Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.

    More than forty years later, author James W. Hewitt returns to the scene and unearths new details about what happened. After pieces of Edwin and Wilma Hoyt’s dismembered bodies were found floating on the surface of a nearby lake, authorities charged McCook resident Harold Nokes and his wife, Ena, with murder. Harold pleaded guilty to murder and Ena pleaded guilty to two counts of wrongful disposal of a dead body, but the full story of why and how he murdered the Hoyts has never been told. Hewitt interviews law enforcement officers, members of the victims’ family, weapons experts, and forensic psychiatrists, and delves into newspaper reports and court documents from the time. Most significant, Harold granted Hewitt his first and only interview, in which the convicted murderer changed several parts of his 1974 confession. In Cold Storage takes readers through the evidence, including salacious details of sex and intrigue between the Hoyts and the Nokeses, and draws new conclusions about what really happened between the two families on that fateful September night.

    A mission. No memories. Nameless is back to hunt down an architect of chaos in #1 New York Times bestselling author Dean Koontz’s return to a landscape of hard-won justice.In a forgotten Cold War bunker, a cold-blooded arms dealer counts his cash and watches from a distance as cities collapse into violence. Pledged to stop him is a man without a past, guided by a teenage boy through the tunnels under the corrupted port city. With each stealthy move toward their target, the path ahead grows ever darker.From #1 New York Times bestselling author Dean Koontz comes The Lost Soul of the City, part of Season 2 of Nameless, a gripping collection of stories about a man in search of the truth, the past, and those who owe a debt of blood. Follow him through each story, which can be read or listened to in a single sitting.

    There is no warning and no discernible pattern regarding race, age, gender, or region. The afflicted die within moments of one another. Seven minutes later they rise again and attack the living. The speed at which the disaster happens is too great for any organized response. Towns are overrun. The government and military find themselves unable to react. Civilization crumbles in a matter of hours. By the end of the first day, the streets are filled with shambling corpses, mindless beings driven solely by the desire to feed. Jacob Thornton decides his only chance is to abandon his home. Fleeing the city, he travels north, encountering other survivors on the way. Together, they gather supplies, seek a place of safety, and discover through trial and error how to defend against the zombies. Yet, the creatures never stop moving, and they have begun to leave the population centers, spreading across the land.

    Eat what you want, when you want, who you want. Millions of people from desperate teens, to pop stars, to brides and successful businessmen are attracted to the cure for fat. One which allows them to eat anything they want and still lose weight. Quickly it passed between the users and those around them, even a kiss shared the microbe that would condemn the affected. Silently over weeks tens of millions of people were infected. No corner of the Earth would escape the carnage. The lucky ones became mindless beasts, looking for their next taste of human flesh, the hunger taking over everything they were until they exist purely to feed. A few unfortunate souls suffer with the hunger of the dead but the mind of the living, they're neither dead nor alive but something in between, something far more dangerous to the surviving humans. The government have given up on their citizens having been unable to contain or destroy the plague that is destroying humanity. Everyone wants something from you, whether it’s your bottle of water or the flesh off your body. Where the dead haven’t ravaged, the army have destroyed in a desperate attempt to stop the spread. In the South East of England a Police officer, soldier, executive and IT geek are amongst those trying to make their way in the new dead world. Unsure of their place in it or how long they’ll last until they become a feeders next meal. In the world of the dead, what will the living have to do in order to survive?

    Wake his kid brother Andy up, get tormented on the school bus by the cool kids, try to avoid them while in school. Except it's Field Trip Day to the Science Museum, and now he's stuck with the meanest kids in seventh grade all day! But then the bus breaks down, so he doesn't even get to do anything cool at the science museum. It's okay, because an industrial accident brings science to Todd and his friends in the form of a zombie apocalypse. When the bus driver abandons them in the middle of a zombie outbreak, Todd, his brother Andy, his best friend Tarik, and their tomboy friend Mikayla take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. What can you find in an adult toy store to fight zombies? Well…let's just say that the field trip was pretty educational, even if the kids never made it to the museum! Shingles is the comedy horror series from the gang that brings you the Authors & Dragons podcast. Like the podcast, these books are rated Not Safe For Anything.

