He's confronted the HOA. He's even taken on Santa himself. He doesn't usually win. These are the tales of the Dumb White Husband and they are all available here in this collected edition.This handsome volume includes:Dumb White Husband vs. the Grocery Store - John would rather sit and watch the game, but his wife needs some things at the store. Can he complete the list and get back in time to see the end of the game?Dumb White Husband vs. Halloween - Every Halloween, Chris has the scariest house on the block and gives out the best candy. But, this year, someone is showing him up and he'll stop at nothing to find out who.Dumb White Husband vs. Santa - Erik has planned the perfect Christmas for his family. The plan is foolproof, bulletproof and flame retardant. Nothing can undo the hours of planning and preparation. Nothing except maybe odd-shaped packages, ill-timed fruitcakes or an errant neighborhood Santa Claus.Dumb White Husband vs. the Tooth Fairy - Erik always has a plan and he's sure he would have figured out the whole Tooth Fairy thing eventually. But, when his three-year-old son takes a frisbee to the mouth, he's forced to speed things up. Between neighborhood kids with big mouths and unhelpful dentists he's going to need to improvise. Will he bend to the pressure of inflation? Will he get caught in the act? And, what do you do with those teeth anyway?Dumb White Husband for President (A novella) - There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand for the things he believes in. John doesn't believe in bagging his grass. So, when a new allergy-prone neighbor gets the HOA to require it, there's only one thing he can do - run for President of The Creeks of Sage Valley Phase II.John, Chris and Erik put aside most of their differences to run a campaign that they hope will see John elected as President and end the meddling of the rule-loving new kid on the block. Will they succeed? It's doubtful.

    When Josie Messina's wunderkind 12-year-old son earns a full scholarship to one of New Jersey's toniest private schools, this hardworking, cash-strapped single mom is intimidated. Will she ever fit in with the wealthy and fashionable mothers of Little Fawn Country Day? But when Josie runs into Country Day's most famous parent, rock legend Billy Stand - known to her as the boy she used to babysit - their embrace in the school parking lot, viewed by three of the school's most influential social butterflies, rockets her to "A list" status. What happens next will bring truth to the warning, "Be careful what you wish for." This timely, irreverent send-up of contemporary academia -- and the wicked ways of the one percent -- will delight any parent who has ever been dragged to a PTA fundraiser, has sweated out their children's grades and college prospects, or who has wondered what, exactly, their kids are learning at school all day.Editorial Review"A smart, poignant fiction debut...What makes this work stand out is Matthews' handling of social issues such as class boundaries and the state of education in the country...The cause-and-effect relationship intertwined in each plot element creates moments of laughter and societal insight, making the novel an entertaining, shrewd read."- Kirkus Reviews

    Telling three interconnected stories taking place on the same day, two weeks after events in "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" this novel is a can't miss for fans of THE KING HENRY TAPES. Spending equal time with Tyson Bonnie, Eva Reti, and King Henry Price himself, KING HENRY AND THE THREE LITTLE TRIPS shows the fallout from the Days of Supernatural Exhibit in both the personal cost for our characters and the political cost for supernatural organizations worldwide as fear of the Curator spreads to even the Asylum itself. Read as Tyson Bonnie escorts Vicky Welf to the Coyote Nation compound, find out if Eva Reti can survive the anima experiment inflicted upon her, and follow King Henry as he returns to the Asylum seeking Plutarch's help. The queue for the "Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" roller-coaster begins here! THE KING HENRY TAPES Book 1 - "The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady" (released) Book 2 - "The Foul Mouth and the Cat Killing Coyotes" (released) Book 3 - "The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm" (released) Book 4 - "The Foul Mouth and the Headless Hunny" (released) Book 5 - "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" (released) Book 5.5 - "King Henry and the Three Little Trips" (released) Book 6 - "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" (forthcoming)

    How is love related to sex, and how is sex related to love--and do love and sex need to be related at all?*This book contains profanity and adult situations

