Stories From the Polycule: Real Life in Polyamorous Families


Elisabeth Sheff - 2015
    Just like the molecules that make up all living things, polycules come in diverse forms: large, small, tightly bound, loosely connected, static, ever-changing. How do polycules form, what do they look like, how do they transform through time, and how do they, sometimes, end? The first of its kind, this anthology brings together stories, poems, drawings and essays created by real people living in polycules. Children describe life with more than two parents; adults share what it’s like to parent with more than one partner. We hear from triads, solos, people who have felt polyamorous their entire lives, and people exploring poly for the first time. Some whimsical, some hilarious, some heartbreaking, some mundane, some life-changing—all pieces reflect the diverse reality of polyamorous families.

The Evolution of Beauty: How Darwin's Forgotten Theory of Mate Choice Shapes the Animal World—And Us


Richard O. Prum - 2017
    In the great halls of science, dogma holds that Darwin's theory of natural selection explains every branch on the tree of life: which species thrive, which wither away to extinction, and what features each evolves. But can adaptation by natural selection really account for everything we see in nature? Yale University ornithologist Richard Prum--reviving Darwin's own views--thinks not. Deep in tropical jungles around the world are birds with a dizzying array of appearances and mating displays: Club-winged Manakins who sing with their wings, Great Argus Pheasants who dazzle prospective mates with a four-foot-wide cone of feathers covered in golden 3D spheres, Red-capped Manakins who moonwalk. In thirty years of fieldwork, Prum has seen numerous display traits that seem disconnected from, if not outright contrary to, selection for individual survival. To explain this, he dusts off Darwin's long-neglected theory of sexual selection in which the act of choosing a mate for purely aesthetic reasons--for the mere pleasure of it--is an independent engine of evolutionary change. Mate choice can drive ornamental traits from the constraints of adaptive evolution, allowing them to grow ever more elaborate. It also sets the stakes for sexual conflict, in which the sexual autonomy of the female evolves in response to male sexual control. Most crucially, this framework provides important insights into the evolution of human sexuality, particularly the ways in which female preferences have changed male bodies, and even maleness itself, through evolutionary time. The Evolution of Beauty presents a unique scientific vision for how nature's splendor contributes to a more complete understanding of evolution and of ourselves.

Leather Folk


Mark Thompson - 1991
    This groundbreaking anthology looks at the history of the leather and S/M movement.

Sex


The School of Life - 2017
    Yet nothing could be further from the truth. Despite a veneer of openness, sex remains an extraordinarily complicated business, hard to discuss and surrounded by shame and unspoken desires. This book provides a relief from the loneliness and confusion, explaining how sex truly operates and what it aims at. The book demonstrates that far from thinking about sex too much, we haven’t begun to think about it as deeply as we should.

Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free


Linda Kay Klein - 2018
    Purity rings, purity pledges, and purity balls came with a dangerous message: girls are potential sexual “stumbling blocks” for boys and men, and any expression of a girl’s sexuality could reflect the corruption of her character. This message traumatized many girls—resulting in anxiety, fear, and experiences that mimicked the symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder—and trapped them in a cycle of shame. This is the sex education Linda Kay Klein grew up with. Fearing being marked a Jezebel, Klein broke up with her high school boyfriend because she thought God told her to, and took pregnancy tests though she was a virgin, terrified that any sexual activity would be punished with an out-of-wedlock pregnancy. When the youth pastor of her church was convicted of sexual enticement of a twelve-year-old girl, Klein began to question the purity-based sexual ethic. She contacted young women she knew, asking if they were coping with the same shame-induced issues she was. These intimate conversations developed into a twelve-year quest that took her across the country and into the lives of women raised in similar religious communities—a journey that facilitated her own healing and led her to churches that are seeking a new way to reconcile sexuality and spirituality. Sexual shame is by no means confined to evangelical culture; Pure is a powerful wake-up call about our society’s subjugation of women.

Love Thy Body: Answering Hard Questions about Life and Sexuality


Nancy R. Pearcey - 2018
    A two-time winner of the ECPA Gold Medallion Award, Pearcey has been hailed by The Economist as "America's preeminent evangelical Protestant female intellectual." In Love Thy Body she offers a respectful but riveting exposE of the secular worldview that lies behind trendy slogans and political talking points. A former agnostic, Pearcey is a sensitive guide to the secular ideas that shape current debates. She empowers readers to intelligently and compassionately engage today's most controversial moral and social challenges.In a surprise shattering of stereotypes, Pearcey demonstrates that while secularism promises much, in reality it delivers little. She turns the tables on stereotypes that portray Christianity as harsh and bigoted, and invites a fresh look at its holistic, life-affirming principles: it is a worldview that matches the real world and fits with human experience.All along, Pearcey keeps readers entranced with gripping stories of real people wrestling with hard questions in their own lives--sharing their pain, their struggles, and their triumphs.

