They all grew up dreaming of skating in the big league as stars. Then one day, a coach tells them the only way to make it is to drop the gloves. And every guy says the same thing: I'll do whatever it takes to play in the NHL.Not Stu Grimson, though. When he was offered a contract to patrol the ice for the Calgary Flames, he said no thanks, and went to university instead. And that's the way Grimson has approached his career and his life: on his own terms. He stared down the toughest players on the planet for seventeen years, while working on his first university degree. He retired on his own terms, and went on to practice law, including a stint as in-house counsel for the NHLPA.This has put him in a unique position when it comes to commenting on the game. He's seen it from the trenches, and he's seen it from the courtroom. This puts him in the eye of the storm surrounding fighting and concussions. And he handles that the way he does everything: on his own terms. When Don Cherry called him out on televison, it was the seemingly indominable Cherry who backed down. Hockey fans will be fascinated by his data-driven defence of fighting.But in the end, this is not a book about fighting and locker-room stories. It's the story of a young man who ultimately took on the toughest role in pro sports and came out the other side. Where many others have not.

    A guidebook for those who want to write well.

    It deals…with that fine, forgotten art of playing a poor hand well…Texas Hold 'Em is a state of mind, a spiritual survival technique, a way of holding on to things that might just be important in this ever-changing world." --from the introduction to Texas Hold 'Em The irrepressible, future Governor of Texas is back with a crusade to stop the wussification of the Lone Star State. He never thought he'd see the day when he'd miss gun racks in the back windows of pickup trucks, but he almost does. He misses the days when cowboy shirts never had buttons and coffee with a friend was still a dime. Many of the stubborn, dusty, weather-beaten little towns, roads, trucks, jeeps, people and animals are gone now. Like it or not, the peaceful, scenic bucolic Hill Country of his childhood is being dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century. His is at his outrageous best as he gives Americans a look at the state made famous by the Alamo, the armadillo, Willie Nelson, and, well, Kinky Friedman. Texas Hold 'Em is composed of provocative essays, including autobiographical pieces that are at times bittersweet and at other hilarious, profiles of such stellar Texans as his friend, Willie Nelson, as you've never seen him before, George W. Bush, and Racehorse Haynes, and a treasure trove of lists, quizzes , including: If the Ten Commandments Were Written by a TexanTex My rideTexas FirstsWhat Kind of Texas Driver Are you? As an added diversion, the book is decorated with cartoons by the brilliant John Callahan, particularly appealing to those whose lives are spiraling downward into tailspins of despair. Texas Hold 'Em is the way in which the Kinkster plays the game of life. To him, Texas Hold' Em means holding on to what is dear to him, to the things that made him who he is, always remembering that the most important things in life aren't things. An old cowboy philosophy of life sums it up -- "hang on tight, spur hard, and let 'er buck."

     Ernest Postlethwaite was a man embarking on a new life. No longer for him the routine and drudgery of the commuter... The first part of Ernest Postlethwaite's groundbreaking journal charters the course of a man on a mission to achieve cultural and linguistic integration in a small village in southern Spain. This unadulterated manuscript will bring tears to the eyes of the most hard-hearted amongst us, as we follow his footsteps into the great unknown. - 'This diary, written by my late husband, Ernest Postlethwaite, has been published expressly against his wishes, but with the full and hearty endorsement of my family and friends.' - From the introduction by Pamela Postlethwaite, Javea, Spain, December 2012 "I was captured from the first page. We've all come across expats like this, and Lowe brings together all the laughable elements into one hysterical character, Ernest. This parody of the expat diary genre had me laughing out loud. I can't wait for part two to come out. It reminded me most of Alan Ayckbourn plays in the 1980s (when I was a stage manager), and listening to the audiences leaving ... "Oh that ghastly character, wasn't he JUST like our neighbour / uncle / colleague?". They ALWAYS knew someone just like the dreadful people in the plays - they just never realised it was themselves. Let these posthumous "diaries" be a warning to expats everywhere - read it, enjoy it, and make sure it isn't about you!" - Tamara Essex review. ***** 'Part Two - Invasion' and 'Part Three - Consolidation' now available. ***** (This is a fictional diary.)

