And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    However, when James Aden takes up the position of Deputy Agent he does not realise the full extent of what the job entails.He finds himself spending his days negotiating with royalty, farmers, and even wildlife, as well as the imperious Lady Leghorn. In order to survive, James must come to terms with his role quickly, and not let himself get too distracted by Sophie, the pre-college assistant.

    Witty and unexpected, this collection of customer reviews is sure to show you a new, hilarious, and completely candid side of Amazon products and reviews you never knew existed.

    Dale Comstock is a Delta Force Operator - a member of America's secret army; the most enigmatic and combat tested elite counter-terrorism unit in the world. In his action packed story we journey with him from boyhood to manhood into a world of extreme violence where he learns the values of hard work, sacrifice, and love of family. As he succeeds and fails as a Delta Force Operator, Green Beret, husband and father, he elevates the meaning of being an American to being an American Badass.

    This daily reader contains inspirational quotations from Overeaters Anonymous literature along with the experience, strength and hope of Overeaters Anonymous members.

    Cate Sevilla is insightful, inventive and so supportive' Viv Groskop 'Entertaining and practical; moving and funny and, most importantly, a helping hand from someone who's been through it' Emma Gannon, Sunday Times bestselling author 'A timely and provocative book that is at once empathetic about the challenges work presents and empowering on how to overcome them' Bruce Daisley, author of The Joy of Work Bosses are maddening. Colleagues are profoundly irritating. And balancing family and work is daunting. So how do we balance success with sanity? How do we progress without burning out? Whether you're drowning in a toxic working environment, battling burnout, recovering from redundancy, or just struggling to figure out what you actually want from your career, Cate Sevilla is here to help coach you through the shittiness of your work day, and help you shift your relationship with your career.Having worked at giant corporations like Google (where her days consisted of aggressive bosses, complimentary pastries and lots of tears) and scrappy start-ups like The Pool (where she was Editor-in-Chief when it all went pear-shaped), Cate Sevilla has laboured through a lot of stressful and downright ridiculous work situations so that you don't have to. Drawing from lessons learned in her career and interviews with other women, How to Work Without Losing Your Mind is a relatable and reassuring guide to the messy, stressful and sometimes bizarre side of work that everyone experiences but no one talks about. It'll be your tonic after a long, hard working week, where you've ugly cried with your colleagues and are exhausted from endless video calls - and are wondering what the hell to do next.

    In How to Be Idle, Hodgkinson presents his learned yet whimsical argument for a new, universal standard of living: being happy doing nothing. He covers a whole spectrum of issues affecting the modern idler—sleep, work, pleasure, relationships—bemoaning the cultural skepticism of idleness while reflecting on the writing of such famous apologists for it as Oscar Wilde, Robert Louis Stevenson, Dr. Johnson, and Nietzsche—all of whom have admitted to doing their very best work in bed.It’s a well-known fact that Europeans spend fewer hours at work a week than Americans. So it’s only befitting that one of them—the very clever, extremely engaging, and quite hilarious Tom Hodgkinson—should have the wittiest and most useful insights into the fun and nature of being idle. Following on the quirky, call-to-arms heels of the bestselling Eat, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation by Lynne Truss, How to Be Idle rallies us to an equally just and no less worthy cause: reclaiming our right to be idle.

      As the nation’s iconic calendar, the 2020 edition will forecast cultural, culinary, and other life-changing trends; preview notable astronomical events; provide time- and money-saving tips for gardeners of all varieties; set the hook for best fishing days; forecast traditionally 80 percent–accurate weather; and cover a range of related topics, including anniversaries, folklore, husbandry, home remedies, recipes, amusement, contests, and more—too much more to mention—all in the inimitable way it has done since 1792.

     CollegeHumor.com is the National Lampoon of its generation. Since its creation in early 2000, the Web site has grown to become the nation’s most recognized comedy brand for young people. With eight million unique visitors a month, quarterly revenues surpassing $1.2 million, and a successful line of merchandise (from T-shirts to novelties)—not to mention a deal with Paramount to create and brand movies with CollegeHumor’s imprimatur—CollegeHumor is truly a franchise in the making. The CollegeHumor Guide to College is a laugh-out-loud depiction of the college experience. Written primarily by two of CollegeHumor’s most popular columnists, Ethan Trex and Streeter Seidell, this guide features all-new material not found on the Web site. It also includes helpful advice—the kind you probably won’t hear from a college counselor—on an array of subjects, such as food, clothing, parents, dating, sex, drinking, and roommates. Filled with outrageous illustrations, this edgy and irreverent book will be indispensable to all present and future undergraduates.

