The hilarity of TheOatmeal.com is now presented in book form with 35 never-before-seen pieces and 25 classic favorites from the Web site, including 6 Types of Crappy Hugs and 17 Things Worth Knowing about Your Cat.In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes.Inman creates these quirky scenes for theoatmeal.com, which launched in July 2009 and already has more than 82 million page views. In fact, every 15 to 30 seconds, someone Googles one of theoatmeal.com's creations. Now, 60 of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.

    This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else. Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take. Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays: HEY DICK, WOULD YOU SEND YOUR MOM THAT PICTURE? LAURA INGALLS WILDER NEVER HAD A SIGNATURE LIPSMACKER FLAVOR MISSED MOM CONNECTION

    Now, a selection of her new work is brought together in this one-off collection, which reminds us...Sometimes it is OK to be silly.Silly Me is The Pound Project's first book written and drawn entirely by an illustrator.

    I Dreamed You gives a voice to the feelings so difficult to express and so important to share.Award-winning and beloved children's author Justine Avery thoughtfully, reverently expresses the sentiments behind welcoming a child into our lives, whether we're a grandparent, adopting parent, step-parent, sibling, or anyone else blessed with a cherished young one.

    B. White in his essay on Don Marquis and his famous creations, and the undimmed enthusiasm of several generations of fans -- who every year buy thousands of copies of Marquis' earlier collections -- testifies to their appeal. A whimsical and sophisticated sage, archy the cockroach entertained readers with iconoclastic observations on pretensions, politics, and our place in the cosmos during Marquis' career as a New York newspaper columnist in the 1920s and 30s.Allegedly tapping out stories at night by leaping from key to key on Marquis' typewriter, archy couldn't quite manage the shift key for capital letters. Although his tales appeared in lower case, his views achieved a level grand enough to solidify Marquis' reputation as an American humorist in the tradition of Mark Twain, Joel Chandler Harris, and Ring Lardner. archyology brings together selected "lost" tales that were literally rescued from oblivion by Jeff Adams, who found them among papers stored in a steamer trunk since Marquis' death.And so archy emerges from his long silence. Whether reporting on characters like emmet the ghost, sailing to Paris to visit the insects of Europe, being trapped for days in a New York subway train, or hanging out in a Long Island orchard enjoying fermented cherries, archy is always both provocative and inimitable. With illustrations by Ed Frascino, a New Yorker regular, this collection reintroduces a delightful cast of characters who reconfirm archy's view of the world: "the only way to live with it is to laugh at it.

    In other words, perfect." - The Huffington PostAn amusing and captivating tale that's a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable: If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud, illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life.From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents hilariously entertaining stories about life and existential predicaments.The simple yet effective imagery, the personification of inanimate objects, and short, hilarious quips come together to create an amusing adventure through each character's unique grievance and wide-eyed dilemmas.Written by Avery Monsen, an actor, artist, and writer and Jory John, a writer, editor, and journalist. They are friends, and neither is dead. Yet.All My Friends Are Dead is both the saddest funny book and the funniest sad book you'll ever read.Children's book written for adults Displayed in an accessible cartoon form

    The Hebrew version of Matthew survives in at least twenty-eight manuscripts copied by Jewish scribes in the Middle Ages. Among the most important manuscripts of Hebrew Matthew is the one preserved in the British Museum Library. A full-color photograph of this manuscript is now available for the first time in this book. The book looks at the naming of Jesus as told in Hebrew Matthew 1:18-25 and includes the original form of Jesus' Hebrew name: Yeshua. Learn about the unique features of Hebrew Matthew, about the traditions that guided the Jewish scribes who transmitted this ancient text, and how the name Yeshua became "Jesus".

