Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    Clay has grown up under the mountain, chosen along with four other dragonets to fulfill a mysterious prophecy and end the war between the dragon tribes of Pyrrhia. He's not so sure about the prophecy part, but Clay can't imagine not living with the other dragonets; they're his best friends. So when one of the dragonets is threatened, all five spring into action. Together, they will choose freedom over fate, leave the mountain, and fulfill their destiny -- on their own terms.The New York Times bestselling Wings of Fire series takes flight in this first graphic novel edition, adapted by the author with art by Mike Holmes.

    . . different from other kids' parents. As Amy explains it, when she was a girl she got to 48 inches tall and then stopped growing right there. It's the perfect height, in Sydney's opinion: big enough to reach the ice cream at the supermarket, but small enough to be special. Anyway, Sydney's big sister Jade is always there to help out with the stuff on the highest shelves. And though Sydney's dad died when she was only five, she's never felt alone or that there isn't enough love to go around. But when they are forced to move to another neighborhood, things get more difficult for their little family. Sydney and Jade have to get used to different routines, make a whole new set of friends, and deal with the bullies at their new school.And then there's the whole business of growing up. But Sydney doesn't want to grow up--not if it means getting taller than her mom.

    Life on her own is exciting at first but quickly gets lonely. Then Sasha meets Tigerstar, leader of ShadowClan, and wonders whether she would be better off joining the ranks of his forest Clan. But Tigerstar has many secrets, and Sasha isn’t sure she can trust him….

    But her toughest challenge yet comes when she's tasked with returning Sorya--the sun bear she raised from infancy--back into the wild. Because despite being a different species, Sorya is Chang's best friend. And letting a friend go is never easy . . . even when it's the right thing to do.With breathtaking art and STEM facts galore, Chang's daring story is for any young reader, animal lover, and intrepid explorer!

    In fact, he’s probably having one right now. But that won’t stop him from solving the mystery in Creepy Crawly Crime, his fantastic first graphic novel!

    You might already love it if you're one of the thousands who supported the Kickstarter campaign, but for those of you just joining us, if you like stories that feature magical girls like SAILOR MOON, MADOKA MAGICA, and POWERPUFF GIRLS, you will enjoy BEE AND PUPPYCAT! It's a slice-of-life story with a twist, and it has so much comedy and enchantment you can't help but be swept up. Natasha Allegri is simply amazing. She built up a big fan-following on Tumblr while working on the Adventure Time cartoon, then created gender-swapped characters (FIONNA AND CAKE) that became so popular they put them into the show. Then, she created BEE AND PUPPYCAT and it became the most funded web series project in Kickstarter history. How could we NOT publish it?Collects Bee and PuppyCat #1-4.

    He runs the stone newspaper in the prehistoric village of Old Mouse City. From dealing with dinosaurs to dodging meteorites, his life in the Stone Age is full of adventure!THE STONE OF FIREOld Mouse City is in an uproar. The most precious artifact in the mouseum -- the Stone of Fire -- has been stolen! Geronimo Stiltonoot and his cavemouse friend Hercule Poirat are on the case. It's up to them to retrieve the stone from the ferocious Tiger Khan and his band of fearsome felines!

    After committing the story to memory as a child, life went on. Years were filled with work, children, and sushi; memories were made from adventuring, hobbies, and sailing.An animal lover from way back, Patty has never lost a shoe in the zoo! Have you?

    Aegolius Academy. Once there, he must use his wits and bravery to escape his captors. Soren and his new band of orphans fight their way through many dangers, hoping to find refuge with a group of brave owls thought only to be a legend-the Guardians of Ga'Hoole! And so begins a magical journey in this stunning collection of the first three books from the bestselling Guardians of Ga'Hoole series. Together with the Guardians, the band will face a threat more terrible than any the Great Tree has ever encountered before. Soren must seek out the truth about his lost family, and with his friends behind him, become the stuff of legends.

    Archie 1000 Page Comics-Palooza collects 1000 pages of new and classic Archie tales in our biggest collection ever, with over 100 full-color stories featuring America's favorite red-head and friends navigating the pressures and pratfalls of teenagers everywhere!

    It's ADVENTURE TIME! Join Finn the Human, Jake the Dog, and Princess Bubblegum for all-new adventures through The Land of Ooo.The totally algebraic adventures of Finn and Jake have come to the comic book page! The Lich, a super-lame, SUPER-SCARY skeleton dude, has returned to the the Land of Ooo, and he’s bent on total destruction! Luckily, Finn and Jake are on the case...but can they succeed against their most destructive foe yet? Featuring fan-favorite characters Marceline the Vampire Queen, Princess Bubblegum, Lumpy Space Princess and the Ice King!

    The second collection from Evan Dorkin's award-winning humor anthology Dork includes all the non-Eltingville material from issues #7-10, plus extras, with 16 pages in color! Highlighted by the acclaimed "Cluttered Like My Head" autobiographical tour de force.

    An unidentified flying object has crashed into the mysterious moon of Eon. This looks like a job for ...CAPTAIN RAPTOR!... hero of a thousand space missions; champion of truth, justice, and dinosaurs in space throughout the galaxy!If anyone can solve the terrible moon mystery, it's Captain Raptor and his fearless crew!

    This delightful collection also includes a handful of never-before-seen comic strips! Readers of all ages have enjoyed Chicken Thoughts comics since they first flew onto the Internet in 2018.See the world through a parrot's eyes as Chicken the cockatiel & friends do bird things and think bird thoughts!