Meet the 38 stones man who has never flown before and stands fat chance of ever doing so. The man who thinks his distinct Turkish looks won't go down very with the locals in the Greek half of Cyprus. The passenger who wants to enjoy the flight with his inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. The man who suspects his false teeth may have been stolen by one of the cabin crew. Meet these delightful people plus many, many more, and enjoy the funniest read you'll have had for ages. If you enjoyed the Henry Root Letters you'll love Dear Air 2000..

    I sat down one day and said to myself, “Larry, you’ve done it all. You’ve got three gold records, a successful DVD, a hit TV show, a picture of Shania Twain givin’ ya the finger, and most important, the high score on Frogger. What more could you possibly do?” Then I started thinking about writing a book. I wanted mostly to write Git-R-Done for all those good Americans who just wanna laugh like I do. Come on inside and hear me make fun of Janet Reno, Rosie O’Donnell, and my fat sister, who caused a twelve-tray pileup in front of the caramel nut rolls at the country buffet. I’m gonna tell you why Dick Trickle is my hero, why we need to get back to good ol’ common sense, and why I prefer a picture of the Last Supper with NASCAR drivers as the disciples over just about anything.Lord, I apologize!The book will go down in history as one of America’s most important events since the breakup of Aldo Nova. Even my mom liked the book—here’s what she said: “There’s really not much I can say here except for I apologize to everyone ahead of time for the crap you are about to read.” Git-R-Done is just plain funny, I don’t care who ya are!Also available as an eBook.From the Hardcover edition.

    Yet a spiraling descent into drug abuse and depression snuffed his flame out prematurely when he quit the pro tour at just 22. Faltered comebacks, spectacular bursts of free-surfing, and manic breakdowns followed as the surfing world watched a freakish talent self-combust. After years spent immobile and overweight on the couch, Occy eventually emerged from his cocoon, reborn and ready to tackle a whole new generation of surf stars. His celebrated comeback to win the world title in 1999 is a sporting fairytale without equal. In this no-holds barred account, Occy tells the complete, remarkable story of his spectacular rise, terrifying fall, and miraculous rebirth.

    Very funny and heartbreaking.' Davina McCallFrom one of Britain’s most popular and prolific comedians comes a hilarious and deeply moving memoir of life lived under the rule of a Silverback dad.The Silverback is considered the undisputed king, a creature whose authority is never challenged and who does not yield to compromise. He walks proudly, feeds greedily, grafts tirelessly, mates voraciously, swears constantly and is threatened all too easily. The Silverback is known to nestle in the misty peaks of central Africa but can also be found in Barking, Essex. Meet Dave Kane, the disappointed, steroid-ingesting, metal-wielding, bouncer father of slight, effete Gamma Male, Russell Kane.SON OF A SILVERBACK is a story about fathers and sons, class and education and how one scrawny, sensitive, fake-tan-applying 'ponce' stepped out of his father's shadow and became a man - whatever that means.

    Yet shortly after reaching those heights, he started to crumble, and famously left the 2012-13 Ashes tour of Australia suffering from a stress related illness. His story is the story of Team England - it encompasses the life-cycle of a team that started out united by ambition, went on to achieve some of the greatest days in the team's history but then, bodies and minds broken, fell apart amid acrimony.Having seen all of this from the inside, Jonathan's autobiography takes readers to the heart of the England dressing room, and to the heart of what it is to be a professional sportsman. Not only does it provide a unique perspective on a remarkably successful period in English cricket and its subsequent reversal, it also offers a fascinating insight into the rewards and risks faced as a sportsman carrying the hope and expectation of a team and a nation. And it's a salutary tale of the dangers pressure can bring in any walk of life, and the perils of piling unrealistic expecations on yourself.

    Whether he's assisting trauma surgeons who are singing “Take me out to the ballgame” while removing a well-placed iconic symbol of America’s greatest past time, learning how fast he can run after being shot at by an angry couple who called for an ambulance, working with a prankster-loving urologist who demonstrates how bladder problems were diagnosed before modern urinalysis, or screaming like a little girl while doing night rounds with a dead flashlight on a psychiatric ward, Cyra’s comedic style of storytelling will make your cheeks sore. Emergency Laughter: Stories of Humor Inside Ambulances and Operating Rooms shows why most health care professionals have such a twisted sense of humor and how critical laughter is to the survival of both patient and care giver.

    Fiona has also had successful shows at the Edinburgh and Adelaide fringe festivals, the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal and the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.This book contains her stories - funny and sometimes sad stories about her upbringing as part of a large Irish-Catholic family on a wheat farm in South Australia, her chaotic and disorganised family life ever since, living in Alice Springs and making it as a stand-up comedian. She also talks of a darker side of the life of many performers - alcohol.This book is for anyone who likes to laugh (and cry), who wants to read about a woman living her life on her terms.

