Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission


Gloria G. Brame - 1993
    While the topics are exotic and erotic, the authors handle each one in a sensitive, thorough, analytical, and fascinating way and manage to explain a secret world to those who might wish to visit.

Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook


Michael Makai - 2013
    The definitive handbook on Domination and Submission (D/s) relationships and the BDSM lifestyle. A must-read for anyone considering or curious about non-traditional relationships within a fetish culture context. Funny, insightful, educational, and inspiring. Author Michael Makai goes in-depth on Dominants, submissives, switches, primals, and their relationship dynamics. Learn about BDSM activities, bondage, toys, groups, protocols, and safety. This book even dares to go where others fear to tread: The Gorean subculture, online D/s & BDSM, first meetings, religion vs. kink, and what could go wrong. You'll love Michael Makai's irreverent and humorous treatment of this subject as he gives you the benefit of his 35+ years of experience in the D/s and BDSM lifestyles. (Paperback, 496 pages)

The Heart of Dominance: A Guide to Practicing Consensual Dominance


Anton Fulmen - 2016
    If you are new to dominance, still figuring out just what it’s all about or what you want it to mean to you, then this book will provide you with a solid foundation from which to start. If you already practice dominance and are interested in improving your ability to create deep and lasting power dynamics then you’ll find many advanced concepts and concrete techniques to integrate into your own personal style. What consensual dominance means here is any kind of intentional, mutually desired, mutually fulfilling exercise of power and control between partners. There are a lot of different kinds of connections that fit that broad definition, and the fundamental principles that this book explores can be applied to any of them. So it should be just as valuable whether you practice dominance in occasional intense evenings within an otherwise egalitarian relationship, in a full-time power exchange relationship, in long distance or online relationships, in pick-up play with strangers at BDSM clubs, or anywhere else. This book also doesn’t assume that you fit any stereotype about what a person who dominates should look or act like. It looks at dominance as a practice -- as something that any person can learn to do, rather than something that some people are -- and it is meant for anyone with a desire to learn to practice dominance well. It is written to be accessible to absolute beginners, as well as to switches and primals and tops and mommies and daddies and bigs and masters and trainers and Goreans and heads-of-house and owners and label-defying powerplayers. (And don’t worry if you have no idea what any of those labels means – dominance has nothing to do with labels.) If you have an interest in the bedrock principles of inspiring, deepening, maintaining and enjoying control over a person who dearly, desperately wants you to control them, then this book is for you.

Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities


David M. Ortmann - 2012
    While misunderstandings surrounding these communities prevail, BDSM sexuality cuts across race, gender, nationality, and sexual orientation. BDSM describes forms of sexuality that incorporate restraint, pressure, sensation, training, and elements of both erotic and non-erotic power exchange between the engaged parties. Some BDSM "scenes" include role-playing, spanking, blindfolds, ropes, and erotic costuming. Sexual Outsiders is designed as a guide for BDSM community members who must wade through the quagmire of unique problems they face: coming out to family, friends and partners; distinguishing abusive relationships from healthy consensual ones; finding and developing community; overcoming shame and denial; exploring whether BDSM sexuality can be a healing tool; gaining access to quality, culturally competent psychotherapy; and finding strategies to develop a healthy sexual self-esteem in the face of current medical and social standards that view them as sick or pathological. The book also serves as an educational primer for those whose partners, friends, and family members are involved in BDSM. In terms of challenges faced by BDSM communities, the most significant is living with a stigmatized sexuality shame, prejudice, discrimination, isolation, depression, and a lack of adequate, competent mental health care. Issues such as coming out as a sexual minority, finding community and partners, and dealing with scenes and relationships that go wrong are some the common experiences shared by members of BDSM communities. Sexual Outsiders employs common sense, good humor, and vivid anecdotes while incorporating basic ideas about human behavior, psychology, philosophy, interviews, history, and clinical case studies to illustrate the real lives and experiences of men and women in BDSM communities. Anyone wanting to learn more about this unique, and more-common-than-you-think expression of sexuality, will find in these pages insight into the various challenges BDSM practitioners face, and the many strengths that people in the BDSM communities have developed in the face of social stigma and prejudice.