Getting It: A Guide to Hot, Healthy Hookups and Shame-Free Sex


Allison Moon - 2020
    In an era of endless crossed signals and heightened awareness of consent and respect, award-winning author and sex educator Allison Moon shows you how to achieve safe and enjoyable encounters by practicing clear communication and consideration of all parties involved--yourself included. Getting It helps you understand what casual sex means for you and offers an instructive and empowering deep dive into how to get it, do it well, and feel great about it every step of the way. And since we're all imperfect, Moon offers guidance for how to gracefully recover when you screw up--or get screwed over. Refreshingly intersectional and respectful, Getting It is an honest guide to understanding the basics of hook-up culture and how to partake.

How to Be an Artist Without Losing Your Mind, Your Shirt, Or Your Creative Compass: A Practical Guide


JoAnneh Nagler - 2016
    Author JoAnneh Nagler wants you to welcome your creativity and continue to make art—but to do so with a plan. In this groundbreaking book, she provides step-by-step strategies to teach writers, sculptors, painters, musicians, designers, and other artists how tohave a well-supported, well-lived life—and make art at the same time.Learn how to:Answer your own artistic callings and get to your art workGive up starving and struggling and build a supported, creative daily lifeManage time, money, and day jobs with easy-to-learn, simple toolsDevelop rock-solid creative work ethics and motivational skillsNo matter what kind of creative person you are, this book has the tools you need to live the life you’ve always wanted to live—right now, and for your whole life long.

Understanding Asexuality


Anthony F. Bogaert - 2012
    Thus, asexual individuals do not find (and perhaps never have) others sexually appealing. Some consider asexuality as a fourth category of sexual orientation, distinct from heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bisexuality. However, there is also recent evidence that the label asexual may be used in a broader way than merely as a lack of sexual attraction. People who say they have sexual attraction to others, but indicate little or no desire for sexual activity are also self-identifying as asexual. Distinct from celibacy, which refers to sexual abstinence by choice where sexual attraction and desire may still be present, asexuality is experienced by those having a lack of sexual attraction or a lack of sexual desire. More and more, those who identify as asexual are coming out, joining up, and forging a common identity. The time is right for a better understanding of this sexual orientation, written by an expert in the field who has conducted studies on asexuality and who has provided important contributions to understanding asexuality. This timely resource will be one of the first books written on the topic for general readers, and the first to look at the historical, biological, and social aspects of asexuality. It includes first-hand accounts throughout from people who identify as asexual. The study of asexuality, as it contrasts so clearly with sexuality, also holds up a lens and reveals clues to the mystery of sexuality.

To Love and Be Loved


Sam Keen - 1997
    Like a fresh wind, Sam Keen sweeps away tired self-help nostrums and reams of "bad advice from Dr. Lonelyhearts" to reveal a stunningly new map of love in all its forms. Love is not something we "fall" into, claims Keen, but a complex art combining many skills and talents that take a lifetime to learn fully. At the center of his book are sixteen distinct "elements of love": ranging from attention--a precious gift we can bestow on co-worker, friend, child, and spouse alike--to more exclusive gifts like desire and sexuality. Combining stories, poems and quotes with insights from modern psychology and spiritual tradition, Keen brilliantly explores the elements of memory and solitude in love, the importance of both enjoyment and commitment, and how we can cultivate the essential qualities of empathy and compassion. Each piece ends with suggestions for strengthening our daily practice of the element, so that we constantly enlarge our ability to love in all our relationships. The final section of the book is a soaring meditation on the claim that "those who love know God," an invitation to experience our place in the universe through the eyes of love.From the Hardcover edition.

Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love


John M. Gottman - 2019
      Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort—and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on forty years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams.   Interactive activities and prompts provide motivation to stay open, stay curious, and, most of all, stay talking to each other. And the range—from the four skills you need for intimate conversation (including Put Into Words What You Are Feeling) to tips on being honest about your needs, while also validating your partner’s own emotions—will resonate, whether you’re newly together or a longtime couple looking to fortify your bond. You will discover (or rediscover) your partner like never before—and be able to realize your hopes and dreams for the love you desire and deserve.

How to Think More About Sex


Alain de Botton - 2012
    By examining sex from a subjective perspective, he uncovers new ideas on how we can achieve that balance.

