Laugh at the antics of Riverdale’s teens as they seek the perfect Christmas tree, go on a sleigh ride, help those less fortunate, give one another cherished holiday gifts and more as they enjoy the magic of the season!

    Tressa is determined to prove there's more to this cockeyed cowgirl than meets the eye and she’s just been handed the perfect opportunity to get "Ranger Rick" and a skeptical citizenry to finally take her seriously. How? By solving a murder no one else believes happened...No one, that is, except the killer. CALAMITY JAYNE RIDES AGAINTressa’s off to the State Fair to work at her Uncle Frank’s ice cream concession stand. But when a soft-serve saboteur appears at the same time her cousin, Frankie, goes missing, it's another fine, sticky mess she's gotten herself into. With a string of malicious pranks, to scary, psycho dunk-tank clowns, two geriatric Jessica Fletcher wannabes, a dishy state trooper, and a sister who may have her eye on a certain ranger-type, and it's mayhem on the midway time. GHOULS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUNTressa thinks she on to a scoop when eccentric and reclusive bestselling writer, Elizabeth Courtney Howard comes to Grandville to finish her latest book. So, what's stopping Tressa from scoring this journalistic coup? Only the fact that the skeletons to uncover in this little exposé are all in a closet in Haunted Holloway Hall--a house only Norman Bates could love.CALAMITY JAYNE GOES TO COLLEGEAce cub reporter Tressa Jayne Turner is back in college and nothing’s going to stop Tressa from making the grade. Well, except for a wrinkled roommate rekindling an old flame, maid of honor madness run amok, a botched betrothal that’s more than just schoolyard gossip and a campus criminal out to teach the student body a lesson—one one crime at a time. Failure is so not an option.CALAMITY JAYNE HEADS WESTTressa Jayne Turner’s off to Arizona to see her gammy hitched. Her cousin’s keeping secrets, Ranger Rick Townsend is sending signals—more of the smokin’ than smoke variety—and it seems Tressa’s not the only person with an attachment to “Kookamunga”, the fertility figurine she picked up at a roadside stand. Throw in a washed-up actress out to kick-start her career, a suspect spiritual advisor, locals with a cause, and a ten-year-old who’s a chip off a certain ranger’s blockhead and it’ll be a vision quest to make Thelma and Louise’s southwestern spree seem like amateur night at the OK Corral. May the best spirit guide win.ANCHORS AWEIGHTressa Jayne is off on a post-wedding cruise. Good food. Warm beaches. Romantic sunsets. Nothing can take the wind out of Tressa’s sails this time. Nothing that is except this particular Love Boat has Iceberg ahead! written all over it. Why? It’s a lo-cal “biggest loser” cruise, Tressa’s bad-boy faux fiancé and his marriage-minded aunt Mo are stowaways, and Tressa’s barely got her sea les before a dastardly murder plot bobs to the surface and Tressa Jayne knows just how Capt. Jack Sparrow feels when the rum is gone. Yo ho ho and a bottle of V-8!

    Every time she chops up her delicious home-grown tomatoes she dreams of murdering her husband. Why can’t Harry just have an affair with a younger woman, and leave?Trouble is Harry has no intention of giving up his home comforts. Not when he’s been having his cake and eating it for years. Glamorous banker Carol accompanies him on business trips and the odd weekend away, but she too is beginning to think maybe life with Harry is growing stale.So who’s fooling who? Harry, happy in his illusion that he’s a sex god and all his women love him? Katherine and Carol, unlikely partners in Harry’s parallel lives? Against a background of gleeful coincidences, cute Cambridge cafes and the unexpected joys of unexplored freedom, the women decide that revenge is a dish best eaten cold.First published in 1999, Just Desserts takes us back to an era of shoulder pads and fax machines, and proves that when it comes to love and betrayal some stories are timeless.Pro

    She was wrong. The first time Norwich’s most hapless food inspector, Emily Underwood meets butcher Frank Pinch, he’s not got much at all in his display counters. But what he does have is a rather unusual plan to restock his shelves. The next time they bump into each other, he’s won an award for his sausages but is running out of meat.Can Frank keep up production of his unusually tasty sausages? Will Emily discover the source of Frank’s award wining meat? And what will happen the next time she tries to inspect his butchers shop? Book 1 in the Rub-a-Dub trilogy, this deliciously British dark comedy will change the way you look at sausages forever.

