Constable Wood was a disaster waiting to happen. He was the sort of cop who was happier helping little old ladies across the street (even when they were quite content where they were) than pursuing the perpetrators of dreadful deeds. But if he failed to strike fear into the hearts of the criminal underworld, his superiors had a real problem on their hands. Never before had they been forced to deal with such a well-meaning but accident-prone officer and they hoped, fervently, never to see his like again. From his early encounters with a less-than-impressed public, through the terrifying days of the Springbok Tour riots, to the gradual realisation that perhaps he wasn’t cut out for life on the beat, this is the hilarious story of a young cop who created a severe disturbance in the force.

    They cannot skin a fish, dominate a battlefield, or transform majestic creatures of the Southern Hemisphere into piano keyboards.The Heming Way demonstrates how modern eunuchs—brainwashed by PETA and Alcoholics Anonymous—can learn from Papa's unparalleled example: drunken, unshaven, meat-devouring, wife-divorcing, and gloriously self-destructive.Advice includes:How to kill enough animals to render a species endangered—just like Papa!Getting your friends to think drinking a daiquiri is manly . . . just by drinking one nine yourselfAchieving sufficiently high testosterone levels to never have to worry about the chance of having a daughter instead of a sonAnd much more!Profane, insightful, hilarious and loaded with more than 150 photos, facts and insights about Papa, The Heming Way is a difficult path, and not for the weak, but truth is manlier than fiction.

    With over a billion views and millions of subscribers to his name, he is the undisputed king of social media. But despite this success he is a self-confessed bell-end. Excessively posting selfies, oversharing about his dead nan, spending all day scouring Tinder and suffering from red-hot Fifa rage, are just some of his undesirable online habits. However, with acceptance comes salvation and now KSI is blowing the doors off the internet to find the cure. No one is spared, as KSI takes down fellow YouTubers, trolls, paedos, Tinder catfishers and Nigerian scammers in an all-out assault on the online universe. Along the way he also reveals how to become a YouTube kingpin as well as his hot Fifa tips, before he unveils his online revolution to help save the next generation from his fate.So, if you want to avoid becoming a total bell-end, then calm your tits, and simply take the medicine KSI is dishing up.

    She started with great expectations by shopping for shoes in Paris, attempted to build her character by going solo, counted her friends on the fingers of both hands, remembered a dodgy handshake with Hugh Jackman, joined a laughing yoga group in Mumbai, drank too much rosé and ate too much salt.By the end of the year she was, much to her own surprise, in possession of a clean bill of health and the secret to happiness. No, not THE SECRET. That’s not even a secret anymore. Another one, which is also now no longer a secret because in the endearing, hilarious Screw You Dolores, she shares it with you.

    The joys and travails of building a home in Baja California.

    Like a wise and witty friend, Kerry leads you through the rough spots of life by poking gentle fun in such a vivacious way that you’ll be smiling at your own foibles. You’ll laugh out loud—and be moved to tears—as you discover some of life’s greatest truths hidden within these simple pages. Reclaim your sanity and enrich your soul with this humorous and poignant anthology that celebrates the joy of being alive and shows how greatly each of us is blessed."

    There, would-be players shared their field reports, strategies, and results. They compared notes, exchanged critiques, and figured out a body of knowledge that defied everything men had ever been told about getting women--what has since come to be known as "game."The undisputed king of the field report was a player named "jlaix." This was the handle of Jeff Allen, who would go on to be a founding member of Real Social Dynamics with Tyler Durden and Papa, all of whom play major roles in Neil Strauss's "The Game," the bestselling expose of the world of pickup artists. In an arena founded on one-upmanship, Jeff Allen did it bigger and better than anyone. "Get Laid or Die Trying" presents in utterly shameless, hilarious, and graphic detail, Jeffy's gritty, 100 percent real, and jaw-droppingly astonishing feats of seduction, revealing exactly how one goes about: - Attracting the girl you want by sleeping with all of her friends- Getting into the pants of the hottest girl at the party--a total stranger--in less than thirty minutes- Deflecting last-minute resistance with a single word- Pulling a chick who is surrounded by ten jealous guys- Cutting out enormous dudes that could easily pound you to a "fine red mist"- Getting threesomes as your default extraction- Having a stable so big you have to trim it down, and other "quality problems"- Convincing a girl you just met that before you fuck her, she must mow your lawn Jeff's tactics produce superhuman results, yet he doesn't do anything you couldn't do--now that you've seen it done. The worst part? You could have been doing this your whole life.

    The result was a classic column full of Bombecks signature wit and warmth. Now the beloved column that has hung on hundreds of refrigerator doors has been cheerily illustrated and designed as a handsome gift book, Eat Less Cottage and More Ice Cream. In it, Bombeck gently reminds us of what is really important in life: If I had my life to live over again I would have waxed less and listened more.I would have cried and laughed less while watching television . . . and more while watching real life.But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it . . . look at it and really see it . . . try it on . . . live it . . . exhaust it . . . and never give that minute back until there was nothing left of it. . . . Long-time fans of Erma Bombeck will be thrilled to have this favorite column in the form of a beautiful keepsake. Readers discovering Bombeck for the first time will become fans instantly. Eat Less Cottage and More Ice Cream offers wisdom to inspire all of us.

    She ministers alongside her husband, Pastor John Osteen, at Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas, known as "An Oas

    Unfortunately, in trying to help develop these traits, parents can increase their children’s anxiety and make them afraid of making mistakes without realising it. Raising Confident Kids will equip you to avoid common pitfalls and create positive parenting habits. Bestselling parenting coach Nadim Saad draws on the latest research in child psychology, neuroscience and the Growth Mindset to offer parents 10 practical ways to nurture their children's self-esteem and ensure that they grow to become happy and confident adults. Discover the 5 typical mistakes that can affect children's self-esteem and how to avoid them Quickly learn and apply step-by-step solutions to grow your children's confidence and self-esteem Help your children develop a Growth Mindset so that they embrace new challenges and are unafraid of making mistakes Gain practical understanding of how to apply these tips and techniques to family life thanks to real-life examples

    The autobiography of the most troubled footballer of modern times.

    After three decades of fatherhood, there are certain things he has learned during his tenure. His way of raising his children involves, of course, lots of humor (don't curse near a mimicking child), but also the sound advice of a lifelong educator (you can't start reading to a baby too early). With PAPADADDY'S BOOK FOR NEW FATHERS, a great storyteller shares his wisdom with other dads, young and old alike. Writing from experience, observation, and his vivid imagination, Clyde Edgerton conveys both caution and joy--mostly joy.

    A new memoir from the author of Irish bestseller Staring at Lakes, which was received the Book of the Year Award at the BGE Irish Book Awards 2013

    Barry's set of experiences with these legends of humour is unique, and will delight all who made PIGS CAN FLY a runaway porcine bestseller. In this completely new, organically grown book, old Baz recalls, reminisces, recounts and other words beginning with 'R', on a trip down Memory Lane, pausing only for tea and macaroons at the Stannah Stairlift Cafe. What memories - if only he can remember them. Currently 74, a third of his life has already passed and he invites you to enjoy this wonderfully funny account of it, a decorous orgy of nostalgia.

    With these characters William will make us laugh and cry. And never again will we think that someone is just a regular bloke - everyone can be a king or a queen in their own suburb.