This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published.In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

    (Women who leave wet teaspoons in sugar bowls need not apply)."I haven't woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it's one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for." Jon RichardsonIs your filing faultless? Your CDs, apostrophes, cutlery all in the right places? Can you eat a biscuit in the correct way? Then Jon Richardson (single for seven years and counting) could be your ideal man.Living alone in a one bedroom flat in Swindon, 27 year old Jon has had far too much time on his hands to think. In fact to obsess. About almost everything. Jon's obsessive compulsive personality disorder has seen him arrange the coins in his pockets in ascending size and colour code his bookshelves. It takes him less than 90 seconds to locate a receipt for a pair of shoes he bought in 1997. Over to the filing cabinet and R for receipts, S for shoes.But Jon doesn't want to be like this, in fact he would quite like to share his life with someone. But who could that someone be? Someone like himself, a quarrelsome perfectionist only with breasts and less body hair? Absolutely not. But who exactly is Jon looking for and where will he find her? Faced with a loveless future filled with his own peculiar quirks and perfectionism, Jon sets about his search for The One. The question is, will he mind her keeping the knives to the left of the forks in the cutlery drawer or organising the CDs by genre and not alphabetically?

    Willingham on educational neuroscience? Written for busy teachers, trainers, managers and students, this dip-in dip-out guide makes theories of learning accessible and practical. It explores over 100 classic and contemporary learning theorists in an easy-to-use, bite-sized format with clear relevant illustrations on how each theory will benefit your teaching and learning.Each model or theory is explained in less than 350 words, many with accompanying diagrams, and the 'how to use it' sections, in less than 500 words. Every entry includes:Do it steps in order to apply the theory or modelReflection points & challenges to develop your understanding of how to apply itAnalogies & metaphors from which understanding and meaning can be drawnTips for the classroomFurther reading if you want to explore a theory in greater depth. More titles by Bob Bates: Educational Leadership Simplified A Quick Guide to Special Needs and Disabilities

    Even people who win the lottery or inherit money often seem to wind up losing it. The evidence suggests you can't win a game that you don't understand - even if you start out winning - because you never understood the game in the first place.So how can you win with money? How can you create independent wealth and hold on to it? This inspiring book by self-made multi-millionaire Rob Moore explains the rules of the game, shares simple tricks for managing money better, details how to create a plan for an ambitious future, and shows you the very best way to become a millionaire - to think and behave like one!

    Radical Frugality tells the story of 5 people who did it: Paul, 27, discovering how to overcome student loan debt; David and Winona, late 40's, living their retirement dream today; and Dan and Charlotte, family of 4, with an underwater mortgage. Waking up every morning debt-free with cash in your pocket helps your brain feel safe, secure, and smart. Embracing the concepts in this book frees you from the overwhelming anxiety of the consumer lifestyle by showing you how to take control. You can start today. What if you could spend 66% less money than you spend today setting yourself up to live a self-determined lifestyle doing exactly what you love to do regardless of financial compensation? Radical Frugality shows you exactly how to achieve those goals within one to five years. Using our step-by-step common sense plan, we teach you what to do (break the spell of the consumer credit con), when to do it (planning and preparation), and most importantly where to do it (discover the 5 top cities for living frugally). We'll help you evaluate your financial situation. Are you in the Yellow Zone, the Orange Zone, the Red Zone, or even the Dead Zone (paying debt with debt)? This book lays out a plan for how to pay off your debt and get into the Neutral Zone (getting back to monthly break-even), the Green Zone (debt free with $1,000 a month free cash-flow) or even the Golden Zone (living a self-determined life). Whether you are desperate right now about your financial situation, facing retirement, just starting out, or just plain tired and worn-out from struggling to pay bills, Radical Frugality can show you over 100 tips for feeling better today. Radical Frugality offers a soup to nuts plan for living a self-determined life that will leave you happier and healthier than ever before. CHAPTER ONE: IT'S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU EARN—IT'S ABOUT WHAT YOU SPEND. HOW TO TAKE CONTROL CHAPTER TWO: THE CONSUMER CREDIT CON. HOW MARKETERS PLAY TRICKS ON YOUR BRAIN CHAPTER THREE: WHY FRUGALITY? GETTING STRAIGHT ABOUT WHY YOU'RE ON THE PLANET CHAPTER FOUR: WHO ARE YOU TODAY? EVALUATE YOUR SPENDING PROFILE CHAPTER FIVE: HOW TO DO IT. YOUR STEP BY STEP PLAN TO GAIN CONTROL CHAPTER SIX: GOING GREEN AND NEVER LOOKING BACK. THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON CASH CHAPTER SEVEN: WHEN WILL YOU BE READY? LEARNING TO ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS CHAPTER EIGHT: LIVING THE DREAM. WHERE YOU LIVE DETERMINES HOW YOU LIVE

