They're so ridiculous you may think they're fiction. Like the time I went to a drive-in X-rated movie without realizing my parents were in the next car. Or the time I let my kid throw a rock through our living room window. There's the time I bought a camouflage thong in a bait shop and the time I ruined a kid's birthday party. And the other time I ruined a kid's birthday party. I can't guarantee that these stories will make you laugh, but I can guarantee that I didn't make them up.

    

    He lived his life happily as a bricklayer and grew up and honest man who loved soccer. In his 60s, he set about the long and arduous process of trying to find out who his real parents were. After much searching he discovered the family who had given him up for adoption and met up with them. He also scheduled to meet with the man he believed to be his half-brother; this man, it turned out, was the noted novelist Ian McEwan, author of Atonement and On Chesil Beach. A shocking revelation concerning a family affair that had long lain hidden was soon unearthed, and Dave learned that Ian was in fact his full brother. This is the amazing and heartwarming story of a sons wish to find his family, and two men gaining the brother that they had always wished for.

    . . I guarantee 254 pages of pure pleasure." -- Ann Landers"Strikingly honest . . . [Buchwald] grew up in orphanages and foster homes and never knew his mother who, shortly after he was born, entered a mental hospital and spent the rest of her life there . . . . But instead of becoming a sociopath, Buchwald became a professional funnyman and a national figure whose columns skewer pretense and politicians . . . . Score one for humor as a means of survival." -- The Washington Post Book World"

    Did you know that there are one million earthworms in an acre of soil, or that an average American eats 10 pounds of marshmallows in a year? Did you know that the act of yawning and stretching at the same time is known as pandiculation?These facts, and hundreds more in a wide variety of subjects including history, science, sports, music and more, make Hmm...I Did Not Know That a must read for trivia buffs and fact fanatics.

     Who’s afraid of the Ginger Bread Man? Why do police like big busts? How can a priest assist in a violent robbery? When does Hitler figure in police negotiations? Why can making mashed potato get you arrested? When do police deploy the banana phone? What happens when you die if CSI don’t like you? Come on patrol with PC Donoghue and discover the funny, interesting and bizarre side of life on the front line of British policing. Police, Arrests & Suspects is the third fascinating account of a front line police response officer in ‘The True Story of a Front Line Officer’ series. John’s books remain hugely popular today, with over 600 5-star Amazon reviews combined. WARNING: Contains Humour & Traces of Nuts

    Using Cohen's trademark style-with tips, statistics, quotes, and stories from parents and students, as well as expert advice-this guide tackles the most important topics on parents''minds, including:• What parents should never say or do when dropping their child off on campus• Staying connected (but not too connected) to your child• When to visit, how often to visit, what to expect when visiting• Helping your child make good choices & supporting the wrong ones• What every parent must know about safety issues

    Proper hard bastards, wannabe villains and cockney wide boys everywhere you went, all looking to make their mark. With trouble at home and more at school, Danny Dyer didn't have many options. He was a rascal, running with a tough crowd, getting himself into scrapes with the Old Bill, on the verge of becoming just another nobody. Until he started to act.It came naturally to him. He landed role after role, working with big stars, making a name for himself. And then came Human Traffic, and his career went into overdrive. Fame opened doors into the best clubs, the best booze and even better drugs. But with the highs came the lows, and as the drinks flowed, the work dried up. Shut out of an industry that didn't understand him, that heard his reputation before bothering with his talent, he had no choice but to turn it around and sort himself out. This is the real story - straight up.Funny, honest, full of swagger, and jammed full of antics and anecdotes, this memoir tears it up proper and delivers on every page.

    The table of contents reads more like a menu at a good restaurant, where there’s something for everyone’s taste. Each of the 18 chapters tells a unique story about an overlooked or unusual aspect of royal history, spanning centuries and countries, but in no particular order. From first to last, they will take you on a journey through royal history you’ve probably never seen or thought of before. In few – if any – other books will you find the British Monarchy compared to London’s sewer system, or read of the challenges of finding a suitable husband for a 200-plus pound Victorian princess who was nonetheless a “remarkably light dancer.” Rarely are the lives of historic and modern royals from Queen Victoria and Catherine the Great to Prince Charles and Crown Prince Frederick of Denmark “illustrated” not by paintings but by tattoos. Even more intimate topics, like the practice of circumcision among royals – including Princes William and Harry – are explored for the sake of inquiring minds. Chances are, even readers who usually find historic royalty boring and stuffy or modern royalty anachronistic and detached will find something to enjoy. Who wouldn’t feel a bit satisfied reading about a celebrated 19th century courtesan being paid to steal the thunder of an old and frumpy queen just to prove that queens are expected to be beautiful? It can also be quite amusing to find that a supposedly formal portrait of the current British Royal Family holds hidden, enigmatic clues to family dynamics and individual personalities that amuse and baffle.In short (much like the Court dwarfs you’ll read about), this book will leave you with a sense that you not only know royal history – and enjoy it – but that you have also journeyed through it and know the royals personally, from who exterminates their palaces right down to their infamous last words."I enjoyed these essays on royalty, which range widely from the beauty of Queens to court dwarfs and royal circumcision. Readers will find an impressively wide span of history enjoyably investigated." – Hugo VickersHugo Vickers, author of “Behind Closed Doors: The Tragic, Untold Story of The Duchess of Windsor,” is a writer and broadcaster who has written biographies of many twentieth century figures.

