Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching.

    Throughout the course of human history, this partnership deepened from dogs doing a service into friendship. Dogs have been by our side through it all, and this book tracks our common story from wild wolves in ancient civilizations to modern-day breeds, highlighting famous pooches of the past and present along the way.

    Dog Shaming:now for Cats! Cat Shaming is a humorous book filled with pictures of unapologetic, darling cats that are being shamed for their misdeeds.What happens when your cat makes a mistake like ruining something valuable or going outside the litter box?  You can't ground or take away their allowance when your cat gets in trouble.  So what is the next best thing?  Cat Shaming!  Cat Shaming is a hilarious collection of photos from owners who express their frustration when their furry best friend does something bad.  Millions of cat owners can relate to the antics of these felines while the picture shows a shamed but adorable, innocent looking kitty.

    Be Very Afraid.From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover:- How to Perform an Exorcism - What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer - How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff - How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll - How to Survive an Alien Invasion - How to Tell If You've Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movieand much, much more. Complete with useful instructions, insane illustrations, and a list of 100 important films to study, How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for prom queens, jocks, teenage babysitters, and anyone employed by a summer camp.

    Prior to making the author’s acquaintance, he is a fiercelyindependent, nameless Cat About Town. Growing tired ofhis vagabond lifestyle, however, he concludes that theremight be some appeal in giving up his freedom for a home.Finally, a house materializes that does seem acceptable andso do the voices that inhabit it. It is here that he begins histransformation into a genuine Fur Person. Sarton’s book isone of the most beloved stories ever written about the joysand tribulations inherent in sharing one’s life with a cat. It isnow reissued in a gorgeous edition featuring David Canright’sbeautiful illustrations.

    This satisfying, perfectly executed picture book has something to say to readers of all stripes and all ages.This title has Common Core connections.

    We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, “What the hell is wrong with Florida?” Somehow, the state’s acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Sure, there was the 2000 election. And people seem to take their pants off for no good reason. And it has flying insects the size of LeBron James. But it is a great state, and Dave is going to tell you why. Join him as he celebrates Florida from Key West at the bottom to whatever it is that’s at the top, from the Sunshine State’s earliest history to the fun-fair of weirdness and gunfire (“Our motto: ‘Come back! We weren’t firing at you!’”) that it is today.It’s the most hilarious book yet from “the funniest damn writer in the whole country” (Carl Hiaasen, and he should know). By the end, you’ll have to admit that whatever else you might think about Florida—you can never say it’s boring.

    Kliban’s Cat, All I Need to Know I Learned from My Cat, and Bad Cat, comes a new book that answers the question all cat lovers ask: How do I make my cat like me?97 Ways to Make a Cat Like You is the perfect interactive guide to these mysterious, fickle, seemingly aloof—yet really, just particular—pets. Paired with a full-color photograph of friendly, extroverted, happy cats (in case you’ve forgotten what a cat looks like when he “likes” you), the 97 inspired, occasionally silly but always behaviorally-based tips and tricks prove that when a cat is treated right, he or she will respond in kind. Within reason. There’s the “Eye on the Ball”—record a tennis match or a Ping-Pong game on TV to play back for your cat when he needs a bit of exercise. “Cat Burrito”—wrap your cat in a towel, burrito-style, which is particularly good for anxious pets or trips to the vet. The “Boing, Boing!”—wind pipe cleaners around a pencil in a spiral shape to create springs. Carefully slide off the pencil so the spirals go “boing” when pressed. The classic “Tickle, Tickle”—tickle Kitty under her chin and softly say “gitchy, gitchy, gitchy” in your highest-pitched voice. And for the cat owner willing to go the distance, the “There’s No Business Like Show Business”—practice your best Ethel Merman by belting out favorite show tunes for your cat. Kitty won’t care if you’re off-key and she’ll enjoy the stimulation.

    The following are some items you will need for Kitty's bath: one bathtub, plenty of water, dry towels, a suit of armor, a letter to your loved ones, clean underwear (because stressful situations can cause "accidents"), an ambulance in your driveway with the engine running, and, oh, yeah, you'll also need Kitty…but good luck with that! Since its publication in 2005, BAD KITTY has captured the hearts of cat lovers and haters alike. This time Kitty is at her worst in this riotous how-to guide filled with bad smells, cautionary tales of horror, and hopefully by the end…some soap. The funniest of any of Kitty's adventures, though don't tell her that.

    Have you ever wondered how expensive a jar of honey would be if a minimum wage for bees applied, or whether a dog cares what's on television when they sit next to you?This book pairs the sweet and sad facts of animal life with their imagined thoughts and reactions.

    Playful categories including "bowties," "surprise!," and "happy cats" showcase all the charm and delightful quirks of the wide world of cats. This is a gift that will have feline fans smiling in recognition, surprise, and appreciation.--chroniclebooks.com

    But the dot, though perfect in every way, only had eyes for a wild and unkempt squiggle. All of the line's romantic dreams were in vain, until he discovered...angles! Now, with newfound self-expression, he can be anything he wants to be--a square, a triangle, a parallelogram....And that's just the beginning!First published in 1963 and made into an Academy Award-winning animated short film, here is a supremely witty love story with a twist that reveals profound truths about relationships--both human and mathematical--sure to tickle lovers of all ages.

    He'll take really good care of it! What's the matter--don't you want him to be happy?The latest book in the best-selling Pigeon series is the funniest one yet.

    No series skewers pop culture and politics with more effective wit and wisdom than South Park—from dysfunctional family life to bad manners to the entire country of Canada, for the residents of this tiny town, no subject is sacred or taboo!A regular ratings monster and Emmy-winner, South Park is also an unlikely source of advice on all facets of life. Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny along with the rest of the town offer hilariously twisted insights and questionable counsel on topics such as teamwork, spirituality, and the opposite sex. South Park Guide to Life is a much anticipated collection of colorful illustrations and original lines from the show. Great for grads and fans alike!

    Schulz has been cartooning for an astonishing 50 years (the "Peanuts" strip itself debuted October 2, 1950, but he drew an earlier incarnation called "Li'l Folks" before that). Peanuts: A Golden Celebration is a remarkable collection of strips spanning that time period. Readers get to see the first appearance of Linus, Marcy, Pigpen, and Woodstock, and even the momentous first time Lucy holds a football for Charlie Brown to kick. Schulz comments on the cartoons and his inspirations via notes in the margin, ranging from boyhood stories about his father (a barber, just like Charlie Brown's) to an account of the time the narcolepsy experts at Stanford University expressed concerns over Peppermint Patty's constant sleeping in class. One of the most interesting inclusions is that of several letters of complaint, ranging from readers whose religious sensibilities have been offended to a 1969 missive from Schulz's own syndicate asking him not to depict Franklin in the same school as the white students anymore. Naturally, the much-loved "Peanuts" holiday specials are covered, as is the musical adaptation You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, but it's the strips that really make the book. Readers can follow the evolution of Schulz's drawing style--deliberately less realistic as the years went on--and even check out a few panels drawn by Schulz's own cartooning heroes. This is a terrific compilation that serves well both as a chronicle of popular culture and as just a really funny collection of comic strips. Don't wait for the Great Pumpkin to bring you one. --Ali Davis