Always close the door when you’re in here with me.” My new boss is cold, calculating, and demanding. His name is Jett Davenport, and it suits him perfectly. His eyes are black. Jet black. I’ve never seen eyes that color or that intense. Nothing I do is ever good enough for him, and with each mistake I make, with each unwritten rule that I break, the consequences get worse and worse. Until finally he begins calling me into his office. He whispers in my ear that I can’t come until he tells me to. He touches me until I bite my lip to keep from screaming. He’s constantly in control, taking me to the edge and then pulling me back. He claims his number one rule is that he will never, ever sleep with an employee. But even if he slips up, one thing I can be sure of is that he will never stay with me for long. Never love me. Never marry me and keep me safe. Because if there’s one thing I can be absolutely certain Jett Davenport will break, it’s my heart…

    Good for readers in grades 1-3. Tyler has a monster called Eddie! He is a perfect monster at home- he is well mannered, helps Tyler practice his soccer skills and even cleans the house. But in public, it's a different matter! Eddie farts in public and doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. Not at all! Although Tyler pleads with him to stop, Eddie won't listen. It all ends in a way Tyler couldn't have imagined!

    

    Lee Baylor runs a failing garage in a dying southern Virginia town and when old friend—but present-day con—Randy Watson shows up with a plan to make some quick cash, Lee’s got to take it.Randy’s idea? Steal a one-of-a-kind, vintage Harley from millionaire movie star Jason Ford, who likes to act the hotshot biker at the annual Sweetwater motorcycle rally with his knockout starlet girlfriend Becky Winters.The only hitch is that Jason’s got money problems of his own, and when hillbilly gangster Baby Boy gets involved, there’s going to be hell to pay when they all try Stealing Sweetwater.Previously published under a different title.

     Join Cooper and the rest of the C&C gang as they fight tyranny the best way they know how... by being assholes. The author's share of royalties from sales of this title are donated monthly to the ACLU. Join me in pissing in the face of tyranny.

    

    And what would be a greater change in scenery than a renovated 1940s ocean liner called the SS Mystique? Audrey eagerly signs up, thinking all she’ll have to do is tend to wealthy passengers and their pets on a quaint old liner. Instead, she boards a ship shrouded in odd superstitions and deadly mysteries. First she must gain favor with Captain Truffles, the ship’s cat, then she needs to learn the ropes in three days flat before the SS Mystique takes on hundreds of more passengers. It wouldn’t be so bad—if not for the two bodies appearing right after the ship sets sail. Spitfire Audrey has a few ideas about who might be to blame, but a handsome Officer Gerald is determined to keep her off the trail. The SS Mystique Cozy Mystery series is fun, quirky, and exciting! If you're a fan of ocean liners, lovable pets, or grand adventures, this series offers all three!

    In this book, you’ll find a bit of everything including the usual helicopter parents and awful administration, horrendous student behavior with no consequences, and crazy-ass parents and their insane requests. But you’ll also find weirdly entertaining stories about a little kid with a foot fetish, a group of teachers chasing a naked kid around the school parking lot, and two pregnant sisters fighting over the same baby daddy on the first day of school. There’s plenty of gross stuff, like all the strange places kids put their poop and dirty maxi pads, a Barbie in a butthole, and kids who masturbate in class and hump desks. Unlike her other books, Morris included a sprinkling of tales that will break your heart and a few that will give you the warm and fuzzies we all need to keep going. This book is hilarious, shocking, heartwarming, sad, gross, and sometimes inspiring because that is what teaching is really like.

    Men are from earth. Just deal with it.” Though witty, this sentiment fails to recognize one of the real truths in life: that both genders are completely mystified by one another, and often have a mile-long list of complaints for the opposite sex. Yet, generally speaking, both men and women want to get along—especially if there’s romance involved. A Woman’s Guide to How Men Think offers a practical, humorous, yet compassionate guide for women who want to learn the secrets of the elusive male mind. With author Shawn Smith’s trademark humor, you’ll come to understand why men think and see the world the way they do, and how to work with men to cultivate understanding and communication in relationships, without expecting men to be creatures that they are not. This isn’t a male-bashing book about how men should be more like women, but a book about how men actually are, and how women can use this understanding to get what they need from their relationships. You’ll also learn why men often feel frustrated and criticized, how to deal with lack of communication in ways that don’t put men on the defensive, and how being curious and compassionate (while not accepting disrespectful or abusive behavior) instead of dismissing men for their inherently male traits can lead to greater understanding between the sexes. The plain truth is that both men and women are from planet earth. But that doesn’t mean we are the same. If you are looking for an insider’s guide to the ever-elusive male mind, this is the book for you. The author, Shawn Smith, is a psychotherapist with a blog at ironshrink.com.

