"Engines are out. Our course is whatever it was when we were hit, but I can't figure it out because the computer and the instruments are smashed. We have enough power and control to keep a minimal shield up and keep the lights on in here. Most of the lifts are out because there has been too much structural twisting. I will leave weapons to Fire Control." "None worth mentioning," Ruoni put in. "What do you want to do, Command?" It reminded me of the line I would hear on third and thirty-four when the coach asked me what I wanted to call. This is the story of Danny Troy, a has-been pro quarterback in desperate need of a fresh start. So, when he gets a bizarre job offer to be a space pirate, he takes it. A chance brawl on the ship leads him to a damsel in distress. He rescues her only to find she is a lot more than he bargained for. Danny’s idea is to see her safely home and collect a (big) reward. However, the damsel, Jaenna by name, has other ideas. The pair careen across the spiral arm from one adventure to the next, while Danny’s “career” grows to pirate captain and finally to a warlord who holds the fate of galactic civilization in his hands. What decision is Danny going to make? And what is he going to do about the girl? This is an action-packed, space opera, with a dash of American football added to the mix.

    When Rex encounters a band of stick-wielding separatists on the planet Chicolini, he thinks he’s found the buyers he’s been looking for. But Rex’s greed knows no bounds, and he’s determined to scam the separatists out of their cargo so that he can re-sell his black-market booty a few more times before leaving the planet. As the complications in Rex’s plan multiply, he becomes a target of not only the separatists, but also of paramilitary thugs, the local cops, and even the Ursa Minor mafia. Will Rex’s long-suffering robot companion talk some sense into him before he gets them both killed? Or will Rex, the self-described “greatest wheeler-dealer in the galaxy,” finally succeed in outsmarting himself?

    Once the socket is surgically attached to the skull, a mild current constantly stimulates the pleasure centers, producing ectasy beyond measure - and if wirehead is left plugged in and unattended, he or she will starve to death while experiencing indescribable joy. Which is what would have happened to Karen if a highly ethical burglar named Joe hadn't broken into her apartment, pulled her plug, and talked her out of committing suicide by ectasy. Now, Karen is determined to bring down those who sell the equipment that makes wireheading possible, but as she and Joe attempt to trace the source of the wirehead technology, they keep turning up indications of a shadowy global conspiracy -not to control the world, but to prevent anyone fromn realizing that the masters of mind control have been controlling us all for some time now...

    Aside from issue 1, all of these issues are permanently out of print! PLUS: 2 new pages and a new "cleaned up" look to issue 3. Foreword and scathing letters column by Dan Harmon. Idiot guide to the cast list and Jeff's samples. Scud's top ten influences. Fan mail. Fan art. Fan-tastic book.

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    He has, however, been a disappointment to his family in several ways: In appearance he is insignificant looking both in face and figure; he went to the University of Florida instead of Harvard where his forbears had been mainstays of the varsity crew for generations, and he studied agriculture instead of pointing himself toward a career in banking, bonds, or law. To say the least he is not apparently the stuff from which heroes are fashioned.As an agricultural expert specializing in fruit farming, Arthur becomes a Peace Corps volunteer and is assigned to the Republic of San Marco in the Caribbean. This weak-chinned Don Quixote soon acquires his Sancho Panza in the person of a rascally eleven-year-old boy, Pepe, who makes a bargain to be paid 400 pesos each time he saves Arthur's life. (The payments mount alarmingly!)The island's dictator thinks he can use Arthur to obtain military supplies with which to wipe out the band of guerillas in the hills who oppose his corrupt dictatorship. Failing in this the dictator decides to murder Goodpasture and cause an international incident by blaming it on the guerillas. This, he reasons, will bring the U.S. in to help stamp out the rebels.This plan also backfires (with Pepe's help, of course) and Goodpasture is taken prisoner and when they see he is a harmless eccentric he is appointed chief cook for the guerillas. From then on Arthur's life becomes a series of misadventures through which he moves serenely and from which he generally emerges unscathed (again with Pepe's assistance) until he surprisingly finds himself the guerillas' leader.Following one of the funniest bloodless revolutions imaginable Arthur Peabody Goodpasture ends up as Arthur el Gavilan, the new dictator of San Marco. "His strength was as the strength of ten because his heart was pure."

    Not the most respected and popular Nepali actor who has kept us rolling on our couches so often – but rather his namesake. The namesake has a certain set of skills – the same set of skills that made Haribamsa the Haribamsa that we know today. But it takes more than talent to become successful, that we find out in this cleverly reimagined real-life-story of a novel.

    Meet the man who vacuums bewildered prairie dogs out of their burrows; a frustrated werewolf who roams the streets of Soho getting mistaken for Brian Blessed; a smug carbon-neutral eco-couple; a teenage girl who invites 45,000 MySpace friends to a house party; the author of a business book entitled Highly Successful Secrets to Standing on a Corner Holding Up a Golf Sale Sign and a man whose attempts to teach softball to a group of indolent British advertising executives sparks an international crisis.