    The boost of vitamins, nutrients, minerals & antioxidants will start restoring you to your natural balance by cleansing & detoxing with the result being that you feel happier & more energetic than you've felt in a long time!As well as feeling amazing & so full of energy, you'll very soon notice the weight dropping off & your skin looking incredibly radiant.Furthermore, you'll find your that blood pressure & cholesterol levels will drop to optimum healthy levels. Your organ health, metabolism & immune system will all get that boost that you so much desire. It goes without saying that you'll have a longer, happier & healthy life.All of these benefits (& so much more) in the time it takes to throw a few ingredients into a big cup & with a quick & simple press of a button!Nutribullet smoothies are powerful because they extract every last drop of goodness that your raw & natural produce have to offer. You'll be shocked when you realise how much nutritional value you throw away by taking off the skin, stem & seeds from fruit & veg.Incidently, this is a great way to get your kids to have their fruit and vegetables with all of the vitamins, minerals & nutrients they need in a very quick & delicious way. They may even enjoy making the smoothies themselves!Nutribullet Recipe Book concentrates on seven main areas of smoothie recipes:- Healthy Heart- Detoxification- Weight Loss- Radiant Skin- Energy Boost- Anti-Aging- Super FoodsThe Nutribullet recipes include:- Chia Seed Rainforest Smoothie- Berry Breakfast Smoothie- Flat Belly Smoothie- Smoothie for Radiant Skin- Shamrock Smoothie- Antioxidant Anti-Aging Smoothie- Raw Mint Chocolate Smoothie- Bananarama SmoothieTake a step towards a longer, healthier & happier life. A life with more energy, more time & less weight. Your new radiance &that confidence awaits you. You won't regret buying the Nutribullet Recipe Book!

    Her real-life journal recounts two years of homesteading, history hints at the next six decades, and the novel explores the truth. We meet Rosette in 1888 as she revises the wedding-day page of her journal. In lush detail, in the voices of Rosette and others, the novel traces how we both choose and suffer our destiny, how hopes come to naught and sometimes rise from the wreckage. In a style reminiscent of Willa Cather, in a family saga that recalls the work of Marilynne Robinson, this novel brings us enduring themes of human life as Rosette and her friends and family make the most of the American pioneer life first detailed for most of us by Laura Ingalls Wilder. One reviewer says this story "makes an anonymous woman equal to the most celebrated hero of legend." Note that the Kindle version includes only the text of the novel. The paperback version includes 24 charcoal illustrations and highlights in a font created from Rosette's own handwriting. Now available: a companion short story - "Blizzard: A Story of Dakota Territory."

    But they have one thing in common: they need a scholarship to college. And they're ready to battle seven other contestants on a reality TV show to get it. There's Mei, a budding artist with a secret disability; Henry, not in it for the money but for the chance to follow his true dream; Lucy, a tough Texan from a new kind of family; Tyrell, an injured football star with a sick sister at home; Sam, a musician with no family to fall back on; Allyson, a devout Christian with a good reason to pray; Cassidy, a beauty with a secret; and Hiroshi, a varsity swimmer who left behind his true love. But only one contestant can win on The Benefactor. Who will take home the big prize? Tune in to find out.

    

    When a flying saucer crashes into his fishing hole, Jimmy tries to use the stranded survivors to jump-start his TV career. This first contact isn't accidental though. The Galactic Pool's saddest excuse for a politician has committed sabotage while plotting to rule Earth. And he's about to find out what happens when you mess with Earthlings.*81,000 words with a courteous 0.0149% F-word rate*There are sex scenes, but they are strictly telepathic. (sorry)

     Eve is an 18,000 word novella originally published as an ongoing story on Reddit's Writing Prompts forum by user /u/psycho_alpaca.

    But Pomeroy plays by his own set of rules. He may be on the dole, but he’ll tip his breakfast waitress $20 just for being nice to him, even if it means he has to sit an extra hour on the street corner to make ends meet. He’s a skirmish-loving, dumpster-diving, ego-starved crazy who thinks that he can sing and that all women are in love with him—or should be. His parole officer, an Hispanic woman who tells Pomeroy he’s off-base and he 1) won’t become a rock star, 2) needs to find a decent job, and 3) would be better off if he stayed out of trouble, is totally exasperated by him. But Pomeroy is his own man, takes no advice, and has more wisdom that we’d like to admit. You may find yourself laughing when you shouldn’t. (“A good strong piss is better than sex. Lasts longer too.”) May find his egocentric opinions politically incorrect. ("There ain't a dyke alive ol' Pomeroy can't turn straight.") But don’t blame yourself if you start rooting for this anti-hero, you’ll have a lot of company. (Note: Adult language and situations.)

