Each story goes off like a tiny depth charge in the mind, leaving you with the trace memory of some new urban myth - comic, absurd and disturbingly true.

    Her dad’s not really a homosexual. He just acts like it. Her mom, however, really is a hypochondriac), Sara Barron never stood a chance of being normal. At age eleven, she starts writing porn (“He humped me wildly with his wiener”). At twelve, she gets mistaken for a trannie. The pre-op sort, no less. By seventeen, she's featured on the Jerry Springer Show. And that’s all before she hits New York.People Are Unappealing tells the strange, funny, and sometimes filthy stories of Sara Barron’s twisted suburban upbringing and deranged attempt at taking the Big Apple by storm–first as an actor (then a waiter), then a dancer (then a waiter), then a comic (then a waiter). It’s there that she meets the ex-boyfriend turned street clown. The silk pajama-clad poet. The OCD Xanax addict who refuses to have sex wearing any fewer than three condoms. Barron has a knack for attracting the unattractive. People Are Unappealing is her wickedly funny look at the dark side of humanity.

    Since he has always written his own material, books are a natural medium for Steve's comic genius. And his extravagant wit shines brightly indeed in this rollicking collection of short fabulous pieces.

    The first section lists well over 100 books for Christians, which you can instantly download for free from Amazon. The second section offers totally above-board techniques on how to access NEW books on many Christian topics from Amazon every single day, without ever paying one cent!This book will save you thousands of dollars and will enrich your spirit with amazing free books.Enjoy your exploration and the amazing discoveries!M.C. (Editor)AS OF JANUARY 25, 2015 ALL LINKS HAVE BEEN TESTED TWICE AND THEY ARE WORKING. ANY COMMENT TO THE CONTRARY IN THE COMMENTS SECTION COULD BE THE RESULT OF TECHNICAL PROBLEMS IN THE CUSTOMER'S KINDLE OR COMPUTER  OR THE BUYER'S GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION. IF THE YOU EXPERIENCE ONGOING TECHNICAL PROBLEMS, FEEL FREE TO RETURN THE BOOK AND GET YOUR  MONEY BACK.

    All she knows is that she's being hunted. When she stumbles, bloody and beaten, onto Abram Yoder's Lancaster County farm, she is not only given a chance at safety, but also the possibility of love. Will the ghosts of Sofia's past keep her from seizing a new future?Abram Yoder is a man trapped in the past. His wife Rebekah died in childbirth two years back, and even through prayer, he hasn't been able to absolve his grief and allow himself to live. When a mysterious woman comes to his Lancaster farm needing help, will Abram find the faith to love again?Join Sofia and Abram as they confront the past, embrace the future and with God's help, bridge the gap between their two worlds and maybe even find love. If you like Amish Romance Novels, Scroll Up and Click "Buy Now" to start Reading this Christian Amish Romance Book Today!

    He was an expert at reading his father’s mercurial moods and gauging exactly when his mother was likely to erupt, and even before he learned to ride a bike, he was often forced to take matters into his own hands. He broke up his parents’ raucous New Year’s Eve party with gunfire and ended their slugfest at the local drive-in (actual restaurants weren’t on the Crowells’ menu) by smashing a glass pop bottle over his own head.Despite the violent undercurrents always threatening to burst to the surface, he fiercely loved his epilepsy-racked mother, who scorned boring preachers and improvised wildly when the bills went unpaid. And he idolized his blustering father, a honky-tonk man who took his boy to see Hank Williams, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, and Johnny Cash perform live, and bought him a drum set so he could join his band at age eleven. Shot through with raggedy friends and their neighborhood capers, hilariously awkward adolescent angst, and an indelible depiction of the bloodlines Crowell came from, Chinaberry Sidewalks also vividly re-creates Houston in the fifties: a rough frontier town where icehouses sold beer by the gallon on paydays; teeming with musical venues from standard roadhouses to the Magnolia Gardens, where name-brand stars brought glamour to a place starved for it; filling up with cheap subdivisions where blue-collar day laborers could finally afford a house of their own; a place where apocalyptic hurricanes and pest infestations were nearly routine.But at its heart this is Crowell’s tribute to his parents and an exploration of their troubled yet ultimately redeeming romance. Wry, clear-eyed, and generous, it is, like the very best memoirs, firmly rooted in time and place and station, never dismissive, and truly fulfilling.

    All of it greased up with whisky and bad language (let that serve as your first and only warning: this is a very NSFW book of writing advice).500 WAYS contains the following:Prologue: 25 Things You Should Know About Writing Advice25 Questions To Ask As You Write25 Reasons You Won’t Finish That Story25 Things You Should Know About Endings25 Things You Should Know About Mood25 Things You Should Know About NaNoWriMo25 Things You Should Know About Queries, Synopses And Treatments25 Things You Should Know About Self-Publishing25 Things You Should Know About Social Media25 Things You Should Know About Theme25 Things You Should Know About Writing Horror25 Virtues Writers Should Possess25 Ways To Be A Better Writer25 Ways To Defeat Writer’s Block25 Ways To Fuck With Your Characters25 Ways To Make Exposition Your Bitch25 Ways To Plot, Plan And Prep Your StoryThe Life Cycle Of A Novel (In 25 Steps)Appendix 1: 25 Sleep-Deprived And Also Drunken Thoughts On WritingAppendix 2: 25 Brief-But-Hopefully-Potent Writing Exercises

    She spent years cooking in some of New York City’s best restaurants, but it took moving home in 2008 for her to rediscover the wealth and diversity of the Midwestern table, and to witness its reinvention. The New Midwestern Table reveals all that she’s come to love—and learn—about the foods of her native Midwest, through updated classic recipes and numerous encounters with spirited home cooks and some of the region’s most passionate food producers. With 150 color photographs capturing these fresh-from-the-land dishes and the striking beauty of the terrain, this cookbook will cause any home cook to fall in love with the captivating flavors of the American heartland.

