Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    Branna O’Dwyer has devoted her life to her magick, always dutifully accepting the responsibility that comes along with her ancestral roots as the Dark Witch of Mayo. As a witch, she is skilled in her abilities to concoct potions and write spells and she is a pillar of strength and healing. To family and friends, she is a gifted homemaker, her cottage radiating warmth and comfort. But no amount of magick can help her in the one area she truly struggles – love. Nora Roberts’ Blood Magick is the wickedly dramatic conclusion to The Cousins O’Dwyer trilogy, a series set around the Dark Witches of Mayo and their quest to bring an end to the evil reign of the dark sorcerer Cabhan. It first began with the story of Iona Sheehan, the young American who journeys to Ireland in search of her roots, and then secondly focused on Connor O’Dwyer as he comes to grips with two of the strongest powers he’s ever known: dark magick and true love. The third and final chapter surrounds Branna O’Dwyer, the Dark Witch of Mayo, a conjurer of dark magick who must find a way to destroy the evil Cabhan once and for all. You also get the following in this Summary & Analysis of Blood Magick: • Book Review • Story Setting of Blood Magick • Details of Characters & Key Character Analysis • Summary of the text, with some analytical comments interspersed • Discussion & Analysis of Themes, Symbols… • And Much More! This Analysis of Blood Magick fills the gap, making you understand more while enhancing your reading experience.

    Collected in this 128-page volume is the two-issue series Appleseed Databook, containing detailed descriptions of the people, places, machines, and organizations that populate this fascinating world, plus a previously unreleased twenty-five-page story featuring all of those people, places, machines, and organizations! Appleseed Databook is an absolute must for established fans of the Appleseed saga!

     The Advanced Learning Online World (ALOW), have been running strongly for over a decade. Curing genetic and acquired diseases, restoring anatomy and organs. All the while the patient mentally plays within the fantasy world under a medically induced coma. James C. Corwell assumes his treatment as the left side of his body under goings restoration, due to a military accident. Just in time for CAMPAIGN! Where dungeon, raid, invasion and scenario all merge into three months of conquest, mayhem, and debauchery. Never an avid gamer, this loner must navigate his way through a world set upon role-play and politics. Can he do what has eluded him since birth, and make something of himself? To further add insult to injury, his brother purchases the Nobleman Package as a practical joke. James, aka Hedge Lord Jaeger Persik, turns to the past twenty eight years of life experience, and an unfamiliar creatures for help. Will this black sheep finally become part of a flock, with his uncommon way of thinking and his ability to adapt? Or will frustration and ignorance reign? Warning: This book contains scenes of graphic adult situations, language, and non-traditional relationship structures.

    Others send it straight to hell... Grab all four books in the thrilling CYBER SEED QUADRILOGY for one low price, in this great value 1200-page sci-fi box set! When Kurt Jacobs imagines the ultimate gadget — one capable of replacing phones, credit cards, keys and TVs — the idea consumes his every waking moment. When the Sycamore corporation buys into Kurt's creation and The Seed becomes a reality, his every dream comes true. Power like this has never existed. The launch of The Seed, a powerful microchip implant that turns each user's palm into a fully functioning trackpad and effectively turns them into walking computers, breaks all sales records. Alongside the augmented reality UltraLenses which act as the system's display, it immediately renders all handheld devices obsolete. But amid all of the awe and optimism, there is far more going on behind the curtain than Kurt or anyone else could ever have predicted... Cyber Seed Quadrilogy imaginatively chronicles The Seed's colossal impact on a society unprepared to handle it, from the high hopes of launch day to the breakneck descent into corporate dystopia. Remarkable apps and groundbreaking features that make life easier and more enjoyable... unprecedented surveillance and privacy abuses in a world where your eyes can no longer be trusted... both sides of a timely story unfold in this 1200-page complete series box set. And Kurt Jacobs, the guilt-wracked genius responsible for it all, may well be the only man who can do anything to put things right... This box set contains all four books in the CYBER SEED QUADRILOGY, previously published individually as: 1) Sycamore 2) Sycamore 2 3) Sycamore X (10-story collection) 4) Sycamore XL (12-story collection) Imaginative new technologies, devious conspiracies, and a whole lot of action-packed drama... dive in to the thrilling CYBER SEED QUADRILOGY today! (From the author of the blockbuster international bestseller, Not Alone)

    Equipped with the power to become the best merchant, our hero ventures forth in an adventure unlike any other. The Merchant System-3rd edition— revised and reformatted (9/30/2018) Jacob Rolfe's life took a turn for the worse after being abandoned at a very young age. Persecuted by his home village and cursed by misfortune, the only fortunate turn in his melancholic existence appeared when he became a slave to a noble house. Good things didn't last for Jacob, though. One fateful day– his short, sad life ended at the tender age of 14. But even death wasn't the end of it for him. Awakening, Jacob feels just the same as ever, except for one minor change... "Ding... System Initializing... Now activating the [Merchant's Hack]."

