Damon Runyon Omnibus


Damon Runyon - 1944
    A world of speakeasies and dancing girls where a gambler or bootlegger is perfectly normal and respectable in every way. Those familiar with "Guys and Dolls" know what to expect!

The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book


Tim Vine - 2010
    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

Be a Flamingo & Stand Out From the Crowd


Sarah Ford - 2017
    She is always the first on the dancefloor and the very last to stop boogying. She has never tried to dress like a Parisian, never followed advice on what not to wear, and certainly has never tried to tone down her natural pinkness; she knows he is perfect just the way she is. And even when life throws Flamingo a curveball, she is always ready to embrace the unknown and jump straight in.A gorgeous little gift book of motivational sayings and hilarious axioms, Be a Flamingo is a perfect pink pick-me-up gift for a friend who needs a confidence boost, or great as an impulse self-purchase when you feel you need to start tooting your own horn a little louder. Because we could all do worse than taking a leaf out of Flamingo's book.

Look at My Striped Shirt!: Confessions of the People You Love to Hate


The Phat Phree - 2006
    Observe. Ridicule.You run into them every day—the striped-shirt guy, the karaoke master, the dude with a pencil-thin beard, the guy who won’t shut up about his fantasy football team—characters who annoy, irritate, and incense us all. Based on the wildly popular essay on ThePhatPhree.com by Mike Polk, this book is a look inside the heads of the most infuriating douchebags on Earth. It’s the best of ThePhatPhree.com plus more than fifty all-new, hilarious pieces written by some of your favorite writers from this site.Everyone’s (Least) Favorite, The Striped-Shirt Guy…I will valet tonight! I will treat the valet with contempt and make sure that he knows that I am superior to him. I will tell him, “Take it easy on the brakes, champ”! When I do not hook up with a girl at the club, I will say that the place is “full of skanks” and wait in line at another bar, only to strike out again!Your “Cool” High School Teacher…Here are some things I allow in my class that other teachers don’t: eating, drinking,swearing, dancing, smoking, fighting, cell phones, Texas hold ’em, iPods, and sex. Like my Goo Goo Dolls tee? Anyone else here down with the Dolls? No? Me either. I’m just wearing it as a goof.The Guy with Amazing Taste in Music…Personally, I haven’t listened to the radio in fifteen years. If you have ever heard a band on the radio, then I can assure you, I am not a fan. I stopped listening to American music about ten years ago.

Visions Before Midnight


Clive James - 1977
    It needs flannel in lengthy widths, and it's here that Harry and Alan come through like a whole warehouse full of pyjamas) to the 1976 Olympics ('Jenkins has a lot to do' was a new way of saying that our man, of whom we had such high hopes, was not going to pull out the big one). In between we have 'War and Peace' (Tolstoy makes television history), the Royal Wedding (Dimbling suavely, Tom Fleming introduced the scene), the Winter Olympics (unintelligibuhl), the Eurovision Song Contest (The Hook of their song lasted a long time in the mind, like a kick in the knee. You could practically hear the Koreans singing it. 'Waterloo . . .' ), and much more.

Burning Bridges to Light the Way


David Thorne - 2019
    

No Such Thing as a Snow Day: A Collection of Reader-Submitted Medical Stories


Kerry Hamm - 2019
    First responders share unique baby names, we hear stories about clueless newbies, bitter veterans, and patients with good intentions but bad ideas. We also hear more about the not-so-happy side of this industry. Grab a blanket, a mug of hot chocolate, and cozy up in front of the fire to catch up with submissions from people like you!

Zombie Survival Manual: From the dawn of time onwards


Sean T. Page - 2013
    Accompanied by illustrations, maps, diagrams and step-by-step instructions, this manual will be essential reading for those interested in protecting themselves, their families and society at large from the living dead.

