It was dark down there, but someone placed a carrot in your hand and said, "Eat it." You took a bite and said, "Ow!" "Eat the carrot, not your hand," said the voice. You ate the carrot, the lights came on, and that's when all the trouble started... *********************************************************** A "read aloud" bedtime story for parents to read to/with kids aged 5 to 11. The star of the story is "you" (i.e. your child) and the story contains lots of humour to appeal to both children and adults alike. Scroll up and grab a copy - it's FREE!

    One of the biggest names at the 2014 World Cup, Neymar, playing for Brazil, sustained a serious injury but healed quickly and is now back on the field, winning games for Barcelona. The book also traces the history of the Brazilian national team, the most successful organization in the history of the World Cup. The book contains fascinating facts, spectacular images, and captivating and informative text.

    Perfect for young fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Mr Gum and Tom Gates!When Barry discovers that his mum and dad have failed to get him a superhero Future Ratboy costume (the keelest superhero in the WORLD) he is com-per-lee-ter-ly unimpressed to say the least. In fact, Barry has had enough of Christmas - and he's not the only one. Terry Claus, Father Christmas's smelly and disgusting younger brother is out to ruin Christmas for everyone - and he's taking Barry with him!Don't miss the other books in the series: I am not a Loser, I am still not a Loser, I am so over being a Loser, I am sort of a Loser, Barry Loser and the Holiday of Doom and Barry Loser and the case of the crumpled carton

    Gossiping neighbours and an unhappy marriage would have ruined many women, but Prafulla was not one to give in easily. With hard work and good sense, she turned her life around. An attractive heroine in Bankim Chandra Chattopadhyay’s novel, Prafulla rose from poverty to a life of riches and fame.

    Known as La Vecchia Signora - "The Old Lady" - she is the perfect blend of flair, artistry and skill, combined with a ruthless determination and will to win that constantly flirts with the less savoury elements of the game.For every Michel Platini or Alessandro Del Piero to win the hearts of fans of the beautiful game, there has been a Claudio Gentile or Paolo Montero waiting their moment to launch a well-timed elbow into an opponent. For every Gianni Agnelli to woo the crowds with his sartorial elegance and well chosen words, a Luciano Moggi lurks, playing the villain and serving to heighten the levels of hate felt towards the club by rival supporters.It is all encapsulated by those starkly contrasting stripes which have become synonymous with the Turin giants.This is that story, a history in black and white.

    'The Unforgiven' reveals how far the eccentric Revie was responsible for Leeds' outlaw status, using carpet bowls sessions for team building and exorcising a gypsy's curse at their ground.

    

    

    Laughing The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of yo mama jokes!WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today! tags: yo mama jokes, yo mama, your mama jokes, your momma jokes, yo momma jokes, yo momma joke book, funny jokes, jokes, joke book,joke gifts, jokes and pranks, jokes and gags, jokes book, jokes for kids, funny jokes for kids, funny jokes, funny jokes for adults, jokes and riddles, funniest jokes, best jokes, good jokes, best jokes ever

    Once hailed as The King, and widely acclaimed as one of the greatest footballers of his generation, Carey fell from the highest pinnacle of the game to the lowest of lows. From his brutal upbringing in Wagga Wagga to his early teen years where he discovered his love of, and talent for, football, Wayne's candid story of his early life reveals much about the man who has dominated headlines for more than a decade – first for his brilliance on the field, but more often for his troubled personal life.Covering the highs of his glory days at North Melbourne to his public downfall after his affair with his vice-captain's wife, Carey's memoir is extraordinarily honest. It is self-searching and searing in its examination of his own behaviour and its effects on those around him. His departure from North Melbourne marked the end of King Carey, and the beginning of a decline that was to see him bailed up in jail in both the US and Australia. His life became a train wreck, as he lurched from one disastrous incident to the next – from his serial infidelity to massive alcohol binges and a growing cocaine addiction – each played out on the front page of every newspaper in the country. This is the story of how a man can reach rock bottom, but begin to haul himself up again.The truth sets you free – but it can hurt. This is without doubt the most powerful sporting memoir ever published in Australia.

    Take a peek at what is really going on in this Creeper's life and how he overcomes trouble at school. Are Creepers really different from us? You'll be surprised at what you discover. So, jump into this Minecraft adventure and find out!. Diary of a Farting Creeper is a hilarious must-read for any kid who loves Minecraft. Kids ages 7+ can't wait to jump into to these Minecraft adventures!

