If you loved The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, then you should get your hands on this book now! Phil is private investigator; he's got a computer and a comfy chair, and he knows how to use them. He doesn't get all sweaty chasing the bad guys; not when his fingers can do the work as he sips his coffee and looks forward to a nice cool pint. He doesn't wrestle them to the ground, with a quick quip and a steely gaze; not when he can sit in his comfy chair and dream about the girl behind the bar; the one with the breasts. Then he meets the ex-wife of a missing crime lord, and everything changes. Suddenly he's squirting to distant planets, finding dead bodies, dancing with aliens, saving a world from the clutches of the cutest of aliens and, for one brief moment, he becomes the richest man in the universe. In a tale of treachery, danger, poor customer service and bad jokes, Phil is forced to put aside his relaxed 'let someone else do the work' attitude, and take up arms against the might of an alien empire (well, it's a crow bar actually, and the alien is a little girl; a very tough little girl) and somehow find a way to save the day, and Earth's most valuable commodity, and maybe even his dignity. But where does this story really start? Of course, for Phil, it’s when he first meets the ex-wife of the missing crime lord; it’s typical of him to think it all started with him. For Ben, it would be the misplaced bullet; for Millie, it was, of course, the Joke, and for Sam; well your guess is as good as mine. In reality, it started much earlier; nine years earlier, with the robbery... A laugh a minute science fiction comedy thriller, destined to be one of the decade’s Science Fiction Bestsellers, and it’s also a unique First Contact Novel. If you like your SF books with alien worlds, strangely named AI’s, really bad jokes and a Narrative Facilitator who would really rather be doing something else, then maybe you should add this to your Science Fiction and Fantasy library of Kindle books. Revised September 2015 for greater clarity and added silliness You can find other Comedy Novels & Comedy Thrillers by searching the following categories: Science Fiction Comedy First Contact Comedy thriller Comedy Mystery Books for Kindle Science Fiction Books for Adults Science Fiction and Fantasy Series Comedy Novels

    The lease on a decrepit flat that fortunately only had a couple of months to run. 2. The lease on a failing coffee shop - that had ‘always been her dream’.3. Horace the cat. The client base on the once thriving shop was now threadbare. The salvation for Jack - and the shop - could be right in front of his very eyes; the beautiful and underappreciated shop assistant and friend, Emma. Her insistence that Jack cared about someone – other than himself – would bring him closer to those who were keeping his business alive; his elderly customers. A disgraced, ex-BBC presenter and a world record attempt would also be a key ingredient in the success of the Isle of Man’s only dating and social club for the elderly – The Lonely Heart Attack Club.

    With her father, Connor, she tends to their Ohio farm, a forty-acre spread that itself has enjoyed better days. As memories sweep through her, some too precious to bear, Rae gives shelter from a brutal winter to a teenager named Quinn Galecki.Quinn has been thrown out by his parents, a couple too troubled to help steer the misunderstood boy through his own losses. Now Quinn has found a temporary home with the Langdons—and an unexpected kinship, because Rae, Quinn, and Connor share a past and understand one another’s pain. But its depths—and all its revelations and secrets—have yet to come to light. To finally move forward, Rae must confront them and also fight for Quinn, whose parents have other plans in mind for their son.With forgiveness, love, and the spring thaw, there might be hope for a new season—a second chance Rae believed in her heart was gone forever.

    Discretion guaranteed. Her next gig is a destination wedding—livestreamed and sponsored—for an Instagram influencer. That means a paradise of new contacts, which could be a boon to her already booming business. If Rachel can keep the very handsome and slightly too interested best man at bay, that is.High-tech entrepreneur Camden Lewis must know: Who is this gorgeous, intelligent, and mysterious woman? Too good to be real. Convinced she’s a corporate spy out to tank his company, Camden’s not letting her out of his sight. But the constant surveillance is also opening his eyes to things about Rachel that he likes. If she’s a spy, she’s certainly the cutest one he’s ever seen.As the week’s worth of wedding events march along, Rachel and Camden are learning almost everything there is to know about each other. Rachel’s made a career out of always a bridesmaid…but perhaps there’s a chance for her own trip down the aisle?

    An artist at heart, Anna works a day job as a private assistant for Bambi Von Bizmark, a megarich Upper East Side matriarch who’s about to be honored at the illustrious Opera Ball.Caught between the staid world of great wealth and her unconventional life as an artist, Anna struggles with her true calling. If she’s supposed to be a painter, why is she so much more successful as a personal assistant? When her boyfriend lands a fancy new job, it throws their future as a couple into doubt and intensifies Anna’s identity crisis. All she has to do is ensure everything runs smoothly and hold herself together until the Opera Ball is over. How hard could that be?Featuring a vibrant array of characters from the powerful to the proletarian, Perfectly Impossible offers a glimpse into a world you’ll never want to leave.

    Born deformed yet mentally keen with a frighteningly sharp wit, strong intellect, and a voracious appetite for books, Ivan is forced to interact with the world through the vivid prism of his mind. For the most part, every day is exactly the same for Ivan, which is why he turns everything into a game, manipulating people and events around him for his own amusement. That is, until a new resident named Polina arrives at the hospital. At first Ivan resents Polina. She steals his books. She challenges his routine. The nurses like her. She is exquisite. But soon he cannot help being drawn to her and the two forge a romance that is tenuous and beautiful and everything they never dared dream of. Before, he survived by being utterly detached from things and people. Now Ivan wants something more: Ivan wants Polina to live.