    In the meantime, enjoy this freebie from God: OMG: How I Created the Universe, Adam, and Steve, which contains the first five chapters on the Creation of Adam and Steve (you read correctly) excerpted from The Last Testament.

    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

    But Robin has a cunning plan - his marrying of the crossword and sudoku into his devilish 'crossoku', which might just make their fortune.

    She rejects the outside world and embarks on a contented existence of isolated self-indulgence. But when her nice neighbours Fred and Geraldine introduce her to the roguishly desirable actor Finbar Flynn the walls of the citadel begin to crack . . .

     All the best,Kerry and Kurtanp.s. Kurtan wants to make it clear that although this newsletter is in book format it does not make him any of the following:Book WormBook bummerBoffinNerd alertThe lion, the witch and the book wormp.p.s If you don't buy this newsletter that's fine, but we are getting a percent of the profits to donate to the Kerry Mucklowe eating fund, so if you don't buy it I'll basically starve. Which is fine if your conscience can deal with that utter headf***.

    

    The book also includes some of her best fiction pieces.

    He works with dysfunctional teenagers, and where everyone else sees apprentice career criminals, he sees hope. No-one has ever taught him to accentuate the positive; his mind is simply built that way. He adores his family: Karen and the children are the centre of his world. So when he finds that one of his few teenage success stories has wound up working in a massage parlour, he knows he has to help. He’ll pop in for a little chat – thats all it will be. But try telling that to anyone else. Karen’s not convinced, and maybe she has her reasons to be suspicious. Alvin finds that one mistake, arising from the noblest of motives, will propel events out of control. Now cast adrift, Alvin’s only allies are the teenagers everyone’s given up on. They’re great at supplying dodgy DVDs and ringtones – but can they help him get his life back?

    His fleeting fame as the drummer for a one-hit wonder rock band is nearly a decade behind him. His ex-wife is about to marry a terrific guy. And his Princeton-bound teenage daughter Casey has just confided in him that she’s pregnant—because Silver is the one she cares least about letting down.So when Silver learns that he requires emergency life-saving heart surgery, he makes the radical decision to refuse the operation, choosing instead to spend what time he has left to repair his relationship with Casey, become a better man, and live in the moment—even if that moment isn’t going to last very long. As his exasperated family looks on, Silver grapples with the ultimate question of whether or not his own life is worth saving.

    He’s in Goa, dreaming of the passport-thief who stole his heart (and his passport) forty-six years ago. Back then, fate kept bringing them together, but lately it seems to have given up.Jan has not. In his long search he has accidentally held a whole town at imaginary gunpoint in Soviet Russia, stalked the proprietors of an international illegal lamp-trafficking scam and done his very best to avoid any kind of work involving the packing of fish. Now he thinks if he just waits, if he just does nothing at all, maybe fate will find it easier to reunite them.His story spans fifty-four years, ten countries, two imperfect criminals (and one rather perfect one), twenty-two different animals and an annoying teenager who just…His story spans fifty-four years, ten countries, two imperfect criminals (and one rather perfect one), twenty-two different animals and an annoying teenager who just…Will…Not…Leave.But maybe an annoying teenager is exactly what Jan needs to help him find the missing thief?Featuring a menagerie of creatures, each with its own story to tell, We Are Animals is a quirky, heart-warming tale of lost love, unlikely friendships and the certainty of fate (or lack thereof). For the first time in her life the cow noticed the sun setting, and it was glorious.

    and his friends George and Harris decide that a jaunt up the Thames would suit them to a 'T'. But when they set off, they can hardly predict the troubles that lie ahead with tow-ropes, unreliable weather-forecasts and tins of pineapple chunks - not to mention the devastation left in the wake of J.'s small fox-terrier Montmorency. Three Men in a Boat was an instant success when it appeared in 1889, and proved so popular that Jerome reunited his now older - but not necessarily wiser - heroes in Three Men on the Bummel, for a picaresque bicycle tour of Germany. With their benign escapism, authorial discursions and wonderful evocation of the late-Victorian 'clerking classes', both novels hilariously capture the spirit of their age.