Sex and Punishment: Four Thousand Years of Judging Desire


Eric Berkowitz - 2012
    However, that's not to say that the Sumerians, Victorians, and every civilization in between and beyond have not tried, wielding their most formidable weapon: the law. At any given point in time, some forms of sex were condoned while others were punished mercilessly. Jump forward or backward a century or two (and often far less than that), and the harmless fun of one time period becomes the gravest crime in another. Sex and Punishment tells the story of the struggle throughout the millennia to regulate the most powerful engine of human behavior.Writer and lawyer Eric Berkowitz uses flesh-and-blood cases—much flesh and even more blood—to evoke the entire sweep of Western sex law, from the savage impalement of an Ancient Mesopotamian adulteress to the imprisonment of Oscar Wilde in 1895 for "gross indecency." The cast of Sex and Punishment is as varied as the forms taken by human desire itself: royal mistresses, gay charioteers, medieval transvestites, lonely goat-lovers, prostitutes of all stripes, London rent boys. Each of them had forbidden sex, and each was judged—and justice, as Berkowitz shows, rarely had much to do with it. With the light touch of a natural storyteller, Berkowitz spins these tales and more, going behind closed doors to reveal the essential history of human desire.

How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful


Linda J. MacDonald - 2010
    However, most betraying spouses are completely unprepared for the ensuing tumult, emotional roller-coaster, and trauma reactions by the injured partner. They often make terrible mistakes in their efforts to calm their spouses and stop the earthquake that has shaken their marriages to the core, inadvertently hastening the path to divorce. As an infidelity specialist for 23 years, Linda J. MacDonald has identified certain behaviors on the part of unfaithful spouses that determine the success or failure to save their marriages. "How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair" provides a practical road map for unfaithful spouses who wish to have another chance with their partners. Find out for yourself what the difference is between those who blow up their marriages in the aftermath of affairs and those who successfully manage to repair and rebuild their marriages into better-than-ever relationships. “I regularly provide copies of How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair to my clients who are facing this challenge. Unanim-ously they report, ‘That [book] was very helpful.’ I notice they continue to use it. I believe the expanded version will be even more helpful.” —Earl D. Wilson, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist, Portland, OR Author of Steering Clear, and coauthor of Restoring the Fallen“Your material on helping spouses heal from an affair was absolutely excellent. I have counseled for twenty-five years and found it well-done, balanced, and accurate.” —Jim Velez M.S., M.A., L.P.C., Portland, Oregon

The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them


W. Anton - 2010
    This is why guys that read it don't read or recommend anything else. Because the few men who "get it" spend the rest of their lives enjoying sexy girls in abundance - and so can you.You can learn to get ANY girl you want, the same way that all men who are naturally good with women have. The only difference is that you may learn it much FASTER, instead of wasting tons of time and money on fruitless dates or a new car/haircut/shirt that you BELIEVE will make you more attractive - but really doesn't.You see; men LACK success with women because they either don't understand what women are attracted to, or because they THINK that they do know, but have the wrong ideas and hence waste a lot of time - sometimes their entire life - chasing things they don't need. You know you have to get this book if you believe women want men with money, cars, or anything else that is manmade, because that doesn't make any sense. If women really were attracted to something unnatural, how did men meet women before any of those things were invented?The approach you'll learn in The Manual is very different from conventional dating and the advice you find in the mainstream media because it focuses on natural attraction - on what women REALLY want - not what they CLAIM they want or what males in general BELIEVE women want. It incorporate men's and women's socialization and explains phenomenas such as why men think women are attracted to things such as money (yet money is a man-made invention that has not even EXISTED very long) and why women "play hard to get" (a well-known phrase which amusingly reveals that women ARE easy but only pretend not to be).This is why the beginning of the book addresses your basic beliefs and mindset, because if you learn to THINK correctly, you will automatically behave correctly around women. Even if they are so stunning they normally take your breath away, your mind goes blank, and you run out of words.You already have what it takes to seduce women. Like, if you never run out of words around your close friends or family, you should be able to talk to a hot girl without making a fool out of yourself. The reason you seem to be a different person in such situations is because you ARE - you are NOT being yourself! You act differently because you were socialized to sabotage yourself. The Manual teaches you how to unlock your true potential and to bring out the real you - not change you into someone you are not.The method presented to get girls works on all women, no matter what language they speak, how young they are, or what type of relationship you might be looking for. It's universal because it's based on natural attraction, what all women are hardwired to respond to, and attraction is an emotion, not a decision.You can use it to get a sexy girlfriend, one night stands or even long-term relationships. You can use it to find true love, a soul mate, or just casual sex without commitment. And one of its best benefits is that it will make women want to be with you and appreciate you. The girls you get will REMAIN attractive even after you have formed a sexual relationship with them, because they are so happy to be with you. While most other guys who do get (average) girls, often find themselves with an average female who becomes even less attractive over time as she stops taking care of herself completely.All other dating books simply repeat conventional wisdom that doesn't work very well in reality, and even the best ones are about ACTING like an attractive man, not on how to BECOME one. But the problem is if you go around acting like someone besides yourself, even if you do start getting girls, it's not really YOU who are getting them. The Manual will show you how to get laid like a rock star, without being one, and without pretending to be one e