Burroughs on crack!" - Thomas F. Monteleone, New York Times bestselling authorThe bacon storm is rolling in. We hear the grease and sugar beat against the roof and windows. The doughnut people are attacking. We press close together, forgetting for a moment that we hate each other. In Die You Doughnut Bastards, amputees, lonely young people, and talking animals struggle for survival against the freakish whims of nature. A typewriter made of fetuses is the source of woe for an expecting couple. A girl with a glass jaw hides an otherworldly secret. A demonic loner goes to a birthday party in Hell. You'll encounter a killer in a marsupial mask, a prison for anorexics, haunted pancakes, and a songwriter with a cult following.Surreal prose poems give way to personal accounts of alienation and modern love. Vegetarian narwhals are sold at the supermarket. And in a city that might be your own, zombie doughnuts are rising up. Kill yourself before they kill you. Or just kill yourself.Featuring original illustrations in the style of Daniel Johnston, Die You Doughnut Bastards is the latest way to drown, brought to you by Wonderland Book Award-winning author Cameron Pierce.

    Juggling the needs of her daddy-hungry son with her first love Ben and her estranged father, she’s fresh out of her klutzy charm to help her sort out the mess she’s created.Lying low at her granny's cottage in the small village of Ballydara, in County Galway, Aislin is faced with decisions about trust, forgiveness, and the true meaning of family. Can a commitment-shy young mother find lasting love?Books by Susan Colleen BrowneThe Village of Ballydara SeriesThe Secret Well, short story ebookA Christmas Visitor, short story ebook and the sequel of The Secret Well It Only Takes Once, A Village of Ballydara Novel, Book 1 (print and ebook)Mother Love, A Village of Ballydara Novel, Book 2 (ebook, coming soon in print)Children’s StoryMorgan Carey and the Curse of the Corpse Bride, a lighthearted Halloween story for middle-grade readers (ebook, coming soon in print!)Memoir Little Farm in the Foothills: A Boomer Couple’s Search for the Slow Life (print and ebook)

    Clarke embarked on a 3,000-mile motorcycle journey around the coast of Great Britain during the wettest June on record, 2007, in spite of strong opposition from his wife for having bought a new bike and daring such an adventurous trip at his age.

    The following list is a compilation of suggested actions you can execute to ruin your life. This is not a guarantee for complete destruction of your current social status, family affairs, and or friendships. Reader discretion is advised.1. Live your life exactly how you want.2. Disregard any advice or concern from family or friends.3. Move far away from everyone you know.4. Meet a mysterious stranger and let them into your home.5. Chase after the stranger and enter a microcosm of your own making.6. Revisit all the people you have wronged.And remember: This book is not about you.

    He doesn’t know how to win the heart of the girl at the coffee shop. And he shares his home with a clan of mischievous tiny people.Yet these all turn out to be the least of his troubles.A secret race of Giants dwelling in the neighboring mountains wants Gulliver to exterminate all the Little People… or else. When folks in his hometown begin brutally dying, Gulliver must make a hard choice. But choices have consequences.And consequences, he’ll learn, come in all terrible sizes.DEAD SIZE is a comical psychological fantasy mystery thriller for fans of Christopher Moore, David Wong, and Terry Gilliam.(Advisory: this book is intended for mature audiences.)

    Using the knowledge left by his father, the Plague Doctor, he seeks to unlock the secrets of the universe, but weakness of the flesh won’t be ignored. The sordid overtures of his nymphomaniac sister, combined with his own perverse desires, soil his subjects before revelation can be found.Now the return of Philip’s father is imminent. Judgment is at hand, and if the fate of his mother taught him anything, it’s that one mustn’t disappoint the Plague Doctor.

    The sole repository of ancient Hermetic lore, it contains the alchemical rituals for transforming thought into substance, transmuting matter at will...and attaining eternal life.When Rose, a sex and pain addicted East Village tattoo artist has a torrid encounter with Martin, a battle-hardened loner, they discover they are unwitting pawns on opposing sides of a battle that has shaped the course of human history. At the center of the conflict is Paul, the villainous overlord of an underground feudal society, who guards the book's occult secrets in preparation for the fulfillment of an apocalyptic prophecy. The action is relentless as Rose and Martin fight to escape Paul's clutches and Martin's destiny as the chosen recipient of Paul's sinister legacy. Science and magic, mythology and technology converge in a monumental battle where the stakes couldn't be higher: control of the ultimate power in the universe--the Maelstrom.NA best-selling novel, The Book of Paul is the first of seven volumes in a sweeping mythological narrative tracing the mystical connections between Hermes Trismegistus in ancient Egypt, Sophia, the female counterpart of Christ, and the Celtic druids of Clan Kelly. "Long's prose is deft and clear, transporting the reader from one character's psyche to the next...this tale is a compelling one. A psychological thriller for readers who are bored with run-of-the-mill horror...Those who embrace the genre will eagerly anticipate a second installment in the series." - Kirkus Reviews "Intelligent, self-aware, and often amusing...hitting all the markers for sadistic, salacious, and scary. Long is doubtless going to build a large and loyal fan base composed of people just like him: literate folks with a bizarre sense of humor who prefer a bucket of blood to a bath filled with rose petals." - ForeWord Clarion Reviews "Totally absorbing! The Book of Paul is moving, profound, funny, terrifying and never lets you go. The prose is swift and sharp...at times, even poetic. Masterful storytelling. Hats off!!" - Henry Bean, writer/director of The Believer

    When a flying saucer crashes into his fishing hole, Jimmy tries to use the stranded survivors to jump-start his TV career. This first contact isn't accidental though. The Galactic Pool's saddest excuse for a politician has committed sabotage while plotting to rule Earth. And he's about to find out what happens when you mess with Earthlings.*81,000 words with a courteous 0.0149% F-word rate*There are sex scenes, but they are strictly telepathic. (sorry)

    It starts when Glinda the Good Witch becomes President and before long munchkins are working at fast food restaurants.

