“You’re about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat’s butt.” Keep this book handy, someday you’ll be glad you have it. “Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you just be yourself.” Pick any of the many jaw-dropping insults then laugh at the look on your adversary’s face when you whip one out and use it on them. You’ll leave no doubt in their mind that you are a master of sarcastic insults! ADDED BONUS: In addition to the fresh and hilarious insults in this book, you’ll also find great sarcastic observations about life hidden inside this book’s pages, like… “I think the reason so many people have smart phones is because opposites attract!” You’re no idiot, so you need this book to start your new life as the master of sarcastic insults and put-downs! “Hey! Who left the Idiot Box open? Now they're everywhere!”

    I loved the settings, they really did come alive for me. The waterfall and the cave scenes took my breath away.” Jera’s Jamboree Book Blog “If you want a fun adventure that is fast paced and mentions Treasure Island then this is for you.” Comet Babe’s Books “A very entertaining and fun read. Another great addition to the world of fiction by Janice Horton.” The Book Maven. “A lively romantic adventure, a nice and easy read that I found hugely entertaining, and enjoyable.” Books4U Castaway in the Caribbean Vacationing on the beautiful Caribbean island of Antigua, Janey Sinclair is persuaded by her magazine editor boss to do a quick island hop in order to supervise an impromptu photo-shoot for the front cover. With no flights immediately available, Janey is directed to the harbour. Captain Travis Mathews hates tourists, although he’s not above making a bit of money off a prissy and sharp tongued young British girl when she’s desperate to get to the neighbouring island of Tortola. After striking a deal, they set off together in Travis’s weather-beaten old boat. When the vessel comes to a sudden full stop in the sea, the mismatched pair end up as castaways on an uninhabited island. In this fast moving romantic adventure about a vacation that turns into a tropical nightmare there’s more fun than you’ll find in any travel brochure. A message from the author: I was incredibly fortunate to spend most of last summer in the Caribbean, writing and researching this novel. I found it challenging only in the respect of being continually distracted from the manuscript by the tropical sunshine, the white sand beaches, the warm aquamarine sea, rum cocktails, and the fabulous social scene on offer. Many of these distractions are well documented on my website, blog and Facebook page, if you are interested in reading the details and seeing the photos! Janice xx

    Stalin’s War told the story of the build up to war, and now Truman’s War tells the story of two superpowers at war in the devastated landscape of post-war Germany that soon spreads across the globe. The drama opens with a massive series of attacks across a four hundred mile front as Marshal Zhukov’s powerful Red Army launches Operation Stalin’s Revenge against the ill-prepared Allied armies. The American and British armies having never faced such a powerful foe are sent reeling back from the opening attacks as entire units are soon overwhelmed by the advancing Soviet forces. The relatively untried American President is forced to grapple with the realization that the United States is threatened with its most deadly enemy in its history and a choice must be made…fight or retreat across the Atlantic in disgrace. Will President Truman rise to the occasion or instead falter and fail to live up to the exalted legacy of his predecessor. Massive battles in the air, land, and sea break out as Allied forces strike back but at an appalling cost. Massive pitched battles from Hamburg to Pilsen try to stem the Soviet onslaught, but victorious Soviet tanks push hard for the Rhine to secure a swift victory ever mindful they are up against the clock trying to win before American atomic arms can be brought to bear. Heroes emerge while others fall in disgrace unable to stand up to a new type of war, a total war unlike any the Allied armies ever thought possible. Truman’s War tells the story through the lives and actions of numerous historical figures from Truman, Churchill, Eisenhower, Patton, Montgomery, Bradley and countless others while also focusing on the great Soviets figures of the era, Stalin, Zhukov, Khrushchev, Rokossovsky, Chuikov, and others. Plus, numerous lesser known historical figures play their parts and fictional characters are also introduced to play important roles in the drama that plays out page-by-page until we reach the stunning conclusion setting up the third and final volume of the World in Flames trilogy.