    Whether you are looking to rev up your real estate business, deciding whether to specialize in commercial or residential real estate, or just interested in refining specific skills, this book is for you. This no-nonsense guide shows you the fun and easy way to become a successful real estate agent. It provides expert advice on acquiring the skills needed to excel and the respect and recognition you'll gain through making sales and generating profit. Soon you'll have all the tools you need to:Prospect your way to listings and sales Build a referral-based clientele Work with expired and FSBO listings Plan and host a successful open house Present and close listing contracts Market yourself and your properties online and in print Negotiate contracts and avoid derailment Stake your competitive position Achieve excellent relationships with clients Spend less time to earn more money This guide features tips and tricks for working with buyers, must-haves for a successful real estate agent, and common pitfalls that can be avoided. Also included is a list of Web sites for real estate agents that are valuable resources for success. With Success as a Real Estate Agent For Dummies, you'll discover how to acquire key skills and get on track for a successful career!

    Some mammoths were smaller than children. Owls are the dumbest birds in the world. Very few people with Tourette's syndrome swear. You can't get a six-pack from doing sit-ups. King Arthur's sword wasn't called Excalibur. Milk doesn't make your bones strong. There's no bones in your fingers. The Bible states that humans can't become angels. Humans have more than two nostrils. It's impossible to slide down a bannister. At a wedding, the bride doesn't walk down the aisle. Ties were invented for war, not fashion. Most Disney classics made almost no money. Slavery has only been illegal in the UK since 2010. George Washington wasn't the first American President. Velcro doesn’t exist. Nobody knows why we sleep.

    No human being who stood on her decks that fateful night was alive to commemorate the event on its 100th anniversary. Their stories are with us, however, and the lessons remain. From the moment the world learned the Titanic had sunk, we wanted to know, who had survived? Those answers didn’t come until the evening of Thursday, April 18, 1912―when the Cunard liner Carpathia finally reached New York with the 706 survivors who had been recovered from Titanic’s lifeboats. Harold Bride, “Titanic’s surviving wireless operator,” relayed the story of the ship’s band. “The way the band kept playing was a noble thing. I heard it first while still we were working wireless when there was a ragtime tune for us. The last I saw of the band, when I was floating out in the sea with my lifebelt on, it was still on deck playing ‘Autumn.’ How they ever did it I cannot imagine.” There were stories of heroism―such as that of Edith Evans, who was waiting to board collapsible Lifeboat D, the last boat to leave Titanic, when she turned to Caroline Brown and said, “You go first. You have children waiting at home.” The sacrifice cost Evans her life, but as Mrs. Brown said later, “It was a heroic sacrifice, and as long as I live I shall hold her memory dear as my preserver, who preferred to die so that I might live.” There was mystery. There was bravery. There was suspense. There was cowardice. Most men who survived found themselves trying to explain how they survived when women and children had died. But mostly, there was loss. On her return to New York after picking up Titanic’s survivors, Carpathia had become known as a ship of widows. Rene Harris, who lost her husband, Broadway producer Henry Harris, in the disaster, later spoke of her loss when she said, “It was not a night to remember. It was a night to forget.” Drawing on a wealth of previously unpublished letters, memoirs, and diaries as well as interviews with survivors and family members, veteran author and writer Alan Rockwell brings to life the colorful voices and the harrowing experiences of many of those who lived to tell their story. More than 100 years after the RMS Titanic met its fatal end, the story of the tragic wreck continues to fascinate people worldwide. Though many survivors and their family members disappeared into obscurity or were hesitant to talk about what they went through, others were willing to share their experiences during the wreck and in its aftermath. This book recounts many of these first-hand accounts in graphic, compelling detail.

     Does the thought of flying fill you with dread? Do panic attacks leave you feeling scared and vulnerable? If so, this book could change your life. Written by top flying experts from British Airways' 'Flying with Confidence' course, this reassuring guide explains everything you need to know about air travel alongside techniques for feeling confident and in control from take off to landing. In easy-to-follow sections, you'll learn how to recognise cabin noises, manage turbulence and fly in bad weather conditions. As your knowledge grows, so will your confidence, with the fear of the unknown removed.

    

    Because a pair of drawstring sweatpants could bring about your most embarrassing moment. And a toothpick in your sandwich can be the deadliest of weapons. Including hundreds of bizarre-but-true things that can get you, this compact volume will induce nervous page flipping and make even the most snug and secure folks bonafide paranoiacs. Chilling black and white photographs document the everyday items that menace your safety. But whether it's archibutyrophobia (the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth) or phobophobia (the fear of fear itself) that eventually gets you, don't be afraid to buy this book. You never know what might happen to you if you don't.