Bumper to Bumper is newer, longer, and better, touting mostly original stories that include the time Doug crashed his brand-new Porsche company car into a tree, the real story behind the time Doug crushed a Chrysler PT Cruiser, the time Doug bribed a government official in South Africa, the time Doug got detained at the Canadian border on an automotive press trip, and the story of Doug’s relationship with automakers. Also, Doug wrote this description himself in the third person.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    

    There are no granny panties in this drawer!He picks up a pair of my NASA engineered favourites and insisted, "These are granny panties."No they are not!" I protested, "Granny panties are cotton, with flowers all over them and come up to your armpits." I grabbed my daily favourites out of his hand, "These are a modern-day wonder! They hide years of not doing sit-ups every day, cellulite dimples, Big Macs with extra sauce and muffin belly! My grandmother never had panties like this!"Call them what you want. They are modern-day granny panties" he informs me.Putting them back in the drawer I thought, "I would have to join a gym if I ever gave these beauties up."Anyway it got me to thinking. So I made a visit to a lingerie store. Maybe my underwear drawer did need some updating.The walls of the store were lined with massive posters of girls who don't eat so they can wear lace without tummy control panels. Looking at their photo-shopped abs didn't inspire me to drop to the floor and do a hundred sit-ups it just made me want to hold them down and force feed them hamburgers.The 20 something sales girl came over with her size 0 figure and asked if I needed help. "I am looking to update my underwear drawer" I tell her, "I am looking for something that is comfortable but... sexy." I know in her head she's thinking "Sex at her age! Wow good for her!"First she shows me the wall of underwear designed to turn on perverts. "No, that's not what I am looking for" and we move along to the "School girl" underwear to turn on pedophiles. "That's not me either" I tell her. Then she shows me the "new" line just in that week with the red or black fur around the waistband. "Doesn't that show through your dress pants?" I ask her. "Oh, you don't wear anything over these ones." That ought to make my work day more interesting I thought to myself.Then she brings out the most dreaded, torturous devise knows to woman... the G-String!I tried a pair once and I looked like a summo wrestler. Even I laughed when I looked in the mirror. It brought back a memory to me. I was doing a two-day course at university. Before the course started the students were standing around the back of the class chatting and getting to know one another. I met this lovely lady who told me she was 60-years-old and was doing the course out of interest. When it was time to sit down, she sat in front of me and to my horror she was wearing low-cut jeans that revealed a tattooed pair of eyes above her butt cheeks but the worst part, she was wearing a silver thong.It was like a car crash, I couldn't look away. For seven hours the droopy eyes on her butt watched me, staring at me, scarring me for life. Every time she put up her hand to ask a question her hips shifted and her butt winked at me. The sliver G-string thread around her waist looked like a disco Hippie headband. I would never be able to look at a G-string without thinking of her butt eye balling me."I don't do fanny-floss" I told her. I need something comfortable. "Maybe you should go to Walmart" she says. "Maybe you should go to hell" I thought in my head.With her sales commission still in my wallet, I left and called hubby from my cell phone in the car."Ok I am willing to compromise. Wh

    Hopping from the Hamptons to the Manhattan dating world, the dog park to the red carpet, Cardinals superfan and mama’s boy Andy Cohen, with Wacha in tow, is the kind of star that fans are dying to be friends with. This book gives them that chance.If The Andy Cohen Diaries was deemed “the literary equivalent of a Fresca and tequila” by Jimmy Fallon, Superficialis a double: dishier, juicier, and friskier. In this account of his escapades—personal, professional, and behind-the-scenes—Andy tells us not only what goes down, but exactly what he thinks of it.

    Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

    It contains 100,000 books, spread over a mile of shelving, with twisting corridors and roaring fires, and all set in a beautiful, rural town by the edge of the sea. A book-lover's paradise? Well, almost ... In these wry and hilarious diaries, Shaun provides an inside look at the trials and tribulations of life in the book trade, from struggles with eccentric customers to wrangles with his own staff, who include the ski-suit-wearing, bin-foraging Nicky. He takes us with him on buying trips to old estates and auction houses, recommends books (both lost classics and new discoveries), introduces us to the thrill of the unexpected find, and evokes the rhythms and charms of small-town life, always with a sharp and sympathetic eye.

