Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    

    

    Whether in business or his personal life. Not many people tell him, “No.” Until Kourtney Deen, a striking beauty, refused to sell her business to him so that he could put up a luxury spa and golf course. Business is business that’s what Zac has always believed. He refuses to get caught in the marriage trap like his cousins. However, the day he meets the feisty shop owner face to face, he can’t resist the attraction he has for her. Kourtney refuses to allow herself to get distracted. No matter how tall, grey-eyed and handsome he maybe. That road has already been traveled. Years ago, she made some mistakes and had to make some tough choices. Now, the only two things she cares about are her daughter and the success of her shop. In Zac’s structured life, things have always gone how he planned it, but one unexpected event leads to another. When he discovers that nothing is what it seems and there are secrets, yet revealed, he learns quickly that it is not his wallet he has to lean on, but his heart.

    The town’s peace is shattered when a young boy is taken by a strange creature, and a distraught father goes on a desperate hunt only to uncover a valley that shouldn’t exist. A world where dinosaurs roam hunting prey. A world better left hidden.

    Naomi Evans, the ordinary kindergarten teacher, a devoted mother of two and wife to her loving husband, Tyree, never would have imagined falling for a fine ass street king.Naomi and Tyree have been together since their freshman year in college and he is all that she knows. Three years of marriage to the love of her life seemed perfect… At first. She made the money, he stayed at home with the kids. To many it seems that they are living the New American Dream and to Naomi there is no greater feeling than being with her family.However, that all suddenly changes once she meets a sexy thug named Marquise who desires Naomi from the very moment he lays eyes on her. With just the flash of that million-dollar smile, his cocky attitude and irresistible lips, Naomi becomes intoxicated in Marquise and lets him seduce her on the very first night of their meeting. Ashamed and guilty for stepping out on her husband, Naomi tries her best to forget her encounter with Marquise, but as life continues to throw him in her path, she finds him harder and harder to resist. Marquise suddenly opens Naomi’s eyes to a world of pure ecstasy that she never knew existed, as he pushes her beyond her limits. Limits that Tyree could never dare to reach. Naomi is now torn between the only life that she’s ever known and the life that she has now become so addicted to. And to make matters worse, she begins to drift away from her family in order to get her daily fix with her new addiction. But that isn’t even the best part… Her new addiction has no idea about his competition waiting for Naomi to come home every night. So how will he react to finding out that Naomi Evans isn’t the sweet, single, innocent but freaky girl she made herself out to be?Only time will tell…

    Struggling to make sense of her grief, it becomes evident that a complete change and a positive focus is the only thing which will help her to carry on with life. Training as a therapeutic counsellor provides this focus, bringing her into contact with people who desperately need her help. Julie and her children are living in fear of an abusive husband, Janet is crumbling under the weight of a secret she has kept for over forty years, and Karen has never recovered from her mother’s violent death. Maggie is drawn into her client’s problems as she seeks to empower them to move on with their lives. And then she is faced with her own ethical dilemma when she meets Peter...

    That child is the passionate and free-spirited Flora, daughter of Marion. Flora’s early years are spent roaming around her father’s cattle farm, running wild and free with her brother and his friends. From early on she adores fair Neil MacEachen. But when her father dies suddenly, Flora and her mother are plunged into poverty and it seems beautiful Flora is destined to skivvy in the kitchen and dairy for her harsh aunt. Until one night dashing soldier, One-eyed Hugh, her mother’s former lover, kidnaps mother and daughter and takes them to Skye where he swiftly marries Marion.Back on the Outer Isles they settle into family life and Flora is taken under the wing of the lively Lady Clan, the chief’s wife, who teaches her the skills of a noblewoman. Flora still dreams of the day she might marry the handsome Neil, who has by now disappeared to France. But when the Clanranalds are invited to the grand wedding of the MacDonald chief of Sleat in Skye, Flora finds herself irresistibly drawn to dark-haired, teasing and passionate Allan of Kingsburgh, one of the mighty Skye MacDonalds, who makes no secret of his desire for her. Her heart is torn; she loves the mysterious and increasingly elusive Neil but struggles to control her attraction to Allan, who is meanwhile being groomed for a prestigious match with the chief of MacLeod’s daughter.Before affairs of the heart can be resolved, the exiled Prince Charles Stuart lands on the Outer Isles in his bid to win back the crown and his arrival ignites the Jacobite Rising of 1745. Scotland is plunged into bloody civil war; families and clans are torn apart in their loyalties and Flora’s fate is changed forever. She faces the biggest decision of her life – whether or not to help the now fugitive Prince to escape the islands and certain execution – knowing that to do so will not only put her own life in danger, but those of the people she loves most in the world.Deeply emotional and uplifting, The Jacobite Lass is set in the turbulent times of 18th century Scotland and is based on the true story of Scottish heroine, Flora MacDonald and Bonnie Prince Charlie.

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

    As Anna Mae grows up, she finds herself subject to blackouts, and she’s not sure why. Her psychiatrist thinks she might have traumatic amnesia, but all the diagnosis does is complicate her already troubled life, affecting her relationships involving family, friends, and love. At first she tries to deal with it, but she soon discovers that she will have to overcome it once and for all. For she can’t remember the crucial information she witnessed during a recent blackout. And her life depends on it.

    When she leaves a church filled with family and friends and tells the limo driver to "just go" she has no idea she will land up in a near-by town at a neighborhood bar, befriended by Weston Morris, a local veterinarian and all-around good ole boy. Will Weston convince Ava to go back and work things out with her fiancé or persuade her to hang around his hometown and start a new life? A life that includes him and his young son, Toby. Elusive Bride will hopefully convince you that sometimes even when you think you have it all figured out there is still time to change your mind.