    He is going to change the face of British comedy.Unfortunately for the residents of north London, he's going to finance this dream by becoming a gardener.The result is The Day Job, an account of a year spent working in other people's gardens: people like Mrs Fleming who is convinced there is buried treasure in the bottom bed; Mr Walters who is trying to create a fascist state policed by gnomes in his well-guarded plot in Gospel Oak; Mrs Glover who is probably the most attractive woman living in Britain; and poor Mr Nugent, who likes to save his urine in jam jars and pour it over his compost.Over four seasons Wallington crosses Hampstead Heath from job to job. He survives brushes with the evil contract gardeners who keep trying to knock him off his bicycle. He strives to impress literary agent Herman Gapp who might represent him - depending on what sort of job he does on Gapp's Alpine Terrace. He even finds time to fall for a housecleaner-cum-actor named Helen, as he becomes part of a strange band of artistes, each with a day job of their own, all waiting for that first break.This is the story of long nights spent in the back room of a pub trying to write unsolicited scripts, and of much longer days spent trying to understand the British and their strange obsession with gardening.

    Many of these stories never made it back home - until now.

    You need a system for learning Spanish that takes you from beginner to expert to fluent! If you want to become fluent in Spanish, this book is for you! In this best selling book on becoming fluent in Spanish, you will learn: The Complete Spanish Fluency Training Program Most people think you need a great Spanish teacher or Spanish immersion program to become fluent in Spanish. While both great teachers and immersion language training can definitely help improve your Spanish speaking skills, many students find that typical courses and short-term immersion experiences are not sufficient to become totally fluent. Sorry, but it's just not that easy to attain fluency. It takes dedication and hard work with the right Spanish learning techniques. How to Learn Spanish Faster In this book, the author recommends a Spanish training system that will allow you to learn the language faster and become fluent much more easily by training yourself how to learn the precise skills you need. Is it hard work? Yes, it is. But it's what it takes to become fluent in Spanish. This little guidebook will save you a ton of time and frustration on your journey to becoming a proficient and fluent Spanish speaker. If you think you can become fluent by simply studying a Spanish-English dictionary and taking a few classes, you're mistaken. Mastering Spanish grammar and the spoken language requires a deeper level of understanding and practice. This Spanish language learning system developed by John Del Gaudio was specifically designed to help you master the parts of the language learning process that hold most Spanish students back from speaking fluently. If you're looking for Spanish books on Kindle so you can become fluent, this one is for you! About The Author John Del Gaudio received his B.A. in Spanish from SUNY at Stony Brook, and spent his junior year at the University of Puerto Rico studying Spanish language and literature. He has traveled extensively in Latin America and resided in Mexico for four years and two in Colombia. He holds the Basic and Advanced Diplomas de Español como Lengua Extranjera. He is a practicing lawyer in Chicago, Illinois, and has been a translator of Spanish legal documents. Whether you're a beginner or seasoned Spanish speaker, this simple system will allow you to achieve fluency faster than ever before. If you want a little guidebook that will save you a ton of time and frustration on your journey to become fluent in Spanish, How to Become Fluent in Spanish is the book for you. If you're ready to learn Spanish like a pro, scroll up and click "buy now" to get started.

    It’s about how bringing up kids can be a tough business, but we’re all going through the same things, and it’s easier if we can have a good laugh about it. The book covers a range of themes relevant to modern parents, from pregnancy and potty training to school, sex, and nits. There are fun features like Sex Positions For Parents, quizzes such as Did Our Husbands Really Say That?, and Scummy Mummy Life Hacks.

    

    Witty and unexpected, this collection of customer reviews is sure to show you a new, hilarious, and completely candid side of Amazon products and reviews you never knew existed.

    They hope to spend their days gardening, writing and taking their dogs for long walks through beautiful County Clare. Although the years ahead may look sunny, there are dark clouds building beyond the horizon. Will love and good humour see them through these testing times, or will their dream end in tears? Find out in this fourth episode of the Alberts’ countryside adventures.

    He describes parenting as “a million different gears turning in a million different directions, all of them covered in sour milk.” In this inspiring and unconventional book of essays, he sheds light on the darker yet hilarious side of domestic life.Owning up to all his mishaps and dumbassery, Edwards shares essays on just about every topic fellow spouses and parents can appreciate, including: stupid things he’s said to his pregnant wife, the trauma of taking a toddler shopping, revelations on buying a minivan and the struggle to not fight the nosy neighbor (who is five years old).Clint’s funny, heartwarming account of the terrifying yet completely rewarding life of a parent is a breath of fresh air. Each essay in I’m Sorry...Love, Your Husband will have you thinking finally, someone gets it.