For centuries, lovers have found inspiration and advice in the ancient text of the Kama Sutra. Now, Simon Rich -- "one of the funniest writers in America" (The Daily Beast) -- and Farley Katz have unearthed a valuable new document: a guide to the positions most common after marriage. From "the interrupted congress" to "the beaching of the whales," here are the poses, positions, and games married lovers play to keep the spark alive -- and the dishwasher properly loaded. Complete with four-color, full-page illustrations in the style of the original Kama Sutra, but with modern, domestic accoutrements: dirty diapers, TV remotes, and wine glasses aplenty.

    Follow Kayne as he goes from life on the streets as an orphan to a much better life as a healer's apprentice, though he struggles to fit in to his new place in society. Meeting with kings and nobles was not something he had expected. While learning his trade, he also discovers he has potential as a swordsman. When his world comes crashing down around him, he finds that knowing how to save a life... means knowing how to end one.

    Sexscopes exposes each sign's sexual proclivities and pet peeves, providing tips and tricks for attracting a particular sun sign. For instance, did you know that Virgos are turned on by class, while Taureans get excited by cash? That Capricorns like to dominate, while Pisceans love to be possessed? That Scorpios get off on giving orgasms, while Arians prefer to get them? The sexual landscape of every sign is explicitly explored in tantalizing detail, including: -Pick-up lines that actually work -Erogenous zones, and how to work them -Compatibility ratings between each sign, in and out of bed -Favorite sexual positions, sex toys, flavors -- and more!

    Funny, sarcastic, touching, and, yes, nostalgic, this is a novel of character to be enjoyed by all ages.--"Library Journal."

    School property has been damaged and Greg is the prime suspect. But the crazy thing is, he's innocent! Or at least sort of. Dog Days Greg's mom has a vision of 'family togetherness' that really doesn't sound a whole lot of fun. But there's a brand-new addition to the Heffley family to contend with and it looks like Greg might be outnumbered. It could be a real dog of a summer... The Ugly Truth Greg Heffley navigates his way through family and school life with his best friend, Rowley. The Last Straw Greg's dad, Frank, is on a mission - a mission to make this wimpy kid, well, less wimpy. All manner of 'manly' physical activities are planned, but Greg just about manages to find a way out of them. That is until military academy is mentioned and Greg realizes Do-It-Yourself Book Allows you to draw your own Wimpy-Kid-style cartoons, fill in facts and lists, check out the full-colour comics inside and even write your own Wimpy Kid journal, just like Greg. Rodrick RulesIt's a brand-new year and Greg is keen to put the humiliating events of last summer firmly behind him. But someone knows everything - someone whose job it is to most definitely not keep anything embarrassing of Greg's private - his big brother, Rodrick. Diary of a Wimpy Kid Greg Heffley finds himself in a new year and school where undersize weaklings share the corridors with kids who are taller and meaner. Desperate to prove his maturity, Greg is happy to have his sidekick, Rowley, along for the ride. But when Rowley's star starts to rise,

    I began developing my Weider System back in the 1930s and continue to refine and add new Weider Training Principles to it. You can rely on the information I present in this book to improve your physique. Good luck! -- Joe Weider On Instinctive Training One of the most fundamental secrets of successful bodybuilding is getting to know your body and how it reacts to various training and nutritional practices. Unless you have finely honed your instinctive training ability, it will take many weeks, even months, to evaluate each experiment. It definitely pays to master the Weider Instinctive Training Principle. -- Franco Columbo, two-time Mr. Olympia On Progression The key to building massive, powerful muscles is to doggedly increase the training weights you use. But it is only good to increase training poundage if you do so in perfect form. There is a direct correlation between the amount of weight you use with perfect biomechanics in an exercise and the mass of muscles that move that weight. -- Lee Haney, three-time Mr. Olympia On Muscle Confusion Once I reached the advanced level of bodybuilding and started entering competitions, I discovered that I quickly became bored with a set training program. I began to use the Weider Muscle Confusion Principle, changing to a new and more challenging routine every time I came into the gym to bomb a particular body part. -- Lou Ferrigno On Supersets Since supersets constitute a big jump in training intensity, I always tell bodybuilders new to the Weider Supersets Training Principles to experiment with supersets, compounding movements for the biceps and triceps, or forearm flexors and forearm extensors. -- Albert Beckles, IFBB World Pro Grand Prix Champion

