Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships


Tristan Taormino - 2007
    Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men, Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships -- from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management. Opening Up will change the way you think about intimacy.

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities


Dossie Easton - 1997
    Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms. "I couldn't stop reading it, and I for one identify as an ethical slut. This is a book for anyone interested in creating more pleasure in their lives . . . a complete guide to improving any style of relating, from going steady to having an extended family of sexual friends." --Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for One

More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory


Franklin Veaux - 2014
    Now the new book More Than Two can help you find your own way. With completely new material and a fresh approach, Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert wrote More Than Two to expand on and update the themes and ideas in the wildly popular polyamory website morethantwo.com.From partners, authors and practicing polyamorists Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert comes the long-awaited, wide-ranging resource exploring the often-complex world of living polyamorously. Highlighting the nuances (no, this isn’t swinging), the relationship options (do you suit a V, an N, an open network?), the myths (don’t count on wild orgies and endless sex—but don’t rule them out, either!) and the expectations (communication, transparency and trust are paramount), the authors share not only their hard-won philosophies about polyamory, but also their hurts and embarrassments. More Than Two is entirely without judgment and peppered with a good dose of humor. Franklin and Eve underscore the importance of engaging in ethical polyamory, while gently guiding readers through the thorny issues of jealousy and insecurity. And no, they’re not trying to convert you: they know that polyamory isn’t for everyone. Franklin and Eve simply provide those who might be embarking on this lifestyle, or those who have already begun, with a toolkit to help them make informed decisions and set them on a path to enjoying multiple happy, strong, enriching relationships. More Than Two is the book the polyamory community has been waiting for. And who knows? It may just be the book you didn’t even know you were waiting for.

Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage


Jenny Block - 2008
    She operates from the assumption that most couples who are curious about or engaged in open marriages are in fact more like hernormal people who question whether monogamy is right for them; good people who love their spouses but want variation; capable parents who are not deviant just because they choose to be honest about their desires. In Open, Block paints a down to earth picture of how an open marriage can work, and specifically why it works for her and her husband. In dissecting other people s strong reactions to her choice, she explores the question of why cheating is more socially acceptable than open marriage. In part, she concludes, the lack of models for successful functional open marriages is such that the general public is not yet equipped to handle treating it as anything other than abnormal. Open challenges our notions of what traditional marriage looks like, and presents one woman s journey down an uncertain path that ultimately proves that open marriage is a viable option, and one that s in fact better for some couples than conventional marriage."

Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits : Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships


Deborah Anapol - 1997
    

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy


Jessica Fern - 2020
    Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a theoretical treatise and a practical guide.

The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know About Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love


Dedeker Winston - 2017
    The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory incorporates interviews and real-world advice from women of all ages in nontraditional relationships, as well as exercises for building self-awareness, confidence in communication, and strategies for managing and eliminating jealousy. Chapters include:Polyamory: What It Is and What It Isn’tThe Biggest Question: JealousyThe Second Biggest Question: SexSmart Girl SkillsLand of Love-Craft: Crafting Your Relationships from the Ground UpIf you're curious about exploring group sex, opening up your current monogamous relationship, or ready to “come out” as polyamorous, this book covers it all!Whether you're a seasoned graduate, a timid freshman, or somewhere in between, you'll learn how to discover and craft unique relationships that are healthy, happy, sexy, and tailor-made for you. Because when it comes to your love life, being a know-it-all is actually a great thing to be.

The New Topping Book


Janet W. Hardy - 1996
    Tens of thousands learned the emotional and ethical skills of BDSM topping from the first `Topping Book.` Now, in addition to the sage advice and good humor that made the first edition a classic, the authors tackle some of the issues that have come up for tops in the last six years: on-line domination, the challenges and rewards of `lifestyle` relationships, ensuring our own and our partners` safety, and more.