    * The hilarious, heartwarming and surprisingly inspiring account of one BBC Breakfast TV presenter's secret passion for bees...!

    But could it lead to more?InesWhen my eccentric rich godmother asks me to housesit her penthouse and look after her pampered pooch, I figure this is the perfect time for me to write one of those steamy romances I always snuck read during boring college courses. After this, it’s time to join the real world, which means a real boring office job.That all changes when I meet the handsome next door neighbor. He makes a proposition better than any plot twist I could write.MilesI need a wife. Not because that Jane Austen chick said it was a truth universally acknowledged that a single man of good fortune blah, blah, blah. But according to my CFO, I do need someone who will dazzle my investors. I tell him to take a hike.That is until I meet the new girl next door. Witty and gorgeous, Ines immediately steals my heart. But how can I make her see my feelings are real? How can I prove I'm better than the heroes in her books?Bride for the Billionaire is a series of short, sweet, and steamy instalove romantic comedies. Check it out if you like alpha billionaires and curvy women who go into marriage for practical reasons but find much more: true love. No cliffhangers, no cheating, HEA guaranteed!

    On a remote island in the middle of the ocean, three families compete to win Washed Up! - the biggest, baddest reality TV show on the planet! How will the families adapt and survive in such hostile conditions? Which family will gain the most votes and win the competition?

    Sure, the fat cat’s slobbering sidekick may be a few dog biscuits shy of a box, but he’s all heart – or is that all tongue? Odie’s fetched his favorite strips and quips for this comical canine collection, so enjoy! Just watch out for dog breath!

    With a 24/7 news cycle reporting that the polar ice caps are melting, hurricanes are swirling in the seas, wars are heating up around the world, and the job market is in a deep freeze, it's tempting to feel that the world is falling apart. But awesome things are all around us-sometimes we just need someone to point them out.The Book of Awesome reminds us that the best things in life are free (yes, your grandma was right). With laugh-out-loud observations from award- winning comedy writer Neil Pasricha, The Book of Awesome is filled with smile-inducing moments on every page that make you feel like a kid looking at the world for the first time. Read it and you'll remember all the things there are to feel good about. The Book of Awesome reminds us of all the little things that we often overlook but that make us smile. With touching, warm, and funny observations, each entry ends with the big booming feeling you'll get when you read through them: AWESOME!

    He has been creating trouble and evoking laughter since January 1983, issue Tinkle 27. He’s a total goof and will make you laugh with his silly antics. Suppandi has had multiple jobs however none of them have lasted very long. He takes instructions from his employers, applies his own literal logic to them and causes total mayhem. The character of Suppandi is based on a Tamil folklore character, Chappandi. Ram Waeerkar, the legendary Tinkle artist gave form to Suppandi. Currently, his daughter, Archana Amberkar, illustrates the strip.Meet the Cool CastMaddy: Suppandi’s best friend who often gives him advice and nearly always regrets it, but he is the only one who will stick with Suppandi and bears his gaffes.Soupy: Suppandi’s admirer, who usually has Suppandi fleeing her attentions.Frooty: Suppandi’s crush, she is the only one who understands the intent behind Suppandi’s actions and so always has a smile for SuppandiAbout TinkleContinuously published since 1980, Tinkle is one of the oldest and most cherished children’s comics magazines in India. It boasts of a large fan following and beloved characters that include such household names as Suppandi, Shikari Shambu and Tantri the Mantri.

    

    I’ve got three words for her. Bah freaking humbug. I hate Christmas. For the last 10 years, I’ve hated everything. Except for my girls. Perfect twins with their mother’s eyes. They want me to move on, but I’m too damaged to listen. Until Niki. Her sass makes my temper rise along with my mammoth… ego. And when I see her delicious curves under that dress, I want to bend her over her party plans and show her what’s waiting in her stocking this year. But giving her what she wants means letting go of the past, And I’m not ready to forget. I’ve got billions to keep me warm, I don’t need Niki too. Except I can’t imagine life without her. Time to turn my bah humbugs into Christmas kisses. Even bums like me need someone to love. I just hope I’m not too late... "Mine on Christmas" is a full length standalone romance with no cheating and no cliffhangers, but with plenty of steam and a HEA. I've also included a preview of my billionaire romance "Accidentally His" for you! - Sarah J. Brooks (USA Today Bestselling Author)