The gifts, the music, the yearly seafood buffet, the orgy...what's not to like?But, like all children, he eventually finds out Santa isn’t who he thought. The good news is, unlike everyone else, Santa Claus actually is his mom. Even better, she wants Bert to take over the job. The bad news is there’s more to the job than stuffing stockings and getting his bells jingled. So what's a demon to do? Drag his friend Mark Vedis along for the ride, of course. Join Bert, Mark, and the Santa team as they go through hell in their quest to bring a merry Christmas to all. Especially for Bert.

    Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

    A Dark Elf. An Avenging Wizard The name’s Corvin Chance, and though I was born with magical abilities, I’d rather be playing my guitar in one of my local pubs than running around flashing my magic. Until someone murdered my mother that is. Now I’m slinging magic around the streets of Dublin as I try to find out who killed her. Iolas Tasar—a gangster elf who crowned himself King of the South—is my main suspect. But besides being powerful and sociopathic, he is also part of a murderous cabal that includes a bloodthirsty vampire prince. If I’m going to take him down, I’m going to need help. Luckily, I have my two best friends: Dalia, a sardonic Demi-Fae who could scare the bejeezus out of Lucifer himself, and Monty, a wise-cracking street magician and YouTube star with a gift for technomancy and conjuring. Together we will enter a dangerous Dublin underbelly populated by dark elves, vampires, goblins and orcs to discover just who killed my mother and why…if we don’t die ourselves first, that is. And did I mention the Fae Queen who has also blackmailed Dalia and I into helping her…on pain of death? Join me and my oddball motley crew as we attempt to solve a murder, exact justice and just maybe…get a pint of the black stuff afterward. Being Human meets Iron Druid in this gripping urban fantasy action adventure series. Grab your copy of the first book in the GODS AND MONSTERS TRILOGY today!

    But few meet the standard of perfection of the American poultry show, the beauty pageant of the barnyard and the true test of poultry pulchritude. In The Fairest Fowl, photographer Tamara Staples celebrates the champions of the chicken world at their best. Dozens of stunning portraits capture the quirky personality and undeniable grace of these noble birds as you've never seen them before. Location photography of the shows, details of the judging process, strategies from poultry farmers, and profiles of each prize breed set the scene and offer insight for the discerning chicken aficionado. And an appreciation of Staples' photography by public radio's Ira Glass of This American Life explores the finer points of chicken portraiture. Finally, chickens receive the respect they're due.

    Biography

    But everything changes when Abbie is twelve and their emotional, spirited mother casts them into a crisis for which no one is prepared. Six years later the Morris family have rebuilt their lives, and when Abbie and Beatie, Abbie's adored elder sister, set off for the county fair, the world seems a good place. But their new-found happiness is not to last. A chance encounter with Louis, a personable, handsome stranger, leads to tragedy and has repercussions that threaten to destroy Abbie's peace of mind for ever. Abbie struggles to forget what happened that night, to get on with her life, but when she meets charming, honourable Arthur - and re-encounters Louis - it becomes clear that she might never recover from the night they stayed so long at the fair...

    Scott doesn’t just show you which sliders do what (every Lightroom book will do that). Instead, by using the following three simple, yet brilliant, techniques that make it just an incredible learning tool, this book shows you how to create your own photography workflow using Lightroom: Throughout the book, Scott shares his own personal settings and studiotested techniques. Each year he trains thousands of Lightroom users at his live seminars and through that he’s learned what really works, what doesn’t, and he tells you flat out which techniques work best, which to avoid, and why. The entire book is laid out in a real workflow order with everything step by step, so you can begin using Lightroom like a pro from the start. What really sets this book apart is the last chapter. This is where Scott dramatically answers his #1 most-asked Lightroom question, which is: “Exactly what order am I supposed to do things in, and where does Photoshop fit in?” You’ll see Scott’s entire start-to-finish Lightroom 5 workflow and learn how to incorporate it into your own workflow. Plus, this book includes a downloadable collection of some of the hottest Lightroom Develop module presets to give you a bunch of amazing effects with just one click! Scott knows first-hand the challenges today’s digital photographers are facing, and what they want to learn next to make their workflow faster, easier, and more fun. He has incorporated all of that into this major update for Lightroom 5. It’s the first and only book to bring the whole process together in such a clear, concise, and visual way. Plus, the book includes a special chapter on integrating Adobe Photoshop seamlessly right into your workflow, and you’ll also learn some of Scott’s latest Photoshop portrait retouching techniques and special effects, which take this book to a whole new level. There is no faster, more straight-to-the-point, or more fun way to learn Lightroom than with this groundbreaking book.