    Over 200 delicious slow-cooker recipes to take the hassle out of cooking.Would you like to cut down on convenience food? Want to eat home-cooked meals but just donít have the time or energy to prepare them after a busy day? Then a slow cooker could be the solution for you. Requiring only minimal preparation, a slow cooker will cook your ingredients throughout the day or overnight, producing a delicious meal that will be ready to eat as soon as you are. Hamlyn All Colour: 200 Slow Cooker Recipes provides over 200 recipes for you to enjoy, with delicious ideas for breakfasts and light bites, meat dishes, vegetarian meals, fish and seafood dishes and desserts.Beautiful photographs and clear instructions make this book perfect for every cook.This book includes: Breakfast & Light Bites; Meat, Poultry & Game; Vegetable Dishes; Fish & Seafood; Desserts & Accompaniments.

    A nun told her fourth-grade students to write their names on a piece of paper and then pass the paper to the next person, who was to write a sentence of appreciation about the person named at the top. When the exercise was done, each student had twenty-four comments of admiration and appreciation - one from each classmate.The Christmas List follows James Engler, who returns home to Iowa one Christmas, after his fiancee calls off their marriage, and discovers that his best childhood friend, Mike, has just been killed in the Gulf War. When Mike's parents reveal at a memorial service that Mike had carried his fourth-grade list with him, most of James's former classmates confess that they, too, kept their lists as a reminder, even in the worst of times, of their admirable traits and that they were appreciated.James also renews his acquaintance with his former classmate Sarah, who wrote on his list, "You are a great guy and some day I'm going to marry." And she does.

    Tyler Campbell is caught off guard by his sudden, intense attraction to fellow student Susanna Lombardi and is determined to make her his. But she says she can not have a boyfriend for reasons she will not reveal.Tyler becomes obsessed with learning the secrets of the women he's fallen in love with. Where does she go on her mysterious trips? What's the source of her seemingly endless supply of money? Why does her house have so many locked doors? Does she really have reasons for never being in a relationship, or is she just protecting herself?"Do you want me to come on you?" I breathed, barely able to speak.She answered with no hesitation. "I want whatever you want," she said as her breasts feverishly massaged my cock. It felt like a bomb about to explode.I knew we didn't have much time. I wanted to come all over her chest, but even more than that, I wanted to know what it was like to pound her round, gorgeous ass."Stop." I barely exhaled. She sat back on her heals, removing her breasts from my lap as I took a deep breath to calm down. "Do you have any condoms?" I asked.She scooted on her knees to a nearby end table and opened the drawer. "I'm pretty sure I have just one in here unless someone found it the other night." She rummaged through the drawer for about 30 seconds. I was glad it took a while. It gave me time to settle myself down a little before the next round.She finally found the condom and handed it to me. I tore the little yellow package open but decided not to put it on just yet. I laid the package on the arm of the couch and stood up."Your turn," I said as I reached down to help her stand up beside me. "First, I need you out of those clothes."She showed me that sexy smile I already loved so much. "Whatever you want," she moaned, then took my hand and rose to her feet. I pulled her pants and panties all the way down to the floor and helped her step out of them.Susie looked beautiful standing before me. I swear, I had never been attracted to her body type before. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I studied her, trying to burn her image into my memory. Susie's body was full and silky, and looked even better naked than I had imagined.I put my arms around her back as I leaned down to overtake her mouth with mine. I fiercely pressed my hard body to hers, reveling in the luxurious feel of her softness against me. Her breasts felt like pillows; her stomach cushioned my hard c**k. I wanted to take her away to a deserted island and devote myself to learning everything I could about her body for a few years.I felt her hands on my ass pulling me closer. She cupped my firm muscles as she moaned and breathed harder into my mouth. My d**k pressed harder into her stomach until I couldn't take it anymore."Sit on the couch," I whispered.Without a word, she sat down. I knelt down on the floor in front of her and gently placed a hand on each of her knees, spreading them apart. I was about to reach for the condom when I caught a glimpse of the soft folds between her thighs. I knew I needed to taste her. I put my hands under her knees to guide her legs even further apart. Then I stopped to gaze at her for a moment, admiring her naked body, trying again to burn another picture of her into my memory. She half smiled at me with a dreamy look in her eyes.I loved how those big tits complimented her pretty pink p***y, and the way her long blond hair framed her beautiful face as it fell around her shoulders, onto her chest. I was once again reminded of a scene from a trashy magazine featuring large-breasted women with their legs spread open. She was a guilty pleasure come to life.I bent my head down and gave her one good, long lick from the bottom of her p***y up to her cl**. She moaned and put her hands on the back of my head."Woman, you are so wet," I said, just before my mouth began its assault on her.I took my time with her at first, licking every inch of her, my tongue lingering to enjoy her taste. Every time I had done this with a woman in the past, the room was dark. But Susie had the lights on, confident and unashamed. It turned me on to be able to see her p***y while I was licking it.I sucked on her lips for a while before I moved up to her cl**. Her moans got louder as my tongue moved in fast circles around it."Damn it! I need you to f**k me, now!" she demanded. I could hear pain in her voice. I desperately wanted to f**k her, but not yet. I longed to get her off with my mouth before we went any further. I wanted to taste her and feel her wetness dripping all over me as I brought her to orgasm.

