and those around us. By doing this, For the Love leads our generation to reimagine Jesus' grace as a way of life, and it does it in a funny yet profound manner that Christian readers will love. Along the way, Hatmaker shows readers how to reclaim their prophetic voices and become Good News again to a hurting, polarized world.

Dating with Pure Passion: More than Rules, More than Courtship, More than a Formula


Rob Eagar - 2005
    Rather than looking to people to meet needs only God can fulfill, readers will learn how to let Christ's sacrificial love ignite within them a passionate desire to share His love with a special person.This practical guide includes plenty of suggestions for establishing successful dating relationships anddealing with the pressure to get marriedexperiencing healing for past hurtsfinding and attracting mature singles to datechoosing whom to marryresisting sexual temptationEach chapter concludes with a personal Bible study as well as group discussion questions, making this a valuable resource for private devotions, small groups, or premarital counseling.

Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother


Carolyn Mahaney - 2003
    The feminine virtues described in Titus 2 have transformed her life and the lives of countless other women. This book will show you the appeal of being a woman who lives for God and helps others do the same.

Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs for


Sharon Jaynes - 2005
    Sharon Jaynes, author of The Power of a Woman's Words, shares the unique, God-blessed role you can play in making your marriage the joy of both your lives.A happy marriage takes work, but the end result is worth it. Chapters that look at what you can do and who you are as a wife will encourage you to... pray life-changing prayers be his best cheerleader help ease his stress safeguard your marriageinitiate intimate friendshipYour position in your husband's life is absolutely unique. Make it powerful. Make it special. Make it something he longs for.

How to Develop Your Family Mission Statement


Stephen R. Covey - 2001
    This family mission statement kit will help you: Unite your family around a common sense of purpose and mission Develop more patience and the capacity to solve problems proactively Strengthen you children and family members in a turbulent world Eliminate ineffective family habits Transform family life from a desperate, miserable, day-to-day grind to a family life rich with meaningful relationships

Marriable: Taking the Desperate Out of Dating


Hayley DiMarco - 2005
    Newlyweds Hayley and Michael DiMarco share from personal experience and practical observation to help adult singles uncover and eliminate desperate dating habits.

Getting the Love You Want Workbook: The New Couples' Study Guide


Harville Hendrix - 2003
    The book introduced thousands to their Imago Relationship Therapy, a unique healing process for couples, prospective couples, and parents, and developed into an overnight sensation. For their part, Doctors Hendrix and Hunt managed to aid scores of couples in their plight for more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. Now, more than a decade later, this companion book picks up where its predecessor left off, delving further into relationship therapy to help transform relationships into lasting sources of love and companionship. The Getting the Love You Want Workbook is designed for the hundreds of thousands of couples who have attended Imago workshops since Getting the Love You Want hit bookstands, as well as new and curious ones seeking a practical route back to intimacy and passionate friendship. The workbook contains a unique twelve-week course (The New Couples’ Study Guide) designed to help work through the exercises published in Part III of Getting the Love You Want. For those of us struggling to maintain our most precious relationships, the Getting the Love You Want Workbook helps us grow aware of our individual, unconscious agenda while steering us towards a more harmonious link with our loved ones that will satisfy our deepest needs.