But even he, with his penchant for fishnet stockings and stiletto heels, is stunned by the antics of his guests - to say nothing of the Butler who invented the ultimate sex machine.The author also wrote "Iron Maiden".

    He has a flourishing bar in the heart of Soho and in six months he will be marrying Ashley. There's just one problem. Phil has been married before, 20 years ago. To a woman. In fact, technically Phil and Hazel are still married. And what Phil doesn't know yet is that Hazel has a son - a 19-year-old son.

    Just one of 2,567 students, not at the top of the head, not at the bottom. Just a brown-haired piece of the middle. Take me out and nothing would collapse. No one would notice.But in Kansas, I was marked out. The new kid. The stranger. The boy with the weird accent. The boy with the weird dad, and no mom. From the moment Madison Pagels tripped me as I walked down the aisle of the school bus at 7:07 a.m. to the moment Madison's best friend, Chelsea Monroe, tripped me as I walked up the aisle at 3:56 p.m., and at the spitballs, hall-pulling, snickers, catcalls, "Kick me" notes, and fistfights in between, the school day pretty much seemed to revolve around me. After one rock-solid week of this, I decided that if there had to be a target on my head, I'd paint it there myself.

    Yes, he’s still too tall, too skinny, too dorky, too gay, and has that unfortunate addiction to romance novels, but he’s wised up. His One True Love is certainly still out there, but he knows now that real life is nothing like fiction. He’s cultivated the necessary fortitude to say “no” to the next Mr. Wrong, no matter how hot, exciting, and/or erotic-novel-worthy he may be.Until he meets Ian.Ian’s a new man. He’s pain-free, has escaped the job he hated and the family who stifled him, and is now—possibly—ready to dip his toe into the sea of relationships. He’s going to be cautious, though, maybe start with someone who knows the score and isn’t looking for anything too complicated. Someone with experience and simple needs that largely revolve around the bedroom.Until he meets Sam.Sam’s convinced that Ian is no one’s Mr. Right. Ian’s sure that Sam isn’t his type. They can’t both be wrong . . . can they?

    On the run, he holes up in a sheltered barrio on a bluff above the Pacific Ocean owned by his wealthy but unsympathetic father. Here he meets Sweets, the telepathic dog, laments the loss of Sofia, his madhouse lover, and plays the horses at the Del Mar Racetrack. Eventually he meets up with an old friend, Shelly Hubbard, a fellow horseplayer, record collector/dealer, and hardcore loner, who tells him about his brother, Donny, dead at the age of eighteen from a tragic dive off a thirty-foot La Jolla sea cliff known as the Clam. Eddie discovers a family secret and wants to help, but by then he's already embroiled in the psychotic incident with the Tijuana prostitutes, the madhouse lover, and the police, who are hot on his tail. Mr. Toad's Wild Ride has nothing on Whirlaway, a hilarious novel of escaped mental patients, horseplayers, and record collectors.

    A manic cross between Mark Leyner, Fran Lebowitz, and the National Enquirer, Sedaris’s collection of essays is a rollicking tour through the national Zeitgeist: a do-it-yourself suburban dad saves money by performing home surgery; a man who is loved too much flees the heavyweight champion of the world; a teenage suicide tries to incite a lynch mob at her funeral; a bitter Santa abuses the elves.David Sedaris made his debut on NPR’s Morning Edition with “SantaLand Diaries”, recounting his strange-but-true experiences as an elf at Macy’s, and soon became one of the show’s most popular commentators. With a perfect eye and a voice infused with as much empathy as wit, Sedaris writes stories and essays that target the soulful ridiculousness of our behavior. Barrel Fever is like a blind date with modern life, and anything can happen.Parade --Music for lovers --The last you'll hear from me --My manuscript --Firestone --We get along --Glen's homophobia newsletter vol. 3, no. 2 --Don's story --Season's greeting to our friends and family!!! --Jamboree --After Malison --Barrel fever --Diary of a smoker --Giantess --The curly kind --SantaLand diaries

    Jesse hates everything about Sim, from his lack of theater experience, to his obsession with LGBTQ politics, to his infatuation with, of all things, Hula hoops. Well, he doesn't hate everything. He doesn't mind Sim's eyes, or hair, or his surprising ability to be cool in a crisis. But Jesse is graduating in just a few months, and if there's one thing he does not have time for, it's a relationship. Sim knows exactly what he likes: civil rights, the circus, and sex. And he knows what he likes about Jesse. In the control booth, Jesse is exactly Sim's type—a natural leader, collected and confident. But outside the booth, he seems reclusive, acerbic and uptight—hardly Sim's type at all. Is a relationship with Jesse a real possibility, just a fantasy, or a hopelessly lost cause? When Sim offers to teach Jesse how to hula hoop as a way to relax and loosen up, the lessons ease the two men into an unexpected shared world of sex, kink, friendship, and eventually love.