    It is a recipe for womanhood that changes with the whim of the seasons and the political climate. It is a feverish fistful of musings, a comedy of errors, an instruction manual, a compass, an overheard conversation in the ladies' loo, whispered secrets over a (second) bottle of wine. It is a lamentation, an homage to fellow women, at once a celebration of things to come and a mourning of things lost. It is a redefinition of what it is to be magical and otherwordly. It exposes the complex and contradictory impulses of the human spirit, the ugly tangle of emotions we must deal with in ourselves and also as a wider society. With frankness, humour and a decided fuck-you to fear, Vanessa digs deeper than she ever has to find something resembling sorcery.

    Business Analyst’s Mentor Book includes tips and best practices in a broad range of topics like:- business analysis skills - requirements gathering and documentation - scope management - change request management - conflict management - use cases- UML - agile and waterfall methodologies - user interface design - usability testing - software testing - automation tools Real-life examples are provided to help readers apply these best practices in their own IT organizations.The book answers the most frequent questions of business analysts regarding software requirements management.

    Will take 25-35 days

    Packed with 291 passion-igniting positions, The Position Sex Bible takes sex from predictable to over the top. Whether you and your partner are just beginning your sexual adventures, looking to break out of a same-old-position rut, or ready take your bedroom repertoire to the next level, this complete guide showcases every position available. With concise instructions and a full-color photograph for each position, this pleasure tome is organized into ten sections—Bed Action, Back Door Policy, On the Edge, The Standing O, Chair Action, Foreplay and Oral Sex, Advanced Positions, At the Office, Toys, Advanced Foreplay and Oral Sex, Taking It to Another Level, Advanced Toys, and Swing Time! From twists on traditional favorites to the straight-up exotic, positions include:The Kissing LotusSnake TrapThe CorkscrewThe Hoover UprightTunnel of LoveThe Door JamCupid’s BowPurrfect PlungeAt the back of the book, a handy checklist with a thumbnail visual of each position for quick reference also allows you to keep track of the positions as you enjoy them. Spice up your sex life with The Position Sex Bible.

    

    Honor your personal connection to the Earth and the gods and goddesses with magical spells, correspondences, planting and harvesting dates, invocations, and an abundance of folkloric wisdom.Original art by Kathleen Edwards and enchanting essays, spells, and rituals by your favorite authors capture the essence of each month of the year. Additionally, the calendar features a lunar gardening table, a wealth of resources for syncing life choices with moon signs, and correspondence tables for working magic with favorable outcomes.