    The winningest coach ever in college football, crafter of The Grand Experiment that put honor and academics above all else, finished his days under the dark cloud of shame and unspeakable child abuse. How? Why? What mix of fandom, ego, and unfettered power brought Penn State and its beloved coach to this? Just days after Paterno’s death comes this insightful look at the rise of Penn State under the 46-year reign of the man affectionately known as Joe Pa. Acclaimed writer Jonathan Mahler, author of the bestseller "Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bronx is Burning", has been immersed in reporting the Paterno saga since the scandal broke last fall. His penetrating narrative traces the arc of Paterno’s career from dogged Ivy League quarterback to visionary coach to unassailable icon. Over the years, as his fame and reputation grew, Happy Valley (as State College, Pennsylvania, was often called) morphed into the realm of Paterno; the chant “We Are Penn State” could just as easily have been “We Are Coach Paterno.” It was perhaps inevitable that what Mahler calls “a slow rot” began to pervade Joe Pa’s football program, culminating with the horrific scandal that rocked Penn State and forever altered the Paterno story. "As it all unraveled," Mahler writes, "he seemed to resemble less his hero Aeneas, building a new nation—Penn State Nation—in Happy Valley, than King Lear, clinging stubbornly to the throne when he no longer had the judgment required to remain in it, then succumbing to the grief and anguish that accompanied the collapse of everything he had so painstakingly built."Mahler’s admiring yet honest assessment shows what can happen when a school, and an entire community, falls under a cult of personality. Part eulogy, part post-mortem, part wise appraisal, "Death Comes to Happy Valley" is a thoughtful farewell to the larger-than-life man who was, in fact, merely mortal.***"An elegant book with a perfect ratio of reportage, biography and criticism. It gently pulls Joe Pa off the pedestal upon which he has long stood." — Dwight Garner, The New York Times***Jonathan Mahler is a contributing writer to the "New York Times Magazine" and the author of the bestselling "Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bronx is Burning: 1977, Baseball, Politics, and the Battle for the Soul of a City" (the basis for the ESPN mini-series “The Bronx Is Burning”) and "The Challenge: How a Maverick Navy Officer and a Young Law Professor Risked Their Careers to Defend the Constitution—and Won."

    Before he took the England manager's job in July 2016, he was the second longest-serving manager in the Premier League, behind Arsene Wenger.Over the last 42 years, Allardyce has seen it all. The game he so loves is radically different to that in which he made his debut back in 1973, and in telling his wonderfully colourful story for the very first time, Allardyce talks intriguingly about the changing face of players and managers. His autobiography positively crackles with characteristic insight, honesty and hard-hitting opinions.

    No passing, running, tackling, or kicking. Hey, there isn't even a field. Yet the draft has become more popular than many other sporting events, including the National Basketball Association (NBA) and National Hockey League (NHL) playoff games, against which it goes head-to-head for viewers. In fact, the draft has spawned its own cottage industry in which names such as Gil Brandt, Mel Kiper, Jr., and Mike Mayock become as well-known as any of the first-round selections.In On the Clock, Ken Rappoport and Barry Wilner chronicle the history of the proceedings. The veteran sports writers take you from the first grab bag in 1936, when Philadelphia chose Heisman Trophy winner Jay Berwanger of the University of Chicago and saw him decline to play in the NFL, to the 2014 draft—considered one of the deepest in talent ever.Along the 78-year journey, learn about the competitions for the top overall spot (Peyton Manning vs. Ryan Leaf), the unhappy No. 1s (John Elway and Tom Cousineau), the big flops (JaMarcus Russell) and the late-rounders-turned-superstars (Tom Brady).Meet the draft wizards, from Paul Brown to Bill Walsh and Jimmy Johnson. And the draft whiffs that cost personnel executives their jobs.On the Clock takes you behind the scenes at one of pro football’s yearly major events. Barry Wilner has been a sportswriter for the Associated Press since 1975. He has covered virtually every major sporting event, including twelve Olympics, nine World Cups, twenty-six Super Bowls, the World Series, and the Stanley Cup finals, and has written thirty-nine books. He lives in Garnerville, New York.Ken Rappoport is the author of more than sixty sports books for adults and young readers. Working for the Associated Press in New York for thirty years, he has written about every major sport. His assignments included the World Series, the NBA Finals, and, as the AP’s national hockey writer, the Stanley Cup Finals and the Olympics. He lives in Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey.

    In this amazing book, Sanders reveals for the first time how he came to make the biggest decision of his life.