    Enjoy these hilarious stories about stupid criminals, their hilarious attempts at crime, and bizarre mistakes they made that prevented them from getting away with their crimes.

    A gorgeous couple with sunshine smiles and a perfect marriage.But behind Shay’s smile lies unrest. She loves the husband she met in high school, but sometimes she feels trapped. Trapped by the island, trapped by her marriage and providing stability to her younger sister, and trapped by the whole ‘good’ ethos that underpins their company.The tourists provide a distraction. They come, stay a short while, and leave again, and that leaves Shay with opportunities. Ones where she can not be such a good girl.But on Liar’s Island you can trust no one... so Shay’s betrayal might not stay secret for long.

    He has, however, been a disappointment to his family in several ways: In appearance he is insignificant looking both in face and figure; he went to the University of Florida instead of Harvard where his forbears had been mainstays of the varsity crew for generations, and he studied agriculture instead of pointing himself toward a career in banking, bonds, or law. To say the least he is not apparently the stuff from which heroes are fashioned.As an agricultural expert specializing in fruit farming, Arthur becomes a Peace Corps volunteer and is assigned to the Republic of San Marco in the Caribbean. This weak-chinned Don Quixote soon acquires his Sancho Panza in the person of a rascally eleven-year-old boy, Pepe, who makes a bargain to be paid 400 pesos each time he saves Arthur's life. (The payments mount alarmingly!)The island's dictator thinks he can use Arthur to obtain military supplies with which to wipe out the band of guerillas in the hills who oppose his corrupt dictatorship. Failing in this the dictator decides to murder Goodpasture and cause an international incident by blaming it on the guerillas. This, he reasons, will bring the U.S. in to help stamp out the rebels.This plan also backfires (with Pepe's help, of course) and Goodpasture is taken prisoner and when they see he is a harmless eccentric he is appointed chief cook for the guerillas. From then on Arthur's life becomes a series of misadventures through which he moves serenely and from which he generally emerges unscathed (again with Pepe's assistance) until he surprisingly finds himself the guerillas' leader.Following one of the funniest bloodless revolutions imaginable Arthur Peabody Goodpasture ends up as Arthur el Gavilan, the new dictator of San Marco. "His strength was as the strength of ten because his heart was pure."

    This bundle contains all three books in the series, along with new special bonus content.In His SightsMy intuition tells me Chris might not be as straight as he wants everyone to believe. It ain’t my job to get Chris out of the closet. But when he comes to me with one highly unusual request, it’s damn hard to remain professional. How can I turn down an offer to teach a “straight” guy a few gay tricks?Not His ManI don’t usually go for stuck-up nerdy guys, but Ford is full of surprises. He seems reserved at first, but that all changes once I have him on his knees. I don’t mind taking him home for another night or three, but anything more than that? No way. The problem is, the more I’m forced to see him, the more I realize he makes me feel alive in a way that nothing else does.Under His WatchI didn’t expect to run into Ryan at the gala.I didn’t expect he would try to hire me.And I definitely didn’t think I would say yes. But there’s no way I would let him go to one of the most dangerous places in South America without my protection. But now Ryan isn’t the only one who needs my help. We’ve found a little baby boy left alone in the jungle, and if we’re to get him out alive, Ryan and I are going to need to work together.

    

    Things get worse when his high school bully, captain of the football team and meathead extraordinaire, Ric Saunders, shows up for an appointment at the chiropractic clinic where Alex works. Things go from bad to worse in a comedy of errors that leaves Alex's head spinning. Has Ric turned into a crazed stalker, ready to pick up the bullying where he left off eight years before? Or has Ric got something else in mind this time?

    Yet here she was stuck in Jackrabbit Junction, Arizona, with an ornery old man, his smartass dog, and a parade of blue-haired babes. When Claire’s grandfather and his army buddies converge in the Arizona desert, it’s her thankless job to keep them out of trouble with the opposite sex. But when she finds a human leg bone and partners with a reluctant geotechnician to dig up secrets from the past, trouble finds her. She’s losing her heart. Worse, if she doesn’t stop digging, she could lose her life.

    Especially a wolf shifter, whose presence alone was an insult to my princely principles. As Prince of the Ocelot Shifters, I prided myself on my infallible feline instincts, uncompromisable dignity, and flawless fashion sense. If having a canine follow me around at all times wasn’t bad enough, I now faced the most important moment of my entire life. The time had come to prove I was worthy of my crown. If only I could find a way to get rid of the pesky bodyguard. Grimmwolf When the King of All Shifters asked me to guard Prince Owin, I admit I had no idea what to expect. Cat shifters tend to be a little intense, not to mention kinda cranky. Owin was no exception, though he seemed crankier than most. Being his bodyguard was proving to be one of the greatest challenges of my life—but not nearly as great as convincing him there was something special between us. When Owin is faced with a perilous quest to prove his worth, I was determined to keep him safe, even if the same couldn’t be said of my heart.