    On 3rd August 2012, Tia Sharp, a 12-year-old school girl, was reported missing from her grandmotherOCOs house in New Addington, south London. A call by her mother alerted the police to TiaOCOs disappearance and a massive search operation began. A nationwide appeal was launched to find Tia and her family, including her step-grandfather, 37-year-old Stuart Hazell, made a public appeal to find her. It was reported that Tia had disappeared after being dropped off at a train station to go shopping, but in the days that followed a very different story emerged. Only seven days after Tia was reported missing the terrible news came that her body had been found; wrapped in bin bags and hidden in her grandmotherOCOs attic. The truth that unfolded over the course of the day horrified the public; not only had the police searched the house on three separate occasions before discovering TiaOCOs body, late the following evening, Stuart HazellOCothe man who Tia trusted, the man who appealed for her returnOCoas change with murder. Nigel Cawthorne examines the appalling case of an evil step-grandfather who betrayed his familyOCOs trust, deceived friends and neighbors, and cut short the life of a young, well-loved girl."

    From Félix Nadar to Nan Goldin, each of the photographers featured here represents an important aspect of photography's evolution. The artists are presented in double-page spreads that include reproductions of their most important works, concise biographies, informative sidebars, and a timeline that extends throughout the volume. The result is a fascinating overview of the way photographers continue to push the limits of their genre, offering their audiences new ways of seeing and understanding our world.

    In this style bible Gok breathes new life into your existing wardrobe, showing you how to transform the basics we all have into a fabulous new look.

    

    When she meets Ed, who is on honeymoon alone after being jilted at the altar by a bride he's never met, it looks like her life may be taking a turn for the better.Fate, however, has other ideas, and she and Ed are forced apart.Will she find her way back to him, or are they just not meant to be?

    Every new coat and pair of shoes was bought with what little money she could scrape together as a singer on the stage. But when the theatre work dries up, Delia faces a dilemma: continue the search for employment with no knowing whether she’ll find the stability and security her son needs, or return to the place that should be home . . . where only spite and hatred await them. Desperate now, a chance encounter suddenly presents a lifeline. But Delia is faced with an impossible, heart-wrenching choice. Can she bear to leave Jack behind, hoping another family will care for him? Will they ever be reunited? What else can a mother do to give her son the life he deserves? Val Wood's wonderful historical sagas are perfect for readers of Dilly Court, Maggie Hope and Rosie Goodwin.

     Could Not Put Book Down - 5 stars "Peggy's description of the dog show scene is perfect and twisting a plot into the NY show was artful. Love introduced, politely and with good manners, leaving the reader hopeful the relationship continues in the next book. Where does Dillon go now that he is a champion dog? Ah, wait, wait...there will be more books." Sandra M. McDonald Can't wait for the next in the series! 5 stars "This book is a pure delight! ... Peggy writes a good action story, gives great insight into the dog show world, and develops a lovely love story, all around a very strong woman with classic self doubts. What a nice, nice read!" Susan H. An enjoyable story. 5 stars "I like dog books, detective stories, mysteries, and just about anything written well. This one had all of that. Although I haven't met the author personally I know her by reputation in the dog world, so I wanted to see what she had done. Within a few chapters it drew me in. I wanted to know what was going to happen, and found I was beginning to like the characters, which is a big deal to me. Even the names she used were easy to read. Her character development is better than you expect from a first time novelist, and the plot is well thought out with surprises in the right places. I was trying to ration the book and read just a few chapters at a time, but when I started reading today I decided to ignore the world until I finished. It's that good. I haven't enjoyed a book as much as this in ages." Ron Manor. FASHION GOES TO THE DOGS Kate Killoy is an expert at two things; knitting design and dogs. She arrives in New York City to launch her first line of fashion knits and exhibit her champion Samoyed, Dillon, but instead is drawn into a foreign world of international intrigue and attempts on her life. She even finds a dead body on her fashion show’s runway. When this witty romantic suspense story begins, it’s February. Fashion week is winding down and the country’s best known dog show is gearing up for a week of activities. In steps twenty-four year old Kate Killoy who has been showing dogs since she the age of seven and is launching a career as a designer. She is ready to take the fashion world by storm – those fashionable who love dogs. She’s invited her dog breeding friends to model her line of Fancier Fashions, before they compete in the best known dog show in the country. However, when she arrives at the event hotel she finds a poster of herself she never posed for, an FBI agent ready to arrest her and a bitchy dog groomer upsetting all her models. Her Irish temper and New England stubbornness keep her going ‘til the attempts on her life start piling up to the point where the police complain she is ruining the year’s crime statistics. She needs help. Along comes Harry Foyle, a former math geek for the FBI, who offers to help.

    Her clothing suggests she comes from a wealthy family, but Lottie's back bears the scars of a severe beating, and how she came to be on a cargo ship in the first place remains a mystery . . . Arnie and his wife already have two young children, Matt and Tom, but are desperate to keep Lottie. They decide to foster her, despite outcries from the local community, and though Matt appears hesitant to get close to Lottie, Tom quickly warms to the new sister in his life. But when tragedy strikes the very heart of the Lanroska family, the repercussions could change the lives of everyone close to them . . .A nostalgic and heart-warming family saga, perfect for fans of Katie Flynn and Margaret Dickinson