Both are pretty easy to put off as they're very expensive and tend to wreck your house.' Stand-up comedian Sam Avery (aka the Learner Parent) started his award-winning blog when his twin boys were born. A million nappies, Peppa Pig episodes and a lot less sleep later, he shares all the lows, highs and hilarious in-betweens of his experiences of first-time parenthood in this, his highly anticipated first book. Sam's honest, messy and laugh-out-loud account of trying for a baby (which transpired to be babIES) and figuring out what to do with them once they arrived - right up to the toddler years of talking, walking and tantrum-ing - will have you crying with laughter between your own nappy changes and nursery runs.

    Carbs Cals

    It is a comedic, self-deprecating, look into the harsh, scary, and often sad world of infertility. Hilariously Infertile will make you laugh out loud while wishing you could have a glass of wine with the author and discuss how you relate to her story is. The author pokes fun at the infertility world, with jokes, such as, equating the constant gynecological exams to her sluttiest days in college, and wondering if her husband will be home in time to stick it (the IVF ass shot) into her butt.We follow the author's journey from trying to conceive on her own, discovering she is infertile, getting pregnant, and then doing it all again for her second child. The entire journey is marked with uproarious scenes that any woman who has ever been to the gynecologist can identify with. At times, the author's candor will surely lead the reader to conclude that the outlandish stories cannot be true. But they are, all of them.Included in the journey is a chapter on being a new mom. This chapter is funny and real. It does not boast about being a parent, to those who still may be on that path; rather, it speaks candidly about the adjustment to a new life that the author worked hard to achieve, via fertility treatments, and yet still was not ready for.There is no filter for the author of Hilariously Infertile. This book tells it like it is, from sex, to infertility, to being a mother and a wife. If you have thought it somewhere deep down inside, this book says it aloud.

    Probing ancient Christian practices for renewal, Almost Holy Mama chronicles one mom's quest to discover an answer to her most pressing question: Can God use the challenges of parenthood to grow your character?You long to spend time with God and catch your spiritual breath, but you find yourself honestly wondering--how and when? Ellis gets its. It's hard to carve out space for a quiet moment with God, let alone a quiet time! Instead of adding more tasks to your plate, Almost Holy Mama will help you integrate your spiritual practices into your daily life. From studying Scripture in the shower to listening in prayer at the foot of Laundry Mountain, Ellis finds that meeting God in sacred disciplines can breathe new life into one of life's most joy-filled and trying seasons.Paperback, 256 pages, 5.5 x 8.5 inches, ISBN 9781628627909. Table of Contents:Running on Empty, Longing for More Car Rides & Contemplation: Finding Jesus on the Freeways Sleepytime & Service: Sacrificial Love at the End of a Long Day Eating & the Examen: Finding God at the Dinner Table Laundry & Listening Prayer: Because Sometimes the Voice of God Sounds a Lot like the Dryer Showering with Scripture: Wash over Me, Lord Fasting from Facebook: Giving Up to Gain Suffering & Stillness: Because Sometimes All You Can Do Is Nothing Getting Ready with Gratitude: Thanksgiving amid Chaos Travel & Pilgrimage: Going Away and Coming Home Ceasing & Celebration: Discovering the Playful God Almost Holy, Fully Loved: Where Do We Go from Here? Perfect for:Parents Gifts for expecting parents Single mother/father groups Foster parents and guardians Pastors and counselors And more About the Author Courtney Ellis serves as associate pastor for spiritual formation and mission at Presbyterian Church of the Master. She holds degrees from Wheaton College, Loyola University of Chicago, and Princeton Theological Seminary, and has been published in Marriage/Partnership, Rock & Ice Magazine, and Christianity Today Women. She's a contributor at The Glorious Table and The Mighty. Courtney is a sought-after speaker for leadership and women's retreats, MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers), and young adult ministries. She's a gifted storyteller with strengths in bringing parents, marrieds, singles, and millennials together. Courtney lives in southern California with her husband (and co-pastor) Daryl and their children.

    Incorporating a conversational, humorous tone throughout, Cheryl Lage provides a double dose of user-friendly suggestions, real-life advice, and heartfelt empathy.

    These kids often have violent outbursts, steal, engage in outlandish lying, play with feces, and hoard food. They are broken children who too often break even the most loving of caregivers. Many parents of these children feel utterly isolated as family, friends, and professionals minimize their struggles. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) - The Essential Guide for Parents is written by a parent who is in the trenches with you. Keri has lived the journey of raising a son with RAD and has navigated the mental health system for over a decade. This is the resource you’ve been waiting for – you won’t find platitudes or false hopes. What you will find is essential information, practical suggestions, and resource recommendations to provide a way forward. If you desperately need help navigating the difficult RAD journey with your child, this book is for you.

