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Kick the Balls: An Offensive Suburban Odyssey
Alan Black - 2008
His experience was not the little league, boys-of-summer stuff of modern America. For him, it was life and death. Now middleaged and living in California, Alan finds himself coaching a team of eight-year-olds in his beloved sport—and nothing is going right. For a start, the kids are no good at soccer. Secondly, they’re pampered. Born and bred on the sport, Black’s hardscrabble Scottish upbringing consisted of playing tough and victory at all costs. Needless to say, his coaching methods are a far cry from the “winning isn’t everything” mentality his little leaguers have been reared with; and players and parents alike are shocked as Black attempts to transform the losing team through drills and bombast. Alone at night, watching evangelicals on TV, Black finds himself searching for some truth in the culture he finds so bizarre. And it’s with the Tigers that he feels most out of sync—faced with a mix of soft suburban children, a raft of overprotective parents, and an Iranian co-coach called Ali. Told with Black’s uproarious Scottish sensibility, Kick the Balls follows the abrasive, irreverent, and hilarious coach as he contends with a team that winds up with a zero-win record. Both a celebration of his own tough childhood and an account of one man’s navigation of an alien culture, Kick the Balls will delight fans of well-told, laugh-out-loud memoirs.
Bear in the Back Seat I and II: Adventures of a Wildlife Ranger in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park: Boxed Set
Carolyn Jourdan - 2014
You'll love seeing Kim and a fellow ranger tested as they bravely take on the task of relocating 77 live skunks by sedating them with darts from homemade blowguns, especially when the pickup truck load of stinkers wakes up while still in transit. An hilarious, heartwarming, and heartbreaking memoir by the chief wildlife ranger in the #1 most popular family vacation destination in the USA, the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. For over thirty years, Kim DeLozier acted as a referee in the wild, trying to protect millions of park visitors from one of the densest populations of wild black bears in America -- and the bears from tourists who get too close. Written with bestselling author Carolyn Jourdan who has several highly-regarded #1 Amazon bestsellers about the Smoky Mountains.
Catification: Designing a Happy and Stylish Home for Your Cat (and You!)
Jackson Galaxy - 2014
Don’t just go to your local pet shop and adorn your home with unattractive cat towers and kitty beds. In Catification, Jackson Galaxy, the star of Animal Planet’s My Cat from Hell, and Kate Benjamin, of the popular cat design website Hauspanther.com, walk readers through a step-by-step process of designing an attractive home that is also an optimal environment for cats.This gorgeously designed, full-color book includes more than twenty fun DIY projects, from kitty beds and litter boxes to catios (cat patios) that will be sure to make readers—and their cats—purr in approval.
On Cats
Doris Lessing - 1967
Her fascination with the handsome, domesticated creatures that have shared her flats and her life in London remained undiminished, and grew into real love with the awkwardly lovable El Magnifico, the last cat to share her home.On Cats is a celebrated classic, a memoir in which we meet the cats that have slunk and bullied and charmed their way into Doris Lessing's life. She tells their stories—their exploits, rivalries, terrors, affections, ancient gestures, and learned behaviors—with vivid simplicity. And she tells the story of herself in relation to cats: the way animals affect her and she them, and the communication that grows possible between them—a language of gesture and mood and desire as eloquent as the spoken word. No other writer conveys so truthfully the real interdependence of humans and cats or convinces us with such stunning recognition of the reasons why cats really matter.
