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WRONG! Retro Games, You Messed Up Our Comic Book Heroes! (Awesomely Nerdy Nitpicks 1)
Chris Baker - 2014
This ebook documents the most egregious – and most hilarious – offenders from the moment Superman flew onto the Atari 2600 in 1978 all the way through 1992, when Konami's classic X-Men sucked in quarter after quarter in arcades. NEARLY 80 SUPERHERO GAMES Some you've played. Some you haven't. And quite a few you never even knew existed in the first place. Some high-/lowlights:
Purple Dark Knight vs. Green Joker in Batman: The Video Game (NES)
Proven instances of "slapping a license" on an already-developed game
Games that stripped Wolverine and He-Man of their most iconic weaponry
A questionable transportation method for the Man of Steel in Superman (NES)
A Transformers game from the creator of Pitfall!
The strangest comic book license ever to hit the Sega Genesis
The most unnecessary tie-in to a superhero animated series of all time
The Danger Mouse Trilogy
That one lonely Thundercats game
ANSWERS TO BURNING QUESTIONS YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW TO ASK
Who is "the Princess Peach of superhero games"?
Who was the first Marvel character to be featured in three games? And what's the single gaming appearance he's had since 1985?
Which super-character is most consistently misrepresented in games?
What common superhero gaming feature was pioneered by LJN's otherwise absolutely horrible X-Men NES game?
Which hero's primary gaming nemesis is someone he still has yet to even meet in the comics?
What do an NES game and a major restaurant chain agree is Wolverine's favorite food?
Why is Carnage getting naked on my SNES?!
GAMING PLATFORMS YOU LOVED...OR DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED Atari 2600 | Intellivision | Commodore 64 | Nintendo Entertainment System | Game Boy | Super NES | Sega Master System | Genesis | Game Gear | Lynx | ZX Spectrum | MSX | PC-DOS | MORE! YOUR FAVORITE HEROES (AND SOME YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF)
From Marvel! Spider-Man | Wolverine and the X-Men | Hulk | Captain America, Iron Man, Hawkeye, Vision, and a bunch of other Avengers | Punisher | Human Torch and the Thing from the Fantastic Four | Silver Surfer | Howard the Duck
From DC! Superman | Batman | Flash | Swamp Thing
From Other Comic Publishers! Conan | Flash Gordon | Judge Dredd | Ex-Mutants
From Toy Lines and Cartoons! Transformers | Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles | He-Man and the Masters of the Universe | Bartman and Radioactive Man from The Simpsons | G.I.
Lush: A True Story, Soaked in Gin
Gabrielle Fernie - 2018
Very rich and providing great sensory pleasure (Oxford English Dictionary)n. A habitual drunkard (Oxford English Dictionary)'Arms linked, just as we did when we were seventeen, we teeter our way to the club, pausing to tug Emma's stiletto out of a drain cover and sling our empty wine bottle into the bin. For the first time in a long while I feel truly happy. I want to be standing arm-in-arm with my best friend, both completely pole-axed, for the rest of my days. And then it comes to me, with a stab: this is possibly our last night out together as free women...'Gabby and Emma have been best friends since primary school in Wales. Emma has a stable job, a nice home and has just got engaged. Gabby has had a succession of disastrous one-night-stands and five awful jobs since drama school . . . and she has just been diagnosed with scurvy. She has one year until the wedding to pull herself together and prove to her friends and family that she can be a proper grown-up.Described by Caitlin Moran as 'filthy, immoral and incredibly funny', Gabrielle Fernie's blog, loveisa4letterturd.com, catalogued her life as a struggling actress with a taste for gin. Here, in her first book, she shares more of her most raucous stories with eye-watering honesty. It is a refreshing, frank and laugh-out-loud account of a young woman trying to find her place in the world; ultimately realising that it's fine to play at being an adult until she properly figures it out.
Zombies Ate My Homework (Shingles Book 5)
John G. Hartness - 2018
Wake his kid brother Andy up, get tormented on the school bus by the cool kids, try to avoid them while in school. Except it's Field Trip Day to the Science Museum, and now he's stuck with the meanest kids in seventh grade all day! But then the bus breaks down, so he doesn't even get to do anything cool at the science museum. It's okay, because an industrial accident brings science to Todd and his friends in the form of a zombie apocalypse. When the bus driver abandons them in the middle of a zombie outbreak, Todd, his brother Andy, his best friend Tarik, and their tomboy friend Mikayla take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. What can you find in an adult toy store to fight zombies? Well…let's just say that the field trip was pretty educational, even if the kids never made it to the museum! Shingles is the comedy horror series from the gang that brings you the Authors & Dragons podcast. Like the podcast, these books are rated Not Safe For Anything.
Damon Runyon Omnibus
Damon Runyon - 1944
A world of speakeasies and dancing girls where a gambler or bootlegger is perfectly normal and respectable in every way. Those familiar with "Guys and Dolls" know what to expect!
CFI! The Book: A Satirical Aviation Comedy
Alex Stone - 2018
The planes break, the regs break, metal gets bent, students are lost at sea, and a Top Gun wannabe student, who has four hundred hours of flight instruction, still hasn’t made his first solo flight. “CFI! The Book” is an over-the-top satirical aviation comedy that’s loosely based on real world experiences of flight instruction, but if the FAA asks, this is all strictly fictional.