    Phipps is “one of those rescues who are all the rage these days,” an upscale Manhattan dog with a rich owner, a great dog walker and an idyllic New York lifestyle. But his world is turned upside down when his owner, Angie DeSoto, suddenly passes from pancreatic cancer. The good news is that Angie leaves her millions to Mr. Phipps and he finds himself temporarily in the care of Devin McCloud, his dog walker and best bud. The bad news is that her adult children, a contentious clan at best, are furious about being left out in the cold, money-wise. And there's more. According to the terms of the will, Mr. Phipps and his millions will go to one of Angie's progeny, specifically the one best qualified to take care of him. After a brief trial period in which each one takes the dog, their efforts will be judged by a panel of dog experts – a famous, Cesar Millan-style dog trainer, a pet psychic and a renowned behaviorist. To further complicate matters, love will strike on several fronts as Mr. Phipps tells his story and his fate unfolds in this charming canine romantic comedy that reads like a date night version of "Marley and Me".

    But that was not so about his wit. At times, he behaved as if he had no sense or common knowledge at all. Finally, after a long long wait, he gets married. He gets an invitation from his in-laws place especially for the celebration of Diwali. His father warned him before leaving that he had to behave properly at his in-laws house as he is no more just anybody. On the contrary, he is now their son-in-law. So he must show attitude while being at their place.What happens then……………?

    The economy is collapsing, his health is failing, and around his hometown of Broughty Ferry, Bob is struggling to get the respect he deserves. Fortunately his email junk folder is bursting with offers of assistance from around the world. In these genuine emails, Bob Servant looks to the Internet's worst con merchants and charlatans for answers to his many woes. The author of the bestselling Delete This At Your Peril and the critically acclaimed Radio 4 series The Bob Servant Emails is back with an all-new compilation of emails targeting a fresh batch of email spammers—the false lenders who have bravely stepped into the credit crunch, supposed doctors offering expensive treatments for Bob's ailments, and fake foreign soldiers offering him military advice in his campaign against a local bowling club. They all find a man from Broughty Ferry who is ready and willing to give them his valuable time.

    She had to do it-she could no longer live with herself. But how is she going to explain the sudden appearance of a baby in Hollybrook? How will she answer the probing questions sure to come? Tessa is tired of lies. Tired of deception. But her mother refuses to destroy their chance for a new life, a new beginning. So, the sham continues. When Tessa's affection for Levi Riehl grows into something unexpected, she knows it will never work. She struggles to stifle their growing love, but Levi isn't so easily deterred. But how can Tessa hold any hope for a relationship when she can't reveal the truth? And even worse, how can she hold any hope for peace or a normal life when she can't forgive herself? "In the tradition of the works of Beverly Lewis, Cindy Woodsmall, and Wanda Brunstetter, Brenda Maxfield continues to bring you gripping Amish tales of love, struggle, and restoration." Enjoy this inspirational Christian romance today!

    Each prize reacts in one of the four typical responses most people have to facing uncertainty. And it is through those reactions, and subsequent actions, that they—and we—learn how our own response to uncertainty can either help or harm ourselves, those around us, and society as a whole.An urgently needed instrument for managing the anxiety and ambiguity we all face in our daily lives, this book will help readers thrive in challenging situations. Through this memorable story, you’ll learn:-How to embrace the uncertainty all around us-Why no one response works in every single uncertain situation-Why various personality types require different responses -How to identify the types of people who do well in uncertainty-Why it’s crucial to prevent a negative response-Why those who are hyper-aware of uncertainty thrive in it-Why it’s important to take action, no matter how uncertain you feelIn the spirit of Gibran’s The Prophet, What Happens in Tomorrow World? presents readers a modern-yet-timeless, unique, and useful toolbox on how to confront and manage the overwhelming amount of uncertainty we face every day.

    10 Stories of Love, Faith, and Family "Like Amish soup for the soul."From the author of the bestselling Amish romance series Forbidden Amish Love comes Amish Neighbors, a short story romance collection from the heart.Ten stories under one cover.