    [It] was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said. 'Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.'"With this basic instruction always in mind, Anne Lamott returns to offer us a new gift: a step-by-step guide on how to write and on how to manage the writer's life. From "Getting Started,' with "Short Assignments," through "Shitty First Drafts," "Character," "Plot," "Dialogue." all the way from "False Starts" to "How Do You Know When You're Done?" Lamott encourages, instructs, and inspires. She discusses "Writers Block," "Writing Groups," and "Publication." Bracingly honest, she is also one of the funniest people alive.If you have ever wondered what it takes to be a writer, what it means to be a writer, what the contents of your school lunches said about what your parents were really like, this book is for you. From faith, love, and grace to pain, jealousy, and fear, Lamott insists that you keep your eyes open, and then shows you how to survive. And always, from the life of the artist she turns to the art of life.

    Some call it morality. Others call it religion. But Bros in the know call this holy grail the Bro Code.Historically a spoken tradition passed from one generation to the next, the official code of conduct for Bros appears here in its published form for the first time ever. By upholding the tenets of this sacred and legendary document, any dude can learn to achieve Bro-dom.

    The bestselling grammar book has been updated and revised to include the latest and greatest on the basics and subtleties of English, and features a new chapter on the language of the Internet.

    At her rural homestead an adopted pony mingled with llamas, goats, emus, and dozens of other creatures, familiar and exotic. But Carole’s expressed desire to help others extended beyond the animals she took in. It extended beyond her meager resources, even beyond the children she insisted she loved, yet sometimes left neglected in a surreal world of danger. Finally, in the remote reaches of Utah’s Great Basin, Carole Alden shot and killed her husband. Dragging his heavy body from the house, she headed for a makeshift grave. Was the murder self-defense? Premeditated? Or was something else altogether at hand? In this searing exploration of deadly codependency, the author takes the reader on a spellbinding voyage of discovery that examines the questions: Are some people naturally too caring? Is caring sometimes a mask for darker motives? Can science help us understand how our concerns for others can hurt everything we hold dear? This gripping story brings extraordinary insight to our deepest questions. Is kindness always the right answer? Is kindness always what it seems?

    She founded the Facebook group Extreme Couponing and Bargains UK (the second largest Facebook group in the world) and is on TikTok, Youtube and Instagram helping as many people as possible to save money too.This book contains all her best hacks and tips to save money and make money - simple, life-changing ideas for everyone.Holly has included her favourite hacks from the Extreme Couponing and Bargains UK community too, who inspired her to write this book. And has asked all her money-saving expert friends to contribute tips too.All the costly moments of everyday life are included, from supermarket shops to kids parties - even special occasions like weddings and Christmas.Discover lots of fun ways to get saving, find the bargains and make your money go further.

    Jackasses are those who make our lives needlessly harder. They drive too slowly in the fast lane and too quickly in the slow lane, reply all, heat up fish in the microwave at work and share way too much information about their cleanse on Facebook. They live in our homes, work in our offices and shop at our stores. Jackasses are among us, and we have some bad news for you: if you can't spot the Jackass at the (enter literally any place on the planet), then the Jackass is you. After a lifetime of research, Scott and Alison Stratten offer the definitive guide to surviving the Jackassery in your life and making the world a better place, one set of noise-cancelling headphones at a time.

