Shrek!


William Steig - 1990
    Shrek, a horrid little ogre, goes out into the world to find adventure and along the way encounters a witch, a knight in armor, a dragon, and, finally, a hideous princess, who's even uglier than he is!

NERDS: National Espionage, Rescue, and Defense Society


Michael Buckley - 2009
    With the help of cutting-edge science, their nerdy qualities are enhanced and transformed into incredible abilities. They battle the Hyena, a former junior beauty pageant contestant turned assassin, and an array of James Bond–style villains, each with an evil plan more diabolical and more ridiculous than the last.

Harriet the Invincible


Ursula Vernon - 2015
    She may be quite stunning in the rodent realm (you'll have to trust her on this one), but she is not so great at trailing around the palace looking ethereal or sighing a lot. She finds the royal life rather . . . dull. One day, though, Harriet's parents tell her of the curse that a rat placed on her at birth, dooming herto prick her finger on a hamster wheel when she's twelve and fall into a deep sleep.For Harriet, this ismostwonderful news: It means she's invincible until she's twelve! After all, no good curse goes to waste. And so begins a grand life of adventure with her trusty riding quail, Mumfrey...until her twelfth birthday arrives and the curse manifests in a most unexpected way. Perfect for fans of Babymouse and Chris Colfer's Land of Stories, this laugh-out-loud new comic hybrid series will turn everything you thought you knew about princesses on its head."

Tim The Tiny Horse


Harry Hill - 2006
    His stable is a matchbox with a tic-tac box conservatory and with a cocktail stick, some cotton and a hawthorn berry, Tim can play swingball.

Half Upon a Time


James Riley - 2010
    After all, his father's been missing ever since that incident with the beanstalk and the giant, and his grandfather keeps pushing him to get out and find a princess to rescue. Who'd want to rescue a snobby, entitled princess anyway? Especially one that falls out of the sky wearing a shirt that says "Punk Princess," and still denies she's royalty. In fact, May doesn't even believe in magic. Yeah, what's that about? May does need help though--a huntsman is chasing her, her grandmother has been kidnapped, and Jack thinks it’s all because of the Wicked Queen . . . mostly because May’s grandmother might just be the long-lost Snow White. Jack and May's thrillingly hilarious adventure combines all the classic stories—fractured as a broken magic mirror—into the first of an epic new series of novels for the ages.

The Gashlycrumb Tinies


Edward Gorey - 1963
    Gorey tells the tale of 26 children (each representing a letter of the alphabet) and their untimely deaths in rhyming dactylic couplets, accompanied by the author's distinctive black and white illustrations. It is one of Edward Gorey's best-known books, and is the most notorious amongst his roughly half-dozen mock alphabets.[2] It has been described as a "sarcastic rebellion against a view of childhood that is sunny, idyllic, and instructive". The morbid humor of the book comes in part from the mundane ways in which children die, such as falling down the stairs or choking on a peach. Far from illustrating the dramatic and fantastical childhood nightmares, these scenarios instead poke fun at the banal paranoias that come as a part of parenting.

Heck: Where the Bad Kids Go


Dale E. Basye - 2008
    Milton can understand why his kleptomaniac sister is here, but Milton is—or was—a model citizen. Has a mistake been made? Not according to Bea 'Elsa' Bubb, the Principal of Darkness. She doesn't make mistakes. She personally sees to it that Heck—whether it be home-ec class with Lizzie Borden, ethics with Richard Nixon, or gym with Blackbeard the Pirate—is especially, well, heckish for the Fausters. Will Milton and Marlo find a way to escape? Or are they stuck here for all eternity, or until they turn 18, whichever comes first?

I Saw Esau: The Schoolchild's Pocket Book


Iona Opie - 1947
    Collected in this invaluable book are the wit and wisdom of generations of schoolchildren—more than one hundred and seventy rhymes ranging from insults and riddles to tongue twisters, jeers and jump-rope rhymes. With Iona Opie's introduction and detailed notes and Maurice Sendak's remarkable pictures—vignettes, sequences, and full-page paintings both wickedly funny and comically sad—this book offers knowledge and entertainment to all who open it. Like a collection of Mother Goose nursery rhymes or Grimms’ fairy tales, I Saw Esau deserves a place among the classic texts of childhood.

