Book picks similar to
You Made Me Late Again!: My New Collection by Pam Ayres
poetry
non-fiction
humour
poetry-and-plays
The Hill We Climb: An Inaugural Poem for the Country
Amanda GormanAmanda Gorman - 2021
Taking the stage after the 46th president of the United States, Joe Biden, Gorman captivated the nation and brought hope to viewers around the globe. Her poem “The Hill We Climb: An Inaugural Poem for the Country” can now be cherished in this special gift edition. Including an enduring foreword by Oprah Winfrey, this keepsake celebrates the promise of America and affirms the power of poetry.
Empty Bottles Full of Stories
R.H. Sin - 2019
Sin and Robert M. Drake. What are you hiding behind your smile? If those empty bottles that line the walls of your room could speak, what tales would they spill? So much of your truth is buried beneath the lies you tell yourself. There’s a need to scream to the moon; there’s this urge to go out into the darkness of the night to purge. There are so many stories living inside your soul, you just want the opportunity to tell them. And when you can’t find the will to express what lives within your heart, these words will give you peace. These words will set you free.
My First Little Book of Intersectional Activism
Titania McGrath - 2020
. . If virtue-signalling wokery drives you as nuts as it drives me, you will love it' Piers Morgan'Required reading for anyone needing an antidote to the mass hysteria of humanity's latest religion' Entertainment FocusAfter the success of her debut Woke: A Guide to Social Justice, radical slam poet and intersectional feminist Titania McGrath has turned her talents to the realm of children's non-fiction. Aimed at activists from the age of six months to six years, Titania's book will help cultivate a new progressive generation. In a series of groundbreaking and poignant chapters, she will take you on a journey with some of the most inspiring individuals in history, such as Emmeline Pankhurst, Meghan Markle, Nelson Mandela, Hillary Clinton, and Joseph Stalin.
Praise for Woke:'Beautiful classic satire' Ricky Gervais'The latest genius twist in Britain's long tradition of satirical spoof' Daily Express 'Titania McGrath mercilessly satirises the Left's online umbrage brigade, the permanently offended, those who have taken on the role of policing thoughts and words to the point of absurdity' The Herald 'Hilarious' Evening Standard 'Hilarious' Spectator 'Hilarious' The Times 'Utterly unfunny' Peter Hitchens
Learn Me Good
John Pearson - 2006
He has forty children, and all of them have different mothers..."Jack Woodson was a thermal design engineer for four years until he was laid off from his job. Now, as a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn't changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day.Learn Me Good is Jack's hilarious retelling of his harrowing rookie year, written as a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his former engineering coworker. Inspired by real-life experiences of rambunctious and precocious children, lesson plans gone awry, and incredibly outrageous quotes, this laugh a minute page turner will give you a new appreciation for educators. Jack holds a March Mathness tournament, he faces a child's urgent declaration of "My bowels be runnin'!", and he mistakenly asks one girl's mother if she is her brother. With subject lines such as "Irritable Vowel Syndrome," "In math class, no one can hear you scream," and "I love the smell of Lysol in the morning," Jack fills each email with sarcastic (yet loving) humor, insightful observations, and plenty of irreverent wit.If you've ever taught, you will undoubtedly recognize aspects of your own students in Jack's classroom. If you've never set foot in a classroom, you will still appreciate the funny quirks, behaviors, and quotes from the kids and adults alike."I teach, therefore I am...poor!"
Very British Problems: Making Life Awkward for Ourselves, One Rainy Day at a Time
Rob Temple - 2013
Symptoms include:*Acute embarrassment at the mere notion of making a fuss;*Extreme awkwardness when faced with any social greeting beyond a brisk handshake;*An unhealthy preoccupation with meteorology.Doctors have also reported several cases of unnecessary apologising, an obsessive interest in correct queuing etiquette and dramatic sighing in the presence of loud teenagers on public transport. If you have experienced any of these symptoms, you may be suffering from VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS. VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS are highly contagious. There is no known cure.Rob Temple's hilarious new book reveals all the ways in which we are a nation of socially awkward but well-meaning oddballs, struggling to make it through every day without apologising to an inanimate object. Take comfort in misfortunes of others. You are not alone.
Yoga Bitch: One Woman's Quest to Conquer Skepticism, Cynicism, and Cigarettes on the Path to Enlightenment
Suzanne Morrison - 2011
But things don’t go quite as expected. Once in Bali, she finds that her beloved yoga teacher and all of her yogamates wake up every morning to drink a large, steaming mug…of their own urine. Sugar is a mortal sin. Spirits inhabit kitchen appliances. And the more she tries to find her higher self, the more she faces her cynical, egomaniacal, cigarette-, wine-, and chocolate-craving lower self. Yoga Bitch chronicles Suzanne’s hilarious adventures and misadventures as an aspiring yogi who might be just a bit too skeptical to drink the Kool-Aid. But along the way she discovers that no spiritual effort is wasted; even if her yoga retreat doesn’t turn her into the gorgeously calm, wise believer she hopes it will, it does plant seeds that continue to blossom in surprising ways over the next decade of her life.suzannemorrison.blogspot.com
Southern by the Grace of God
Lewis Grizzard - 2001
No other contemporary humorist knew the South so well, loved it so passionately, or wrote about it so vividly.