    Singing the praises of his unequaled toughness, his mighty kicking feet, his indestructible beard, his frightening virility, and his ability to stop time by thinking about pineapples, The Truth About Chuck Norris is the one book brave enough to go behind the beard and reveal the real Chuck. Ian Spector, webmaster of the site which started the meme and survivor of a real-life encounter with Chuck himself, has selected the 400 most kick-ass facts from his library of thousands, as well as illustrations as awesome as the man himself. This death-defying volume includes such awe-inspiring observations as: • A cobra once bit Chuck Norris’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. • Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard. • When an episode of “Walker, Texas Ranger” aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. • Chuck Norris was the first person to tame a dinosaur. • Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. Afterward, they were renamed The Islands. • Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris’s house is a Total Gym. A must-have paean to the archetypical American male and a bible of all things Chuck, The Truth About Chuck Norris is easily the most important book of all time. AN UNAUTHORIZED PARODY

    In the title novella a fundamentalist teenager must single-handedly confront the challenges of a spiritual quest involving secular humanists, an apocalyptic folk artist, and his own misguided hormones. The other stories deal poignantly with among other things a young millionaire pretending to be a detective, the good folks who invented the diarrhea-inducing chewing gum, and a tollbooth operator who becomes an impromptu drug mule. Underlying each comedic gem and neurotic twist is an intelligence and empathy rarely found in modern satire. Your Body Is Changing will invite you in with its zany humor and indict you with its moving truths.

    The New Fighting Technique may have sprung from the crucible of cubicle culture----Rees created the strip while working a deathly boring temp job, harnessing the potential energy of his PowerPoint software, Internet connection, laser printer, and vast expanses of fallow hours into this Unstoppable ass-kicking phenomenon----but the result has less to do with clockwatching than with the explosive energy of freestyling gangsta rap, airborne Bruce Lee maneuvers, and a profane, deadpan sense of humor that just may establish David Rees as the Lenny Bruce of our times. As soon as Rees began faxing MNFTIU comics to friends, those friends were faxing it to friends who were faxing it to more friends. It was the birth of a genuine underground publishing sensation. Soon it was a regular serial, then there was merchandise, then a website that received 25 million hits last year.

    But if you thought diversity was just for other races, then hang on to your eco-friendly tote bags. Veteran white person Christian Lander is back with fascinating new information and advice on dealing with the Caucasian population.Sure, their indie-band T-shirts, trendy politics, vegan diets, and pop-culture references make them all seem the same. But a closer look reveals that from Austin to Australia, from L.A. to the U.K., indigenous white people are as different from one another as 1 percent rBGH-free milk is different from 2 percent. Where do skinny jeans and bulky sweaters rule? Where is down-market beer the nectar of the hip? If you want to know the places cute girls with bangs and cool guys with beards roam and emo musicians and unpaid interns call home, you’d better switch off the Adult Swim reruns, put down that copy of The Onion, pick up this book, and prepare to see the white.

    How do you react to sandwich boards, road signs, laminated instructions, and other written missives that are just not exactly what their creator meant? If you've ever (gently) judged anyone else for their linguistic failures, if you find yourself guffawing about the frequent confusion between "incontinence" and "inconvenience," if you've ever been tempted to whip out your marker to add in or cross out apostrophes, and if you've refused to answer e-mails in which "your" and "you're" are used interchangeably, this book is for you. With pictures culled from the Facebook group by the same name, I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar is a hilarious and eye-opening tour through restaurants and shops, through parking lots and along winding roads, and around the world.

    Few people, however, knew the details of his childhood, military service and years of hard toil in the coal fields of southwestern Virginia. What Ely was known for was his brilliance as a preacher and his songwriting gifts. Through the enormous popularity of songs like "There Ain't No Grave Gonna Hold My Body Down," Brother Claude Ely bequeathed a musical and spiritual influence that continues to resonate throughout the Appalachians and in gospel music today. Authored by Ely's great-nephew Macel Ely, "Ain't No Grave: The Life and Legacy of Brother Claude Ely" is an oral biography composed from recorded interviews with more than 1,000 people in the Appalachian Mountains who knew Brother Claude Ely. An accompanying CD collects two recordings of "There Ain't No Grave" alongside other songs and sermons.With CD (Audio

    Her husband of thirty years has run off with a stripper. The IRS has taken everything but her coffee table. And her hot flashes are four-alarmers. The only thing that could make being flat-broke and fifty any worse is having to crawl home to her parents' house in Mimosa Branch, Georgia...which is exactly where she's headed.Lin's barely prepared for the loony bin that greets her, from her controlling, eighty-year-old mother and shockingly blunt father to her long-suffering Aunt Glory and her deranged Uncle Bedford who is convinced a cannibal lives under the furniture. Nor is she ready for the instant love-hate attraction she feels for her handsome new next-door neighbor. Trying to navigate her way through the second act of her life with nothing more than a prepaid calling card, a broken heart, and plenty of Prozac, Lin's about to discover that it's never too late for old friends, new romance, the ties of family, and a second chance to survive it all on the road to becoming the person you were always meant to be...