Almost Heaven: Coming of Age in West Virginia
Jerry S. Horton - 2014
A very well written book that will be hard for anyone to put down!This is a must read.Jerry's interesting and riveting account of his childhood years and transition to a young adult and Infantry NCO are truly endearing! His honest and impelling novel reminds one of why we serve, fight, and are willing to lay down our lives for God, Country, and our fellow man. God Bless the Infantryman!!Thank the Lord for Soldiers and West Virginia !This book is a great read. This honest account of growing up in West Virginia and becoming a Sergeant in Vietnam is sometimes thrilling and sometimes heart wrenching. Through a lot of true grit, thank goodness Jerry Horton survived to tell this story. I highly recommend this book. It is a Winner.This is an inspiring memoir written about a young man coming of age in West Virginia in the 1960's. It is a memoir but also a real thriller story as we follow Jerry from the streets surrounding Lincoln playground to Chicago Steel mills to the French Quarter in New Orleans and to San Francisco in the Summer of Love 1967. The book then moves you to the Central Highlands in Vietnam where Jerry is an infantry platoon sergeant. Jerry's interesting and truthful account of his childhood years and transition to an adult and Infantry Sergeant are truly endearing. It is an honest and compelling story. It gives a first person narrative of hand-to-hand combat in the trenches of Vietnam that can leave you scared, glad to be alive and eternally grateful to those who died for our freedom. Jerry joined the army to simply be able to afford to go to college. Forty years later he has a PhD and multiple degrees but they were earned at a heavy price for this patriot. Jerry shares his experiences in Vietnam in an articulate, honest and direct assessment of his time in Vietnam, the men he served with and the horrors of war. It is an incredible story of leadership and survival.We see Jerry develop as a young boy who is very independent and then see him being schooled on the streets of Charleston, West Virginia learning how to come to grips with the breakup and divorce in his family. He takes refuge in becoming the best he could be as a basketball player on the courts of Lincoln playground. Later we see him leaving home for the mean streets of the Chicago Steel mills and then on to Louisiana where he completes one year of college and then goes flat broke. Then the book shifts to New Orleans Louisiana and the excitement of the French Quarter. Jerry's life is rocked by the turbulent waters in New Orleans; he had no money no plan and is drifting. He seeks out another lifestyle in California hitching to and then living in San Francisco during the Summer of Love 1967. He describes how it was, the music and time and place and he takes you there through his vivid descriptions. Once again, his life spins into turmoil and as he tries to get back on the path to achieve his life's dream of going to college he is drafted in the Army. He finds himself becoming a leader, an infantry sergeant. His goal is to bring himself and his men back home alive, the reader gets the sense that all his life Jerry has been prepared for this moment. The reader is taken through and sees through Jerry's eyes what combat is really like.This story covers much ground and has something for everyone. You live through Jerry 's experiences of what it's like to conquer your own demons, you read about his mother's courage having Jerry in the Salvation Army by herself, the excitement and freedom of the 1960's and you learn what it is like to want something so bad you lay your life down for it. It is a book you truly won't lay down once you start reading.
Fly Into the Wind: How to Harness Faith and Fearlessness on Your Ascent to Greatness
Lt Colonel Dan Rooney - 2020
Funny Jokes: 100+ Knock Knock Jokes for Children: Kids Jokes - Knock Knock Jokes - Jokes for Kids
Johnny B. Laughing - 2014
Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body!
KINDLE UNLIMITED & AMAZON PRIME can read this book for FREE!
This books is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home.
100+ knock knock funny jokes
Excellent for early and beginner readers
Hours of fun and entertainment for kids and children
Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud
Funny and hilarious knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults
BONUS INCLUDED --> FREE Joke Book Download
101 Funny Jokes (see link inside)
Download a free joke book with purchase of this book! From this Funny Joke Book... Knock knock!Who’s there?Bless!Bless who?I didn’t sneeze!
LOL!
Knock knock!Who’s there?Auntie!Auntie who?Auntie glad to see me again!
HAHA!
Knock knock!Who’s there?Zeke!Zeke who?Zeke and ye shall find!
LOL!
Knock knock!Who’s there?Arnie!Arnie who!Arnie having fun?
HAHA!
Knock knock!Who’s there?Carl!Carl who?Carl get you there faster than walking will! Best-Selling Author ~ Johnny B. Laughing The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs!WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today!
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Anant Pai: Master Storyteller
Gayathri Chandrasekaran - 2012
Using the comics format he told stories from mythology, history and literature to generations of children.Uncle Pai, as he was known, wanted Indian children to be familiar with their heritage. He believed that it helped build self-esteem and confidence. A chemical engineer by profession, Anant Pai gave up his job to follow his dream, a dream that led to the creation of Amar Chitra Katha and Tinkle.Amar Chitra Katha pays tribute to its creator and traces the story of the man who left behind a legacy of learning and laughter.