    From the author of STAY IN YOUR OWN BACKYARD.

    It’s an equinox place, my mother once said, where dark and light things are equally in power.I want to tell you, dear strangers, why I was there and what I found.The three-winged pigeon. My cynical doppelgänger. The loneliness and marvels and confusions of the house. And most of all the ghost living in my bedroom.We learned how to talk without using sound. She was secretive and scared and difficult to know. But she was also warm and playful, as willing to share the room in silence as to trace vulgar symbols on my hand to get a rise.She helped me with the hundred-pound centipede, the hostile little man living in my basement, and the emptiness I’d felt since my mother lost her mind.I tried to help her out of limbo with experiments and spells until I realized if they worked—if we succeeded—I would lose her."

    They have created the Domains and there they plan to reside forever. Except, the nightmares of reality have followed them into their new quantum dimension and those nightmares threaten to destroy it all! Now it is up to one of them to help navigate the quantum platform known as EverRealm, a fantasy MMORPG of epic proportions, in order to complete a quest he neither wants to complete nor knows how. With the help of his friends, and a lot of luck, he will have to face trials and tribulations like he's never faced as a player! Because now it is no longer a matter of Game Over, but of life or death! Can he survive it all and come out a winner? The only way he'll know is if he plays the game to the bitter end!

    More than three hours of recordings in each collection capture the intimacy of live performance, with stories that are alternately exciting, poignant, and funny, making this the perfect accompaniment to any number of daily activities--driving, cooking, exercising, relaxing, or intently listening. Timeless Classics includes, among others, James Thurber's "The Night the Ghost Got In," read by Isaiah Sheffer; Edith Wharton's "Roman Fever," read by Maria Tucci; Jack London's "Make Westing," read by Steven Gilborn; D. H. Lawrence's "The Rocking Horse Winner," read by John Shea; Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery," read by Marian Seldes; Richard Connell's "The Most Dangerous Game," read by Charles Keating; and Raymond Carver's "Cathedral," read by James Naughton.

    This space borne hive, this extinction fleet, made no attempts to communicate and offered no mercy.Humanity has always been a deadly organism, and we would not so easily be made the prey. Unified against a common enemy, we fought back, meeting the swarm with soldiers upon every front.We were resplendent in our fury, and yet, despite the terrible slaughter we visited upon the enemy, world after world still fell beneath ravenous tooth and wicked claw. For every beast slain in the field, another was swiftly hatched to take its place and humanity was faced with a grim war of attrition.After a decade of bitter galactic conflict, it was all humanity could to do slow the advance of the swarm and with each passing year we came closer to extinction.The grinding cost of war mounted. The realization set in that without a radical shift in tactics and technology the forces of humanity would run out of soldiers before it ran out of bullets.In desperate response to the real threat of total annihilation, humanity created the Einherjar. Fearless new warriors with frightening new weapons who were sent to fight the wolves at the gate.

    The Empty House is about being in love with the wrong man; The Day of the Storm is about discovering family—and its secrets; and Under Gemini is about deception. A wonderful new omnibus edition of three full-length novels by one of America's favorites.

    Under the guise of finding cryptid animals, Ace Corporation sends Alex Klasse, a Cryptozoologist and university professor, his associates, and a band of mercenaries to explore the Lost World of Patagonia. The crew boards a nuclear powered All-Terrain Tracked Carrier and takes a harrowing ride into the unknown.The expedition soon discovers prehistoric creatures still exist. But the dangers won't prevent a sub-team from leaving the group in search of rare jewels. Tensions run high as personalities clash, and man proves to be just as deadly as the dinosaurs that roam the countryside.Lost World of Patagonia is a prehistoric thriller filled with murder, mayhem, and savage dinosaur action.*Updated and revised 11/24/2015

    These are real peoples' accounts of the creepy and the occult--of their near-misses with madmen and paranormal entities. Each chapter is a short, stand alone campfire tale, a retelling of a frightening or gruesome incident that has stuck with the teller, something that gives them pause to this day when they find themselves alone in the dark. These stories have been collected with the knowledge that real life is scarier than fiction. Read with caution.