    Loved it!"★★★ A clever mash of X-files, Tombstone, and Dresden Files! ★★★In 1885, President Grover Cleveland commissioned a special group of agents to investigate paranormal activities plaguing the nation. Unwilling to accept failure, he granted each the authority to operate outside the law. His directive was simple. No rules. No excuses. Just get it done.Remy Kincaid and his cynical steed, Fable, head to the town of Wharton, Texas, to investigate the disappearance of several young children. As clues lead them from a decrepit old house to an abandoned silver mine, they soon learn that an ancient evil is trying to release itself upon the world.★★★ If you enjoyed The Survivalist Series, you'll love The Watchman! ★★★

    with a peculiar talent.After years of destitution, Adam Eden's life is finally on the up. But, whilst out celebrating his recent good fortune, Adam unwittingly chooses death over embarrassment.Awaking in a future of leisure, luxury, and immortality, Adam suffers serious shrinkage and is branded an 'undesirable'. Shunned by family and neighbours for his first-life sins, can he find respect and redemption in this tightly controlled world? Facing a grim eternity, Adam wants out.A randomly chosen day trip changes everything.Though cruel and heartless, they always let you choose your weapon.

     With the weight of his conscience growing by the mission and a fiancee who makes him want to be a better man, Carl Ramsey decides to try his hand at being one of the good guys. But there's a long line of enemies who won't forget so easily. Mission 13: Mission Inadvisable The Mobius crew gets a job offer so vile they not only turn it down, they set out to stop the secretive crime lord doing the hiring. Along the way, they manage to accidentally double-cross an old friend. Sometimes, no matter what you try, you're destined to be on the wrong side of the law. Mission 14: Moral and Orbital Decay Mort's son is on the run from the Convocation. He's fled to a remote mining station and looking for a quick ride from his father's old crew. But when magic gets out of hand, suddenly everyone's more concerned about stopping the space station from crashing into a planet than finding a fugitive. Mission 15: Planet Hustlers Pirates capture the stunnji homeworld, and Rai Kub's people turn to Carl Ramsey to find a way to convince them to leave. Carl's plan? A lot of fast talking, subterfuge, and the crookedest game of poker ever played. The stakes: the fate of a refugee planet. Mission 16: Eternity or Bust When your bride-to-be makes a simple request, a smart man makes it happen. When your outlaw fiancee wants her wedding on Earth, where most of the galaxy's top law enforcement agencies are headquartered, it's going to take bribery, back room deals, and ratting out some old associates. But Carl won't be able to live with himself unless he gets his friends out of the jam he puts them in. Bonus Short Story: For Old Time's Sake With retirement in full force, the crew of the Mobius take on a decidedly low-key villain: the interlopers who're looking to ruin their gig hustling simulator combat for free meals.

    The streets beneath his transport vehicle buckled, tossing the van in the air like a toy. He survived the crash, but the world is now in ruins. However, for a condemned man, this disaster may be just the lucky break he needed.Emilio has been left behind!Six detainees were in the van prior to the quake. However, only Emilio and one other prisoner were still around when he regained consciousness. Emilio searched the surrounding area, but to no avail. The missing prisoners believed in an event called the rapture, when Jesus would collect His saints before raining down unbearable wrath on the planet’s remaining inhabitants.Can Emilio and Mackenzie survive the gauntlet of destruction known as the Great Tribulation?Mackenzie Thompson, the other prisoner still present, is convinced that it was the rapture and that they’ve been left behind. She also believes a time of unparalleled torment is about to be poured out upon the earth. Emilio and Mackenzie have a place to go, but it is hundreds of miles away. The roads are unusable, and the two of them are fugitives on the run. If this truly is the Great Tribulation, it’s off to a bad start.Don’t miss this exciting new end-times thriller. Get your copy of Tribulation today!As with all works by Mark Goodwin, this book contains no profanity and no embarrassing sex scenes. However, if you are offended by conservative principles and references to Scripture, this book might not be for you.

    Hephaestus Books represents a new publishing paradigm, allowing disparate content sources to be curated into cohesive, relevant, and informative books. To date, this content has been curated from Wikipedia articles and images under Creative Commons licensing, although as Hephaestus Books continues to increase in scope and dimension, more licensed and public domain content is being added. We believe books such as this represent a new and exciting lexicon in the sharing of human knowledge. This particular book is a collaboration focused on Sword of Truth books.