    Seth Rudetsky is the funniest man I know. Period.” —Kristin Chenoweth, Tony award-winning actress“Seth Rudetsky knows every skeleton in (or out) of the closet on Broadway and his passion, joy and encyclopedic knowledge of that Magic Kingdom inform every sentence of this book. He makes our age, this age, seem Golden, too, and he is right about that.” —Terrence McNally, playwright“I love Seth Rudetsky! He is Mr. Broadway! Seth's love for the Musical Theatre equals my own and his knowledge of all things Broadway is an obsession to be cherished. His chronicle of the journey of starstruck kid to Broadway pianist/conductor is a wonderful every-theatre-kid tale with wicked humor and New York City savvy, sass and insight. I LOVE THIS BOOK!” —Betty Buckley,Tony award-wining actress/singer"Seth Rudetsky belts a high comedic note in this hilariously reflective, mile-a-minute insight about the real people who travel the Great White Way."—Ana Gasteyer, Actress/Singer, "Saturday Night Live", "Wicked""Seth Rudetsky's book is everything you want to know about Broadway AND Funny!"—Lea DeLaria, Actress/Comedian, "The Rocky Picture Horror Show"“Seth Rudetsky works in the pits, but his book is anything but. A laugh-filled excursion to Broadway with a guide who knows where all the phantoms are buried. Even if the closest you ever get to the Broadway jungle is second mezz at “The Lion King,” you'll have a good time” —Bruce Vilanch, Actor-Writer-One-time-SquareWelcome to life beneath the wicked stage!Stephen Sheerin was born to play on Broadway—or at least, under it. He’s a musician, a conductor, and his dream is to music direct a big Broadway musical. After years of toiling in the pit of some of the best-loved (and loathed) hits on the Great White Way, he’s just been given his big break. Can life really be going that well? Of course not—his family is driving him crazy and his boyfriend can’t seem to get rid of his other boyfriend. Then there’s Stephen himself—neurotic and bitchy—who realizes that maybe total happiness is over-rated.

    Created by curly hair evangelist Lorraine Massey—the go-to curl expert featured in Allure, InStyle, Lucky, Seventeen, and The New York Times, and founder of several curly salons and curly products in New York City—Curly Girl is the surprising bible for the 65 percent of women with naturally curly or wavy hair and a desire to celebrate it.Curly Girl is packed with unique and fail-proof hair-care methods, inspiration, and an empowering pro-curl attitude. It’s all here: daily routines for Botticelli, fractal, and wavy curls; Lorraine’s no-more-shampoo epiphany—handle your hair as gently as you do your best cashmere sweater; homemade lotions and potions. New to this edition: an illustrated, step-by-step guide to trimming your own hair (remember: it’s not what you take off; it’s what you leave on); a section on the particular needs of wavy hair; Lorraine’s Down-and-Dirty Curly Boy Routine; more fabulous ’dos for weddings and other special occasions; a chapter on multicurltural hair written by an African American specialist. Plus, updated information on green and chemical-free products, 20 new Q&As, and a DVD with tutorials on caring for four different types of curls. From now on, there’s no such thing as a bad hair day.

    As a result, writers will dig deep within and explore their own values and worldviews in order to create an effective story. Writers will come away with an extremely precise set of tools to work with--specific, useful techniques to make the audience care about their characters, and that make their characters grow in meaningful ways. They will construct a surprising plot that is unique to their particular concept, and they will learn how to express a moral vision that can genuinely move an audience.The foundations of story that Truby lays out are so fundamental they are applicable--and essential--to all writers, from novelists and short-story writers to journalists, memoirists, and writers of narrative non-fiction.

    My goals were noble but my concerns were trivial. I desperately wanted to close the pay gap, but I also wanted to look good sitting down naked.From inclusion to the secret autonomy in rom-coms, from effective activism to what poker can tell us about power structures, Deborah explores what it means to be a twenty-first-century feminist, and encourages us to make the world better for everyone.The book also includes exclusive interviews with performers, activists and thinkers - Jessamyn Stanley, Zoe Coombs Marr, Susan Wokoma, Bisha K. Ali, Reubs Walsh, Becca Bunce, Amika George, Mo Mansfied and Leyla Hussein - plus a piece from Hannah Gadsby.