A Pig Parade Is a Terrible Idea


Michael Ian Black - 2010
    But you'd be wrong. A pig parade is a terrible idea. Pigs hate to march, refuse to wear the uniforms, don't care about floats, and insist on playing country music ballads. Those are just some of the reasons. And trust me, this hysterical book has plenty more!

The Complete Tales and Poems of Winnie-the-Pooh


A.A. Milne - 1961
    Along with his young friend, Christopher Robin, Pooh delighted readers from the very beginning. His often befuddled perceptions and adorable insights won the hearts of everyone around him, including his close group of friends. From the energetic Tigger to the dismal Eeyore, A. A. Milne created a charming bunch, both entertaining and inspirational. These simple creatures often reflected a small piece of all of us: humble, silly, wise, cautious, creative, and full of life. Remember when Piglet did a very grand thing, or Eeyore's almost-forgotten birthday?Gorgeous watercolor illustrations from Ernest H. Shepard appear in all their glory. With beautiful colors and simple lines, these images hold their own as classics. The tales, filled with superb story lines and lessons, will continue to capture the hearts of new generations.

Phoebe and Her Unicorn


Dana Simpson - 2014
    She has no choice ... one day she skipped a rock across a pond, and hit a unicorn in the face. Improbably, this resulted in a lasting friendship between Phoebe and the unicorn, one Marigold Heavenly Nostrils.Come along for the unicorn ride with Phoebe, as she deals with the usual burdens of childhood (cruel classmates, gym class, piano lessons) and also some unusual ones (magic hair, candy-breathing dragons, and the legendary Shield of Boringness).Can a precocious little girl and a self-absorbed mythical forest creature find common ground? Indeed they can, and that's how Phoebe and Her Unicorn unfolds.

The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury


Bill Watterson - 1988
    The strip follows the richly imaginative adventures of Calvin and his trusty tiger, Hobbes. Whether a poignant look at serious family issues or a round of time-travel (with the aid of a well-labeled cardboard box), Calvin and Hobbes will astound and delight you.Beginning with the day Hobbes sprang into Calvin's tuna fish trap, the first two Calvin and Hobbes collections, Calvin and Hobbes and Something Under The Bed Is Drooling, are brought together in this treasury. Including black-and-white dailies and color Sundays, The Essential Calvin and Hobbes also features an original full-color 16-page story.

Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich


Adam Rex - 2006
    Monster-sized. You try to address Dracula's hygiene issues. And don't even get me started on the Phantom of the Opera. Really, just read this book.

A Die Hard Christmas: The Illustrated Holiday Classic


Doogie Horner - 2017
    But when his wife’s office holiday party turns into a deadly hostage situation, he has to save her life before he can get home in time for Christmas!The unconventional fan-favorite movie Die Hard is now an illustrated storybook—complete with machine guns, European terrorists, and a cop who’s forced to rely on all his cunning and skills (and the help of a fellow officer) to save the day. Based on the classic "Night Before Christmas" poem and filled with whimsical illustrations, this cleverly reimagined homage is destined to become a holiday classic.*Contains adult material including violence and strong language. Reader discretion is advised. Ho-ho-ho.

The Thing Beneath the Bed


Patrick Rothfuss - 2010
    It has pictures. It has a saccharine-sweet title. The main characters are a little girl and her teddy bear. But all of that is just protective coloration. The truth is, this is a book for adults with a dark sense of humor and an appreciation of old-school faerie tales.There are three separate endings to the book. Depending on where you stop, you are left with an entirely different story. One ending is sweet, another is horrible. The last one is the true ending, the one with teeth in it.The Adventures of the Princess and Mr. Whiffle is a dark twist on the classic children's picture-book. I think of it as Calvin and Hobbes meets Coraline, with some Edward Gorey mixed in.Simply said: This is not a book for children.