    Throughout the shift, the dispatcher is faced with stabbings, robberies, medical calls, fights, and a variety of other calls. There is no telling what the next call will bring. Some of the calls faced by the dispatcher are heinous, some are tragic, and some are a complete waste of time.You will get to see what life is really like for a 911 dispatcher. While some of the details have been modified to protect the identity of those involved, this books was inspired by true and actual calls handled by a 911 dispatcher.Warning: This book contains some adult language and topics.

    It may be hard to believe but it was against the background of all this that Eamonn won the WBU world welterweight and Commonwealth light welterweight titles. The author, Paul Gibson, has managed to decipher a very dark, very troubled, very flawed individual who happened to have an exceptional gift to box at the highest world level. The Lost Soul of Eamonn Magee reads like the screenplay of the kind of gritty rags-to-riches-to-rags boxing story that Hollywood producers seem to love.

    This collection provides a complete picture of the man, his influence, and the impact of his life and death on his fans. Color photos. 72 b&w photos.

    Little did she know that her journey down under would take a dark turn which left her stranded 10,000 miles from home trying to piece back together the fragments of her now broken life. After working hard towards her dreams of becoming a clinical psychologist, Aly had a sudden realisation that there must be something more out there away from the books she had been burying her head into for the past 3 years. She decided to hang her degree on the wall and book a one-way ticket to Australia, a decision which would change her entire life. Through the relationships she made, the jobs she took and the landscapes she wandered, Aly reveals her full story for the first time. Behind her YouTube videos and blog posts remained a deep dark secret that she was never ready to share, until now.

    Kerry Stokes is a remarkable Australian. Not because he is one of this country's wealthiest and most powerful people but because of what he overcame to get there and because he has endured when others didn't. He is the last mogul. His rise has intrigued the business world for decades but there is so much more to him than takeover targets and balance sheets. Behind the laconic front is a human story as tough and touching as a Dickens tale: Oliver Twist with great self-expectations. It is the story of a poor boy who stared down poverty, ignorance and the stigma of his birth to achieve great wealth and fulfilment. A compelling story that, until now, he has not told. Now he oversees a multi-billion dollar media, machinery and property empire. He is renowned for his art collection and for philanthropy, spending millions of dollars to buy Victoria Crosses from soldiers' families to donate to the Australian War Memorial. But he's a private man. A man apart. He made his name in the West but kept his distance from the buccaneering band of entrepreneurs who forged fabulous fortunes in Perth from the 1960s until the 1987 crash. Bond went to jail, Holmes a Court died; Connell did both. Lesser lights flickered and faded but Stokes grew stronger, becoming a player alongside Murdoch, Packer and Lowy. His story fascinates all the more because he has spent most of his life guarding it. But now he's telling it, to one of Australia's great storytellers. This book will tell his story, scars and all.

    and without chasing after clients!In The Rookie Copywriter’s Survival Guide, master copywriter and serial entrepreneur Doberman Dan, shows how anybody with just mediocre... or even NO copywriting skills... can make a LOT of money in a very short period of time.This isn’t the typical “pay your dues and work for peanuts” advice often given to rookie copywriters or people who are thinking of getting into the business of copywriting. It’s a unique way you can get paid... and paid very well... while you learn the craft of direct response copywriting.Dan reveals the exact plan he used to break free from a low paying dead-end job and went on to make MILLIONS while becoming one of the most in-demand copywriters in the country. Dan has used his copywriting skills to “bootstrap” numerous businesses over the past 20 years... with nothing but a yellow notepad, pen and the gray matter between his ears. Time and time again... in a plethora of markets and niches.You’ll discover the highly profitable secrets from a battle-hardened grizzled veteran entrepreneur, marketer and copywriter that can only be gained from decades of hard-won “in the trenches” experience.Who is Doberman Dan?After twelve years as a full-time inner city police officer and 9 years of part-time consecutive entrepreneurial failures, Dan finally discovered the secrets of the most successful copywriters and direct marketers in the world. After his 9 years of “trial by fire” business failures, he finally “hit a home run” in the mail order business. He went on to apply his successful marketing and copywriting experience to online marketing... for his own businesses and also as a consultant to some of the most successful businesses in the country.