    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Still Life With Woodpecker, Villa Incognito, Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates, Jitterbug Perfume, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, Skinny Legs and All, Another Roadside Attraction, Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Still Life With Woodpecker (1980) is the third novel by Tom Robbins, concerning the love affair between an environmentalist princess and an outlaw. As with most of Robbins' books, it encompasses a broad range of topics, from aliens and redheads to consumerism, the building of bombs, romance, royalty, the moon, and a pack of Camels. The novel continuously addresses the question of how to make love stay. The story is sometimes called a post-modern fairy tale. The book begins in "the final quarter of the twentieth century," at a year never specified, presumably in the early 1980s. It revolves around a family of deposed European royalty living in a small house in the suburbs outside of Seattle, under the protection of the CIA. They consist of: the father, King Max, a former gambler and poker player whose prosthetic heart valve makes a loud scraping noise when he gets excited; the mother, Queen Tilli, an opera-lover with a strong foreign accent and a fondness for saying "Oh, oh, spaghetti-o"; Gulietta, the non-English-speaking maid (and, as it turns out, Max's half-sister) and the daughter, Leigh-Cheri, a redheaded vegetarian liberal princess and former cheerleader, having pulled out of classes after being asked to resign from the cheer squad after having a miscarriage while cheering at a football game. Leigh-Cheri proclaims herself celibate, withdraws from public life and cloisters herself in her room, only to emerge to ask her parents for permission to go to the Care Fest, a lib...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=217300

    It spans three centuries and five countries as it tells the story of a violin and its many owners. The film was an international co-production between companies in Canada, Italy and the United Kingdom. The film tells the story of a perfect violin known as "the Red Violin" for its rich red colour. At the film's beginning, the violin is being auctioned in Canada. As the bidding starts, the violin's history is revealed, showing that the violin has been in existence for over 300 years, having been made in 1681. Its history is told in five stories set in different locations around the world-Cremona, Vienna, Oxford, Shanghai, and Montreal. These stories are told in chronological order except for the Cremona and Montreal stories, which are intersected into the others with each change of location and as the tarot reading and the auction develop.

    One Indian GirlHi. I’m Radhika Mehta and I’m getting married this week. I work at Goldman Sachs, an investment bank. Thank you for reading my story. However, let me warn you: you may not like me too much. One, I make a lot of money. Two, I have an opinion about everything. Three, I have had a boyfriend before. Okay, maybe two. Now, if I was a man, one might be cool with it. But since I am a girl, these three things I mentioned don’t really make me too likeable, do they? Half Girlfriend Once upon a time, there was a Bihari boy called Madhav. He fell in love with a rich girl from Delhi called Riya. Madhav didn’t speak English well. Riya did. Madhav wanted a relationship. Riya didn’t. Riya just wanted friendship. Madhav didn’t. Riya suggested a compromise. She agreed to be his half-girlfriend. From the bestselling author Chetan Bhagat comes a simple and beautiful love story that will touch your heart and inspire you to chase your dreams. Revolution 2020 Revolution 2020 is the story of three childhood friends, Gopal, Raghav and Aarti, who struggle to find love, happiness and success in Varanasi, none of which is easily attainable in a society that favors unfairness and corruption. Gopal gives into the system, Ravi continues to fight it. Who will win? 2 States: The Story of My Marriage Welcome to 2 States, the story of Krish and Ananya, who are from two different states of India, deeply in love with each other and want to get married. Of course, their parents don't agree. To convert their love story into a love marriage, the couple has a tough battle ahead of them; for it is easy to fight and rebel, but harder to convince. Will they make it? From the bestselling author Chetan Bhagat comes another witty tale about inter-community marriages in modern India. The 3 Mistakes of My Life In late 2000, a young boy in Ahmedabad dreams of owning a business. To accommodate his friends’ passion, he opens a cricket shop. However, nothing comes easy in a turbulent city. To realize their goals, they will have to face it all religious politics, calamities, unacceptable love and, above all, their own mistakes. Will they make it? Can an individual’s dreams overcome the nightmares of real life? Can we succeed despite mistakes? One Night @ the Call Center In the winter of 2004, a writer meets a young girl on an overnight train journey. To pass the time, she offers to tell him a story. However, she has one condition: that he make it his second book. The writer hesitates, but asks what the story is about. The girl replies that the story is about six people working in a call center one night. It was the night they got a phone call. A phone call from God. One Night @ the Call Center is the second of bestselling author Chetan Bhagat’s novels. Five Point Someone This is not a book that will teach you how to get into IIT or even survive it. In fact, it describes how bad things can get if you don't think straight. Funny, dark and entertaining, Five Point Someone is the story of three friends whose measly five point something GPAs come in the way of everything their friendships, their love life, their future. Will they make it?

    His self esteem and drive abandoning him as he felt the Navy had. Travelling to Glasgow on family business, he intervenes to help a woman; Marieke and her small child who he thinks are being mugged. He is unwittingly dragged into their nightmare, being hunted down by ruthless villains led by Nick Parson, a bent London copper, who will stop at nothing to silence her and recapture the evidence she holds against him.To keep them safe, Matt brings her home to Uist, thinking no one will find them in the peaceful hills of the remote community. But he underestimates Parson, who follows them home like an unrelenting Hebridean Storm. They hide, but even here, nowhere is safe. Matt seeks help from friends and family, but will it be enough to escape with their lives and to protect the safety of those they love?