One Big Happy Family: 18 Writers Talk About Polyamory, Open Adoption, Mixed Marriage, Househusbandry, Single Motherhood, and Other Realities of Truly Modern Love


Rebecca Walker - 2009
    Edited by bestselling author Rebecca Walker, this anthology invites us to step into the center of a range of different domestic arrangements and take a good look around. From gay adoption to absentee fathers, from open marriages to green-card marriages, the reality of the American household has altered dramatically over the last three decades. With changing values and expectations, fluid gender roles, and a shifting economy, along with increase in infertility, adoption, and the incidence of mixed-race couples, people across the country are redefining the standard arrangement of family life. In a collection of eighteen honest, personal, and deeply affecting essays from an array of writers, One Big Happy Family offers a fresh look at how contemporary families are adapting to this altering reality. Each writing from the perspective of his or her own unique domestic arrangements and priorities, the authors of these essays explore topics like transracial adoption, bicultural marriage and children, cohousing, equal parenting, and the creation of virtual families. Dan Savage writes about the unexpected responsibilities of open adoption. Jenny Block tells of the pros and cons of her own open marriage. ZZ Packer explores the ramifications of, and her own self-consciousness about, having a mixed-race child. asha bandele writes of her decision to have a child with a man in prison for life. And Min Jin Lee points to the intimacy shared by a mother and her child’s hired caregiver. All of these pieces smartly discuss the various cultural pressures, issues, and realities for families today, in a manner that is inviting and accessible—sometimes humorous, sometimes moving, sometimes shocking, but always fascinating.

Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships


Mark A. Michaels - 2015
    These changes can and should empower people with the opportunity to develop partnerships based on their own sexualities, understandings, and agreements. This makes it possible to create what Kenneth Haslam, founder of the Kinsey Institute’s Polyamory Archive, has called “designer relationships.”Designer relationships may encompass: people who bond emotionally but not sexually; people who agree to be non-exclusive; single people who have occasional lovers or friends with benefits; couples who consciously choose to be monogamous; multiple partner configurations where long-term bonds exist among all or some; partnerships in which people are kinky and that make room to explore kink.The possibilities are limitless, and thinking about a partnership as something people can craft allows for flexibility and change. Relationships can open and close or have varying degrees and kinds of openness as circumstances demand. In the context of a designer relationship, decisions are made mutually, consciously, and deliberately.Designer Relationships will show you how to create the relationship that works for you, based on: · Free and enthusiastic choice.· Mutuality in defining the relationship and its structure.· Permission to consider all forms of relating.· Dedication to maintaining radical regard your partner(s).· Transparency about sexual history.Best-selling authors and nationally known relationship experts Patricia Johnson and Mark A. Michaels are exemplars of this life choice. This book explains exactly how you and your loved ones can design your own life and love.Editorial ReviewsReview"Michaels and Johnson's latest book on Designer Relationships takes my book, The New Monogamy one step further, past communication skills about monogamy agreements and into new ways to be transparent about all types of revolutionary forms of commitment that will take us forward into the 21st Century. Where my book left off, theirs continues and includes all the information any couple could ever want or need to create loving, open partnerships. Where most books only offer history and data, Mark and Patricia give practical advice and ground rules for trust, empathy and intimacy for collaborative non-monogamous relationship. We all need a book like this that integrates good tips and techniques and the words to define what we want from a partner; the freedom to choose. Whatever you are looking for, it is in this book. Written by a couple who really love one another and are committed to their work, this book comes at the perfect time, I am convinced it will help a lot of people."–Dr. Tammy Nelson, Author of The New Monogamy and Getting the Sex You Want"Thoughtful, honest and powerful! Reading this book is like rubbing a lamp to get your own Genie – but instead of magic, you’ll get practical guidance on how to create the relationship that’s ideal for you. Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson speak from experience, lead from the heart, and open a space for true sexual freedom."–– Ricci Joy Levy, Executive Director, The Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance"Patricia Johnson and Mark Michaels explore far beyond one-size-fits-all coupling to a rainbow of choices, showing us all that the only ways our relationships are supposed to be are the ways we choose with one beautifully stated guideline: “Keep kindness as your touchstone.”"–– Dossie Easton, Author of The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures and Radical Ecstasy."How would you live and love if society, religion, and the media weren’t constantly “shoulding” all over you?" –– Jenny Block“Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships by Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson is an insightful read into the different types of sexual and romantic relationships, It debunks the myths that tell us there is one type that works for everyone. It also imparts wisdom on how to navigate relationships for whichever type you find yourself in. I found this book to be a great starter guide for designing relationships that work for you."–Dr. Martha Tara Lee, author of Love, Sex and Everything In Between"I would highly recommend Designer Relationships to any couple who wants to explore opening up and wants to strengthen their relationship."–Shervon Laurice, MS, LCPC, LPCFrom the foreword:"Designer Relationships is a guidebook for these changing times and what is now available to anyone with a computer, a modicum of curiosity, and the willingness to take a risk and explore."–Ken Haslam, founder, Polyamory Archives of the Kinsey Institute

Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving


Betty Dodson - 1987
    With warmth and intelligence, and informative line drawings, Dodson explains how anyone can learn to fully enjoy the pleasures of self-love, pointing out that masturbation is still the safest sex.

Eight Things I Wish I'd Known About Polyamory: Before I Tried It and Frakked It Up


Cunning Minx - 2014
    Outside of traditional monogamy, relationship structure options and guidelines are often murky at best. This book seeks to demystify the basics of healthy, consensual non-monogamy by sharing the lessons learned from both Minx and thousands of podcast listeners who have built successful polyamorous relationships. While each relationship may be different, some basic guidelines are helpful in constructing one's own version of polyamory, and the eight discoveries outlined in this book seek to provide just that.

The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families


Elisabeth Sheff - 2013
    At the same time, gay couples in states that recognize same-sex marriage are getting married in droves. Some people prefer non-monogamy and have relationships that include swinging and polyamory. The landscape of American marriage and relationships is changing, and a variety of family systems are developing and becoming more common. The Polyamorists Next Door introduces polyamorous families, in which people are free to pursue emotional, romantic, and sexual relationships with multiple people at the same time, openly and with support from their partners, sometimes forming multi-partner relationships, or other arrangements that allow for emotional and sexual freedom within the family system. In colorful and moving details, this book explores how polyamorous relationships come to be, grow and change, manage the ins and outs of daily family life, and cope with the challenges they face both within their families and from society at large. Using polyamorists' own words, Dr. Elisabeth Sheff examines polyamorous households and reveals their advantages, disadvantages, and the daily lives of those living in them. While polyamorous families are increasingly common, fairly little is known about them outside of their own social circles or of the occasional media sensationalism. This book provides information that will be useful for professionals with polyamorous clients, educators who wish to understand or teach about polyamory, and especially people who wish to better understand polyamory themselves or explain it to their potential partners, adult children, or in-laws.

Pagan Polyamory: Becoming a Tribe of Hearts


Raven Kaldera - 2005
    Presenting a fascinating peek inside the polyamorous lifestyle from a Pagan perspective, Raven Kaldera offers practical insight and spiritual depth into a vastly misunderstood way of life.Relating polyamory to astrology and the elements (air, fire, water, earth, and spirit), the author addresses all aspects of the polyamorous life, including family life, sexual ethics, emotional issues, proper etiquette, relationship boundaries, and the pros of cons of this lifestyle. Kaldera also discusses polyamory as a path of spiritual transformation and shares spells, rituals, and ceremonies for affirming one's relationships and spirituality.

Sex From Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules


Sarah Mirk - 2014
    Sex From Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules is a love and dating guidebook that gleans real-life knowledge from smart people in a variety of nontraditional relationships. Instead of telling people how to snag a man and find “true love,” the book sums up what dozens of diverse folks have learned the hard way over time—including life advice from people who are making open relationships work to people who’ve decided they’re never going to have kids—that is helpful to anyone, in any type of relationship. The eight-chapter book follows author Sarah Mirk as she tries to figure out what kind of relationships she wants to build for herself. The book includes lengthy interviews with Tristan Taormino, Erika Moen, Betty Dodson, Aya de Leon, Tomas Moniz, Tracy Clark-Flory, and others.