    An obnoxious, toothy, foul-mouthed, pig of a mouth. Luckily, his girlfriend doesn't seem to mind. Marie, the one-legged stripper and cyber-prostitute love of his life is very accepting of it. And then a little too accepting. What would you do if your girlfriend cheated on you with the voracious yapper under your belly button? If you live in Gutmouth's world-a bleak city where gruesome, spontaneous mutations are no big deal, klepto-roaches take anything not tied-down, drugs turn pain into pleasure, consumers are tortured for growing food, and your best friend is a misogynistic rat-man-you might do something crazy. And what if you got caught?

    His first kills were amateurish, but Clive knows that practice makes perfect. Soon, he expects to be one of the most notorious serial killers operating in the UK. He expects to be number one.There is just one problem: one of Clive's victims simply won't stay dead.It turns out that one of Clive's early kills was more than just sloppy; it wasn't a kill at all. Now, improving his craft might just be the least of Clive's worries, because the woman he thought he'd murdered knows his name. She knows where he lives.And she is coming for him...

    . . and that sometimes they have unfinished business. Shortly after death, a soul will see a door of light leading to the afterlife. But sometimes, when there’s something or someone still pulling at them, souls turn their back to this door. Instead, they haunt the living . . . Hollywood native Kane Pryce isn’t your average twenty-something dabbling musician. Yes, he’s an occasional substance abuser with a distrustful nature and self-destructive streak. And yes, most people might take him for a down-on-his-luck slacker. But to those in a very small circle, he’s also known as a ghost-hunting legend. Delving deep into the supernatural isn’t a lifestyle that Kane chose for himself, however; it was thrust upon him when his father vanished under mysterious circumstances. Unbeknownst to anyone besides Kane, his father left instructions to his son that led Kane to the Soul Trap, a powerful supernatural treasure that allows him to hunt down, capture, and send ghosts from the earthly realm to the afterlife. For Kane, power over the supernatural has come with a price. Despite his attempts to do good with this power, his efforts often leave a path of destruction. So when his paranormal side-job attracts the attention of Eva Kells, a crack reporter intent on breaking his story, Kane is reluctant can he trust her? Soon, though, risking his heart on a snooping journalist is the least of Kane’s worries. He receives a call from a terrified priest whose church is haunted by the soul of a deceased little boy. Kane takes on the case, but as he begins to learn the strange details surrounding the boy’s death, he realizes that there’s much more at stake than he ever could have imagined. And to complicate things even further, he falls hard for the boy’s mother. The only problem is, she’s been dead for almost fifty years . . . Nail-biting and darkly humorous, SoulTrapper takes readers on a thrilling ride through the ghostly realm.

    She retouches images for Redbook, Teen Vogue, Chic, Marie Claire, and Nylon. Her work involves shaving off hipbones, masking moles, and giving more sheen to the lusterless skin of supermodels. In other words, she makes people beautiful. But when a vengeful houseguest forwards Nina's private correspondence with her boss to popular feminist blog Jezebel, Nina finds herself jobless and ostracized.Then rabid obese people start rampaging on the streets of New York.Thrown together with her ex-boyfriend Chris and his fianc�, the gorgeous Molly Sweet, Ferdinand (a male model with a fat fetish), Chantal (also a model), and Dora (the vengeful houseguest who destroyed her career), Nina must fend for her life in a world where the people she hates most are now trying to eat her.Lazy Fascist Press is proud to present The Obese, a bloody satire about body image and America's obesity epidemic, written by Shirley Jackson Award-winner Nick Antosca.Also featuring the bonus story "Predator Bait."

    Along with a motley collection of survivors (including a sex-crazed female samurai modified to resemble a bipedal stegosaurus) they take refuge in the only safe haven left: Telos . . . a strange town near the end of the world, where the citizens have televisions instead of heads.

    Steven Wrigley is trying to survive his senior year of high school, still reeling from the death of his mother and adjusting to life with his father. Along the way, he meets a girl who becomes another kind of obsession: Elise Devon.Elise’s secrets keep her distanced from everyone. She has a special place she calls the Obscura. She goes there when she is depressed or angry. The Obscura makes her feel like nothing she’s ever felt before. When she loses herself to the Obscura, she fears she also gives herself to something much darker, something much more powerful. Something calling itself the Sorrow King.Who is the Sorrow King?He is carved from wood and bone.He smells like wax, dead leaves, and memories.He travels by moonlight and drinks the sorrow of others.Can love exact vengeance on a monster made from madness, depression, and misery? Or will the Sorrow King bleed the town dry before satiating himself and moving on?