How to be a Healthy and Happy Submissive


Kate Kinsey - 2014
    Whether you want to explore your own submissive fantasies, or you're just curious about what BDSM is really like, this book will answer all your questions, plus some you didn't know you had. Erotic author Kate Kinsey ("Red," and "The Totally Uncensored Kinky Adventures of Chloe St. Claire, Sex Slave") brings over a decade of experience as a submissive and kinky educator to this practical step-by-step guide to being a healthy and happy submissive. Topics covered include: the differences between dominants and masters, submissives and slaves, and tops and bottoms; the different dominant styles; the truth about "training" to be a submissive; how to find like-minded folks in your area; how to negotiate scenes and relationships; what to expect at your first dungeon party; why some people actually enjoy pain; and the warning signs to look out for when talking to potential partners. "Kinsey has written a no-nonsense guide that thoroughly explains the various kinks and fetishes that come under the umbrella of BDSM. Most importantly, she emphasizes the importance of protecting yourself along the way with knowledge, friends and self-awareness." "This is not fiction, but reality. Kate Kinsey has the experience to tell it like it is, not the way some vanilla writer imagines it to be."

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction


Jay Wiseman - 1992
    More and more people are experimenting with this exciting , consensual form of erotic play. SM 101 is your basic guidebook to safe rewarding SM. This book includes: finding partners, negotiating the scene you want, bondage techniques, spanking and whipping, erotic torture, role playing, related practices, physical and emotional safety. Must read book.

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism


Philip Miller - 1988
    We made it light-hearted and fun to read because SM is fun to do. That's why we do it. But fun is only SM's overture; for those who grasp its message, SM is sexual magic. The right blend of trust, fantasy, and sensuality creates an intensely erotic and deeply intimate stew. We take away our lovers' freedom and lead them to profound liberty. We peer into the dark together, transforming it to light. In these pages you will find clear explanations for the curious, and solid advice, safety measures and steamy suggestions for the adventurous. Allow us to guide you through the captivating realms of sensuality, dreamed of by millions, realized by few, and understood by fewer still.

The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage


Midori - 2001
    Now, accomplished Japanese-born pro-domme and bondage practitioner Midori shows step by step how to achieve beautiful and exciting Japanese bondage on a variety of genders and body types.Each chapter starts with a spectacular, tasteful full-color photo of the finished bondage pose -- harnesses, hogties, standing and bent-over poses, and more -- then goes back and explains with text and line art how each rope and knot is placed to achieve the final result. Readers can use the detailed instructions to experiment safely and erotically with their own partners -- or simply enjoy viewing the pictures of Midori's expertise.

Dom's Guide To Submissive Training: Step-by-step Blueprint On How To Train Your New Sub. A Must Read For Any Dom/Master In A BDSM Relationship


Elizabeth Cramer - 2013
    It is a finely crafted and designed system of expectations and joys. In order for you and your submissive lady to “fit” one another and create a lasting, happy union there must be a period of training.It does not matter if your sub has thirty years of experience in submission or just read 50 Shades of Grey and decided to try it herself. She will need to be trained for the best relationship to emerge."Dom's Guide to Submissive Training" was specifically written for doms/masters. It is designed to provide you with a step-by-step blueprint on how to train your new sub. It goes from preparation all the way down to the closing ceremony including advanced techniques & tips. Training can be one of the most exciting, challenging and fun parts of the relationship. A well-trained sub will not only serve you in the capacity you deserve, but will have built up the two most important elements in any BDSM relationship – trust and consistency. Following the instructions in this guide will allow you to show yourself as a worthy master, who is in control, experienced and able to guide you both to the best possible life.

