Tired of his laddish lifestyle, he's redecorated the spare room, traded in his beloved sports car for a 4x4, and even drawn up a list of his favourite baby names. In fact, there's only one thing left he's got to do - find a female who'll have his child. But where on earth is he going to find a woman who meets his exacting standards? Certainly not in the usual bars and clubs he frequents. But Will has a plan - you can find everything else on the Internet these days - so why not someone to start a family with? From Friends Reunited, through the weird world of online dating, even to auctioning his 'services' on Ebay, Will's journey to paternity is a hilarious romp through the pitfalls of procreation. But when push comes to shove, is Will prepared to trade passion for Pampers? What do men really look for when it comes to starting a family? Can the perfect mother also be the perfect partner, or are there more important things than a nice-fitting pair of genes?

    But when old Smiler takes a seat beside him, sucking in pint after pint through his gingery whiskers, a whole new world of battles and bones opens up before him…H. E. Bates – a prolific English novelist and short story writer – wrote 'Castle in the Air' for The Evening News in 1957, but the story was never re-printed in any of his later collections. In fact, its existence was forgotten until 2013 when it was spotted accidentally during a rummage through a newspaper archive. On re-discovering this charming and humorous short story – which exemplifies H.E. Bates's great skill of drawing vivid characters and his ability to create an almost tangible sense of a place – Bates's descendants felt it had to be shared with a wider audience.Bloomsbury Reader is delighted to be re-publishing 'Castle in the Air' alongside the whole body of H. E. Bates's short fiction and novellas, and here we offer it as a free taste of Bates's irresistible writing.

    Her honest, hilarious and moving account of the whys and hows of having a baby makes perfect reading for expectant mothers and fathers everywhere, as well as those who've been there, done that, and wonder how on earth they did.In this very funny book she writes candidly about her own personal experience exploring the decision to have a baby when she doesn't even like them, the importance of cheese during pregnancy, why she took hair straighteners to the labour ward, plus the apocalyptic newborn days, childcare, work and the inevitable impact on life and love and most importantly, her breasts.

    From the quintessential 1960s poems ‘Let Me Die a Youngman’s Death’ and ‘Summer with Monika’ to the recent tender poems of fatherhood, this collection shows exactly why Roger McGough is one of our most celebrated poets.”

     Do you constantly get anxious about your health and seek reassurance? Have you found yourself analysing every single sensation in your body? Are you spending time on the internet always looking for answers? Do you have heart palpatations that make you think you're having a heart attack? Does that impending heart attack give you a panic attack? Are you still not dead? You can rest assured it's not just you! Philip Martins was once a hypochondriac and has survived, among other things, cancer, motor neurone disease, meningitis, multiple sclerosis and having been bitten by a mosquito once, malaria. In this book he tells you how he got through his years of health anxiety, provides some anecdotes of his crazier times to cheer you up and gives you some tips all in the hope that it can bring a little relief to help you realise you're not alone. If you have health anxiety and are looking for something to relate to then this is the book for you.

    Apparently it’s fine for Scrimshaw Travel to make last minute amendments to the holiday without incurring any penalties or reducing the price in any way. That’s what the indifferent courier tells him on day one of the tour as she arrives in a clapped-out, old coach being driven by a partially-sighted driver. With the spa hotel replaced by a rundown guest house staffed by a neurotic manager, decrepit waitress and under-sexed, Italian waiter there doesn’t appear to be much of the brochure-described holiday left. Thank goodness for Angela, the rather lovely woman Derek pals up with on the journey down. She might just make the trip bearable. If only the other members of the group would leave them alone long enough to get to know each other, but Derek has always had the ability to attract the eccentric characters to him and he can’t escape them. Still, perhaps they’ll surprise him as he learns about their lives and secrets as they move from one hilarious excursion to another. And maybe Angela will provide one or two surprises herself. Driven to Distraction is a fun romp through the English countryside with characters finding love and friendship while travelling at twenty miles an hour. (Well, it is a clapped-out, old coach).

    writes with humor, dripping Southern charm that you can’t miss.” (The Greenville Examiner). A collection of short stories from the author of Sean of the South, and Lyla. Columnist, humorist, and novelist, Sean Dietrich, is known for his commentary on life in the American South. In his newest work, Small Towns, Labradors, Barbecue, Biscuits, Beer, and Bibles, he delivers a set of quirky tales filled with smiles and a hefty dose of heart.

    . .Then Titus is arrested and sent to prison for attending a Reform meeting. Jennet is left to fend for herself and things go from bad to worse as she finds herself pregnant and alone – with another man’s child . . .

    Everything Mark's not, Paris is a man of the world with a thirst for adventure - even his name is better than Mark's.But after a catastrophic argument, Mark finds himself setting off alone on his voyage, instead emailing an unresponsive Paris from the road. A cocktail cruise on the Seine, mindful pastry making in Foix, a graffiti tour in Barcelona: Mark will be forced to engage with life and strangers as he never has before, with poignantly recognisable results.But questions remain: will he ever be able to have an authentic interaction? Will Paris ever reply to his emails? And crucially, will he manage to write SEO friendly copy for every place he visits?After all, it's not the destination that counts: it's the homes and experiences you encounter along the way.

    A farce with a hilarious drunk scene for two stylish comediennes.

    The social whirl may be dizzying but there are pitfalls aplenty and Millie knows that the whole world is just waiting for her to do something scandalous. She's just that sort of girl. Fortunately, there are people who need rescuing, days that need saving and dark and brooding barons that need taking down a peg or two, so life isn't utterly dreary. Can she do the impossible and come through unscathed? Or will disaster finally catch her up? Whatever happens, Millie is determined to do things on her terms and if that means tackling the impossible; well, she's just the kind of girl who likes a challenge! Author note... well, putting up a book where the first two pages missed editorial changes was a bit of a clunker, but I have remedied (my profound apologies to anybody who bought the one with the dodgy first pages). I am happy to send a - relatively - flawless copy to anybody who has already purchased. Please email me at kate.l.deans@gmail.com. Gosh, I'm a goose!

    But what happens when the credit crunch bites, you’re desperate for another baby and your Asian neighbour is trying to match-make you with her infatuated son?

     Adam and Polly Fitch face a bleak future after being sold for just five shillings to Miss Reed's orphanage by their bullying father. Missing their mother Minnie, and their three brothers still at home, they know they must stick together to survive. But the orphanage does have one advantage – a merry band of children who soon form their own kind of family – and they're all determined to escape the clutches of the wicked Miss Reed. Adam decides to survive he'll need to fight, so he sneaks out to have boxing lessons with the famous pugilist Billy Marshall. Lessons he needs sooner than he expects when his beloved sister Polly is sold to the rich Bellamy family, and Adam decides to go to her rescue. Can Adam, Polly and their band of friends survive life with only each other to rely on, and will they ever have the happily ever after they so long for...

    The weekend is never a mild-mannered affair as fan club rivalries bubble below the surface, but tensions reach new heights when a second Crabbe devotee is found murdered. Though the police are quick to arrive on the scene, the facts are tricky to ascertain as the witnesses, suspects and victim are all dressed as Miss Cutter. And they all want to solve that crime too . . .

    The story is basically one long chase, chiefly after two naughty grocer's assistants who, when their master goes off on a binge with a new mistress, escape to Vienna on a spree. "While preserving the beautiful intricacies of this construction, Stoppard has embellished Razzle with a dazzle of verbal wit an unremitting firework display of puns, crossword puzzle tricks and sly sexual innuendos." London Daily Telegraph . "Apart from Jumpers and The Importance of Being Earnest there may be no script in English funnier than On the Razzle." London Observer.