    He’s had a bad year. Sarah, his wife of nearly twenty five years, has walked out on him to move in with Colin. Perhaps they simply grew apart, perhaps the magic was no longer there, or perhaps, as his friend Jerry suggests, Rick has become boring. This nagging thought, together with too much beer on New Year’s Eve and shock at the sudden death of his college friend Alex, leads Rick to a New Year’s resolution… To make the most of the time he has left, and show himself and his old friend Jerry that he is not boring, he will undertake a peculiar challenge: for a whole year he will accept every invitation that comes his way. Any invitation. No excuses. No regrets.

    Turned out on the street by his fully employed, entirely fed up girlfriend, he goes on the hunt for cheap shared accommodation and stumbles upon the ideal set-up—a bedroom in the home of Amy, an attractive psychology student who has been abandoned by her condo-buying roommate. Not only does Amy have a surprisingly affordable penthouse apartment with rooftop patio and a fridge full of high-quality comestibles, but she also has a mysterious across-the-hall neighbour, Eldrich, who appears to be home all day, smoking weed and receiving an odd assortment of visitors. Before long, John is availing himself of Eldrich's pot, food and wine. He notices that these staples are provided gratis to Eldrich by friends and acquaintances who rely on him for spiritual guidance. That's when John, atheist and misanthrope, decides to start a New Age cult with Eldrich as guru. And so, as half art project, half money-making scheme, the Answer Institute is born. With Amy as a partner in the enterprise, the cult flourishes and grows exponentially, attracting a wide range of broken, strange and spiritually hungry individuals, including an obscenely wealthy Singaporean expat, a psilocybin-dealing hippie, a conservative mom mourning the death of her only child, and the star of a popular sci-fi TV show. Eldrich begins to embrace his role as Leader with a little too much zeal and introduces his followers to increasingly peculiar rituals. Amy becomes progressively more enamoured of the funds pouring into the coffers, and John lets sexual jealousy get the better of him. The more successful the Institute gets, the more it spirals out of control, culminating in a bizarre ayahuasca ceremony that ends in a way nobody could have expected. With humour and pathos, The Answer to Everything examines the gap between reason and faith, and the human need for connection, love and transcendence.

    She is engaged to a handsome artist, lives above an windswept beach, and has a rapidly growing list of clients. But in a heartbeat everything changes, and she is left staring at an empty future. It starts with her naked fiancé disappearing in the rear-view mirror, and ends with news so devastating she collapses, sobbing, on the filthy floor of an airport toilet. It is the day that changes Joanne forever. Paul Clarke looks like a man that has stepped out of the pages of a women's magazine. He is living on Twin Pines Station, a farm shrouded in mystery following the disappearance of his grandmother. The small town community expect Paul to marry his spoilt, pregnant girlfriend, and settle in the area like the previous generations of the Clarke family. But not everything is as it appears, and life for Paul is about to be turned upside down. A tragic twist of fate brings Joanne and Paul together. But neither is looking for romance, and both are struggling with loss and the deceptions of the past. What unfolds is an unforgettable story of friendship, family and changes born through love. "This should become a TV series or a movie. It is that good in my opinion." - Mr Butler "Moving, rousing and beautifully written." - Jackie Parry "Being away from New Zealand it was such an indulgence to be given such wonderful imagery." - Meilyrox “All these threads come together in bold colors and powerful strands in Rochelle Carlton's compelling novel "The Quilt: Unraveled" to render vividly life's harsh realities in a story that is both personal and intimate.. This multi-generation family saga is immense in scope (and intense).” – Mark Fine Mature content warning. This book contains language that may offend some readers.

    Join the O'Reilly family once again as they meet around the Jack O'Lantern on Halloween night and share ghost stories that will make you shiver and have you looking over your shoulder to see if there is "a little something extra" wandering through your home tonight.