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Donald Drains the Swamp


Eric Metaxas - 2018
    Their King has forgotten all about them, thanks to the swamp creatures who surround the castle. “They’re slippery!” “—and scaly!” “and SLIMY!" Donald is just a caveman. But when the people ask for his help, he realizes there’s only one way to save the kingdom:  DRAIN… THE… SWAMP! Written by #1 national bestselling author and humorist Eric Metaxas and illustrated by award-winning artist Tim Raglin, Donald Drains the Swamp is a whimsical parable for the current political moment.

Once Upon a Crime


Fergus Craig - 2021
    Now Exeter is set to become the UK Capital of Culture and the ambitious Lord Mayor wants to turn things around. But when a young man's (dead) body is found in the centre of town, things get murky.Detective Roger LeCarre is a character never seen before in modern fiction - a tough but troubled detective with a drink problem and a marriage in trouble. Can he find out who killed the young man, save the city and change his energy provider before the new more expensive tariff kicks in?Filled with drama, eroticism and very specific Wikipedia-sourced information on Devon, Once Upon A Crime is a thriller which demands to be read.

FCBD: Rated Free For Everyone


Joey Weiser - 2011
    And in the Crogan's Adventure, you'll get an epilogue to the story of one of the brothers from Crogan's Loyalty.

Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats


T.S. Eliot - 1939
    Eliot for his godchildren and friends in the thirties. They have delighted generations of children since, and inspired Andrew Lloyd Webber's brilliant musical Cats.

Tim The Tiny Horse


Harry Hill - 2006
    His stable is a matchbox with a tic-tac box conservatory and with a cocktail stick, some cotton and a hawthorn berry, Tim can play swingball.

Riding Academy


Norman Thelwell - 1965
    This reprint contains Thelwell's invaluable advice to aspiring equestrians on how to get into the saddle and stay there.

But Can You Drink the Water? (Droll, witty and utterly British)


Jan Hurst-Nicholson - 2010
    Laugh out loud as they encounter ‘crocodiles’ on the wall, strange African customs and unintelligible Afrikaans accents. Cringe with them as their visiting in-laws embarrass them in front of their new SA friends.If you enjoyed Educating Rita and Shirley Valentine you will recognise Mavis Turner.Set in the 1970s, But Can You Drink The Water? uses subtle observational humour with an underlying pathos to portray the upsets, hurt and changing family dynamics that emigration brings. (The story is based on a 13-part sitcom) ReviewWith a droll, witty, utterly British voice, this manuscript tackles playfully and sincerely the age-old fish out of water tale. What sustains this book, however, is the narrative voice, the dry and self-deprecating humor, and the ability of this author to tell a story simply and well. Publisher’s Weekly reviewer for the ABNA semi-finals.

The Twelve Terrors of Christmas


John Updike - 1994
    This long out-of-print classic is the perfect stocking-stuffer for any bah humbug.

Stinky Santa: A Very Smelly Christmas E-book for Kids


Otto Fishblanket - 2012
    It is illustrated by celebrity childen's book illustrator, Gerald Hawksley.If you are searching for a Christmas ebook, particularly a Christmas ebook that rhymes and has pictures, and is about a smelly Santa, then you have come to the right place.(Any similarity to any real Santa is purely coincidental)

Girlfriend, Interrupted: From carefree twenty-something to instant mother-of-two...


Patricia Caliskan - 2018
     Enjoys walking barefoot across shards of broken home. Likes loaded silences, resentment and insomnia. Dislikes romantic weekends, lie-ins and any chance of future happiness. Former GSOH. Developing PTSD. Ella Shawe was undomesticated, unattached and uninhibited. Until she met Dan. Sexy, charming and funny, Dan ticked all the right boxes and Ella threw herself head-first into the whirlwind romance. But now she’s moved into his family home, complete with two demanding children and a hyperactive dog. Throw in Dan’s impossibly perfect ex-wife, Ella’s interfering sex therapist mother and the snooty and dismissive mother-in-law from Hell, and Ella is almost ready to throw in the towel. But, ready or not, Ella is part of the family now, and getting it right for Dan’s kids means getting it right for everyone. She just needs to figure out how to include herself in the mix… Girlfriend, Interrupted will have you laughing-out-loud, gasping in embarrassment and rooting for Ella all the way. This British romantic comedy is packed full of humour and has a delightful contemporary heroine at its heart.

Dirty Beasts


Roald Dahl - 1983
    From Stingaling the scorpion to Crocky-Wock the crocodile, Dahl's animals are nothing short of ridiculous. A clever pig with an unmentionable plan to save his own bacon and an anteater with an unusually large appetite are among the characters created by Dahl in these timeless rhymes. This new, larger edition is perfect for reading aloud and makes Quentin Blake's celebrated illustrations even more enjoyable. "Will elicit a loud 'Yuck.' In other words, children will love them." (Children's Book Review Service)

The Seven Lady Godivas


Dr. Seuss - 1939
    The explanation for their nakedness, even when walking in snow, is that "they were simply themselves & chose not to disguise it." The story opens with the sisters' father, Lord Godiva, deciding to leave for the Battle of Hastings on horseback. This upsets the sisters, as horses are wild & untamed animals. Sure enough, before Lord Godiva even manages to leave the castle walls, he is flung from his horse & killed. As a tribute to their father's fate, the Godiva sisters agree to never marry—despite the fact that each is courting one of seven brothers named Peeping—until they can warn their countrymen of the dangers of horses. The book then follows the sisters as they set out on individual quests for "horse truths", which turn out to be well-known sayings involving horses.

The Pornographer Diaries


Danny King - 2004
    He talks to the models, he reads hundreds of filthy readers' letters, he organises the photoshoots and even gets to direct the action. He has, according to his non-porn friends, "the best job in the world". But Godfrey Bishop has a problem. Godfrey Bishop is going through the sex drought to end all sex droughts. He hasn't been with a woman in over a year and this knee-twisting frustration is magnified a hundred times by his daily grind. He feels like Billy Bunter put in charge of the cake shop, only to have the Atkins diet forced upon him at gun point. Chuck into the mix a twelve girl orgy, a stable of alcoholic co-workers, an angry argumentative feminist, a naked run from justice and an obsessive nutty reader who thinks Godfrey is trying to scupper his chances of marrying the magazine's centre-spread girl and you have Danny King's filthiest and funniest novel yet – according to the back of the book. Godfrey Bishop has "the best job in the world" – and it's doing his f*cking head in.

Klopp Actually: (Imaginary) Life with Football's Most Sensible Heartthrob


Laura Lexx - 2020
    

Tales From the Perilous Realm


J.R.R. Tolkien - 2020