    Still wet behind the ears, he found himself on a whirlwind tour through the seven ages of man and the 57 varieties of human nature. He has to learn how to examine real people, diagnose them without becoming emotionally involved and fend off the crises of confidence which await around every corner. The book is set in the 1970s and there will no doubt be some readers who might think that things were better then. Edward Vernon is a pen name of a well known British doctor/author. Here's what the critics said about the series: Delightfully and wittily written. His descriptions of daunting receptionists, magazine-strewn waiting rooms and hypochondriacal patients will strike many familiar cords, but Dr Vernon is at his best when recounting his encounters in the surgery and at the bedside. For anyone needing to be entertained, and at times moved, there could be no better prescription than one chapter...taken each night at bedtime - Liverpool Echo Truthful, well observed and consistently readable - Daily Telegraph The funniest of the funny doctor books - Richard Gordon Dr Vernon is onto a good thing; we could do with some more - Oxford Times Hilarious - Titbits Thoroughly delightful - Fresno Bee Delightfully funny - Sunday Advocate, Baton Rouge For entertainment, a chapter or two before bedtime is just what the doctor ordered - Sacromento Bee Does for British GPs what Herriot has done for vets - Booklist Hilarious - Grimsby Evening Telegraph Very funny - Citizen, Gloucester Genuinely funny - South Wales Echo Wise, funny, sad and heartwarming - Chattanooga Times Good fun - Homes and Gardens Jolly good reading - Publishers Weekly Views the human species he treats with much the same affection, compassion and humour as Herriot brings to the animal world - Cleveland Plain Dealer Sometimes serious, sometimes hilarious - Lancashire Evening Post Will amuse, amaze and entertain - Yorkshire Post etc etc

    Discover how to Publish Books on Amazon & Sell A Million Copies Using Kindle, Print & Audio Book~ ON SALE FOR A LIMITED TIME FOR 0.99, USUALLY 3.99This Writing Guide is the # 1 Way to Learn The Entire Publishing Process on Amazon & Covers: How To Write More BooksHow To Find Which Categories to Publish InHow To Master Kindle Direct PublishingHow to Master Facebook MarketingHow to Master Product Descriptions (Synopsis)How to Use Community ForumsHow to Launch Book Promotions to Climb The Amazon RankingsHow To Master Print Publishing Using CreatespaceHow To Master Publishing Audio Books Using ACXHow To Remake Public Domain Books & Much More!

    

    These memoirs take him from enjoying the odd cold beer sailing peacefully across the Indian Ocean to being trapped in a war zone. Here he sees life at sea changing from the leisurely days of general cargoes to the hectic computerised containerships. He seems to have done it all – rescuing drug runners from the ice, dredging aggregates in the North Sea and finally skippering a ‘steamer’ on a tranquil lake. This volume is the second of Bob’s memoirs covering his service as master on a wide variety of ships. The first book ‘I think I’ll go to sea’ relates to his experiences climbing up through the ranks. In this book he has to flee the USA to avoid arrest for drug smuggling, assists rescuing a ship’s crew when their ship sinks in pack ice and gets stuck in the middle of the Iraq/Iran war. He also experiences alcohol free ships which take away the pleasure of his ‘cold beer’

    Craving the opportunity to finally see some action after a disappointing tour in Iraq, he now had the chance to put his elite marksmanship training to the test. To his disappointment, the Taliban proved to be nothing like a traditional enemy and their hit and run ambush tactics mean that more often than not Dean and his men are cooped up inside a Viking armoured personnel carrier, desperate to get out and take the fight to the Taliban on the ground. During one such ambush, Dean's Platoon is attacked from all sides, and Dean's Viking is immobilised. Going up on top of the carrier to fend off the assailants with his rifle, an RPG explodes next to him, covering him with burning diesel. Continuing his stubborn defence, and enabling his men to scramble out the back door of the stricken vehicle, Dean takes a direct hit from an RPG ending his brave covering fire. Dragged from the burning Viking, he is flown back to England with little expectation of surviving the flight home. Dean's next battle was the hardest he ever had to face.

    Parents getting on your nerves… again?... Need some verbal ammunition?… Here's 49 (extremely silly) questions to annoy your parents.Join the hilarious adventure of these naughty kids who will ask absolutely anything to make their parents blood boil. With an illustration for each haphazard attempt you're guaranteed to laugh, smirk, and chuckle for hours.Disclaimer: reading this eBook will definitely get you into trouble! (So if your parents ask where you heard these questions you didn’t hear them for me).Recommended Age: 7+

    Did you know that actors making the movie "Gettysburg" in 2003 had an incredible ghostly experience? Did you know that the Bigelow Ranch in Utah has been the scene of reported crop circles, UFO landings and ghosts?Kids will learn what is known and not known about many mysterious places. Are these places really where strange happenings occur? Kids can make their own minds up about them. Here Is A Preview Of What You'll Discover In This Book Did you know that 5 military planes and 14 men were lost in the Bermuda Triangle in one flight exercise in 1945? Did you know that a search plane looking for the 5 missing planes also disappeared? How were statues weighing 82 tons moved miles on Easter Island 1,000 years ago? Did you know that Union troops swore that the ghost of George Washington appeared on the Gettysburg battlefield? Were the amazing Nazca lines created by aliens as a giant UFO landing area 1,500 years ago? 8,000 people every year search for the Lost Dutchman Mine in the Superstition Mountains! Is it cursed? and much, much more

    Into primary training, the voyage overseas, and being sunk in the Mediterranean sea. Resuming the voyage on a bluddy awful peacetime troop ship. Deolali, being held back for glasses. |No Jungle training, which it would seem most everyone else got. The siege of Imphal, then more than 500 miles chasing the Japs out of Burma. The dropping of the atom bomb which saved us from the invasion of Malaya.

    Watching from her porch with eyes of faith and a heart of hope, Karen cried out to God for Lindsey's return. In miraculous ways, God daily reaffirmed the promises He gave personally to Karen that Lindsey would be restored to her marriage and family. Watching the Road will stir your faith, strengthen your resolve, and provide strategic tactics for your journey. Experience the struggle and thrill of one woman's determination to not give up but tenaciously trust God to fulfill His promises. As you'll see, He kept every single one.