A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting


Deborah Addington - 1997
    Now, for the first time, an experienced fister and fistee explains in detail how to fist with the greatest possible safety and pleasure. Extensively illustrated, this long-awaited guide by Deborah Addington has been approved by three fisting-positive physicians and by many experienced practitioners. Also includes an eye-opening section of anecdotes and poetry by fisting-lovers, plus an extensive resource guide. A must-have "handbook" for the sexually explorative!

Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century


Barbara Carrellas - 2005
    With a juicy mix of erotic how-to and pleasure-centered spiritual wisdom, acclaimed sex educator Barbara Carrellas radically updates the ancient practice of Tantra for modern sexual explorers desiring to push past their edge in search of the great cosmic orgasm.With more than one hundred easy-to-follow techniques for expanded orgasmic states and solo and partner play (as well as more adventurous practices), this in-depth guide reveals the delicious worlds of ecstasy available to all, including:The Erotic Awakening Massage • Breath and Energy Orgasms • Twenty-Minute Tantra Evolutionary Selfloving • Sex and Healing • Tantric BDSMNo matter what your gender, sexual preference, or erotic tastes, URBAN TANTRA will expand your notions about pleasure and open you up to new heights of intimacy and sexual fulfillment.

BDSM 101


Reverend Jen - 2013
    Jen has been coaching her readers on all sex-related matters through her articles in Penthouse and posts on Nerve, an online magazine. A self-proclaimed authority on the subject of sex (and specifically BDSM), Jen spent her early twenties working as a professional submissive at a swanky Manhattan dungeon before becoming a sex surrogate for a renowned therapist.In BDSM 101, Jen shares rare insight into this oftentimes misunderstood world. Practical instructions are given on:Safety and communicationBondage, spanking, floggingFetishes, humiliation, dirty talkAnd more!Included are steamy, sometimes ridiculous anecdotes from Jen’s past, interviews with her wacky artist friends, and basic illustrations. According to the author, “This book is what would happen if Marquis de Sade, Andy Warhol, and Dorothy Parker got together and made a nymphomaniac Bride of Frankenstein.”Useful, entertaining, and written with rare candor, BDSM 101 is a book that can offer spark to the fires of love in any relationship.

Whip Smart: A Memoir


Melissa Febos - 2010
    In poetic, nuanced prose she charts how unchecked risk-taking eventually gave way to a course of self-destruction. But as she recounts crossing over the very boundaries that she set for her own safety, she never plays the victim. In fact, the glory of this memoir is Melissa’s ability to illuminate the strange and powerful truths that she learned as she found her way out of a hell of her own making. Rest assured; the reader will emerge from the journey more or less unscathed.

Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes: A Step-by-Step, Illustrated Guide for Tying Sensual and Decorative Rope Bondage


Two Knotty Boys - 2006
    D., began teaching rope bondage together in 1999, they discovered that most people learn best when they're shown — close up, step by step, and repeatedly — how to tie basic knots and combine them into bondage techniques. It is this learning process that they duplicate in this book. With the help of world-renowned photographer Larry Utley, they use over 750 photos and captions to explicate the soup-to-nuts techniques for turning great knots into great bondage that is safe, sensual, attractive, and effective. Readers can learn at their own pace, review whole techniques at a single glance, or even lay it flat on the table (beside their blindfolded partner) and follow along as they tie. Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes appeals to those interested in improving the quality of their sex lives, not to mention aficionados of bondage and discipline/sadomasochism (BDSM), both curious newcomers and serious players alike.

Sensuous Magic: A Guide for Adventurous Lovers


Patrick Califia-Rice - 1993
    Sensuous Magic has the answers. Writer, therapist, and sex radical Patrick Califia-Rice has updated his classic introduction to S/M and power play to embrace couples of all persuasions and at every stage of experience. Although not a comprehensive technical guide (you will need a book on rope bondage, for instance, if you want to learn appropriate knots and techniques), Califia-Rice's text offers insightful warnings, advice, and commentary, the kind of guidance you might expect from a seasoned mentor. It is especially well-suited to daring beginners, who can learn the basics on safety and communication, while being titillated by more advanced topics like whip selection and master/slave contracts. --Regina Marler