    She has hit rock bottom and here, for the first time, Kerry shares how bad it's really been.But this incredible story of survival charts Kerry's rise out of the mire of addiction, depression and bankruptcy. She has brought her life and health back from the brink of total collapse and has become a happy single parent and working mother of four.

    Despite having not laced his bowling boots since 1989, it remains a fitting sobriquet. As a commentator and administrator, Holding has delivered his views on cricket in the same manner that he played the game: he speaks softly with a rich Jamaican rhythm and is calculated in either criticism or compliment. This book charts his effortless transition from one of the great players to one of the great pundits. Holding graphically describes his days as a player, looking back at how he tried to deliberately hurt batsmen on the wastelands of Kingston and his first match for Jamaica when he almost collapsed from exhaustionafter only four overs!He alsodivulges what it was like to tour with West Indies, and sharesunmissable insights about sharing a dressing room with other legends of the game like Sir Clive Lloyd, Sir Viv Richards, and Malcolm Marshall.Holding does not shirk the bigissuesheexplores why West Indies have slipped following their halcyon days, openly assesses Brian Lara, and laments the hypocrisy over the state of the game in the region. The controversy surrounding the Allen Stanford $20m spectacle, the ICC's handling of the abandoned England vs. Pakistan match, player power, illegal bowling actions, and the threat of Twenty20 to the Test game are all subjects which Holding tackles with knowledge and class."

    From just about surviving the equivalent of 30 car crashes a game and crooning Adele for team spirit, to extensive field notes on the smell of the Scrum and the fine art of on-pitch relief. Then there's rugby's secret naked wrestling scene and how it was exposed.In my world, you never know how the ball will bounce...

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    This book is a window into the world of Danny Dyer - and he's seen more of the world than most so he's got one or two things to say about it.Tackling such vital questions as 'Where have all the old school boozers gone?' 'Are there such things as ghosts?' and 'Am I middle class?' Danny shares his unique take on life with characteristic honesty and humour and reveals why it is that:· What goes around comes around - he learnt the hard way· You can take the boy out of the East End but you can't take the East End out of the boy· Harold Pinter is a diamond geezer · He told the media training expert to do one· Science can prove that West Ham are the best football club in the world· Him and Joanne are like a team - he's Paul Gascoigne, she's David Batty· The human race isn't evolved enough for TwitterSo, hold on to your titfer, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

    As of May 2009, Johnny Sexton was the little-known backup fly-half for Leinster, the chronically underachieving Irish province. But when Felipe Contepomi went down with an injury early in the Heineken Cup semi-final against a dominant Munster team, Sexton came on, nailed a penalty with his first touch of the game, and helped Leinster to a crushing victory. Four years, three Heineken Cups later and one British and Irish Lions tour victory later, Sexton is by some distance the leading fly-half in the northern hemisphere. When the 2013 Lions squad was selected, there was almost universal agreement that Sexton was the most important single player heading to Australia. And over the course of the Lions' first victorious Test series in sixteen years, Sexton was the man pulling the strings. His try in the third test was the decisive blow, and his joyous celebrations after scoring were echoed in homes across Britain and Ireland. Becoming a Lion is an intimate portrait of life at the highest levels of the professional game - at Leinster, with Ireland, and on tour with the Lions.

    The happiness of his family and school life was snatched from Jamie when his father was sentenced to ten years in prison for his involvement in the killing of Jack "The Hat" McVitie. The subsequent years saw Jamie without the father he adored and the whole family was put under enormous strain. At 14, Jamie decided that his passion was for acting and, having been encouraged by Barbara Windsor, he discovered yet another new environment at the Italia Conti Stage School. Jamie thrived in the acting world and was soon enjoying success on both stage and screen. By the time of his dad's release from prison, Jamie had carved a "straight" career for himself--but after years apart, there was plenty of lost time to make up for. Soon, he was dividing his time between acting and assisting with Freddie's "business." Whether on the streets or on the stage, there was never a dull moment; Jamie was living life at 100 miles an hour and loving it. Before long, though, life took a surprising turn when a drug deal his father was heavily involved in went tragically wrong and he was forced to go on the run to America with his dad, which marked the start of a whole new adventure.

    But behind the glamour of a public life is a private woman. And a survivor. A Bold Life is the tale of a Sandgate girl who chased her dream of being a cabaret star to New York, only to find herself stranded in a violent marriage to a dangerous drug addict. It's the journey of a unique and driven woman who built a remarkable 50-year career in one of the most fickle and male-dominated industries of all, and instigated some of the most iconic moments in Australian TV history along the way.Yet away from the spotlight Kerri-Anne has stared down a series of personal crises with grace and dignity, the latest in 2016 when a freak fall left John, her devoted husband of 33 years, a quadriplegic. On their long road to recovery Kerri-Anne found herself reflecting on a lifetime's memories, good and bad.Honest, fabulous, powerful and poignant, this is Kerri-Anne Kennerley's own extraordinary and inspiring story of A Bold Life.