    Her stories of being single in middle age, marked by stylish writing and stunning candor, left readers bent double with laughter when they appeared in her column, rated "Best of Baltimore" by Baltimore Magazine.Highs in the Low Fifties follows Winik’s attempt to rebuild her world as a once-widowed, once-divorced single mom. With her signature optimism, resilience, and poor judgment, Winik dives into a series of ill-starred romantic experiences. Her clarity about her mistakes and ability to find humor in the darkest moments—in love, and in all parts of life—has won her a growing crowd of devoted followers . . . and a few voyeurs.

    He has a full-time job and a wife and child and he's trying to shoot a level par round within the year. When he started the challenge he couldn't break one hundred. So he's trying to take thirty-three strokes off his game in one year and he asked me to find out your opinion on that.' Sam Torrance laughed, then slowly contemplated the question. 'Well, you can tell him from me to dream on.' Meet John Richardson, a regular bloke who enjoys a round of golf in his spare time. That is until he sets himself the challenge of playing a level par round within a year. With no natural talent, precious little time and no fitness level to speak of, can John pull it off? In spite of Sam Torrance's scepticism, John remains resolute and so begins an exhausting but exhilarating year of living, breathing, eating and sleeping golf. A rollercoaster ride from beginning to end, "Dream On" is funny and inspirational, and a must for any golfer who dreams of improving their game.

    Yesterday in broadcasting. Tomorrow in book form.” —Steve Simmons, Toronto Sun After nearly 50 years behind the microphone, the voice of hockey in America opens up in a must-read memoir. Mike “Doc” Emrick has seen everything there is to see in a hockey game. Sizzling slap shots. Commitment, courage, and camaraderie. Pugnacious pugilists. Game-winning goals. To hockey fans across the country, his voice—and vocabulary—have become synonymous with the game they love.  In Off Mike, Doc takes readers back to the beginning, detailing how a Pittsburgh Pirates fan from small-town Indiana found himself in the wild world of professional hockey, calling games for the New Jersey Devils, Philadelphia Flyers, and finally NBC.    He’s covered All-Star Games, Stanley Cup Finals, the Olympics, and everything in between, rubbing shoulders with hockey’s immortals both on and off the ice. Yet Doc’s life has had its share of ups and downs, from almost leaving behind the love of his life to the passing of beloved companions to personal health scares.  After years of being welcomed into our homes, in this autobiography Doc welcomes us into his, revealing the stories, wit, and wisdom that have made him one of the most beloved figures in sports.

    My best friend is ad-A-mant I not back out. Thank my lucky stars, I run into a group of crazy women at Zumba class who take me under their wing. Yippie! Things are looking up.Of freaking course, that's when my work situation goes belly up. And then my life gets truly complicated. My ex decides he wants me back, my personal trainer asks me out, and my millionaire male buddy decides to throw his hat in the ring. Oh boy.

    There have been rule books before—stacks upon stacks of them—but this book is unlike any other rule book you have ever read. It will not make you rich in twenty-four hours, or even seventy-two hours. It will not cause you to lose eighty pounds in a week. This book has no abdominal exercises. I have been doing abdominal exercises for most of my adult life, and my abdomen looks like it’s always looked. It looks like flan. Syrupy flan. So we can just limit those expectations. This book does not offer a crash diet or a plan for maximizing your best self. I don’t know a thing about your best self. It may be embarrassing. Your best self might be sprinkling peanut M&M’s onto rest-stop pizza as we speak. I cannot promise that this book is a road map to success. And we should probably set aside the goal of total happiness. There’s no such thing. I would, however, like for it to make you laugh. Maybe think. I believe it is possible to find, at any age, a new appreciation for what you have—and what you don’t have—as well as for the people closest to you. There’s a way to experience life that does not involve a phone, a tablet, a television screen. There’s also a way to experience life that does not involve eating seafood at the airport, because you should really never eat seafood at the airport. Like the title says, I want us all to achieve little victories. I believe that happiness is derived less from a significant single accomplishment than it is from a series of successful daily maneuvers. Maybe it’s the way you feel when you walk out the door after drinking six cups of coffee, or surviving a family vacation, or playing the rowdy family Thanksgiving touch football game, or just learning to embrace that music at the gym. Accomplishments do not have to be large to be meaningful. I think little victories are the most important ones in life.” — From the Introduction

    Together, they follow a trail of gold coins to Sinful, Louisiana, where a homeless guy named Bayou Bubba turns up dead with an alligator tooth in his hand and a gold coin between his teeth. Is Bubba Miss Chance’s long lost father? Or will the mystery of his disappearance suck her down into the bogs of the Bayou, and ruin her favorite purse?