When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man


Edward T. Welch - 1997
    Instead of a biblically guided fear of the Lord, we fear others. Of course, the “fear of man” goes by other names. When we are in our teens, it is called “peer pressure.” When we are older, it is called “people-pleasing.” Recently, it has been called “codependency.” With these labels in mind, we can spot the fear of man everywhere. Diagnosis is fairly straightforward. - Have you ever struggled with peer pressure? “Peer pressure” is simply a euphemism for the fear of man. - Are you over-committed? Do you find that it is hard to say no even when wisdom indicates that you should? Are you are a “people-pleaser,” another euphemism for the fear of man ? - Do you “need” something from your spouse? Do you “need” your spouse to listen to you? Respect you? Think carefully here. Certainly God is pleased when there is good communication and a mutual honor between spouses. But for many people, the desire for these things has roots in something that is far from God’s design for his image-bearers. Unless you understand the biblical parameters of marital commitment, your spouse will become the one you fear. Your spouse will control you. Your spouse will quietly take the place of God in your life. - Is self-esteem a critical concern for you? This, at least in the United States, is the most popular way that the fear of other people is expressed. If self-esteem is a recurring theme for you, chances are that your life revolves around what others think. You reverence or fear their opinions. You need them to buttress your sense of well-being and identity. You need them to fill you up. - Do you ever feel as if you might be exposed as an impostor? Many business executives and apparently successful people do. The sense of being exposed is an expression of the fear of man. It means that the opinions of other people — especially their possible opinion that you are a failure — are able to control you. - Are you always second-guessing decisions because of what other people might think? Are you afraid of making mistakes that will make you look bad in other people’s eyes? - Do you feel empty or meaningless? Do you experience “love hunger”? Here again, if you need others to fill you, you are controlled by them. - Do you get easily embarrassed? If so, people and their perceived opinions probably define you. Or, to use biblical language, you exalt the opinions of others to the point where you are ruled by them. THE problem is clear: People are too big in our lives and God is too small. The answer is straightforward: We must learn to know that our God is more loving and more powerful than we ever imagined. Yet this task is not easy. Even if we worked at the most spectacular of national parks, or the bush in our backyard started burning without being consumed, or Jesus appeared and wrestled a few rounds with us, we would not be guaranteed a persistent reverence of God. Too often our mountain-top experiences are quickly overtaken by the clamor of the world, and God once again is diminished in our minds. The goal is to establish a daily tradition of growing in the knowledge of God.

Relationships: A Mess Worth Making


Timothy S. Lane - 2006
    With penetrating insight and practical applications, Relationships: A Mess Worth Making identifies how to work through the most stubborn problems that plague any contemporary relationship - be it marriage, parent-child, or friendship.

The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict


Ken Sande - 1990
    Serious, divisive conflict is everywhere-within families, in the church, and out in the world. And it can seem impossible to overcome its negative force in our lives. In The Peacemaker, Ken Sande presents a comprehensive and practical theology for conflict resolution designed to bring about not only a cease-fire but also unity and harmony. Sande takes readers beyond resolving conflicts to true, life-changing reconciliation with family members, coworkers, and fellow believers.Biblically based, The Peacemaker is full of godly wisdom and useful suggestions that are easily applied to any relationship needing reconciliation. Sande's years of experience as an attorney and as president of Peacemaker Ministries will strengthen readers' confidence as they stand in the gap as peacemakers.

Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul


John Eldredge - 2001
    Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires-aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy." It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be-dangerous, passionate, alive, and free!

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: Unleash a Revolution in Your Life In Christ


Peter Scazzero - 2006
    Even though he was pastor of a growing church, he did what most people do:Avoid conflict in the name of ChristianityIgnore his anger, sadness, and fearUse God to run from GodLive without boundariesEventually God awakened him to a biblical integration of emotional health, a relationship with Jesus, and the classic practices of contemplative spirituality. It created nothing short of a spiritual revolution, utterly transforming him and his church.In this book Scazzero outlines his journey and the signs of emotionally unhealthy spirituality. Then he provides seven biblical, reality-tested ways to break through to the revolutionary life Christ meant for you.“The combination of emotional health and contemplative spirituality,” he says, “unleashes the Holy Spirit inside us so that we might experientially know the power of an authentic life in Christ.”

Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands: People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change


Paul David Tripp - 2002
    God radically changes people, and he offers us the opportunity--and the ability, by his power--to be involved in that change. We can live not just as grateful objects of his love but as effective instruments of his love in the lives of the people around us. Have you been satisfied by too little? Content with small changes in your life and the lives of others? Unsure of how to help others and uncomfortable when you encounter their needs? You don't need to start with a strategy or technique, Tripp argues--you need a renewed imagination! Only then can you grasp what is real but unseen and live accordingly. The kingdom of God is near, and it takes us far beyond our personal situations and relationships, making ordinary people a part of God's extraordinary plan for the world. This guidebook shows us how.

Ordering Your Private World


Gordon MacDonald - 1983
    But what about organizing the other side of our lives—the spiritual side?One of the great battlegrounds of the new century is within the private world of the individual.The values of our Western culture incline us to believe that the busy, publicly active person in ministry  is also the most spiritual.Tempted to give imbalanced attention to the public world at the expense of the private, we become involved in more programs, more meetings. Our massive responsibilities at home, work, and church have resulted in a lot of good people on the verge of collapse.In this timely update of his classic Ordering Your Private World, Gordon MacDonald equips a new generation to live life from the inside out, cultivating the inner victory necessary for public effectiveness.

The Bondage Breaker


Neil T. Anderson - 1990
    >The Bondage Breaker leads readers away from the shadows and shackles in their lives and toward the freedom that comes when they realize they have the right to be free confront the power of Satan fight the temptation to do it their way trade deception for grace affirm their identity in Christ

12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You


Tony Reinke - 2017
    Never offline, always within reach, we now wield in our hands a magic wand of technological power we have only begun to grasp. But it raises new enigmas, too. Never more connected, we seem to be growing more distant. Never more efficient, we have never been more distracted. Drawing from the insights of numerous thinkers, published studies, and his own research, writer Tony Reinke identifies twelve potent ways our smartphones have changed us—for good and bad. Reinke calls us to cultivate wise thinking and healthy habits in the digital age, encouraging us to maximize the many blessings, to avoid the various pitfalls, and to wisely wield the most powerful gadget of human connection ever unleashed.

Humble Roots: How Humility Grounds and Nourishes Your Soul


Hannah Anderson - 2016
    It's a route made famous by natural beauty and the simple rhythms of rural life.And it's in this setting that Hannah Anderson began her exploration of what it means to pursue a life of peace and humility. Fighting back her own sense of restlessness and anxiety, she finds herself immersed in the world outside, discovering a classroom full of forsythia, milkweed, and a failed herb garden. Lessons about soil preparation, sour mulch, and grapevine blights reveal the truth about our dependence on God, finding rest, and fighting discontentment.Humble Roots is part theology of incarnation and part stroll through the fields and forest. Anchored in the teaching of Jesus, Anderson explores how cultivating humility - not scheduling, strict boundaries, or increased productivity - leads to peace. "Come unto me, all who labor and are heavy laden," Jesus invites us, "and you will find rest for your souls."So come. Learn humility from the lilies of the field and from the one who is humility himself. Remember who you are and who you are not, and rediscover the rest that comes from belonging to him.

The Cry of the Soul: How Our Emotions Reveal Our Deepset Questions about God


Dan B. Allender - 1994
    I should know. I first read The Cry of the Soul decades ago when I was still sorting through a lot of hurt and frustration connected with my quadriplegia (yes, I read it on that music stand holding a mouth stick). The Cry of the Soul showed me what to do with my anger and hurt--not stuff it under the carpet of my conscience, or minimize it, but actually do something good with it."All emotion--whether positive or negative--can give us a glimpse of the true nature of God. We want to control our negative emotions and dark desires. God wants us to recognize them as the cry of our soul to be made right with Him. Beginning with the Psalms, Cry of the Soul explores what Scripture says about our darker emotions and points us to ways of honoring God as we faithfully embrace the full range of our emotional life.