    Chris Kyle was a young man with a history of bravery and service to his country. The story of Chris Kyle's life and the life of his killer collided, bringing to light war and its effects on young men and women. When considered, Chris Kyle’s life brings up many of the hot button issues on the minds of Americans today. One only need turn on the television Sunday morning to hear the debate of gun violence, mental illness and the systems which fail to help those in need.Chris Kyle was a mythical figure to many who followed Chris Kyle's story. Chris Kyle was counted on as a protector to many including the wife and two children Chris Kyle left behind. Chris Kyle was a devoted family man, mentor and a lethal sniper in service to his country.Chris Kyle’s life and death peel back as an onion beginning with his birth and proceeding to Chris Kyle's harrowing war experiences culminating in his death.

    Laxman profiles ten hilariously idiosyncratic people, who are among the countless men and women who run the lives of the middle class in India. The tales are put together by Ganesh, a freelance journalist trying to write a feature article on servants he has known. As his chronicle progresses, what emerges is a richly embellished narrative starring unforgettable characters. There is Swami, the cook, who finds his true vocation as a godman; Kumar, who deserts his household duties to pursue his tinsel-town dreams; Anthony, the driver, who makes money on the side by giving lifts to strangers; the maid Shanti, whose lift is thrown into turmoil by the neighbour's servant who is besotted with her; and Ramaswami, a trusted retainer who reappears mysteriously, much to the consternation of his employer, long after he has been presumed drowned. Marked by Laxman's trademark wit, and including pencil sketches drawn especially for this edition, Servants of India is a delightful read.

    Amrutananda and Kapiladeva were cunning and extremely sly landlords in two neighbouring villages. They would cheat and ill-treat their labourers, but make a lot of money. However, someone had to teach them a lesson and that’s how Manikya arrived on their doorstep, offering to work for them for free, all set to teach them two very important lessons. Another clever story from the master of funny stories, Two Unforgettable Lessons will amuse you, entertain you and leave you rooting for Manikya and his brains long after you’ve finished the story.

    This is a #MeToo story that has waited over a century to be told. Mt. Clemens, Michigan, 1887. Seventeen and headstrong, with marriage on her mind, Maggie is sure she has found her one true love. But when she collides head-on with betrayal, overwhelming loss and ill-treatment, her life unravels. Maggie rises above adversity through rare determination and grit, becoming an independent woman ahead of her time. Yet before she can truly find peace, one heartbreaking, life-altering decision remains. Inspired by her great-grandmother's life, the author weaves a timeless story of survival and courage set against the backdrop of Mt. Clemens, Michigan and the prairies of eastern Montana at the turn of the twentieth century.

    Against the relentless onslaught of Russian and Czechoslovakian divisions pouring into West Germany, Captain Kurt Mohr and his tank crews wage a desperate battle to delay the enemy advance. As a brand new company commander, he must also prove his metal to the men who serve under him. Amid the breakneck speed of mechanized warfare, Mohr battles his own self-doubt and fear in order to quickly adapt to the fast-paced battlefield environment. Fighting in Lower Bavaria also poses unique challenges to his command abilities as the close-in nature of the terrain forces him to deal with threats at point blank range. As the war's first day progresses, the brutal reality of war hits home. With the future of their nation at stake, Mohr and his men become the storm and steel that avenge the countrymen whose lives they are sworn to protect.

    Surrounded by seasonal joy - and way too many stuffed Yuletide beavers - at the island house her family has owned for generations, she's all set for the perfect holiday.But when a young friend asks for help with figuring out a financial snafu, her perfect day is in jeopardy. Can Irma - a woman with a yen for strong tea, cardio, and a well-oiled gun - find a thief before the festive season kicks off, or will Christmas be ruined?Peace on Earth is a 30,000 word holiday novella, and is the first book in the forthcoming Beaver Island Mystery series.