Talking to Spirit: How to Become a Medium & Connect with the Afterlife
Emily Stroia - 2015
Bonus FREE gift included with your purchase! What Signs & Signals Spirits Give Spirit loved ones have many ways of communicating with us. In this book you will learn the common signals and signs when a Spirit loved one is trying to communicate with you and how to identify them more easily so you can have faster and easier communication with the beyond. How to Successfully Communicate with Spirit Loved Ones Learn what makes mediumship successful including a method on communicating with Spirit loved ones and several exercises on making contact. You will also learn the importance of sitting with spirit and what to look for in your meditations. How to Become a Medium & Talk to a Spirit Loved One In this book, Emily will teach you all the various methods and details to look for when practicing mediumship and spirit communication. You will learn all the evidence and details to look for when doing mediumship and how to communicate these details to your sitter or receiver. In this book are all the keys to successful mediumship including how to tell the story of your spirit loved ones, interpreting symbols from Spirit, the importance of the message and how to find out what messages the Spirit wants to communicate. You will also learn how to create your own Spiritual Toolbox Kit and how to Set your Intention with the Spirit World. Emily believes we all have an intuition and use it more than we know or are aware of. Learn today how to become more in touch with your inner voice and develop your psychic awareness! About The AuthorEmily is a professional Intuitive & Evidential Medium based in the New York & New Jersey area. She teaches classes, has written several books on psychic & mediumship development available on Amazon for purchase and continues to have private sessions with clients. Visit her website, www.emilystroia.com for more information about her. Scroll up and grab your copy now! Free gift inside with purchase!
Top Gear: The Alternative Highway Code
Ministry of Top Gear - 2010
The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.
The Filthy Truth
Andrew Dice Clay - 2014
When he released his debut album, Dice, in 1989, the parental advisory label simply read “Warning: This album is offensive.” His material stretched the boundaries of decency and good taste to their breaking point, and in turn he became the biggest stand-up comic in the world.In The Filthy Truth, Dice chronicles his remarkable rise, fall, and triumphant return. Brooklyn-born Andrew Clay Silverstein started out at Pips Comedy Club in Sheepshead Bay and eventually made a name for himself a decade later with a breakout appearance on the Rodney Dangerfield HBO special Nothing Goes Right. With that single TV appearance he became the new king of comedy, and Dicemania was born. He was the first and only comedian to sell out over three hundred sports arenas across the country to an audience of more than twelve million people. He was also the first comedian to sell out Madison Square Garden two nights in a row.But Dice’s meteoric rise and spectacular fame brought on a furious backlash from the media and critics. Billboards for his album produced by Rick Rubin and for his movie The Adventures of Ford Fairlane were defaced and ripped down as fast as they were put up. By the mid-nineties, though still playing to packed audiences, the turmoil in his personal life, plus attacks from every activist group imaginable, led him to make the decision to step out of the spotlight and put the focus on raising his boys.The Diceman was knocked down, but not out. Taking inspiration from what Frank Sinatra once told him—“You work for your fans, not the media. The media gets their tickets for free”—Dice is now back with critically acclaimed roles in HBO’s Entourage and Woody Allen’s Blue Jasmine, and is once again playing to sold-out audiences.Filled with no-holds-barred humor and honesty, The Filthy Truth sets the record straight and gives fans plenty of never-before-shared stories from his career and his friendships with Howard Stern, Sam Kinison, Mickey Rourke, Sylvester Stallone, Axl Rose, and countless others.
Last of the Summer Wine: The Inside Story of the World's Longest-Running Comedy Series
Andrew Vine - 2010
It premiered 37 years ago, in 1973, and, after 31 series it finally came to an end last year – even though all its original protagonists – Compo, Foggy, even Nora Batty – are now dead. Remarkably, for a series of such longevity and international appeal, it is all about elderly people, has little action or plot, and is set and filmed in and around the small Yorkshire town of Holmfirth. Now, Andrew Vine, the deputy editor of Yorkshire’s daily newspaper, has written the definitive history of this television phenomenon. It covers the show’s inauspicious beginnings, with low ratings, its endless reinvention as participants like Bill Owen, Michael Bates, Brian Wilde and Kathy Staff retired or died, the appearance of a string of guest stars from John Cleese and Norman Wisdom to Thora Hird and Russ Abbott (both of whom soon found themselves fixtures in the cast), and the ingenious plot contrivances as the protagonists became too old and frail to attempt any of the slapstick stunts with runaway prams – indeed any outdoor action. Holmfirth is now a year-round tourist attraction, and endless repeats and new DVD box sets will ensure a readership for this book for years to come.