     Witch World The first book in the classic Witch World saga by beloved fantasy and science fiction author Andre Norton. Simon Tregarth, a man on the run, escapes from our world into another, where magic still has power. He finds new purpose in the service of Estcarp, whose witches use their ancient knowledge of magic to protect their home. But a new threat is rising: the mysterious Kolder, who possess powers and technology unlike anything known in the Witch World. It will take Simon and the forces of Estcarp all their might, their courage, and their magic to drive back the insurmountable enemy. Web of the Witch World Fantasy and science fiction Grand Master Andre Norton’s Witch World saga continues in Web of the Witch World. After repulsing the Kolder, the land of Estcarp is safe, until a sudden disappearance sends Simon Tregarth and his allies on a quest to stop an enigmatic new danger. Though the Kolder were defeated before, they rise again with a vengeance, and their plot is even more sinister than before. From Karsten in the south to the swamps of Tor to the Kolder’s impenetrable stronghold and beyond, Simon must fight to stop the invaders of his adopted home once and for all. Year of the Unicorn Year Of the Unicorn returns to Andre Norton’s Witch World with a tale of adventure and magic. The orphan Gillan grew up in an abbey in High Hallack, always knowing she was different and never feeling at home. When the lords of High Hallack pledge twelve brides to the Were Riders in exchange for their protection, Gillan is faced with an opportunity few would consider: to take the place of one of the twelve chosen women and go off to parts unknown to marry one of these strange wild men. But Gillan leaps at the chance to leave the only home she has ever known in the hopes of finding something she was meant to do. And her rare gift to see through illusions that fool others will prove vital in a journey where nothing is as it seems.

    She had once wanted to be an artist herself, but discovered she found more joy in helping other people find the truly talented artists' creations. Her life is simple but satisfying. 2045 Graham is a member of an elite secret agency called Time Travel Guardians. His job is to travel to different time periods and collects time travel devices to bring them to his own time, and store them in a safe government facility. The next device he was assigned to collect is a Clara Moore painting that has been found in an art gallery in Denver. After literally running into each other, Destiny and Graham begin a great adventure together- to 1879. Once they make it back to 2017, Destiny can't explain the desperate need to stay with Graham when he returns to his own time. Graham is concerned about the new information Destiny will learn about what will be her future. If she learns too much, it could change history. Come travel through time with Destiny and Graham in this brand new series of time travel, mystery, and intrigue, along with a good old-fashioned love story.

    Following on from the success of his thriller, Ex Machina, Alex Garland returns to cerebral sci-fi with his adaptation of Jeff VanderMeer's cult novel -a tale of a biologist attempting to uncover the mystery of her husband's disappearance into a restricted zone.What she and her fellow scientists discover is a world populated by mysterious life forms that might offer answers, but which exposes them to madness and death.Beside the screenplay, the book also includes 20 pages of behind-the-scenes photos.

    These aging giants, calling themselves the ‘freakin’ old guys’ are hard-working leaders in their respective fields and have a menagerie of skills to show for it. But what starts out as a dream quickly turns into a nightmare.With these guys, the action never stops.While preparing to set sail, they have a run in with a teenage troublemaker that plagues the locals. The son of a senator, Sean has no respect for authority and is a little lost. The FOGs come from an era where a little rough handling never hurt anyone, and so strike a deal with Sean’s mother to have him sail along with them. She agrees, hoping that two weeks of hard work alongside six respected, intelligent men will get Sean turned around. Things quickly take a turn for the worst when the six small boats get caught in the crossfire of a mafia drug deal. It soon becomes clear that some of the group’s members may be hiding secrets and past lives from the others… Suddenly, the six boats are caught in an odd fog bank, and when they come out the other side, things are not as they seem. Their radios and compasses no longer work and time seems to have lost its way. Where are they? Things quickly start to defy the accepted order of things. Suddenly dropped into their own Odyssey, they fight against strange creatures and demi-goddesses as they try to find a way back home. Together, they must navigate this strange new land. Caly’s Island is a rip-roaring pseudo-fantasy thriller of a modern quest to conquer the unknown amongst seas of turmoil. Dick Herman retired from the US Air Force in 1983 with the rank of Major after serving for twenty- one years. He has flown over 200 combat missions himself and was stationed in Vietnam, West Germany and Great Britain. He has flown the F-4 and C-130 and received five medals, including the Bronze Star. He and his English-born wife now live in Fair Oaks, California. He is the author of several aviation thrillers from Endeavour Press.Venture Press is a science fiction and fantasy imprint of Endeavour Press, the UK’s leading independent digital publisher. We are committed to the discovery and rediscovery of immensely talented authors in the SFF genre, and continue to push boundaries in search of great literature. Join us as we venture across universes and unknown landscapes – past, present and future. Sign up to our newsletter: http://bit.ly/1LUVI4n Follow us on Twitter @venture_pressFacebook: http://on.fb.me/1NnFow7