Sex From Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules


Sarah Mirk - 2014
    Sex From Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules is a love and dating guidebook that gleans real-life knowledge from smart people in a variety of nontraditional relationships. Instead of telling people how to snag a man and find “true love,” the book sums up what dozens of diverse folks have learned the hard way over time—including life advice from people who are making open relationships work to people who’ve decided they’re never going to have kids—that is helpful to anyone, in any type of relationship. The eight-chapter book follows author Sarah Mirk as she tries to figure out what kind of relationships she wants to build for herself. The book includes lengthy interviews with Tristan Taormino, Erika Moen, Betty Dodson, Aya de Leon, Tomas Moniz, Tracy Clark-Flory, and others.

When Someone You Love is Kinky


Dossie Easton - 2000
    And each one of them is surrounded by a constellation of friends, lovers, parents, children and co-workers who may feel frightened, concerned, hurt or bewildered by lifestyles they don't understand.Now, for anyone who's ever overhead a conversation, glimpsed a toy, or been startled by a tattoo, there's When Someone You Love Is Kinky, a sympathetic and comprehensive handbook for helping you understand the behaviors and lifestyles of the people you care about. Therapist Dossie Easton and writer/sex educator Catherine A. Liszt team up once again to help allay your fears and uncertainties and build bridges of communication that will last a lifetime.

Conquer Me: Girl-To-Girl Wisdom About Fulfilling Your Submissive Desires


Kacie Cunningham - 2010
    But how can a woman get her needs met when she's relinquished her power to her dominant partner? With warmth, wisdom and a down-to-earth approach, experienced submissive Kacie Cunningham analyzes the realities of the dominant-submissive lifestyle and suggests ways in which both partners can experience the greatest possible growth and pleasure. At the heart of the book is an emotion Kacie has dubbed "Conquer Me" -- which she defines as "the submissive's internal demand for a show of strength." Without a clear understanding of "conquer me," both submissive and dominant may find themselves at odds -- either fighting unhappily, or watching the passion ebb from their relationship. This book explains this unique need and how to get it met -- essential knowledge for any submissive or couple who wants to get the most out of their D/s lifestyle.

Power Circuits: Polyamory in a Power Dynamic


Raven Kaldera - 2010
    Both lifestyles are on the cutting-edge frontiers of romantic and sexual relating, and for a long time practitioners of both have found little sympathy in either camp. This is the first book of its kind that navigates the waters of effective polyamory and power exchanges, with many essays from the brave practitioners who swim there.

The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance


Mistress Lorelei - 1997
    The brainchild of an experienced and wickedly creative dominant woman, The Mistress Manual gives you the skills and encouragement you need to turn your male into an obedient, devoted, and very happy helpmeet!"

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction


Jay Wiseman - 1992
    More and more people are experimenting with this exciting , consensual form of erotic play. SM 101 is your basic guidebook to safe rewarding SM. This book includes: finding partners, negotiating the scene you want, bondage techniques, spanking and whipping, erotic torture, role playing, related practices, physical and emotional safety. Must read book.

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism


Philip Miller - 1988
    We made it light-hearted and fun to read because SM is fun to do. That's why we do it. But fun is only SM's overture; for those who grasp its message, SM is sexual magic. The right blend of trust, fantasy, and sensuality creates an intensely erotic and deeply intimate stew. We take away our lovers' freedom and lead them to profound liberty. We peer into the dark together, transforming it to light. In these pages you will find clear explanations for the curious, and solid advice, safety measures and steamy suggestions for the adventurous. Allow us to guide you through the captivating realms of sensuality, dreamed of by millions, realized by few, and understood by fewer still.

The Loving Dominant


John Warren - 1994
    Out of print for several years, this classic is now available once again, now in a revised and updated second edition in a quality trade binding.From its advice on "Stalking the Wild Submissive" to its extensive Resource Guide, "The Loving Dominant" offers perhaps the greatest breadth of subject of any basic BDSM guide available today -- including some basic toymaking patterns and an entire chapter on BDSM photography!

Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life


Justin J. Lehmiller - 2018
    What do Americans really want when it comes to sex? And is it possible for us to get what we want? Justin J. Lehmiller, one of the country's leading experts on human sexuality and author of the popular blog Sex and Psychology, has made it his career's ambition to answer these questions. He recently concluded the largest and most comprehensive scientific survey of Americans' sexual fantasies ever undertaken, a monumental two-year study involving more than 4,000 Americans from all walks of life, answering questions of unusual scope. Based on this study, Tell Me What You Want offers an unprecedented look into our fantasy worlds and what they reveal about us. It helps readers to better understand their own sexual desires and how to attain them within their relationships, but also to appreciate why the desires of their partners may be so incredibly different. If we only better understood the incredible diversity of human sexual desire and why this diversity exists in the first place, we would experience less distress, anxiety, and shame about our own sexual fantasies and better understand why our partners often have sexual proclivities that are so different from our own. Ultimately, this book will help readers to enhance their sex lives and to maintain more satisfying relationships and marriages in the future by breaking down barriers to discussing sexual fantasies and allowing them to become a part of readers' sexual realities.