    Norman Baker said that about his autobiography. Why? He was a jackass. In the pages of this book meet 20 losers, killers, confidence tricksters, and incompetents - the Jackasses of History. For adult readers.

    On his release from one of America's toughest prisons, Howard made a promise to himself to go straight. No more drugs, no more smuggling, no more fake passports. He would retire to a quiet life with his family in the Balearic Islands of Spain. It didn't quite work out that way.This was the mid-nineties, the height of the ecstasy and clubbing boom, and Ibiza was at the very centre of the vortex for the 'E generation'. Pills had taken the place of marijuana, Paul Oakenfold had replaced The Rolling Stones as the music of the masses, but some people are just born for life on the other side of the law.It wasn't long before Howard found himself trying pure ecstasy and rubbing shoulders with some of the king-pins of the pill trade. These included some of Britain's most notorious gangsters, who were laundering millions of pounds of gold stolen from the legendary Brink's-Mat bullion raid. As Britons descended on Ibiza ahead of one of the greatest summers of the nineties, Howard was preparing for his most outrageous operation yet.Incredibly funny, moving and scabrous, Howard Marks' Mr Smiley follows a journey to the heartland of the clubbing and British crime scene. It is also a fitting last word from one of Britain's best loved bad boys.

    Jackie saw it all, and in The Joke Man: Bow to Stern he shares personal stories as well a look from behind the scenes at one of the highest-rated radio shows of all time. You’ll also get his take on his falling out with Howard and the show, and plenty of the raunchy, laugh-out–loud humor that Jackie “The Joke Man” is famous for. So sit back, relax, and enjoy as “The Joke Man” riffs on his one-of-a-kind career in show business, Howard Stern and the gang, and his very unique life—an American success story like no other.

    I searched for many years only to find that what I had been searching for, had been right in front of me all along.

    Here’s a quick guide and easily digestible list of his lies, moronic comments and stupid moves – both past and present – proving he’s by far the least qualified leader in our nation’s history. “101 Facts” was assembled by a group of independent journalists with nearly a century of combined experience. This isn’t an opinion piece. It’s a catalog of actual statements made by Trump in his own words that leave no doubt as to exactly who this person is and why he doesn’t belong in Washington, in business or in civilized society. Part of the proceeds from this book support anti-Trump groups nationwide. Readers who can’t afford the modest price can still read the book entirely free by visiting DCIdiots.com, a new website created to catalog the ongoing misdoings of Trump and other Washington idiots who are being supported by your tax dollars. When your friends ask why you hate Trump, now you’ll have an instant catalog of reasons, along with a website tracking the ongoing insult to America that is the Trump administration. Check out the book, sign up for the online free newsletter, and keep track of the enemies of wisdom with short, easily digestible and sometimes humorous stories delivered weekly to your inbox. Martin Luther King once said, “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Don’t be silent. Buy the book, stay informed and support those supporting you.

    Refusing to cave in to society's rules, Eleanor's exuberant style, wavering voice and lack of Hollywood beauty are fodder for the media.First Lady for thirteen years, Eleanor redefines and exploits this role to a position ofpower. Using her influence she champions for Jews, African Americans and women. Living through two world wars Eleanor witnesses thousands of graves, broken bodies and grieving families. After visiting troops in the Pacific she says:"If we don't make this a more decent world to live in I don't see how we can look these boys in the eyes."She defies a post-war return to status quo and establishes the Universal Declarationof Human Rights within the U.N. She earns her way to being named "First Lady of the World." The audacity of this woman to live out her own destiny challenges us to do the same. After all, it's not about Eleanor. Her story is history.  It's about us.

