Like the radio series, but with added jokes, extra bits of story, additional dimensions to characters and masses more paper. Unless you're reading it as an e-book in which case... masses more digital information bits.Bleak Expectations recounts the remarkable adventures of young Pip Bin as he tries to repair his destroyed family and distinctly damaged life, aided by his best friend Harry Biscuit and definitely not aided by his cruel and ironically named guardian Mr Gently Benevolent and his accomplices, the fearsome Hardthrasher siblings.Weep! As Pip is sent to Britain's nastiest boarding school, St Bastard's.Gasp! As the true extent of his despicable guardian's plan becomes clear.Worry! As our hero is committed to the Workhouse, where he meets the hideous poverty-punishments of the treadmill, the grindstone and the painwheel.Sigh! As Pip finds love with London's most eligible frail beauty, Miss Flora Dies-Early.Find a tenterhook and sit on it!Grim circumstances, mistaken identities, unlikely inheritances, nightmarish court cases, ridiculous names, convenient coincidences to resolve plot problems, over-sentimental death scenes and lots and lots of adjectives: Bleak Expectations is the novel Charles Dickens might have written after drinking far too much gin.

    He isn't one of them. Meet Bill Ryder: programmer, gamer geek, and hopeless dweeb when it comes to women. All he ever asked for out of life was to collect his paycheck, hang out with his buds, and eventually (someday) ask out the girl of his dreams.However, then Bill met Sally. She was mysterious, aggressive, and best of all...smoking hot. Bill never stood a chance. Before he knew what was happening Sally had lead him to his death, and that was only the beginning of his troubles. Now Bill awakes to find himself an undead predator of the night. The only problem is he’s still at the bottom of the food chain. He’s in way over his head, surrounded by creatures more dangerous, better looking, and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst of all is the dreaded Night Razor, a master vampire who just can’t stand him. He gives Bill a 90-day deadline to either prove himself or meet a more permanent kind of death, and the deck is definitely stacked against him.But Bill isn’t exactly average. A vampire like him hasn’t been seen in over five centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies to help him out, and an attitude problem that makes him just too damn obnoxious to quit. He may just pull it off... if he doesn't get his teeth kicked in first.Bill the Vampire is an 80,000 word horror comedy adventure by Rick Gualtieri.

     Meet Jack Price and the Seven Demons: Doc, the evil mad scientist presently using Jack for sex; Rex, an explosives expert who doesn't ask too many questions so long as something goes boom; Volodya, a Ukrainian assassin who may or may not be a cannibal; Charlie, a comic book artist with computer skills and an anarchist bent; Lucille, whose specialty is razor-edged hugs; and Jack's predecessor, Fred, who doesn't contribute a whole lot owing to being a severed head on a stick. Finally there's Jack himself, former coffee magnate turned cocaine dealer turned First Demon, but basically just a guy trying to get along.Jack has a problem. The Seven Demons don't have a contract, and there's nothing more volatile than a gang of deadly killers with nothing to do. Luckily, a shadowy Eurotrash businessman wants them to pull off the heist of a lifetime, breaking into a bank that makes Fort Knox look like the corner candy store. Jack thinks this will be a nice little diversion for his crew . . . until a rosy-cheeked, lederhosen-wearing little psychopath named Evil Hansel stabs him with an oyster knife, and the whole situation goes completely to hell. Someone isn't playing straight, and in a game of double crosses, Jack Price will do anything--literally, anything--to come out on top

    Lynas had uncovered a terrible secret, something that threatened to devour the entire city. He tried to warn the Arcanum, the sorcerers who rule the city. He failed. Lynas was skinned alive and Walker felt every cut. Now nothing will stop him from finding the murderer. Magi, mortals, daemons, and even the gods - Walker will burn them all if he has to. After all, it wouldn't be the first time he's killed a god...

    Entire continents have been decimated time and time again at the hands of the demon hordes, forcing civilisation to start over in every instance, all culture and art and history destroyed. Now, in the last days before the gates of hell fall open again, it seems as if all efforts to avert disaster have failed, but for one small sliver of hope. A boy is found whose potential is unequalled, a boy who could hold the secret to the demons' realm, a boy who could be the very salvation of man. But not even the Order's greatest champions could guess the true secrets hidden away deep inside of this boy, secrets that could ultimately destroy them all. Commended in the Austalian Literary Awards, The Young Magician begins a remarkable tale.

    Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, plague breaks out in the streets of Sarum, and a horde of undead rises from the sacred burial mounds of the Dreamers.Prompted by a voice from the Abyss, the liche Dr. Cadman has discovered a piece of the mythical Statue of Eingana and corrupted its power, but worse than that, an ancient enemy has noticed and turns his eyes once more upon the Earth.Those with understanding know all too well the threat that hangs over Creation and have taken great pains to ward against it.

    Once the dust settles, these four find themselves faced with an impossible choice: pretend to be adventurers undertaking a task of near-certain death or see their town and loved ones destroyed. Armed only with salvaged equipment, second-hand knowledge, and a secret that could get them killed, it will take all manner of miracles if they hope to pull off their charade.And even if they succeed, the deadliest part of their journey may well be what awaits them at its end.

    Zhivana Nedrogovna, his new partner, is fresh out of the City Watch and not even human, and unsure she wants to work with the broody, angry Par.As Parshan and Zhivana rush to solve a case of mugging gone wrong that soon proves far more complex, they must learn to trust each other or this first case together might be their last.

    Caim makes his living on the edge of a blade, but when a routine job goes south, he is thrust into the middle of an insidious plot. Pitted against crooked lawmen, rival killers and sorcery from the Other Side, his only allies are Josephine, the socialite daughter of his last target, and Kit, a guardian spirit no one else can see. In this fight for his life, Caim only trusts his knives and his instincts, but they won't be enough when his quest for justice leads him from Othir's hazardous back alleys to its shining corridors of power. To unmask a conspiracy at the heart of the empire, he must claim his birthright as the Shadow's Son...

    A layer of horror will be seamlessly woven in to comedic effect: you'll meet a group of demonic, feral chimney sweeps, who first appear to victims as angelic, Christmas-card versions of urchins, before turning into agents of death.

    His favorite hostess and love interest, Connie, was murdered in the parking lot behind the club. And Zeb, the dubious plastic surgeon who implanted McEvoy's hair plugs, has disappeared. In no time at all McEvoy's got half the New Jersey mob, dirty cops and his man-crazy upstairs neighbor after him. Bullets are flying, everyone's on the take, and McEvoy still doesn't have a clue about what's happening.

    But young Locke Lamora dodges death and slavery, becoming a thief under the tutelage of a gifted con artist. As leader of the band of light-fingered brothers known as the Gentleman Bastards, Locke is soon infamous, fooling even the underworld’s most feared ruler. But in the shadows lurks someone still more ambitious and deadly. Faced with a bloody coup that threatens to destroy everyone and everything that holds meaning in his mercenary life, Locke vows to beat the enemy at his own brutal game—or die trying.

    He knows a lot about sin, and not just in his professional capacity as an advocate for souls caught between Heaven and Hell. Bobby's wrestling with a few deadly sins of his own -- pride, anger, even lust.But his problems aren't all his fault. Bobby can't entirely trust his heavenly superiors, and he's not too sure about any of his fellow earthbound angels either, especially the new kid that Heaven has dropped into their midst, a trainee angel who asks too many questions. And he sure as hell doesn't trust the achingly gorgeous Countess of Cold Hands, a mysterious she-demon who seems to be the only one willing to tell him the truth.When the souls of the recently departed start disappearing, catching both Heaven and Hell by surprise, things get bad very quickly for Bobby D. "End-of-the-world" bad. "Beast of Revelations" bad. Caught between the angry forces of Hell, the dangerous strategies of his own side, and a monstrous undead avenger that wants to rip his head off and suck out his soul, Bobby's going to need all the friends he can get--in Heaven, on Earth, or anywhere else he can find them.You've never met an angel like Bobby Dollar. And you've never read anything like The Dirty Streets of Heaven. Brace yourself -- the afterlife is weirder than you ever believed.

    Nothing overtly mean, just uneducated folks.One of the stories is new for this edition.