Learn what to do when the tarantula crawls up your leg, the riptide pulls you out to sea, the sandstorms headed your way, or your camel just wont stop. Find out how to pass a bribe, remove leeches, climb out of a well, survive a fall onto subway tracks, catch a fish without a rod, and preserve a severed limb. Hands-on, step-by-step instructions show you how to survive these and dozens of other adventures. An appendix of travel tips, useful phrases, and gestures to avoid will also ensure your safe return. Because you just never know...

    I hope that this book makes everyone feel what I felt while writing it, and that love is a universal thing, and my story is not unique. And I hope that this makes them see that there is a beyond and that they can come out happy and clean. And, that this makes them braver than they already are, and gives them that little extra push and strength that they probably need

    A Slip of the Keyboard brings together for the first time the finest examples of Pratchett's non fiction writing, both serious and surreal: from musings on mushrooms to what it means to be a writer (and why banana daiquiris are so important); from memories of Granny Pratchett to speculation about Gandalf's love life, and passionate defences of the causes dear to him.With all the humour and humanity that have made his novels so enduringly popular, this collection brings Pratchett out from behind the scenes of the Discworld to speak for himself - man and boy, bibliophile and computer geek, champion of hats, orang-utans and Dignity in Dying.

    In her trademark bossy, witty, and authoritative way, Miss Manners gives advice that will make the big day more pleasant for one and all, including the bride. 15 line drawings.

    Its pages are animated with colorful tales of the fairy folk in all their many guises: the changeling, the banshee, the headless dullahan, the leprechaun, the merrow, and the ever-mischievous pooka. In addition, this volume includes tales of ghosts, witches and fairy doctors, priests and saints, encounters with the devil, titans of Ireland's historical past, as well as popular treasure legends.Contents: The trooping fairies. The cave fairies --Popular notions considering the Sidhe race --Changelings --The solitary fairies. The lepracaun, the cluricaun, and the Far Darrig --The pooka --The banshee and the dullahan --Ghosts --Witches and fairy doctors --T'yeer-na-n-oge --Priests and saints --The devil --Giants --Rocks and stones --Treasure legends --Legends of the western islands --Kings, queens, princesses, earls, and robbers

    A huge collection of incredible cautionary tales about the undignified ways you can kick the bucket - and they're all true! .the mechanic who blew himself up while trying to open a rocket-propelled grenade with a sledgehammer .A woman felled by a fatal flying lettuce .the octogenarian who caught a shopping trolley to a permanent vacation .the convicted murderer who electrocuted himself on the toilet as he repaired a tV these are all true reports which reveal the silliest ways you can bite the big one. Death may seem like a serious business, but this is a seriously funny book.

    

    Because students perceive writers such as these as serious and important, they take the writing course more seriously: they learn to read more attentively, think more critically, and write more effectively. But more important, this may be a student's only opportunity to encounter these thinkers. No other composition reader offers a comparable collection of important readings along with the supportive apparatus students need to understand, analyze, and respond to them.

    Selection includes the following: RALPH WALDO EMERSON: Art, Character, Circles, Compensation, Divinity School Address, Experience, Friendship, Gifts, Heroism, History, Intellect, Literary Ethics, Love, Man the Reformer, Nature, New England Reformers, Nominalist and Realist, Politics, Prudence, Representative Men, Self-Reliance, The American Scholar, The Conservative, The Method of Nature, The Over-Soul, The Poet, The Transcendentalist, The Young American, HENRY DAVID THOREAU: An Excursion to Canada, A Plea for Captain John Brown, A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers, Autumnal Tints, Civil Disobedience, Life Without Principle, Night and Moonlight, Slavery in Massachusetts, The Landlord, Walden, Walking

