Sadie’s lover calls her as he drives to meet his wife at marriage counseling. Gwen pines for her roommate, a man who will hold her hand but then tells her that her palm is sweaty. And Sasha agrees to have a drink with her married lover’s wife and then immediately regrets it. These are the women of Single, Carefree, Mellow, and in these eleven sublime stories they are grappling with unwelcome houseguests, disastrous birthday parties, needy but loyal friends, and all manner of love, secrets, and betrayal. In “Cranberry Relish” Josie’s ex—a man she met on Facebook—has a new girlfriend he found on Twitter. In “Blue Heron Bridge” Nina is more worried that the Presbyterian minister living in her garage will hear her kids swearing than about his finding out that she’s sleeping with her running partner. And in “The Rhett Butlers” a teenager loses her virginity to her history teacher and then outgrows him. In snappy, glittering prose that is both utterly hilarious and achingly poignant, Katherine Heiny chronicles the ways in which we are unfaithful to each other, both willfully and unwittingly. Maya, who appears in the title story and again in various states of love, forms the spine of this linked collection, and shows us through her moments of pleasure, loss, deceit, and kindness just how fickle the human heart can be.

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    A manic cross between Mark Leyner, Fran Lebowitz, and the National Enquirer, Sedaris’s collection of essays is a rollicking tour through the national Zeitgeist: a do-it-yourself suburban dad saves money by performing home surgery; a man who is loved too much flees the heavyweight champion of the world; a teenage suicide tries to incite a lynch mob at her funeral; a bitter Santa abuses the elves.David Sedaris made his debut on NPR’s Morning Edition with “SantaLand Diaries”, recounting his strange-but-true experiences as an elf at Macy’s, and soon became one of the show’s most popular commentators. With a perfect eye and a voice infused with as much empathy as wit, Sedaris writes stories and essays that target the soulful ridiculousness of our behavior. Barrel Fever is like a blind date with modern life, and anything can happen.Parade --Music for lovers --The last you'll hear from me --My manuscript --Firestone --We get along --Glen's homophobia newsletter vol. 3, no. 2 --Don's story --Season's greeting to our friends and family!!! --Jamboree --After Malison --Barrel fever --Diary of a smoker --Giantess --The curly kind --SantaLand diaries

    New York Times bestselling historian and novelist Thomas Fleming takes us back to the days of the founders, detailing the surprising facts of American life in 1776 - including its resemblance to today.

    Why else would he be so talented at expertly crafting stories that defy expectations? For me there is no greater joy than seeing an artist excel at his craft." - Aintitcoolnews.com Quite literally, no escape. Because he's always with you. And in the real world -the world of you, the reader - HE WAITS will stay in your mind in a way that you won't expect ...PLUS THE SECOND STORY, 'KEEP YOUR CHILDREN CLOSE'A campsite. A family holiday. A broken down car. And an approaching breakdown truck that is just the start of Shelley's nightmare. By the time the sun sets, someone in that field will be dead, and Shelley must somehow make sure it isn't one of her children ... KEEP YOUR CHILDREN CLOSE is a story that you will find impossible to predict.PRAISE FOR LUKE SMITHERD'S WRITING:"... a novel that intrigues, enthralls, horrifies, thrills, and hits the reader with an emotional resonance as only the best stories can." - Ain't It Cool News.com"... strong characterization, moral quandaries, mystery, and a whole lot of tense moments. Reading the final sentence was truly a bittersweet moment." - SFsignal.com, Hugo award-winning websiteWant to download the first few pages of this book for FREE so that you can try before you buy? Click the 'Send sample now' button on the upper right hand side of this page to do just that!AMAZON REVIEWS OF LUKE SMITHERD'S WORK:"I couldn't help myself and read this is one sitting." - simon211175, Amazon Vine Voice"It was one of those books where you tell yourself you will read just one more page, then look at the clock and realise that it's 2 hours later. I would thoroughly recommend it." - Elaine Hosegood"I have owned a Kindle for about 2 years and downloaded some excellent books for very little cost but Luke Smitherd's works beat the lot." - Silversmith, Amazon UK Review"As soon as I started reading I was completely sucked in, which very rarely happens for me. I couldn't wait to get home and read it each night. I laughed. I cried. I did actual real life gasps of horror." - Katie, Amazon Review