Bow Down: Lessons from Dominatrixes on How to Be a Boss in Life, Love, and Work


Lindsay Goldwert - 2021
    Where women not only stop apologizing, but seize—and enjoy—control. This is the quickly mainstreaming world of BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism)—and it has a lot to teach women about empowerment, negotiation, open-mindedness, and more. Journalist Lindsay Goldwert, intrigued by this seismic cultural shift, traveled across the United States to meet the stars of the subculture, who spoke frankly with her about their lives and work. In this “lively, funny, thoughtful channeling of wisdom” (Sara Benincasa, author of Real Artists Have Day Jobs), these Alpha women show you how you can reset the power dynamic in any situation to get what you want—whether it’s from a husband, a boss, or partner. They share strategies for revolutionizing not only your sex life, but your career, your relationships, and most importantly, your inner foundations. With bondage gear popping up on the big screen, the runway, the red carpet, and in celebrity lingerie lines, BDSM is officially moving out of the dungeon and into the sun. Let Bow Down help you learn how to use it. “Whether your fantasies lie in the bedroom or the boardroom, Lindsay will give you the courage to go forth and dominate.” (Sarah Cooper, author of How to Be Successful without Hurting Men’s Feelings).

Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission


Gloria G. Brame - 1993
    While the topics are exotic and erotic, the authors handle each one in a sensitive, thorough, analytical, and fascinating way and manage to explain a secret world to those who might wish to visit.

The Heart of Dominance: A Guide to Practicing Consensual Dominance


Anton Fulmen - 2016
    If you are new to dominance, still figuring out just what it’s all about or what you want it to mean to you, then this book will provide you with a solid foundation from which to start. If you already practice dominance and are interested in improving your ability to create deep and lasting power dynamics then you’ll find many advanced concepts and concrete techniques to integrate into your own personal style. What consensual dominance means here is any kind of intentional, mutually desired, mutually fulfilling exercise of power and control between partners. There are a lot of different kinds of connections that fit that broad definition, and the fundamental principles that this book explores can be applied to any of them. So it should be just as valuable whether you practice dominance in occasional intense evenings within an otherwise egalitarian relationship, in a full-time power exchange relationship, in long distance or online relationships, in pick-up play with strangers at BDSM clubs, or anywhere else. This book also doesn’t assume that you fit any stereotype about what a person who dominates should look or act like. It looks at dominance as a practice -- as something that any person can learn to do, rather than something that some people are -- and it is meant for anyone with a desire to learn to practice dominance well. It is written to be accessible to absolute beginners, as well as to switches and primals and tops and mommies and daddies and bigs and masters and trainers and Goreans and heads-of-house and owners and label-defying powerplayers. (And don’t worry if you have no idea what any of those labels means – dominance has nothing to do with labels.) If you have an interest in the bedrock principles of inspiring, deepening, maintaining and enjoying control over a person who dearly, desperately wants you to control them, then this book is for you.

The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women


Tristan Taormino - 1997
    Tristan Taormino offers the kind of informed reassurance that can encourage even an absolute beginner to explore this nerve-rich part of the body, either alone or with a partner of any gender. Anal sex enthusiasts may need no encouragement, but will welcome Taormino’s sense of adventure and her detailed discussions of toys, fantasy play, and positions. Beginning by dispelling common myths about anal eroticism, Taormino goes on to illustrate anatomy, give tips on building trust and communicating desires, and provide reliable, easy-to-understand information on safety, preparation, hygiene, and much more. This new edition has been substantially expanded and revised to include new information on masturbation, anal health, BDSM and anal sex, and many other topics. In a new feature, Taormino answers actual reader questions.

Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge


Tristan TaorminoMidori - 2012
    The book brings together diverse voices from the kink community in an unprecedented way: each chapter is written by a different sexuality/BDSM educator. Divided into two sections, the first section features thorough, thoughtful pieces--on everything from flogging to bondage--packed with techniques and beautifully illustrated with original images from artist Katie Diamond. The second section is dedicated to role-playing fantasies and personal manifestos. From age play to masochism, these chapters cover some of the edgiest, most taboo and controversial elements of kink in depth. The Ultimate Guide to Kink features the expertise of renowned educators writing passionately on their favorite subjects, including Patrick Califia, Midori, Laura Antoniou, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, Madison Young, Hardy Haberman, Felice Shays, Ignacio Rivera, Sarah Sloane, Mollena Williams, FifthAngel, and Edge. It will educate, inspire, and challenge both newcomers to the world of kink and experienced BDSM players.

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy


Jessica Fern - 2020
    Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a theoretical treatise and a practical guide.