She's also about six stone overweight. When she realises she can't cross her legs, has trouble bending over to tie her shoelaces without wheezing like an elderly chain-smoker, and discovers that even her hands and feet look fat, it's time to take action. But what action? She's tried every diet under the sun. This is the hysterical story of what happens when Mary joins 'Fat Club' where she meets a cast of funny characters and one particular man who catches her eye. The story is laugh-out-loud funny and will resonate with anyone who has dieted, tried to keep up with any sort of exercise programme or spent 10 minutes in a changing room trying to extricate herself from a way too-small garment that she ambitiously tried on and is now completely stuck in. Bernice Bloom is the big, new name in comedy writing...this is the first full-length novel after her series of laugh-out-loud mini books.

    Well, that is what Rosie did.Buying the house was an accident. She only went out for bananas.Rosie embarks on renovating her 22 room ‘new’ home in Italy with a non-negotiable move-in date of Christmas Eve.Surrounded by a cast of interesting characters, the Irish woman learns the Italian way of life and house renovating in the country she wants to call home. But when the project manager goes AWOL, non-Italian speaking Rosie has no option but to take control with the help of a translation app.With no heating, windows disappearing, mystery holes in the garden, water flooding down the stairs, a pandemic destroyed business and with a move-in date that seems more laughable than doable, Rosie begins to question if she was crazy to follow through on her fabulous midlife crisis dream of renovating a villa in Italy.

    But with the communist advance halted tough decisions lie ahead for NATO. Prime Minister Thatcher and Chancellor Kohl want to counterattack, while the Bush Administration worries about the effects of further war. As NATO deliberates, the United States and Royal Navies gather in the North Sea for a massive offensive against Soviet occupied Norway. In the Soviet Union the Politburo is split between the hawks and doves, and contemplates the unthinkable nuclear option. Its two minutes to midnight in Operation Arctic Storm.

    He is the Captain of the USS Joseph Kane, a 2015 Virginia Class, Fast Attack Nuclear Submarine. The strange force has taken the boat and all the crew back to 1942 in the middle of WWII. In fact, the Navy Command at the time, not even knowing what a nuclear submarine is, ordered him into the middle of the battles near Guadalcanal during the amphibious landings. Starting with the Battle of Savo Island which in history was a harsh loss of brave Allied sailors. What will the outcome of the new battles be and will this cause the possible paradox in time? Come with Captain Richey and the crew and travel into an Alternate History.

     Meet Wally Moscowitz. His day job is top secret. As ghostwriter for Oral B, the most famous gangsta rapper in the world, Wally is the real mastermind behind Godz-Illa Records' best-selling artist, and the best-kept secret in the Industry. But if word gets out about Wally's true profession, Godz-Illa's kajillion-dollar rap empire will be sunk, and Wally will be dead meat. When Wally comes home one particularly bizarre afternoon to find a ransom note and his best friend and dog, Dr. Barry Schwartzman, missing, Wally goes to great lengths to stop the dognappers while keeping the big secret under wraps. He must, if he wants to walk away with his job, not to mention his life, intact. The hunt for Dr. Schwartzman and the blackmailing thug who is trying to reveal hip-hop's biggest conspiracy becomes a wild-goose chase in which everyone becomes a suspect: Sue Schadenfreude, Wally's girlfriend, who makes a pretty penny massaging Barbra Streisand's papillon, Yenta; Pardeep Vishvatma, Wally's neighbor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the suspicious characters lurking about the hood; Jerry Silver, Wally's slick-rick, self-styled superagent; Abraham "Dandy" Lyons, Wally's boss and Godz-Illa's CEO-badass with Suge Knight's street cred and Tony Soprano's "friends"; Jem, the fiery, achingly familiar vixen who steals Wally's heart; Yo Yo Pa and Teddy Bizzle, Oral B's entourage; and the mysterious mob crew: Five-two Lou, Six-seven Kevin, and Balsamic Vinny, who show up when Wally needs them most. Duck Duck Wally is a hilarious romp through the absurdities of Los Angeles, the bombastic details of hip-hop culture, and a day in the life of what was supposed to be the painfully ordinary existence of Wally Moscowitz.

    I could barely put the book down until its equally heart-wrenching and heart-warming ending. A wonderful, smart and funny book - I know readers will absolutely love it' Louise Fein, bestselling author of People Like UsThe Willows have been through a lot. Louise has devoted her life to caring for her disabled youngest daughter. Pete works abroad, almost never seeing his loved ones. And their eldest, Eliza, is burdened by all the secrets she's trying to keep from her overloaded family.Meanwhile, Patience observes the world while trapped in her own body. She laughs, she cries, she has opinions and knows what she wants. But those who love her most - and make every decision about her life - will never know.Or will they? When the Willows are offered the opportunity for Patience to take part in a new gene therapy trial to cure her Rett syndrome, they face an impossible dilemma. Are the very real risks worth the chance of the reward, no matter how small?'An extraordinary novel about love and hope and family and what happens in the space between the words. I adored it' Kirsten Hesketh, author of Another Us

    During the 1980s, Argentina invaded and fought an unsuccessful war with the British. However, despite this failed campaign, Argentina has never abandoned its claim to the islands, what they call 'Las Islas Malvinas.' Prince Albert—an Apache helicopter pilot fresh off a haunting tour of Afghanistan—is sent to the remote islands for a royal visit, an affirmation of London’s commitment to their windswept, oil-rich overseas territory. Argentina, manipulated by a former Nazi and seeking to cure economic malaise, invades once again, catching Prince Albert in the unfolding operation, forcing him to face personal demons, as well as an Argentine commando sent to hunt him down. This novella is an exciting action-filled military thriller that incorporates real places, tactics, and weapons. Please visit "Crown Jewel: The Battle for the Falklands" on Facebook for items of relevance to the book.