    Each volume’s series editor selects notable works from hundreds of magazines, journals, and websites. The guest editor then chooses the best twenty or so pieces to publish. This unique system has made the Best American series the most respected – and most popular – of its kind.This special e-book sampler contains eleven selections from the 2011 editions.From The Best American Short Stories® edited by Geraldine Brooks:Housewifely Arts by Megan Mayhew BergmanPhantoms by Steven MillhauserFrom The Best American Essays® edited by Edwidge Danticat:Chapels by Pico IyerThere Are Things Awry Here by Lia PurpuraFrom The Best American Mystery Stories edited by Harlan Coben:A Crime of Opportunity by Ernest J. FinneyFrom The Best American Science and Nature Writing edited by Mary Roach:The Killer in the Pool by Tim Zimmermann, Jr.The Whole Fracking Enchilada by Sandra SteingraberFrom The Best American Sports Writing edited by Jane Leavy:The Surfing Savant by Paul SolotaroffNew Mike, Old Christine by Nancy HassFrom The Best American Travel Writing edited by Sloane Crosley: My Year at Sea by Christopher BuckleyMiami Party Boom by Emily Witt

    And when Lady Peculiar’s butler – a part-time comedian – is found drowned in his own mango chutney, Detective Inspector Clinton Trump comes blundering onto the scene – ready to shun logic, breach protocol and trust in his own gut instincts. What will South East England’s greatest detective uncover? Is her ladyship a murderess? Was the killer a comedy rival? Or are darker forces at work in this particular corner of Brokenshire? Join our self-proclaimed British detective genius, as he races against time to solve this very funny murder mystery – so he can play golf at the weekend! The first novel in the ‘Clinton Trump Detective Genius’ series This riotous English detective spoof is murderously good fun from first page to last, as Inspector Trump and his unwanted sidekick, Constable Dinkel, encounter a procession of crazy comedy characters in the Great British countryside. Stuffed solid with British humour (or ‘humor’, if you’re one of the many American tourists who visit Upper Goosing), its mix of black comedy, British farce, funny one-liners and downright silliness is guaranteed to generate tremendous titters across the very civilised world.More amateur sleuth than professional investigator, Clinton Trump will bring a smile to your face like no other Trump has before, or probably ever will. So, jump aboard the Trump detection train, blow your Clinton trumpet and join the movement – Make Murder-Mystery Great Again! A Word from Detective Inspector Clinton Trump: “Greetings from Upper Goosing – the murder capital of Europe. You’ll find the scenery, tea rooms and cake shops are well worth the risk of a premature, grisly death. But before purchasing this novel, please note that it only employs British English, as spoken by Her Majesty the Queen. I don’t want anyone griping about me saying ‘per cent’ instead of ‘percent’, ‘metre’ instead of ‘meter’ or ‘tea’ instead of ‘coffee’. If you must grumble, please do as the English do and complain only to yourself. And if you’re planning on enjoying a cup of Earl Grey with this quality e-book, please remember: it’s tea first, milk second. Finally, don’t be afraid to laugh thunderously when reading this novel. Just don’t laugh yourself to death – we have enough fatalities around here as it is. Thank you.”

    Follow Max on his lifelong quest to produce the perfect novel. Touching, irreverent, hilarious and sad. Every writer should read this story. Every writer will relate to Max. please note: This is a SHORT STORY consisting of 2,500 words.