    As she grows older, and her make-believe worlds are not enough to protect her, she descends into drug addiction and eventual resignation. When this finally leads her to be physically beaten near the point of death, she is saved by a compassionate neighbor named Sam who gives Cinnamon the opportunity to reclaim her life. Now, working at Sam s vineyard in the beautiful Dry Creek Valley, Cinnamon Monday attempts to put her life in order, find the will to overcome past demons, and utilize her strengths to live a positive, successful life on her own terms.

    Magical spells aside, she’s snarky and selfish, and the other witches in her silent spell coven are fed up with her. Their plan to reform Tessa involves taking away her magic, saddling her with one hundred extra pounds and sending her to a weight loss spa. For good measure they call in Liam Kennedy, a charming and sexy fairy godfather, to teach her some manners. Desperate to regain her magic and determined to shed the weight, Tessa soon realizes that protecting her heart from Liam will prove to be her greatest challenge.

    Is there really room for something as unpredictable as love? Oliver Clock has everything arranged just so. A steady job running the family funeral parlour. A fridge stocked with ready meals. A drawer full of colour-coded socks. A plan (of sorts) to stay trim enough for a standard-sized coffin. And in florist Marie, he’s even found the love of his life—not that she’s aware of it.When a terrible tragedy takes Marie out of his life but leaves him with her private journal, he discovers too late that she secretly loved him back. Faced now with an empty love life, a family funeral business in trouble, a fast-approaching fortieth birthday and a notebook of resolutions he’s never achieved, Oliver resolves to open himself up to love—and all the mess that comes along with it.But, with a habit of burying his feelings, can he learn to embrace his lovability and find the woman who will make him feel whole?

    Suddenly, he’s given a mission way above his paygrade — to uncover the truth about First Lieutenant Robert Davidson, the son of an American military legend and a war hero who died in combat during the Afghanistan conflict. Or did he?To find the answer, Max must take a road trip into the heart of America’s darkness as well as his own. Along the way, he encounters an exploding home, a murderous clone of a classic TV hero, a sexy heiress, and a misguided teenager desperate for a father figure. And, oh yeah, there’s also a para-military organization that’s just waiting for the right moment to kill him. It all happens in DARK SKY, a sardonic and suspenseful mystery-thriller in which an underwhelming hero must confront an overwhelming conspiracy — not to mention himself.

    Her life-affirming attitude fascinates Thomas, a shy young man who begins to see the rich colors of life in a whole new light. As she reveals a world he never could have imagined for himself, Thomas falls head over heels for the strong young woman and becomes part of her quirky circle of friends and her loving family.Their generosity of spirit draws Thomas out of his shell. He finds strength in their visits to the children’s hospital where Janica volunteers, captivating the kids’ attention with her imaginative stories. But all too soon fate deals them a harsh blow. Can their love survive life’s obstacles?You, Me, and the Colors of Life is a moving, hopeful story about the power of love and the power of living a life filled with joy.

    She’s been fired for not compromising her principles in a high-profile case and then punching her partner in the nose for the misogynistic comment he made in retort (not her finest moment). Leaving a career that gave her purpose, Amelia can only ask, What next?Let it be better than her epic failure of a fortieth birthday party: an open bar full of no-shows except for John Ellis, a total stranger and the new associate at her ex-firm. As it turns out, though, he’s very good company—and a wake-up call. With the help of John and a lot of champagne, Amelia considers the people she’s wronged, from old besties to former boyfriends to coworkers. Amelia resolves to make amends—to those who really deserve it.One apology at a time, Amelia’s looking at the choices she’s made in the past, the new ones she’s making with John, and those she’s making for herself. What next? Maybe a second chance she never expected.

    He’s going to enjoy the day… For hyper-particular publishing heir Jonathan Grief, the day starts like any other—with a strict morning fitness regimen that’ll keep his divorced, easily irritated, cynical, forty-two-year-old self in absolutely flawless physical condition. But all it takes to put a crimp in his routine is one small annoyance. Someone has left a leather-bound day planner with the handwritten title Your Perfect Year in his spot on his mountain bike at his fitness course!Determined to discover its owner, Jonathan opens the calendar to find that someone known only as “H.” has filled it in with suggestions, tasks, and affirmative actions for each day. The more he devotes himself to locating the elusive H., the deeper Jonathan is drawn into someone else’s rich and generous narrative—and into an attitude adjustment he desperately needs.He may have ended up with a perfect year by accident, but it seems fate has set Jonathan on a path toward healing, feeling, and maybe even loving again…if only he can meet the stranger who’s changing his life one day at a time.

    Everything is peaceful in the small, secure retirement community. That is until a resident, James, dies at his birthday party. Given his age it is presumed that he died of natural causes, but foul play is suspected and three residents join forces to try and uncover the truth. Although they are retired they use their skills and experiences from their professions as a detective, crime journalist, and accountant, in the search for the murderer. But first they have to work out who a mysterious, yet familiar resident is. Just who is the mystery resident and will she prove to be an ally or foe? Will the ‘Sage Gardens Sleuths’ be able to catch the killer before one of them becomes a victim themselves?

    As a user experience designer at Virtuality, an artificial intelligence company in Los Angeles, Nicole is at her desk from sunrise to sunset. She doesn’t have time for a social life (or a love life), but that’s perfectly fine with her. Until her best friend, Parisa Shahin, announces her engagement and asks Nicole to be her maid of honor.That’s when Nicole decides to meticulously schedule out the next six months of her life—from her project due dates to her dress-fitting appointments to how many hours she plans to sleep each night. If she can stick to her schedule, she’ll balance everything fine. Of course, that’s a really big if. And after she crosses paths with emerging restaurateur Brandon Phelps, Nicole is feeling feelings she hasn’t felt in…well, ever. But scheduling time to fall in love might push even the most meticulous plans into pure chaos.