Guinea Pigs: The Essential Guide To Ownership, Care, & Training For Your Pet
Kate H. Pellham - 2015
Pellham **Do you own a guinea pig but don’t know the first thing about how to take proper care of it? Are you considering getting one but want to make sure it’s really the best decision for you? Whatever your situation, this book will teach you everything you need to know to make sure you are making the best possible decisions.Taking care of any pet can be a huge responsibility. That’s why it is so important to do your research and really know what you are getting yourself into before you actually commit to owning any pet. Guinea pigs are no exception to this rule. While they are becoming increasingly more common as household pets, guinea pigs are still somewhat exotic and, as a result, most people don’t really know much about exactly what they need.That’s exactly where this book comes in. If you’ve been browsing the animal shelter or pet websites and can’t resist the adorable furry face of those guinea pigs you’ve seen, read this book before you make an impulse decision you might regret.Learn about:•The 10 different breeds of guinea pig you can own as a pet•The pros & cons of owning a pet guinea pig•The supplies you’ll need to provide a proper home for your new pet (and a rough estimate of how much it will cost)•The basic care you will need to provide for your guinea pig•How to train your guinea pig to do cool & useful tricks•A brief overview of how to breed your pet guinea pig and sell the offspringSo get this book and decide if this adorable little creature is the right addition to your home and then learn how you can be the best guinea pig parent there ever was!>>Purchase or Download This Book Today, Available on Kindle & in Print. <<
The Creek Side Bones: Reality is more horrifying than fiction
George Jared - 2017
A friend needed help with his car. What happened to Carl, Lisa, Gregory, and Felicia that night is worse than any fictional horror story you've ever read or seen on the big screen. Little girls should never have to live in a barrel ... Award-winning journalist and best-selling author George Jared takes readers on a gripping and chilling journey with his latest true-crime book, The Creek Side Bones ... Reality is more horrifying than fiction. The book details how the Elliott family in Dalton, Ark., lived in constant fear in the summer 1998. How they met their fates is ghastly. Jared covered two murder trials in connection with the case, and provides his own theories as to how and why the Elliott family was murdered. Four other murder cases are also detailed in the book. Sidney Nicole Randall was a beauty pageant queen, about to enter high school when a monster stole her away in the dark. Bridgett Sellers was a mother of three who vanished without a trace while on a walk down Peace Valley Road. Her fate is incomprehensible. Bob Castleman was a respected attorney and Vietnam War vet until the drugs, murder, a live copperhead snake; Native American artifact fraud consumed his life. The book also includes an update on the unsolved Rebekah Gould case. The 22-year-old college student was murdered Sept. 20, 2004, in Melbourne, Arkansas. There are suspects in the case, but to this day, no one has been jailed for her brutal death. Jared has won numerous first place awards for investigative journalism, feature writing, news stories, and others with the coveted Associated Press Managing Editors and the Arkansas Press Association. His first book Witches in West Memphis ... and another false confession detailed his coverage of the internationally famous "West Memphis Three" case. Three Marion, Ark., teens - Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin, and Jessie Misskelley Jr. - were convicted in the 1993 murders Christopher Byers, Stevie Branch, and Michael Moore. The boys' bodies were found nude and bound in a drainage ditch near their homes one day after they disappeared May 5, 1993. Prosecutors claimed the boys were sacrificed in a Satanic ceremony orchestrated by the convicted. There was only one problem. These three didn't do it. It took nearly 20 years to free them. Jared wrote more stories about the case than any journalist in the world. He was cited in Life After Death, a New York Times best-selling book about the case. He also received credit for in the Academy Award nominated documentary Paradise Lost Three ... Purgatory also about the case. Through the years, the longtime newsman has written thousands of stories on a wide range of topics. Get a copy of The Creek Side Bones today.
The United States of Australia: An Aussie Bloke Explains Australia to Americans
Cameron Jamieson - 2014
Written for Americans, but equally amusing to anyone visiting the shores of the Great Southern Land, this book examines the relationship between Australia and the U.S., including how Australians view their American cousins. The author has plenty of experience of working and dealing with Americans. He is married to an American nurse and has lived his life within the massive cultural influence that America has shared with Australia since the Second World War. The author’s stories are brimming with empathy and jokes for his American audience. The book is written from the opinion of an Aussie Bloke and the easy-to-digest chapters are just long enough to leave the reader smiling and well informed.Topics include Blokes and Sheilas, Bloody Foster’s, Dangerous Creatures, Talking to Dogs, The GAFA, Speaking Strail-yun and Working for the Queen. Confused? You won’t be after reading this book!