He has spent six years living the quiet life in the suburbs after losing his job as Lord of Hell and now he thinks it’s time to indulge in all that life has to offer. Whether it’s dating the older woman, demonstrating supreme loyalty to his local coffee shop or fighting the scourge of the lollipop lady, Clovenhoof knows how to enjoy himself to the fullest. Join Clovenhoof as he continues his year-long journey to tackle the big issues in life.

    But what if one man decided to use a social network for one of the most idiotic causes in human history? Join the hopeless and brain damaged Andy Boring in his quest to FILL THE GRAND CANYON AND LIVE FOREVER!!!!

     THE STICK WOMAN - Priscilla has been held hostage, physically mutilated, and fed feces for years. And her situation is about to get much, much worse. SHIT-HOUSE - How bad is the world around you? How much worse could it get? How far would you go to fix it? THE USHERS - They are always there - somewhere in the background and just out of sight. A force of violence and lust. They are the ushers... THE SEA-SLOP THING - June needs a new job - and she's found it, along with something from the deepest depths of the sea.

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    Sainsbury. Two short, punchy, action-packed episodes in each book.They murdered his parents, shot him in the head, and left him to die. They should have made sure.Twenty years after Tom Lewis watched his parents die, those responsible are being killed. One by one.Gentle, brain-damaged Tom, a giant of a man who can barely speak, can’t be responsible for their deaths. Can he?When Tom Lewis was shot, something new was created. Something unique. Something deadly. Something patient enough to plan revenge for twenty long years.Meet Bedlam Boy

    Each story is unique in its own personal experience and has been told to the author, Selinda Hart. Having worked as an investigator and as a researcher for the paranormal radio show “Tia Maria” she has brought together some of the best hauntings, accounts of paranormal mysteries, and true ghost stories in this collection. The sixteen stories in this book include diverse paranormal phenomenon and unexplained mysteries set in different locations in the United States, and one compelling frightening story from Spain. As one former skeptic reports from his scary experience, “I was never a believer in the paranormal and I thought ghosts were simply a figment of someone's overactive imagination. I no longer scoff at people who claim to see ghosts. I never found out who or what was haunting that house. But I wasn't going to stay and find out.” “The House off Greenville,” “Red Balloon,” “Ghost in the Bedroom,” and “Who’s been playing with my kids?” are real stories about events and paranormal activity that took place in the Dallas house where the author lived in as a single mom for over five years. Her children are grown now, but to this day they do not like talking about the strange activity and events that took place in that house. If you like reading scary stories, paranormal mysteries, and unexplained phenomenon, then “True Ghost Stories” will leave you with chills. So snuggle up, get under the covers and get ready for some serious goose bumps!

    These two stories are perhaps even better known as films (The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock and Don't Look Now by Nic Roeg), but here we bring you the full terrifying texts, superbly read by Peter Capaldi, who brings the true dimension of these works to the imagination.

    This time there are no suave, wise-cracking good guys, no humorless, drug-addled bad guys. The story I want to tell you is all about how I learned to sleep at night, to close my eyes without seeing cold places and dead eyes… how I dragged whatever was left of me up out of the dark, finally. That’s the story I want to tell, because that’s the story I need to hear. I want to know how it ends..."Returning to normal life after his dark days in the depths of the Jianghu hasn't been easy for Randall Lee. With big changes coming in his future, though, Randall offers to help rehabilitate an injured friend, only to find that the need for healing goes far deeper than he ever expected. Bridging the events of Jianghu and the upcoming Randall Lee Mystery, The Art of War, Eating Bitter is a quiet story of resilience and perseverance, punctuated with Randall's trademark humor and self-deprecation.

     (No previous DEAD CLOWN BARBECUE reading experience required.) This 21,000-word collection contains the first-ever publication of "Gave Up The Ghost," the basis for the horror/comedy short movie directed by Gregory Lamberson, that will appear in the upcoming anthology film CREEPERS. In addition to a report from the movie set, this collection contains... "The Car." A pair of vampires get together for an evening of vicious fun. "The Loneliest Jackalope." Bunnies with antlers! You can't go wrong with bunnies with antlers. "Inside the Boxes." Whatever is in there can't be good... "A Bit of Christmas Mayhem." Andrew Mayhem vs. a trio of axe-wielding Santa Clauses. "Scrumptious Bone Bread." It's not just for giants anymore. "A Flawed Fantasy." Sometimes, two girls at once isn't the best idea. "Tin Cans." What will you hear when you put one to your ear?

     Eve is an 18,000 word novella originally published as an ongoing story on Reddit's Writing Prompts forum by user /u/psycho_alpaca.

    

    Rowling (the HARRY POTTER series), Darren Shan (CIRQUE DU FREAK), R.L. Stine (the GOOSEBUMPS series), and Stephen King (IT)! Volume Three in the PETER AND THE MONSTERS series! Follow the adventures started in PETER AND THE VAMPIRES (Volume One) and PETER AND THE WEREWOLVES (Volume Two)!Tragedy has struck Peter’s best friend Dill. In his effort to help, Grandfather might have actually made things worse. But help is on the way in the form of a new ally, and important information surfaces that might explain the Curse now haunting Peter and his family. In this volume, Peter battles more supernatural mayhem, including:A scientist who pieces together a family of monstrous creations…A pack of small creatures that kill the local baker, and plan to make Peter their next victim…Peter’s own dark side, which rears its ugly head in a violent rampage…A mysterious ‘snow demon’ out of Native American legend that menaces Peter on a ski trip…And a couple of ‘walking dead’ who try to put Peter in the morgue during a visit to the hospital. The PETER AND THE VAMPIRES series is for teens and adults who, when they were kids, were looking for stories that kicked butt. The protagonist might be young, but the stories are dark, funny, and edge-of-your-seat suspenseful.PETER AND THE FRANKENSTEIN is the third in an ongoing series that includes PETER AND THE VAMPIRES (Volume 1) and PETER AND THE WEREWOLVES (Volume 2). This book is 150,000 words (450+ pages) and contains some mild language, violence, and scary situations.

    Some of the stories share settings and characters with Slaughtermatic. All the stories are bursts of ferocious energy, fast and furious as punk-rock songs and about as subtle. The plotting is not complex (sometimes it's little more than the setup for an O. Henry twist), but the ideas are clever, the anger is justified, the prose is imaginative, and the dialogue is sharp (though the hard-boiled metaphors are occasionally overcooked to incomprehensibility). Toxicology is a potent, poisonous, post-cyberpunk cocktail of ultraviolence and outrage with a splash of Burroughs, a dash of Ballard, and a twist of Dick. Three quick tastes: In "Gigantic," the media turns an astrophysicist forewarned of alien invasion into just another crackpot tabloid-TV guest. In "Tail," a hyper-Chandlerian PI follows a suspicious fiancé through a surreal cityscape. And in "The Passenger," a musician attempts to make his unknown band famous via a performance-art plane crash. --Cynthia Ward

    But that was not so about his wit. At times, he behaved as if he had no sense or common knowledge at all. Finally, after a long long wait, he gets married. He gets an invitation from his in-laws place especially for the celebration of Diwali. His father warned him before leaving that he had to behave properly at his in-laws house as he is no more just anybody. On the contrary, he is now their son-in-law. So he must show attitude while being at their place.What happens then……………?

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.