How People Grow: What the Bible Reveals About Personal Growth


Henry Cloud - 2001
    Yet the issues in our lives and relationships that we wish would change often stay the same, even with our best efforts at spiritual growth. What does it take to experience increasing strength and depth in our spiritual walk, our marriages and family lives and friendships, our personal development--in everything life is about? And how can we help others move into growth that is profound and lasting?Unpacking the practical and passionate theology that forms the backbone of their counseling, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend shatter popular misconceptions about how God operates to reveal how growth really happens.You'll discover:What the essential processes are that make people grow.How those processes fit into a biblical understanding of spiritual growth and theology.How spiritual growth and real-life issues are one and the same.What the responsibilities are of pastors, counselors, and others who assist people in growingWhat your own responsibilities are in your personal growth.Shining focused light on the great doctrines and themes of Christianity, How People Grow helps you understand the Bible in a way that will help you head with confidence down the high road of growth in Christ.Workbook also available.

You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit


James K.A. Smith - 2016
    But you might not love what you think.In this book, award-winning author James K. A. Smith shows that who and what we worship fundamentally shape our hearts. And while we desire to shape culture, we are not often aware of how culture shapes us. We might not realize the ways our hearts are being taught to love rival gods instead of the One for whom we were made. Smith helps readers recognize the formative power of culture and the transformative possibilities of Christian practices. He explains that worship is the "imagination station" that incubates our loves and longings so that our cultural endeavors are indexed toward God and his kingdom. This is why the church and worshiping in a local community of believers should be the hub and heart of Christian formation and discipleship.Following the publication of his influential work Desiring the Kingdom, Smith received numerous requests from pastors and leaders for a more accessible version of that book's content. No mere abridgment, this new book draws on years of Smith's popular presentations on the ideas presented in Desiring the Kingdom to offer a fresh, bottom-up rearticulation. The author creatively uses film, literature, and music illustrations to engage readers and includes material on marriage, family, youth ministry, and faith and work. He also suggests individual and communal practices for shaping the Christian life.

The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery


Ian Morgan Cron - 2016
    Do you want help figuring out who you are and why you're stuck in the same ruts? The Enneagram is an ancient personality typing system with an uncanny accuracy in describing how human beings are wired, both positively and negatively. In The Road Back to You Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile forge a unique approach―a practical, comprehensive way of accessing Enneagram wisdom and exploring its connections with Christian spirituality for a deeper knowledge of ourselves, compassion for others, and love for God. Witty and filled with stories, this book allows you to peek inside each of the nine Enneagram types, keeping you turning the pages long after you have read the chapter about your own number. Not only will you learn more about yourself, but you will also start to see the world through other people's eyes, understanding how and why people think, feel, and act the way they do. Beginning with changes you can start making today, the wisdom of the Enneagram can help take you further along into who you really are―leading you into places of spiritual discovery you would never have found on your own, and paving the way to the wiser, more compassionate person you want to become.

The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe about Ourselves


Curt Thompson - 2015
    Its name is shame.Whether we realize it or not, shame affects every aspect of our personal lives and vocational endeavors. It seeks to destroy our identity in Christ, replacing it with a damaged version of ourselves that results in unhealed pain and brokenness. But God is telling a different story for your life.Psychiatrist Curt Thompson unpacks the soul of shame, revealing its ubiquitous nature and neurobiological roots. He also provides the theological and practical tools necessary to dismantle shame, based on years of researching its damaging effects and counseling people to overcome those wounds.Thompson's expertise and compassion will help you identify your own pains and struggles and find freedom from the lifelong negative messages that bind you. Rewrite the story of your life and embrace healing and wholeness as you discover and defeat shame's insidious agenda.