Fatherhood: The Truth
Marcus Berkmann - 2005
But if you look closely most of them are about motherhood. Fathers get brief paragraphs about needing the odd cuddle themselves and being helpful for carrying the heavier elements of baby kit, but that's it. Fatherhood - The Truth, on the other hand, is a shed-friendly man's guide to the whole scary, life-changing business. One that looks beyond the happy-clappy cliches into the fiery hell of night feeds and projectile vomiting. 'Shit happens' will suddenly start to make sense as a phrase. Providing crucial information and insight on every aspect of parenting with pitch-perfect humour, it takes the dad-to-be on a white-knuckle ride from conception to the first birthday that also considers the emotional truths and selfish imperatives that fathers are usually asked to bury out of sight. A personally informed journey, Fatherhood - The Truth also touches all the crucial practical bases to make it a one-stop, know-it-all manual for the father-to-be.
Take Us To Your Trump
Andrew Stanek - 2018
Okay yes, all that stuff too, but I'm not talking about that right now. The government has also been lying to us about space aliens. Aliens have landed on the National Mall and are asking to speak with the President of the United States. For the sake of the planet, diplomat Michael Wallenson is tasked with keeping them away from Donald Trump at all costs. Will Michael succeed? Or will these heavily armed, easily offended aliens succeed in reaching our leader? Building the border dome, coal-powered missiles, and the true identities of the men in black - all in Take Us To Your Trump, another hilarious satirical comedy from author Andrew Stanek.
Knee Deep in Life: Wife, Mother, Realist… and why we’re already enough
Laura Belbin - 2020
how tom holland Eclipsed his dad
Dominic Holland - 2013
Dominic Holland is this 'celebrity' dad - a professional stand-up comedian and author. He has appeared on television many times including The Royal Variety Show and Have I Got News For You. He has had his own award winning BBC Radio Four series, The Small World of Dominic Holland. A published author, journalist and writer for other famous comedians... So no slouch himself then. But his eldest son, Tom, played Billy in BILLY ELLIOT THE MUSICAL in London's West End and then was cast in the leading role of Lucas in the film, THE IMPOSSIBLE, now on general release in cinemas worldwide. As well as stand-up comedy, fortunately for this story, Dominic Holland has also taken a crack at Hollywood with his writing and compared to his son, with very contrasting results. Tom flies back and forth to LA to accept and give out awards while his dad still treads the boards and in smaller and less salubrious venues that most egos could bear. "How tom holland eclipsed his dad" is an extraordinary true story and a complete fluke. Without a drama lesson in site, let alone a stage school, how a young boy gets himself long listed for an Academy Award and gets to meet and mix with Hollywood's glitterati is an interesting tale on its own - but the story is hilarious when set against the endeavours of his dad. Written with great affection by a dad who is much more proud than he is bemused, this book will appeal to any parent who wants their kid to prevail and to any kid who casually dreams of becoming a star themself.
The Onion Presents: Christmas Exposed
The Onion - 2011
Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.
Running: Cheaper Than Therapy: A Celebration of Running
Chas Newkey-Burden - 2017
Written by a Telegraph and Guardian journalist and self-confessed running nut, this smartly packaged and brilliantly knowing miscellany details entertaining, real-life runners' stories (being overtaken by a kid/OAP or getting lost while training) and takes a humorous look at the mistakes runners make (wearing a brand new pair of trainers for half marathon or getting so pumped by your morning run you have arguments with everyone at work).
A Sticky Note Guide to Life
Chaz Hutton - 2016
He covers all the important things: dating, working, eating, fighting gorillas, the impossible physics of toothpaste, the family history of a sock drawer, and so much more.Basically, all the big life questions that you didn’t realise needed answering.
National Lampoon: 1964 High School Yearbook: 39th Reunion Edition
P.J. O'Rourke - 1974
Estes Kefauver High School in Dacron, Ohio! They’re all back in glorious black and white with color Magic Marker–Chuck U. Farley, Maria Teresa Spermatozoa, Purdy “Psycho” Lee Spackle, Faun Laurel Rosenberg, and, of course, Dacron’s most famous son, Larry Kroger. Learn everything there is to know about Kroger’s past before he became the pop-culture legend Pinto (Tom Hulce), the virgin fraternity pledge in National Lampoon’s Animal House. With a hilarious “Where are they now?” addendum and a brilliantly funny new introduction by P. J. O’Rourke, the 39th Reunion Edition is sure to be the talk of the baby boomers who grew up with National Lampoon and of the new generation of comedy fans spawned by the success of The Onion.
Big White Panties
Dale Alderman - 2008
Although he has been with his wife, Starla, for over twenty years, Dale freely admits that he knows absolutely nothing about women and he has the stories to prove it including: Check Yes or No, Just Friends, You Will Love My Cat, With This Pre-nup I Thee Wed, My Eggs Are Rotting, and Big White Panties. Ladies, if you have ever wondered what your man is really thinking, Dale will tell you. Guys, if your lady has ever left you confused and frustrated, you are not alone. Dale has been there, too. To strengthen your relationship, sit on the couch with your soul mate, share a nice box of wine, and laugh out loud at Big White Panties. Dale Alderman lives in Chantilly, Virginia with his wife, Starla, and two sons, Chase and Logan. He graduated from Virginia Tech in 1984 and received a masters degree from Marymount University in 1995. For 19 years, he worked as a sales and marketing executive for large global corporations, and then he decided to get a real life and spend time with his family. An award-winning author, Dale has appeared on FOX & Friends on the FOX News Channel and has appeared on many nationally syndicated radio shows. Dale is the author of Everyday Dad, a collection of funny stories about fatherhood. He is also the author of The MegaDog Tales, a middle grade adventure about a cocker spaniel that becomes a superhero.