    Baby becomes distressed at feeding times and refuses to feed or eats very little despite obvious hunger. Why won’t he/she eat? This is a question parents ask numerous health professionals while searching for a solution. Babies are typically diagnosed with one, two or three medical conditions to explain their aversive feeding behavior during brief appointments. Consequently, many parents don’t receive an effective solution from the health professionals they consult. This is why this book is so necessary. Rowena Bennett is an Australian nurse who holds professional qualifications in various nursing fields including pediatrics, midwifery, child health, mental health and lactation consultant. She has over 20 years experience advising parents how to resolve infant feeding and sleeping problems. Rowena has helped over 1000 babies get over their aversion to bottle-feeding and enjoy feeding once again. Parents claim the relief is life changing. In Your Baby’s Bottle-feeding Aversion, Rowena describes the various reasons babies display aversive feeding behavior, explains how the reader can identify the cause, and describes effective solutions. Included are step-by-step instructions on how to resolve a behavioral feeding aversion that occurs as a result of being repeatedly pressured to feed - the most common of all reasons for babies to become averse to feeding. Your Baby’s Bottle-feeding Aversion provides practical professional feeding advice that not only makes good sense, it works!

    Now, I survive off the grid and close to nature, the way we were intended to live: free.s Throughout my 20s, my 30s and 40s, I worked various construction jobs, lived in the Caribbean aboard a sailboat, owned a restaurant, got married and divorced, and raised two kids. There were highs and lows, but one constant: I spent a lot of time working, working, and working some more – and still stressing about money. Finally, in 2013, I spent $12,500 to buy a sturdy 39-foot Ericson sailboat that needed a little work. Since then, I’ve been living full-time aboard the Gypsea Soul, on the water. I outfitted her with rainwater catchment tanks, plus solar panels to power my freezer and navigation instruments. I am usually on the move or keep my boat anchored out in the water, so that I don't have to pay marinas any rent. This let me clear up my debts, and in turn, freed my spirit. Living on a boat, I've met a wild cast of characters and had a ton of adventures -- hilarious ones, but scary ones, too. In the following pages, I'll share those adventures with you, as well as some how-to information for anyone curious about following a similar path. In between chapters, I've interspersed some of my insights, just as I wrote them, taken straight from my Captain's Log. (Don't call it a “diary”! LOL.) I hope that as you read this book, you will feel sailingas though you’re along with me, fruity island drink by your side, the salt and wind in your hair, lost in the amazement of the sea. Most of all, I hope you'll be inspired to go after whatever's been pulling on your heart.

    Play to win. Play like a champion.In Winning Fantasy Baseball, Larry Schechter discloses the secrets of his proven methods. Packed with commonsense, easy-to-use strategies for beginners through experienced players, Schechter supplies readers with a toolkit to achieve the most important thing in fantasy ball--winning! Some have called Schechter one of the best fantasy baseball players in the world. He is the only two-time winner of the CDM Sports national salary-cap challenge, having defeated 7,500 competitors in 2002 and 6,000 in 2005. He is also a five-time winner of the renowned Tout Wars experts league and a member of the USA Today-sponsored League of Alternative Baseball Reality (LABR).Readers will learn directly from the champ everything they need to know about:- how to project player stats;- how to convert those stats into a specific value;- strategy for snake drafts, and mono-league and mixed auctions;- selecting teams using a salary cap;- playing in keeper leagues;- and performing in-season management.Although the book is primarily about fantasy baseball, many of the concepts also apply to fantasy football and other fantasy sports.

    Tens of thousands of British fans followed him there to watch these monumental bouts, and to soak up the unique atmosphere in Sin City.In Ricky's Hatton's Vegas Tales, he recalls the most memorable moments: from fight negotiations, through trash-talking transatlantic promotional tours, gruelling training camps, bizarre encounters with opponents, fans, A-list celebrities and boxing legends; all the way to fight-week mayhem and the epic post-fight benders that followed.With contributions from family, friends and the journalists who know him best, tributes from Mexican boxing legends Oscar De La Hoya and Marco Antonio Barrera, plus the hilarious recollections of rock 'n' roll superstar Noel Gallagher, this is an anecdote-driven romp through all the highs and lows of Ricky's Vegas fights, and the madness that preceded and followed each bout.What goes down in Vegas, stays in Vegas... until now!

    It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.