    In one afterlife, you may find that God is the size of a microbe and unaware of your existence. In another version, you work as a background character in other people’s dreams. Or you may find that God is a married couple, or that the universe is running backward, or that you are forced to live out your afterlife with annoying versions of who you could have been. With a probing imagination and deep understanding of the human condition, acclaimed neuroscientist David Eagleman offers wonderfully imagined tales that shine a brilliant light on the here and now.

    Henry, William Sydney Porter was an incredibly prolific and popular master of the short story in the early twentieth century. His stories are known for being witty, playful, full of plot twists, and marked by surprise endings. The author had a special fondness for New York City and a deep interest and appreciation for the ordinary folk who populate his timeless tales.   First published in 1911, his eleventh collection features such classics as “The Duplicity of the Hargraves,” about a destitute Confederate major and his spinster daughter in Washington, DC, and their encounter with a vaudeville actor; as well as “Makes the Whole World Kin,” about a thief and a sick old man who form a surprising bond. Once entered, O. Henry’s world becomes an unforgettable destination, and over a century later, readers continue to return—again and again.   Sixes and Sevens includes “The Duplicity of Hargraves,” “Makes the Whole World Kin,” “The Last of the Troubadours,” “Witches’ Loaves,” “The Adventures of Shamrock Jolnes,” “A Ghost of a Chance,” “New York by Camp Fire Light,” “Ulysses and the Dogman,” and more.  This ebook has been professionally proofread to ensure accuracy and readability on all devices.

    Featuring content from Quirk's nerdiest titles plus all-new, never-before-seen good stuff from the geekiest bloggers in the known universe. Chapters include: GEEK SKILLS FROM POP CULTURE: How to survive a haunted house, perform the Vulcan nerve pinch, decode ciphers, and master other survival skills. GEEKS IN ACTION: How to make amazing YouTube vids, create comic books, handle yourself in an online multiplayer game, and generally get your geek on. THE GEEK GATHERING: How to have the best convention experience of your life. GEEK LOVE: How to craft an online dating profile, plan a geeky marriage proposal, pass on geek wisdom to your kids, and otherwise enjoy the human emotion of "love."

    Circumstances kept her from getting her college degree out of high school, and now, at twenty-eight, she is finally getting her life on track. She and her mother, Janet, share a house, and they get along well. Nothing has prepared Mariah for the news heading her way via a letter from the law offices of Hardy, Hardy, and Hardy. From the letter, Mariah learns that she was born to a teenage girl named Kathleen Warren, the granddaughter of a wealthy woman named Cora. Cora’s legacy is one of pain and loss. Her daughter died tragically, and her granddaughter withered away behind the walls of the old Victorian house on the shore. Their pain was so great that it has lingered, and when Mariah is told she has inherited the house from her hitherto unknown great-grandmother, she must contend with the spirits dwelling there when she takes possession of the charming white house by the sea. Since she was a child, Mariah was a loner whose imaginary friends were her constant companions. Now, as an adult, when she is confronted by visions while packing up her dead relatives belongings, she isn’t afraid. She is, however, intrigued, and with the help of a mysterious man named Jerry and an investigator named Sam, Mariah seeks to discover what the “ghosts” are trying to tell her.

    It was the Professor's Wife, always a perceptive hostess, came to her husband's rescue by saying, "Top of the stairs, end of the hall, last door."Oddly enough, it was the start of a puzzling and all but unspeakable misadventure. As it were.

