From New York to Alaska, he tries to fend for himself without his trusty PA and life support, the unflappable Charmaine, for whom contentment lies in Jesus Christ and custard creams.With his blend of waspish wit and mischievous charm, Steward seeks out normal Americans, such as Joe le Taxi, the former NYPD officer who was one of the first on the scene at the Twin Towers and now runs an extortionate executive taxi service; Pam and Bob, a paranoid psychiatrist and a failed actor who once saw the back of Meryl Streep s head; Taylor the Alaskan bushwhacker who was raised by wolves and revels in their scat; Jeb the Yosemite inn-sitter who lives his life at the pace of a Ford Model T; Kacey Musgraves, the controversial country music star staying at the farm in Tennessee; and Sheriff Duke of Calhoun County, South Carolina, who reintroduces Steward to the long (and armed) arm of the law.For anyone at a crossroads, contemplating a temporary or permanent career break, this affectionate travel romp is essential reading. Journeying coast-to-coast across the US with Steward might just remind you that, despite the post-Trump hysteria, there are many normal and decent Americans out there

    The book follows the author's death-defying 200-mile journey in his antique Thomas Crapper bath - not just across the Channel, but around Kent - right up to the tremendous reception and huge media attention which awaited him under Tower Bridge. Tim met the Queen, and his bath now resides in the National Maritime Museum of Great Britain.

    The madcap action-horror story of the world's toughest former pro-basketball player returning home with his daughter to learn about his destiny and his mother's mysterious past, while—right next door— Dracula and his goons are on the eve of their bloodiest holiday.

    Scored for Frech horn and playable by any combination of instruments -- large ensembles, small ensembles, or solos -- the arrangements capture the wonderful sounds from the movie. Fingering charts are included. Titles are: Hedwig's Theme * Diagon Alley * Hogwarts Forever * Nimbus 2000 * Cast a Christmas Spell * Harry's Wondrous World.

    Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace on earth and goodwill toward all. But not for Lewis Black.He says humbug to the Christmas tradtitions and trappings that make the holiday memorable. In I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas, his hilarious and sharply observed book about the holiday, Lewis lets loose on all things Yule. It's a very personal look at what's wrong with Christmas, seen through the eyes of "the most engagingly pissed-off comedian ever."*From his own Christmas rituals—which have absolutely nothing to do with presents or the Christmas tree or Rudolph—to his own eccentric experiences with the holiday (from a USO Christmas tour to playing Santa Claus in full regalia), I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas is classic Lewis Black: funny, razor-sharp, insightful, and honest.You'll never think of Christmas in the same way.

    of the title is Jakabob Botch, a demon whose ghastly past could make even the most merciless sociopath whimper in sympathy. Born in the deepest regions of hell, the spawn of an abusive drunkard and his whorish wife, Jakabob escapes to the world above after suffering fiendish torture. Once topside, he lands conveniently in 15th-century Mainz, the home of printing inventor Johannes Gutenberg. However, Mister B. isn't interested in merely observing history; like any other self-respecting diabolical being, he's just searching for a new demonic angle. A ghoulishly good fright fest.

    With an estimated word count of well over 700,000 words, the book is not an undertaking for the casual reader. The book can be a very tedious and boring read. This turns many people off from wanting to commit any time to understanding the foundational doctrine of Christianity. However, as atheists we really need to have at least a basic understanding of the Bible if we are going to make a judgment call about the religion. No matter which sect of Christianity someone subscribes to, the Bible is the foundation of Christian belief. This book is a mere 7,000 words to tell a slimmed down version of the basic story of the Bible. This book focused on the narrative rather than any underlying allegory or metaphor inherent in the narrative. The author attempts to challenge the notion of biblical literalism by showing that the story in its most basic form is simply too fantastic for any rational person to believe.

    During the storm she learns the true meaning of Christmas with the help of her new friends, Stanley and Rosie.

    But whoever struck first, trying to take each other's lives is simply what they do.

    This charmingly funny, self-deprecating resumé of an ordinary man’s career to date and current life in the celebrity bear pit is penned by the author of the Sunday Times-bestselling Where Did It All Go Right?

     Eve is an 18,000 word novella originally published as an ongoing story on Reddit's Writing Prompts forum by user /u/psycho_alpaca.

    Every summer a mysterious man known only as "Frank" arrives to help George Givens's grandfather with his farmwork. No one knows the hired man's last name, where he comes from, or why he always seems to be so sad. Once the season's crops are harvested, he disappears only to reappear the following summer. This routine continues for many years -- until one fateful Christmas Eve.The hired man never returns to the Givens farm after that day, and the mystery of his final disappearance seems destined to remain unsolved. Then, on Christmas Eve many years later, George serendipitously discovers the long-lost hired man's fate. This discovery teaches him a powerful lesson about the importance of family and the endurance of love."The Hired Man's Christmas" is a story of simpler times, but its message resonates across the years and in the hearts of fathers and sons even today.

    With his dry wit and distinctive voice, Howard Mohr won millions of fans across the country on Garrison Keillor’s radio show A Prairie Home Companion. His popular commercials and ad spots, including one for “Minnesota Language Systems,” became the best of the best of Minnesota humor. Now, Mohr has updated his classic guide, How to Talk Minnesotan, to advise visitors on the use of Twitter and Facebook, cell phone etiquette, and more while in the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

    It's a tale filled with so much adventure, so much excitement, so much vocabulary, that all who read it will suffer a fit of giddiness that will freak out everyone in their general vicinity. It's the saga of Randall, a squire assigned to escort the lovely Princess Janice on a diplomatic journey of utmost importance. Then she gets killed. Now Randall must overcome desperate odds and ridiculous dangers in his quest to bring her back to life...before the entire Generic Fantasy Land falls into the evil clutches of The Dark One! Packed to the bursting point with unrestrained silliness (so be sure to hold it a safe distance from your face when reading), How to Rescue a Dead Princess is the novel all the really cool people are reading this year, an epic fantasy for your family to cherish approximately forever.

    Or as one gentleman whom had has picture taken at an infamous Old West Cemetery, only to have it developed and discover someone else was in the picture, too—holding a knife. Envision yourself walking along in a cemetery when a tall, handsome young man approaches asking for the location of a crypt. When you politely respond in the negative, he politely thanks you, turns, and disappears. Be cautious visiting a cemetery at dusk for a pack of large, dark-colored hellhounds with fiery red eyes might pass right through the trees as they are running toward you, barking and baying in a terrifying fashion. These stories and more fill the pages of this book. Included are cemetery hauntings from all over the world, including the United States, Ireland, Scotland, Canada, Egypt, Argentina, Mexico, and Czechoslovakia. Infamous hauntings from Greyfriars Kirkyard and Stull Cemetery, as well as countless lesser-known hauntings are guaranteed to unnerve even the bravest of readers. Ghosts of criminals, police chiefs, murder victims, innocent young children, distraught mothers, lonely bachelors, forlorn lovers, a cursed pharaoh and many more are described in this book. All sorts of manifestations are also integrated including ghostly animals, shadows cast by a hangman’s tree no longer there, a screaming skull encased in concrete…these are just a few of the ghostly manifestations you will learn of within these pages. Be prepared to view cemeteries in a whole new light. Don’t read this without all the lights on and think twice before visiting any of these cemeteries without showing the proper respect—you may not come out with your sanity intact. Ready to scare yourself senseless? Scroll to the top of the page and hit buy!