    

    Funny and touching, these monologues from original live broadcasts of A Prairie Home Companion focus on the winter season.Includes: "Guys on Ice," "The Christmas Story Re-told," and "Storm Home."

    Owen, hopeless and downtrodden, wet and miserable. Suddenly, he is swept in through a doorway to a place full of wild imaginations, where loneliness and unfulfilled dreams are a thing of the past. Along with Messrs. Larkin, Britt-Britt and Dinner, the once completely ignored and abused Mr. Owen is pursued by women, has a constant supply of liquor, and hops from one off the wall adventure to another. He may lose his inhibitions, but he finds something he was in desperate need of, love. Miss Honor Knightly is everything he never knew existed and then some! This is a heartwarming tale of dreams coming true.

    

     Lime Peak Ranch is home to the Dumont and Ruggles families who raise cattle, train horses, and compete in PRCA rodeos. Life down the dirt road isn’t as perfect as it seems and secrets have roots deeper than the maple trees.   Ellie Dumont is in love with the wrong man. Logan Labrum is the son of her family’s biggest business rival Joe Labrum. Joe’s made things difficult for the Dumont family for years but that doesn’t stop Logan from turning Ellie’s head. They’ve been dating on the sly for months. As their love deepens, Ellie is torn between family loyalty and the man who stole her heart. George Dumont wants one thing: to have his family under one roof again. Carol left, taking their son, Levi, a couple years ago. Unsure how to approach a reconciliation with the redhead who lights a fire in his soul, George stumbles forward.  After a tractor accident cost Olivia Dumont the use of her left hand, she learned to hate doctors and the limitations they laid before her. Which is why she takes an instant dislike to their new renter, Dr. Robert Canton. Robert signed up for the Lime Peak Ranch experience and she’s going to make sure he gets it. Hauling five acres of hay bales in from the field is a good start. But Robert doesn’t complain and he doesn’t tell her she shouldn’t be using her hand or baby her like her family does. But Robert is holding back and Olivia can tell. The closer they get, the bigger the questions become. Bonnie Ruggles is the heart of Lime Peak Ranch, but her heart isn’t in it anymore. After years of carrying the burden of infertility and mysteries that started long before she married Dallas Ruggles, Bonnie is worn thin. Will their history together be enough of a reason to stick around or will the past be what pushes her off the ranch? Follow this family full of heart and love and loyalty as they work to navigate the bumpy roads ahead.

    Rowling (the HARRY POTTER series), Darren Shan (CIRQUE DU FREAK), R.L. Stine (the GOOSEBUMPS series), and Stephen King (IT)! Volume Three in the PETER AND THE MONSTERS series! Follow the adventures started in PETER AND THE VAMPIRES (Volume One) and PETER AND THE WEREWOLVES (Volume Two)!Tragedy has struck Peter’s best friend Dill. In his effort to help, Grandfather might have actually made things worse. But help is on the way in the form of a new ally, and important information surfaces that might explain the Curse now haunting Peter and his family. In this volume, Peter battles more supernatural mayhem, including:A scientist who pieces together a family of monstrous creations…A pack of small creatures that kill the local baker, and plan to make Peter their next victim…Peter’s own dark side, which rears its ugly head in a violent rampage…A mysterious ‘snow demon’ out of Native American legend that menaces Peter on a ski trip…And a couple of ‘walking dead’ who try to put Peter in the morgue during a visit to the hospital. The PETER AND THE VAMPIRES series is for teens and adults who, when they were kids, were looking for stories that kicked butt. The protagonist might be young, but the stories are dark, funny, and edge-of-your-seat suspenseful.PETER AND THE FRANKENSTEIN is the third in an ongoing series that includes PETER AND THE VAMPIRES (Volume 1) and PETER AND THE WEREWOLVES (Volume 2). This book is 150,000 words (450+ pages) and contains some mild language, violence, and scary situations.

    The gears of world war have begun to grind, but Inky Lautman, star point guard for the South Philadelphia Hebrew Association, America's greatest basketball team, is dealing with his own problems. His coach has unwittingly incurred a massive gambling debt to the Bund, a group of American Nazis. His main basketball rival is self-righteously leading public protests against homegrown American fascism. It's more than Inky can deliver. He just wants to play ball and occasionally beat people up for money. When the Bund comes calling for what it's owed, Inky has to make a stand for his ragtag bunch of teammates and the coach that got them into this mess. With the Bund closing in, Inky's game isn't just basketball anymore. It becomes a battle that pits Jewish pride against Nazi fascism. The tides of history are flowing against a guy like Inky. Can he make his free throws and still make it through the season alive? Get ready. This?is Jewball.