    He’s taken to hospital for treatment. Then people start trying to assassinate him.The man has to find out why, how to get them to stop, and what the CIA has to do with all this. There’s also the little problem of working out who he used to be, and why that changed. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Piper and best friend Lance are trying to find him…Jonathon Fairfax – still the world’s most socially awkward hero – is back. If only he knew.‘A hugely entertaining novel … a surprising, yet strangely fitting, progression to the Jonathon Fairfax story.’ Scott Pack (former head buyer for Waterstones)Pick up the latest Jonathon Fairfax novel – sequel to two Amazon bestsellers: The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax (‘A comic gem’ Stylist, ‘You can’t help being tickled’ The Guardian, Bath Novel Award shortlist) and Jonathon Fairfax Must Be Destroyed (‘A funny, daft-yet-relatable, nerve-jangly thriller’ Emerald Street).*That’s a trashcan or dumpster, for American readers.The Jonathon Fairfax novels can be read in any order.

    After a tumultuous childhood in a broken home, keeping secrets became a way of life for twin sisters: Gabby and Olivia, and their little sister, Emma. They've all got skeletons in their closets; memories locked away never to see the light of day. But after they take divergent paths in life, disaster strikes, and their pasts collide head-on with a mysterious present in this surreal and gripping family drama. The worst has happened, and if they want to find the key to survival and reconciliation, they must learn to let their skeletons out; shake the dust off of them, and maybe even let them dance across the floor. At turns heartbreaking, dark and beautiful, The Girl in the Box explores not only the consequences of secrets--even secrets kept out of fear--but also the courage it takes to speak the truth, to let go, and to survive. Trigger Warning: The content of this novel contains graphic scenes: violence to women, victimization, abduction, and abusePreviously titled: Let Me GoFiction: Psychological Suspense, Family Drama, Stand-Alone (no cliffhangers)

    And it is Modi-led India that has this high honour. Prime Minister Modi rolls out the red carpet for the aliens. He receives them at the airport, shows them the sights in Delhi and convinces them to invest in the Make in India campaign. The leader of the alien delegation even holds a broom to promote Swachh Bharat. But what is the real reason the aliens have come to India? Are they friends? Or will they turn foes? Read this hilarious, rib-tickling novel from the author of Unreal Elections to find out.

    The novel follows the journey of Ira Overman, veteran of multiple botched careers and a singularly botched marriage, as he makes one last attempt to rise above the guilt, weakness, and self-hatred that have been hard-wired into his soul since birth. Through an unlikely side effect from a seemingly routine surgery, Overman suddenly finds himself trying to reconcile newfound powers with the man he used to be, determined not to repeat the poor choices of his past. Overman succeeds at righting some of his former wrongs, fails miserably at others, but, most importantly, gains a small yet significant window into a life that matters.

     The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Other new titles for Autumn 2016: How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of the Meeting The Ladybird Book of Red TapeThe Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster

    Under social media pressure, NASA sends David Anderson to the island to investigate the death and vindicate the agency. But Anderson is not the only newcomer to the island. More people are dying. Anderson and his team must figure out what is killing everyone before they, too, become victims. But how do you stop a killing machine that keeps evolving?Michael Crichton and Douglas Preston fans will enjoy the hard science fiction in this action-packed thriller.“Scary as hell.”“Bone-chillingly frightening.”

    He can see into the mind of everyone he meets - a useful ability when you're job is to destroy celebrities on live television.But when he stumbles upon a hundred-year-old photograph in which he sees himself as a boy, Elliot's gift spirals out of control.His only hope to retain his sanity lies in the hands of a group of misfits who claim to have lived before...and who know Elliot very well.Can Elliot discover the secret of the photograph, and of who he really is, before he loses his mind forever?

    until something utterly unfamiliar suddenly lands in your back yard.Susan is the epitome of the happy housewife, contentedly conducting her daily ritual of cleaning her home and keeping everything just as it should be. Wrapped up in her own little world within those familiar walls, she hardly notices the altogether different arrival in her own back yard. She may ignore the sudden shaking beneath her slippered feet, she might even neglect to spot the conspicuous sight itself—but she can't evade the stench. Something's wrong. Very wrong. And Susan's incapable of determining just what to do about the uninvited eyesore in her back yard. Turning to her best friend for help with the impromptu emergency threatening to shake up her very existence and happy home, Susan combines efforts with neighbor Trisha to decipher the composition and meaning of the frightfully large and utterly unpleasant new arrival. But are these two women really capable of realizing the gift of new awareness they've just been given by an unseen entity? Or will they continue to fail to see the world that exists out there? What a difference a day makes... unless you choose to ignore it. Start Reading Now...What are you waiting for? Unexpected surprises, urban fantasy, unveiled mysteries, a touch of humor, a dab of "new weird", and so much more await you.