Impossible Things Before Breakfast: Adventures in the Ordinary


Rebecca Front - 2016
    Even the most predictable of us sometimes defy expectations. Other times life plays tricks on us. We find ourselves characters in a farce. As an award-winning actor and comic writer, Rebecca Front has always been fascinated by life's little quirks. Impossible Things Before Breakfast is a collection of true stories about surprising turns of events, bizarre misunderstandings and improbable life lessons. We learn, among other things, how to prepare for a role as a villainous 'she-mountain' when you're five-foot-four, why beach holidays require military-precision planning, and the joys of wearing a cape. Combining elegant writing, wry humour and genuine insight, this brilliant new collection is about lifting the lid on ordinary life and feasting on the impossible.

Sean of the South: Whistling Dixie


Sean Dietrich - 2016
    His humor and short fiction appear in various publications throughout the Southeast.

Small Comforts: More Comments And Comic Pieces


Tom Bodett - 1987
    His commentaries on “All Things Considered” and his radio spots for Motel 6 have delighted millions, but he’s never been funnier than in this, his second collection of casual essays. Here are further musings ont he everyday joys and embarrassments of being a husband, father, citizen, and breadwinner by the author of As Far As You Can Go Without a Passport. Fans will be comforted by the familiarity of this return visit to Bodett country. Those new to his work will discover one of the freshest, friendliest voices among writers of humor today.

Sideshow


Samie Sands - 2018
    What you see isn't always the only thing you receive. Come for the popcorn, the show, and the animals. Stay for the Horror. We insist. Panis Et Poenam by Alex Winck Make My Escape by C.L. Williams SOLD by Katie Jaarsveld Diamonique by Samie Sands Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel by Andrew Darlington Stuff of Dreams by Rick Eddy WONDERLAND by Samie Sands The Freak by Kevin Hall Clown in the Mirror by Katie Jaarsveld Carnival Carnage by Samie Sands

Art's Cello (Kindle Single)


James N. McKean - 2014
    Told in eloquent, honest prose, Art’s Cello is a story about coming to terms with the past and letting go of the failures we allow to define us — and, in the process, honoring the lives of those we’ve lost. Jim McKean is an international award-winning violinmaker, author, and corresponding editor of Strings Magazine. He is a graduate of the first violinmaking school in America and the former president of the American Federation of Violin and Bow Makers. His novel, Quattrocento, was published in 2002. Cover design by Evan Twohy.

Last of the Summer Wine: The Inside Story of the World's Longest-Running Comedy Series


Andrew Vine - 2010
    It premiered 37 years ago, in 1973, and, after 31 series it finally came to an end last year – even though all its original protagonists – Compo, Foggy, even Nora Batty – are now dead. Remarkably, for a series of such longevity and international appeal, it is all about elderly people, has little action or plot, and is set and filmed in and around the small Yorkshire town of Holmfirth. Now, Andrew Vine, the deputy editor of Yorkshire’s daily newspaper, has written the definitive history of this television phenomenon. It covers the show’s inauspicious beginnings, with low ratings, its endless reinvention as participants like Bill Owen, Michael Bates, Brian Wilde and Kathy Staff retired or died, the appearance of a string of guest stars from John Cleese and Norman Wisdom to Thora Hird and Russ Abbott (both of whom soon found themselves fixtures in the cast), and the ingenious plot contrivances as the protagonists became too old and frail to attempt any of the slapstick stunts with runaway prams – indeed any outdoor action. Holmfirth is now a year-round tourist attraction, and endless repeats and new DVD box sets will ensure a readership for this book for years to come.

The Beast in Me and Other Animals


James Thurber - 1948
    The book concludes with a sampling of articles Thurber wrote for the New Yorker’s “The Talk of the Town,” demonstrating his often overlooked skill as a reporter.Mainly men and women : My friend Domesticus --The glass of fashion --Am not I your Rosalind? --The princess and the tin box --How to name a dog --Thix --The waters of the moon --Exhibit X --The lady on the bookcase --The ordeal of Mr. Matthews --The dewey dewey fog --A guide to the literary pilgrimage --Prehistoric animals of the middle west --Here come the tigers --Look homeward, Jeannie --A call on Mrs. Forrester --The beast in the dingle. Less alarming creatures : A new natural history --Extinct animals of Bermuda --A gallery of real creatures. Soapland : O pioneers! --Ivorytown, Rinsoville, Anacinburg, and Crisco Corners --Sculptors in ivory --The invisible people --The listening women