    WALPUSKI’S TYPEWRITER by Frank Darabont They say that genius is ten percent inspiration and ninety percent perspiration. For Howard Walpuski, it’s an IBM Selectric II typewriter, a nefarious secret, and a whole lot of blood. THE BOY by Bentley Little Christine has found the perfect neighborhood to raise her family: a quaint, quiet, friendly place where everyone gets along. Everyone, that is, except for the boy. TUMOR by Benjamin Percy He dodged death in the nick of time when the golf ball-sized tumor was surgically removed from his head. But the tumor isn’t done with him. TWISTED AND GNARLED by Billie Sue Mosiman He’s smart. Smarter than anyone knows. No one has linked him to the string of bodies he’s left up and down the California coast. Only one woman has ever come close—and she’s no match for his intellect. THE PALAVER by Kealan Patrick Burke It’s time for Oscar Dennihy to close his failing barber shop and retire—until a mysterious customer tells him a truly hair-raising tale . . . and gives Oscar a wonderful and terrible new purpose. INDIA BLUE by Glen Hirshberg Like most Americans, Enrico never gave much thought to the sport of cricket. Not until America’s Rockin’ Professional Cricket game—a spectacle that will live forever in his most horrible nightmares. Praise for the Dark Screams series “A wicked treat [featuring] . . . some of the genre’s best.”—Hellnotes, on Volume One “Five fun-to-read stories by top-notch horror scribes. How can you lose? The answer: you can’t.”—Atomic Fangirl, on Volume Two “If you have not tried the series yet, do yourself a favor and grab a copy of any (or all) of the books for yourself.”—Examiner.com, on Volume Three “Fans of horror of every variety will find something to love in these pages.”—LitReactor, on Volume Four “[Volume Five] runs the gamut from throwback horror to lyrical and heartbreaking tales.”—Publishers Weekly

    If you like fun, adventure, and interesting tech, you’ll be sure to love something within this collection. Comprising three full length novels, and two novellas, these stories will keep you entertained for many hours. Warning: Readers might not want to come back to the real world after adventuring through these stories. Hollow Space: Venture Forced to hyperjump during a brutal ambush, Sara Lorelle, navigator of the the last human colony ship, discovers they’ve jumped to somewhere that shouldn’t exist. Trapped inside a pocket universe known only as Hollow Space, where technology inexplicably fails, Sara and her crew have to face the lethal politics of their only destination: Haven—a decrepit space station, home to hostile aliens and rival factions that soon sees the Venture crew up to their necks in trouble. With their only hope placed in Tairon Cauder, a reckless scoundrel, they will battle impossible species, confront their fears, and uncover ancient and terrible secrets. In a place where those who shoot first live the longest, the Venture crew will have to push their limits if they are to save themselves and the human race from extinction. Hollow Space: Shadowkill Kina wants to be an assassin—to join the mysterious Wraiths and secure her future on the space station of Haven. A place where it’s kill or be killed and career options are limited. But Haven is not your granddad’s space station. It’s rotten to the core and every scumbag is out for one thing only: themselves. With just her two daggers for protection, Kina is thrown into the darkness to confront a pack of bounty hunters eager to end her ambitions—and life. Code Breakers: Alpha In a post-apocalyptic future, humanity survives within a single domed city run by a shadowy benefactor known only as The Family. Each week the death lottery claims more lives and Gerry Cardle, head of the lottery, inexplicably finds himself the next on the list. Something's wrong with the system. A deadly artificial intelligence has breached security. Gerry has just 7 days to live. Forced off the grid, Gerry has to do the unthinkable: willingly leave the city. What he finds in the abandoned lands will shatter his perception of what it means to be human. Everything he had been told before was a lie. Code Breakers: Beta The fanatical Red Widows sweep destruction across the abandoned lands. Their aggression threatens to destroy the city Gerry had risked his life to save. Petal, the woman Gerry has come to love is dying. The despotic cabal, The Family, demand he brings her to them, but she's missing, running from the Widows, searching for the truth of her origins before it's too late. When their paths cross, Petal and Gerry will hold the fate of humankind in their hands—if they can survive the malevolent digital entity that stalks them from the shadows. The Daedalus Code When agents Phaedra and Aegeus of New Crete's Intelligent Data Enforcement Agency are tasked to find five missing Artificial Intelligence students, their single lead takes them to a notorious hacker known as 'The Cretian.' With his help, they uncover a terrible truth: Ariadne, one of the students, is involved with a rogue AI program called The Daedalus Project. The AI is out of control, people are going missing, and a great swathe of the world’s data is being secured within its digital labyrinth.