          Written and compiled by the Lord of Evil himself, The Adventure Time Encyclopaedia matches the playful, subversive tone of the series, detailing everything anyone will ever need to know about the postapocalyptic land of Ooo and its inhabitants—secret lore and spells, fun places you should visit and places where you will probably die, whom to marry and whom not to marry, how to make friends and how to destroy your enemies—plus hand-written marginalia by Finn, Jake, and Marceline. An indispensable companion to the show, this side-splittingly funny love letter to Adventure Time is sure to appeal to fans of all ages. Heck yeah! From the Back Cover: Written by the Lord of Evil Himself, Hunson Abadeer (a.k.a. Marceline the Vampire Queen's dad), to instruct and confound the demonic citizenry of the Nightosphere, The Adventure Time Encyclopaedia is perhaps the most dangerous book in history. Although seemingly a guidebook to the Land of Ooo and its postapocalyptic inhabitants, it is in fact an amusing nightmare of literary pitfalls, bombastic brain-boggles, and ancient texts designed to drive the reader mad.  Complete with secret lore and wizard spells, fun places you should visit and places where you will probably die, advice on whom to marry and whom not to marry, and how to make friends and destroy your enemies, this volume includes hand-written marginalia by Finn, Jake, and Marceline. Arguably the greatest encyclopaedia ever written since the beginning of the cosmos, it is also an indispensable companion to humans and demons who know what time it is: Adventure Time!

    CNN has described him as "having the world's most interesting job." Read about Lansky's experiences: fending off hippos with a canoe paddle on the Zambezi Rivertest driving Ferraris in Italysurviving the world's largest tomato fight in Spainswimming with dolphins off the coast of New Zealandblowgun hunting with the Jaguar Indians in the Amazonriding an ostrich in South Africalassoing reindeer above the Arctic Circlewrestling an alligator in Floridaplaying ice golf in Finland

    Packed with enough jokes to fill a whole new series, "Mock the Week: This Year's Book! "is a colourful riot of near-the-knuckle humour; the perfect gift for the show's devoted fans this Christmas. Categories include:UNLIKELY DICTIONARY DEFINITIONS: Fart (noun) - expulsion of trapped methane from the anus, possibly the funniest thing ever.UNLIKELY AGONY AUNT LETTERS: Dear Agony Aunt, I keep getting dangerous advice from hugely unqualified people - what do you suggest I do?CARDS YOU NEVER SEE IN A NEWSAGENT'S WINDOW: Child Minder Available - He may be small, but he's rock hard.UNLIKELY OBITUARIES: Died suddenly and peacefully on an electric chair at the New York State Penitentiary.UNNERVING THINGS TO HEAR IN A MEDICAL EXAM: 'So how bad is this premature . . . eeearrgh!'UNSUCCESSFUL JOB APPLICATIONS: You must hire me, before I kill again!

    From its earliest origins in the sixteenth century (or an early version played by shepherds called creag in the 1300s), through the formation of the MCC and the opening of Lord's cricket ground in 1787, to the spread of county cricket in the next century, when the Wisden Cricketers' Almanack was first published and the Ashes series was born, this simple sport of bat and ball has captured the imagination of the masses.Throughout its 500-year history, cricket has been a mirror for society as a whole, reflecting the changes that have brought us from the quintessential village green to Freddie Flintoff's pedalo, from W G Grace to Monty Panesar, via a fair number of eccentrics, heroes and downright villains.William Hill Award-winning writer Simon Hughes, no mean player himself, has lived and breathed cricket his whole life and now takes his analytical skills and typically irreverent eye to charting the history of English cricket. But this is no dry, dusty tome. It is the story of the mad characters who inhabit the game, the extraordinary lengths people will go to to watch and play it, the tale of a national obsession. It debunks the myth of cricket sportsmanship, showing the origins of sledging and match-fixing in centuries of subterfuge, corruption and violence. And it takes us beyond sport, to the heart of what it really means to be English.

    Now, with over 10,000 entries, this edition features the latest in expletives, sexual obscenities and lavatorial euphemisms.

    Things I Meant to Say to You When We Were Old [Paperback]