Dear Girls Above Me: Inspired by a True Story
Charlie McDowell - 2013
His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour. Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test. After being unceremoniously dumped by the girl he was certain was “the one,” Charlie realized his neighbors’ conversations were not only amusing, but also offered him access to a completely uncensored woman’s perspective on the world. From the importance of effectively Facebook-stalking potential girlfriends and effortlessly pulling off pastel, to learning when in the early stages of dating is too presumptuous to bring a condom and how to turn food poisoning into a dieting advantage, the girls get Charlie into trouble, but they also get him out of it—without ever having a clue of their impact on him.
Six Word Wonder
Doug Weller - 2020
Some stories are funny, some poetic, some vulgar, and some are a little disturbing. Each story has been lovingly crafted to amuse and entertain you in six words.Six Word Wonder is a social media sensation, with over 10,000 followers on Instagram @sixwordwonderNow, for the first time, Doug brings his best tiny stories together in one collection. Unlocking the cage, she stepped out.Cupid. Tomorrow, aim for his head.Home alone, but toilet just flushed.Baby loves whining. Mother loves wine.…reader. I’m a very gifted mind…I poured two glasses… then remembered.Take a moment out of your hectic schedule to enjoy a Six Word Wonder.
One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories
B.J. Novak - 2014
Novak's One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories is an endlessly entertaining, surprisingly sensitive, and startlingly original debut collection that signals the arrival of a welcome new voice in American fiction.Across a dazzling range of subjects, themes, tones, and narrative voices, Novak's assured prose and expansive imagination introduce readers to people, places, and premises that are hilarious, insightful, provocative, and moving-often at the same time.In One More Thing, a boy wins a $100,000 prize in a box of Frosted Flakes - only to discover that claiming the winnings may unravel his family. A woman sets out to seduce motivational speaker Tony Robbins - turning for help to the famed motivator himself. A school principal unveils a bold plan to permanently abolish arithmetic. An acclaimed ambulance driver seeks the courage to follow his heart and throw it all away to be a singer-songwriter. Author John Grisham contemplates a monumental typo. A new arrival in heaven, overwhelmed by infinite options, procrastinates over his long-ago promise to visit his grandmother. We meet a vengeance-minded hare, obsessed with scoring a rematch against the tortoise who ruined his life; and post-college friends who debate how to stage an intervention in the era of Facebook. We learn why wearing a red t-shirt every day is the key to finding love; how February got its name; and why the stock market is sometimes just... down.Finding inspiration in questions from the nature of perfection to the icing on carrot cake, from the deeply familiar to the intoxicatingly imaginative, One More Thing finds its heart in the most human of phenomena: love, fear, family, ambition, and the inner stirring for the one elusive element that might make a person complete. The stories in this collection are like nothing else, but they have one thing in common: they share the playful humor, deep heart, inquisitive mind, and altogether electrifying spirit of a writer with a fierce devotion to the entertainment of the reader.
I Was Told There'd Be Cake: Essays
Sloane Crosley - 2008
Courtney Sullivan. Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays from Sloane Crosley is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory.From despoiling an exhibit at the Natural History Museum to provoking the ire of her first boss to siccing the cops on her mysterious neighbor, Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions -- or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character who aims for the stars but hits the ceiling, and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.The pony problem --Christmas in July --The ursula cookie --Bring your machete to work day --The good people of this dimension --Bastard out of Westchester --The beauty of strangers --Fuck you, Columbus --One-night bounce --Sign language for infidels --You on a stick --Height of luxury --Smell this --Lay like broccoli --Fever faker
Top Gear: The Alternative Highway Code
Ministry of Top Gear - 2010
The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.
I Hate Everyone
Matthew DiBenedetti - 2011
This book goes through all the miserable people you love to hate. Do you hate morning people? How about the guy who doesn’t wipe the ketchup top after using it? Or people who just don’t care? After all, isn’t hating just another form of caring?It's true: Misery does love company. But what kind of company can you keep if you can't stand anyone? This kind. No matter who they are or what they do that sets you off and gets you going, you'll find 'em inside. From rich people who are dicks to guys named Rich who go by Dick to those who are always cold to people who are just hot, no one is safe. But one thing is certain—everyone will find someone they equally despise. And you're gonna love it, period.
Ant Farm and Other Desperate Situations
Simon Rich - 2005
Armed with a sharp eye for the absurd and an overwhelming sense of doom, Rich explores the ridiculousness of our everyday lives. The world, he concludes, is a hopelessly terrifying place–with endless comic potential.–If your girlfriend gives you some “love coupons” and then breaks up with you, are the coupons still valid?–What kind of performance pressure does an endangered male panda feel when his captors bring the last remaining female panda to his cage?–If murderers can get into heaven by accepting Jesus, just how awkward is it when they run into their victims?Join Simon Rich as he explores the extraordinary and hilarious desperation that resides in ordinary life, from cradle to grave."Hilarious." -John Stewart
To Make Monsters Out of Girls
Amanda Lovelace - 2018
She poses the eternal question: Can you heal once you’ve been marked by a monster, or will the sun always sting?